America's Next Top Model
Image credit: <p>Jim DeYonker</p>
BEFORE THE FALL Heather was fierce in the music video, and then fainted from lack of food.
Indeed, Saleisha proved downright fearsome with the head-to-toe ogling she gave Enrique; this, naturally, didn't stop Tyra from expressing her surprise that the bubbly girl next door pulled it off. (Prediction: When Saleisha ultimately winds up in fourth or fifth place, this supposed lack of ''edginess'' will be referenced as a major reason for her downfall.) Lisa, for her part, immediately impressed the casting directors — perhaps because her height doesn't allow them to soak up the true awfulness of what Ken Paves did to her hair — and made sassy use of her long legs when stopping Enrique with the classic gam-as-roadblock kick. (Twiggy, almost silent this week, called the performance ''brave.'' Why?)
Brave would not be a word I'd use to describe Bianca. I can think of another word that begins with the letter B, but do I really need to spell it out for you? Wouldn't it be beneath me to give in to the itch? Suffice to say that Bianca's initial reaction to Heather's collapse was to declare the entire Top Modelexperience as ''too much for her.''
Jenah, meanwhile, indulged in a little too much grinning for a show that prefers its models to adopt an air of stony seriousness. And while I'd contend that lady vampires might indeed smile seductively in an effort to seduce an ''international recording star,'' Jenah's reaction to the judges' harsh words prompted Tyra's best zinger of the week: ''You look more like a vampire right now than you did in that scene, like 'cause you're somber, and there's like a certain sadness because you're not getting a good critique.'' Looks like someone had better learn the proper etiquette for flashing her chompers — 'cause once Tyra grabs hold of your Achilles' heel, we all know she doesn't like to let go.
Speaking of things that are hard to let go of, how hideous were the beige leotards Tyra passed out to the girls this week? And do you think they were handpicked solely to make our better-dressed host look sexy and graceful by comparison? How amusing was Nigel's ''English ghetto'' grammatical slipup this week? And finally, am I the only one who looked for George Michael's ''Too Funky'' video on YouTube after tonight's episode?
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