Speaking of assumptions, Graham is beginning to chafe against AshLee's obsession of their relationship. "AshLee's talking about stuff that I don't think is very appropriate right now, like meeting her dad and stuff," laments Graham to Michelle. "She's way, way, way ahead of where I'm at!" (Cut to AshLee telling Danielle that she and Graham would definitely "have hot babies." Yikes.)
In case you were wondering, Marcus and Lacy's ill-advised rebound relationship is still going on. Today, they practiced doing the lift.
After deciding that he and Jackie have "amazing" chemistry, Marquel tells her that their trip to the ruins has been "my best date so far." (Question: Is there really nothing else to do in Mexico but visit ruins, or is Team BiP just really cheap?) Then Marquel announces to Jackie that he doesn't kiss on the first date, except this time. "If you're feelin' it, go too—if not, pull back," he adds. Oh, you're offering her a choice in the matter? How kind of you, sir. Too bad Chris B. doesn't have such an accommodating companion. "Chris is my man now—forever," insists Elise, after she and her limping stud muffin return from their overnight date (and a quick trip to the hospital). In what is perhaps Chris' worst nightmare, he literally cannot get away from the chick he slept with the night before, because he is bedridden with all sorts of sprained and torn thingamabobs in his knee.
Sarah tries to advise Elise to proceed with caution, and when the gentle approach doesn't work, she begins straight-up haranguing her. "For you to say 'I'm not worried about getting hurt' is like, it blows my f---in' mind," she tells Elise. "Like, are you kidding? Because you were so hurt and you were so heartbroken [over Dylan]... Don't rush to anything."
We interrupt this straight talk to bring you the latest episode of Clare Interprets Something Random as a Sign Her Dad Is Communicating with Her from Beyond the Grave. Feeling understandably blue about the upcoming 10th anniversary of her dad's death, Clare sheds some tears on the beach as Zach comforts her kindly. Then a pregnant turtle walks by, and all emotional hell breaks loose. "The tuurr-tle!" Clare moans happily. "I believe in little signs from heaven, and this turtle rollin' up in here giving birth on the beach to all its little eggs, like, was such a sign of new life. So I thought that was a sign that my dad was with me, and he's telling me there's something new here for me." Rationalization—it's not just for breakfast anymore!
If you're not too busy, Clare's dad, could you also send a pack of wild dogs in heat to warn Graham away from AshLee? Actually, never mind—AshLee's doing a perfectly good job scaring him off by herself. Over dinner, she tells Graham that her "heart was set" on him being there, so naturally he asks the next logical question: "Why? We had never met before." Well, Graham, perhaps this promo for the new CBS drama Stalker will help you understand. "I follow your instagram," AshLee explains calmly, not noticing the holy s---!, Wile E. Coyote-about-to-fall-to-his-death face Graham makes in response. Don't worry—AshLee isn't crazy, she's just "semi-obsessed" with you. "AshLee's not playin'," concedes Graham after the duo share their first kiss. "But I think it's pretty appropriate that we don't spend the night together." Good luck with that, pal.
NEXT: "They've known each other for three days!"