'Big Brother' recap: Crying All The Way To The Bank

On Thursday night, I sat glued to my television after watching Jordan walk out the Big Brother door. What will happen next? What would a Jordan-less house be like? Who will win the next Head of Household? I needed to know! But wait -- what is this? Breaking News? Cutting into my Big Brother? What's that? You say two terror plots might threaten New York City, my home, this weekend? Oh, wow! There are worse things than the idea Adam winning season 13 of Big Brother! Way to make me put things in perspective, TV.

So I bring this up only to introduce my next point, fellow Big Brother fans. Perhaps my mind is all mixed up with thoughts of my possible demise this weekend, but I can't help it: I think Rachel should win this season of Big Brother. In fact, I think she will win Big Brother this season. Porsche, the victor of the most powerful of the Power of Veto competitions, all but sealed it. Now, I don't disagree that Jordan needed to leave before the final two. But had Porsche sent Rachel packing, she would have almost guaranteed a Head of Household win, since Jordan only comes to competitions armed with cute tank tops and Adam can't win anything when distracted by Beggin' Strips. But, instead, opting to vote out Jordan, she kept a viable competitor in the house who also happens to be smart enough to know she'd win in a landslide stacked up against who could just be the worst player in Big Brother history. (You may now hand over your trophy, season 10's terrible, terrible old man Jerry.) So Porsche's only chance to win a half million dollars? Winning this final, three-part Head of Household, and choosing to take Adam to the end, when he'll likely do nothing.

NEXT: The real loser in this game is bacon.