Big Brother recap: Like I'm Looking Into Hell

The house goes supernova as Elissa plots vengeance and Amanda goes Full Villain. Plus: The Return of Zingbot!
Ep. 27 | Aired Aug 28, 2013

THE LAST OF THE GANG TO DIE Two months in and Elissa finally decided to play. Could it be too late? Or can she strike a killing blow against the Amanda brigade? Is she the hero we need, or the hero we deserve? In this Dark Knight metaphor, Amanda is the Joker, Andy is Two-Face, Helen is Rachel Dawes, Judd is Alfred, and GinaMarie is Burt Ward.

CBS

It's always fascinating to watch a bad player become a good player, and it's even more fascinating to watch a great player go mad with power. Last night's episode of Big Brother had both those things, and Zingbot too. Elissa has been shocked out of her sixty-day comatose reverie -- it's entirely possible that she didn't speak to anyone for the first two months besides Helen -- and is out for vengeance. Meanwhile, Amanda was shocked to find herself not in control of the game. The puppets were acting out. After the nominations, GinaMarie told Elissa she gave a good speech, and commented her dress. "I want to punch GM in the face so hard with brass knuckles," said Amanda.

I know a lot of people hate Amanda, but by god, it was wonderful to watch her last night. She has officially gone Full Villain. It's not just that she's doing everything she can to help her game; it's that she simply cannot understand why anyone would do anything to hurt her game. It is a complete lack of empathy: Her de facto position can be summed up as "Why aren't you doing everything I tell you to do?"

The rest of the house sees this. Aaryn, up on the block and explicitly the target, told GM that she couldn't see any way out. She could talk to Elissa, of course, but there was a problem: "When I talk to her, I feel like I'm looking into Hell." And that's not just hyperbole: After leading the revolution against Heaven alongside her concubine Lucifer, Aaryn spent several eons in Hell trapped in the fifth Malebolge, where she was taunted by the Malebranche demons, before she stole one of their demonic grappling hooks and climbed out of the underworld, a climb which took five centuries and left her as nothing but a powerless giant Eye, at which point she tried to reclaim the ten rings of power and kill every hobbit in Middle-Earth.

But GinaMarie told Aaryn that she needed to take stock of her alliance with Amanda. "McCrae and Amanda, they can't really win anything," GM explained. They were just using Aaryn as their Kamikaze Mega-Pawn. And it's true. Aaryn has lived for millions of years in the nightmares of little children and cute puppies, and she was the inspiration for the evil dolls in every movie about evil dolls, but she has been used as the blunt instrument for the McCramda alliance.

Fortune was with the Blonde One, though. By which I mean: Amanda was spiraling. She walked up to Elissa and said, "Hey, if Aaryn went off the block, who would you put up in my place?" Elissa was noncommittal. So Amanda got nervous. "Are you and GM working together?" she asked. Elissa, incredibly, remained noncommittal. Amanda, really nervous now, asked point-blank: "Would you put me up?" Elissa, privately, decided that that could actually be good idea.

So she got Judd on her side, and she talked to Aaryn. "Nobody would think we would work together," she said. Aaryn's face was covered in tears, and she looked like an old bruised warrior who lost all faith in her superior officers -- like she just wanted to trust someone again, if only for a little while. There's something that I usually forget about Aaryn, mostly because I get distracted by the screaming souls of her victims which appear in freezeframes if you pause whenever she blinks: She has lost more friends this season than anyone. Because beautiful idiots become fast friends, she was surrounded by people she liked by the end of the first week; by the end of the first month, most of those people were gone; at this point, the only person she can really trust is GinaMarie, who is actually a worth conversationalist than the talking gorilla in Congo. Basically, Aaryn started out as Audrey Hepburn at the end of My Fair Lady and has become Audrey Hepburn at the start of My Fair Lady -- from the belle of the ball to a sorrowful street urchin -- and all she has to look forward to is an afterlife in a Jury House filled with people she hates who hate her.

So they made a pact: Get Amanda Out. "We just have to make sure no one picks Amanda for the Veto Competition," said Elissa. "Everything will be fine so long as no one picks Amanda for the Veto Competition."

NEXT: Elissa picks Amanda for the Veto Competition

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