Big Brother recap: The End of the Affair

Two lovers face off in an epic battle for survival. Whoever wins, they both lose.
Ep. 30 | Aired Sep 4, 2013

TOP CHICKEN Judd, Spencer, Andy, and GinaMarie are in an alliance that could make it to the Final Four. They have about two brain cells between them, and they both belong to Andy. But boy, it's hard not to like Judd. I hope when he wins Big Brother they rename his town Juddtownville, and I hope he becomes the mayor, and I hope when the apocalypse comes he becomes one of those guys who carries a sword everywhere he goes. Also, I hope it's the kind of apocalypse that creates mutant animals, so he can ride on a giant sabre-toothed frog named Jeffy.


It was time for the Veto Competition to end all Veto Competitions. It was a ballet-bowling mash-up, with the players all dressed in tutus; they had to spin around fifteen times and then knock down four bowling pins, with a gate coming up after fifteen seconds requiring them to spin again. Amanda was fighting for her life; she defeated Elissa very quickly and then vomited into a bucket. Andy stood up and -- on orders from GinaMarie -- declared that he would take on Amanda, too. Amanda was furious and confused: Why had Andy chosen her, nominally an alliance-mate? Andy had a plan, of course: He was going to throw the competition, therefore satisfying both GM and Amanda.

Andy has one of the worst pokerbodies in the history of competition-throwing: He went hilariously slow and let Amanda easily defeat him. Nobody in the Exterminators noticed, because -- well, the great thing about the Exterminators is that they're not very smart. They're really the Meatshield Alliance: A team of second bananas, united by A) their mutual dislike of McCramda, and B) the fact that McCramda kicked out all of the real power players before the endgame.

GinaMarie stood up, challenged Amanda -- the third round for the besieged Empress. And Amanda won again. It wasn't even a contest, really. Amanda seemed to be the only person who had ever bowled before; heck, she seemed to be the only player who had ever conceived the idea that a ball could be rolled straight instead of haphazardly thrown. McCrae stood up, challenged Spencer, and beat him. So it came down to McCrae vs. Amanda, Lover vs. Lover, the two most devoted allies in the Big Brother house forced to duel to the death like a couple of players who beat the final boss in old-school Double Dragon.

Amanda and McCrae wouldn't give up the fight. They were all alone out there, together. The rest of the house watched in awe; you could almost believe that they planned it, that after all these weeks of watching McCramda utterly dominate the house, they knew that the only people who could take down Amanda and McCrae were McCrae and Amanda. It was a nail-biter. It came down to one pin, one second...and McCrae was the winner. He stumbled away from the field of battle and fell over and vomited into a bucket, while Amanda lay down on the ground and stared up into the empty sky. Neither of them said anything to each other, and their fellow housemates -- their enemies -- were stunned into silence.

It was the kind of battle that left both gladiators brutalized. Amanda knew her time in the Big Brother house was over. McCrae knew that he had delivered the killing blow to his lover's game. Upstairs, GinaMarie laughed with her fellow Exterminators. One of them would have to step up; she couldn't just nominate Elissa, because she still owed Elissa from last week. She told the boys to do rock-paper-scissors. (Ultimately, she wound up choosing Spencer, who now goes into the Big Brother record books with seven times on the block this season. And he's probably not finished on the block, either. Poor Spencer: History will remember him as the player who somehow managed to be everyone's pawn.)

Amanda gave a nice speech at the veto meeting, saying that she was glad to lose the veto to her One True Person, and she said: "I would never ask, nor expect, nor want you to use the veto on me." McCrae responded: "I'm using the veto on myself." And that was that: The end of Amanda. She seems resigned to her fate -- I suspect that, in her heart of hearts, she knows that she's made herself a toxic personality, that she has no chance of turning the votes in her direction. Of course, tomorrow night is a Double Eviction, which means that Amanda's exit could lead right into McCrae's vengeance... or it could mean that the Exterminators will complete their takeover of the house, sending McCrae out the door right after Amanda.

Fellow viewers, what did you think of the showdown between this season's showmance? Are you happy to see Amanda go? She was an incredibly powerful player and a fascinating personality; I'm not sure anyone left in the house is as flat-out interesting as she is. Still, give credit where credit is due: I had written off GinaMarie weeks ago, but she's coming into the final leg of gameplay having pulled one of the biggest power moves of the season. Can GinaMarie actually win this thing? Can McCrae stage a comeback? Judd?

Follow Darren on Twitter: @DarrenFranich

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