Bachelor in Paradise recap: Candid camera

AshLee learns the hard way that there is absolutely no privacy in Paradise—and her harsh comments lead to a diva-on-diva showdown with Clare.
Ep. 04 | Aired Aug 25, 2014

THE EGOS HAVE LANDED AshLee and Kalon enjoy a meeting of the totally-self-absorbed minds.

Panicked, AshLee lets it slip to Lacy that she may have said some unkind things about Clare to Zach. Or maybe, as Lacy suggests, she just has a "guilty conscious." (To quote one of my favorite bad movies of all time, "Is it possible for you to be any dumber?") "When the camera's on her, she's a completely different person than what she is off camera," reports Lacy, to the surprise of absolutely no one watching. "It's about time that AshLee got caught." And Lacy's going to make damn sure that happens: She immediately hustles to the bathroom and frantically whisper-relates the whole exchange to Clare… who then runs off and whisper-vents her anger about AshLee's comments to Michelle… who then sums the whole thing up beautifully for us: "AshLee knows that Clare knows, and Clare knows that AshLee knows that Clare knows. So a storm's a-brewin'."

Though she grabs some knives (or skewers?) before the commercial break, the next time we see Clare, she's not stabbing AshLee in the eyeball—instead, she's chewing Zach out for not telling her about what AshLee said. Another classic lose-lose situation, brought to you by Team BiP! (Kudos, guys.) "I didn't come here to get involved in, like, girls fighting about this stuff," says Zach glumly. Yeah, he and the other guys would rather just watch as Clare and AshLee tear each other's hair out (preferably in a kiddie pool filled with Jell-o), but they're going to have to settle for a tense tête-à-tête on the beach.

"If I hurt your feelings, I want to make it right, because I care," begins AshLee sweetly. "I was just repeating… what I saw on the show." Yeah, no one is buying it, honey—most of all Clare. "That was the last thing I would ever expect from a classy woman, to say something like that. It was tacky and tasteless," she huffs. After refusing AshLee's offer to "hug it out," Clare stomps away.

Oh look—someone let Kalon out of the cave in time for the rose ceremony. (How does someone get so sunburned while spelunking?) Anyhow, let's check in on our leaderboard:

AshLee & Graham
Marcus & Lacy
Clare & Zach
Sarah & Robert

Free agents:

Cody makes a predictably ham-handed play for Michelle—"I think you and I have a better connection than I would with Clare"—and yet, she LOVES it. "Cody came here and swept me off my feet," she sighs happily. They make out. (ABC should rename this show Whatever's Left Island.) Having found a "connection" for the evening, Michelle decides to destroy what's left of AshLee's hold on Graham. So she pulls him aside and gives him the full report about Ocean-gate, or Camera-gate, or whatever we want to call it. "It's disturbing and difficult to stomach," groans Graham, who is doubtless wishing he had listened to the Warning! Warning! AshLee's a psycho! alarm that's been going off in his brain since he arrived in Tulum.

NEXT: Clink clink clink!

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