Big Brother season premiere recap: All-Ages Show

The season 10 premiere introduces us to a more diverse cast of total strangers, who start to strategize in very familiar ways
Ep. 01 | Aired Jul 13, 2008

CAST PARTY It's all fun until the games begin

The inaugural competition over, it was time for the first round of backroom strategizing, kicked off at 8:34 by the traditional first utterance of the phrase ''Game on!'' It was by Dan, who teamed with Brian in the usual ''bros before hos'' handsome-dude bonding. Dan brought in Ollie, saying, ''I saw the blacks in his eyes, and I knew he was good for his word.'' (Racist, or biologically accurate? Discuss!) Brian wants Jerry to think they're a team, but only until ''the ship starts to sink, then the rats are the first to bail.'' Odd that the Air Force guy would be so quick with a nautical metaphor, mangled or not.

Ultimately, whether through Brian's influence or not, Jerry selected Jessie and Renny as his nominees. Oh, wait, I haven't bothered to introduce Renny, have I? Renny looks like the '70s variety-show puppet Madame came to life, à la Pinocchio. Every time she sat down, I was shocked to see that it wasn't on Wayland Flowers' lap. She is clearly the sacrificial older crazy person, a bats--- contestant possibly put there as a decoy so the producers could keep Jerry around a little longer.

Renny fancies herself a party girl, but at age 53 she looks more like an extra from the movie Barfly. Every one of her sentences sounds like it should be followed by a deep drag on a cigarette and a drunken lunge to grab a young, scared boy's ass. Everyone seemed to get tired of her pretty quickly, thanks to her odd choice to turn on the lights in the middle of the night and wheeze like a broken radiator when it was revealed that she was only locked into the room because she was pushing the door instead of pulling. I can imagine how jarring that must have been for everyone she woke up; hearing the crazed cackles of an older woman in satin PJs talking about how she has to ''put her face on,'' they must have thought the BB house was being haunted by the ghost of Ethel Mertz.

Jessie (who seems to inflate another few psi every minute he's on this show) needs his beauty sleep; if you saw his involuntarily twitching pecs at work, you know how exhausting that can be at the end of the day. He was not amused by Renny's antics and told her so, to which she replied, ''Lighten up,'' and ''I'd be embarrassed if he was my son.'' (Does someone want to check in with her son right about now to discuss the concept of embarrassment?) Renny and Jessie's squabbling gave Jerry an easy two to put up on the block without pissing anyone off. I think it'll be Renny who goes, although the Brian-Dan-Ollie alliance could orchestrate a putsch to dump their manly competition, Jessie. Consider me intrigued. And then, when I remember the words ''I'm Natalie, and I'm into bikinis, coffee, and God!'' I get much, much more intrigued by comparison. See you on Thursday for the post-eviction wrap-up.

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