Big Brother recap: Unlucky 13

Tonight's eviction proved a foregone conclusion, and Rachel pulled off a much-needed HoH win
Ep. 07 | Aired Jul 21, 2011

'BIG' GIRLS DON'T CRY Jordan's remorse after nominating Cassi and Shelly for eviction was too little, too late

Cliff Lipson/CBS

Despite the veterans' supposedly crumbling alliance, there was basically no discord in the house after Cassi and Shelly were nominated for eviction. Of course Shelly and Cassi were sad, but it really seemed like everyone knew the score and was swift to say their goodbyes to Cassi from minute one — and she likewise with them.

The only people who showed any response (the word "emotion" might be too strong) were Dom, Jordan, and Shelly whose safety meant Cassi's jeopardy. Shelly is most broken up, possibly a combined effect of the shock that she's up for eviction and the residual guilt of her secret alliance with the veterans in week 1. Dom and Jordan, though, were fairly fatalistic about it, knowing they did what they had to do. Jordan's tearful conversation with Jeff was especially lame since her main reason for tearing up was, "Now I feel like an a--hole." Own it, honey. This isn't your first time at the rodeo. The cynical side of me thinks they were just flapping their jaws about it because it killed five minutes in their day. Seriously, there is nothing to do in that house.

But let's get to the episode's highlight, shall we? Cassi straight-up confronted Rachel, calling her out for penalizing Cassi for being honest. Rachel's response that she was bad at the game = a total cop-out. But then Cassi brought the smackdown, telling Rachel, "You're a catty, catty girl... ugly person inside." Really hitting where it hurt, she latched onto Rachel's deepest neuroses ("America hates me!!!"), saying that she was a fan and defended her last season but now knows why everyone thinks she sucks. That was a punch right in the gut. And Rachel said Cassi couldn't play games.

So what did Rachel do? She went and cried to Jordan, who was awesomely and totally unsympathetic. Her response was, to paraphrase, "Well, you are a bitch. What do you expect?" Rachel kept sniveling, prompting Jordan to say (without a hint of consolation in her voice), "Don't cry." This is what your own medicine tastes like, Rach. Brendon finally jumps to Rachel's defense and makes it clear that he is out to get Cassi evicted. Moments later, Cassi tried to clear the air with Brendon, and he was having none of it. So, just in case it wasn't already painfully clear, Cassi knew she was done. Why any of them bothered to muster up the energy to get even mildly annoyed by this foregone conclusion is mildly baffling. Again I point to boredom.

The night also introduced us to Adam's and Dom's friends and family. We learned that Adam is a Big Brother savant who lost 100 pounds in his undying quest to get on the show and that Dom is a 25-year-old virgin who has never slept away from his mother's house in his life. Yeah, that'll cramp your style.

NEXT: Jordan will only slightly hesitate before stabbing her friends in the back

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