'Bachelor Pad' recap: I Want to Punch Gia in the Face

With the power suddenly back in the hands of the ''cool kids,'' Jessie decides to secure her safety in both camps by whispering in Dave's ear about the two alliances and how the men should keep her around because she has ''insider information.'' Little do they know that Krisily is eavesdropping on their hot tub meeting, and she wastes no time spreading the word that Jessie S. is ''a snake.'' The action then segues clumsily to Tattoo Jesse, who has fallen prey to Gia's feminine wiles and needs an excuse to nip his nascent showmance with Natalie in the bud. His solution? Politely inform her that he doesn't like sluts. Jesse meekly confronts Natalie about rumors that she's ''made the rounds'' with the bachelors, leaving the beleaguered blonde in tears. Gia, meanwhile, feels confident that she's righted her rose wrong by convincing Gwen, Peyton, Krisily, and Nikki to vote Kiptyn off — even if the five remaining cool girls vote for McAngry, she breaks the tie and Kipper goes home. It's a good plan, but there's another way she could have kept Craig safe: BY GIVING HIM THE ROSE IN THE FIRST PLACE. Grrrrrr.

Harrison walks in wearing a purple polka-dotted tie that is truly ridiculous yet somehow works on him. Within seconds, he manages to crank the tension in the room up to 11 by asking Elizabeth about her ''relationship'' with Kovacs. ''I don't think that mine is any different than Tenley and Kiptyn's...'' begins blondie, prompting Rainbow Brite to offer a helium-voiced protest: ''Well, there might be physical differences.'' Then she starts crying, because her heart has an ouchie. This devolves into a cathartic discussion of how ''ugly'' the game has already gotten and how much ''bulls---'' is going on. In other words, everyone in the room suddenly realizes they are on a reality TV show. Voting finally begins, and McAngry's chances are not looking good — Tenley, Natalie (and the pink tutu she may or may not have stolen from a 5-year-old girl), Elizabeth, and Ashley put his picture in the box. Poor Jessie is shocked — shocked — to discover that the cool kids think she's playing both sides, having apparently forgotten the moment earlier in the evening when she told Dave she was playing both sides. To prove her loyalty to the insiders, she reluctantly votes McAngry out, too. The outside girls are all voting for Kiptyn...or are they? Short answer: No. Nikki breaks her word and votes for McAngry, sending him home along with the duplicitous Jessie. So the cool kids win again, just like in life. And it's all thanks to Gia, the swimsuit model who claims bullies used to steal her shoes back in high school. Oh, girl, they can take your shoes...just don't let them take what's left of your dignity.

I will miss McAngry's hair, and his Miami Vice style. I won't really miss Jessie, but I'm sure producers will invite her back for Bachelor Pad 2. What about you, rose lovers? Did Gia's giant mistake make you as angry as it made me? If so, how are you channeling that anger? (I could use some tips.) When you're done posting in the comments section, be sure to check out Chris Harrison's exclusive Bachelor Pad blog over in PopWatch. Until then, just know that I'm crazy about you. In fact, I love you.

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