Andy, Andy, Andy, Andy, Andy, Andy, Andy.
Andy...I mean, seriously, Andy.
[Your recapper pauses. Shakes his head. Sheds a single tear. Listens to an entire Sigur Ros album.]
Andy did not just have one opportunity this week. He had all of the opportunities. He was the Head of Household. He held the Power of Veto. He was the single crossover person in two powerful endgame alliances: The Aaryn/McCrae/Amanda crew; and the Helen/Elissa Mom Squad, with a pair of floaters (Jessie and Spencer) who would have promised him the world for a life raft. "I have been playing a low-key game," he explained, "But I've been extremely strategic." From one perspective, he was right. Last night's episode of Big Brother began on Day 50, the exact halfway mark of this strange low-boil passive-aggressive season.
This was the moment to reboot the game, to radically upend the playing field. Backdoor Helen. Backdoor Amanda. Just do anything, absolutely anything at all. If Andy had not won any competitions this week, he arguably would have been the least important player in the game: Not a running target like Spencer or Jessie, not a gamemaker like Aaryn or Amanda or Helen or McCrae, not even a best friend meatbag like Elissa or GinaMarie. But he did win HoH, and he did win Veto, and it seemed for a second like every single person in the house was coming to him with the possibility of a power play.
And he did nothing. He kept the nominations the same. He said, over and over again, "I don't want to get any blood on my hands." It's obvious which way he's leaning -- he has more or less cast his lot with McCramda and Aaryn. They even have a name for their Final Four alliance: "3AM." Personally, I preferred "Easy A's and McCrae," which kind of sounds like a fifth-grade jam band that comes in second place in a grade-school talent show. And Andy was not shy about throwing Helen under the bus. He told McCrae and Amanda that Helen was sharpening her sword.
So Amanda sharpened hers instead. She sent McCrae and Andy to form a fake final-three alliance with Helen. McCrae told Helen everything she wanted to hear. "The way I see it is, Amanda will beat me," he lied. He sold her a story about making an anti-Amanda deal: Get to the Final Four, and then box her out. They called in Andy, who play-acted like this was the number-one idea ever. And Helen bought it all. "McCrae has finally woken up," she said. Helen is falling victim to the classic mistake that separates good politicians from great politicians: She's assuming that everyone is as smart and morally bankrupt as she is. (See also: Rahm Emanuel, saying what absolutely everyone is thinking but what nobody is ever supposed to say.) Helen doesn't like to make big game moves, but she loves to make secret alliances; the most pivotal move she made all summer was her devil's pact with Aaryn. (ASIDE: In hindsight, that may have been the most pivotal move of the summer, period: It kept Aaryn around long enough for everyone to forget why they hated her. Aaryn flat-out admitted last night that she has spent the past week staying off the radar, sleeping for thirteen hours a night; of course, when she says "Sleeping for thirteen hours a night," what she really means is "Kidnapping newborn babies and bringing them to my labyrinth, where they transform into goblins." END OF ASIDE.)
Amanda is smart, there's no denying it. She constructed an elaborate plan to let Helen win the Veto competition. They figured it would be the Stay/Fold Counting Competition, and Amanda told everyone in the house to let Helen win. And by everyone, I mean everyone except for Jessie. The Amanda/Helen coalition at this point is essentially the No Jessies Club. They felt so confident that they even told Spencer to throw the competition. Spencer nodded, "Sure sure, of course guys, I'll throw a competition while I'm on the block, that sounds like a swell idea." Privately, he seethed. Did they think he was a rube? He'd show them. He'd win the veto for sure.
NEXT: Spencer does not win the Veto for sure