Awww. No offense to high school volleyball player Shannon Magrane (I totally just teared up watching her famous baseball dad's proud-papa reaction to her highlight reel), but I'm glad someone went home last night. After Top 12 contestant Jermaine Jones was disqualified on Wednesday, I thought the whole week might be a wash.
Elise Testone and Erika Van Pelt joined Shannon in the bottom three, so they all sat glowering like three icky girls that the stupid, stupid little boys refused to pick for their kickball teams at recess. Don't they know how well those girls can wail? That was a really poor analogy, though, because 1) kickball and recess are pointless, unlike American Idol which is EVERYTHING, and 2) it's likely the female vote that landed three ladies on the stools of doom in the first place. Please start voting for your sisters, sisters! I know we all have a lot of texting to do, but you can find time to dial in for DeAndre's hair and Elise Testone within the same hour, I promise. Try it!
Randy dismissed Shannon immediately following her "sing for your life" rehash of "One Sweet Day" by Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men, but earlier in the episode Ryan Seacrest confirmed that the judges will get to use a "save" in this season's horse race. Any time from now until the Top 5, our steamy Neighwatch lifeguards Randy, J. Lo, and Steven can rescue a contestant from the big bad sea of possible elimination.
Remember last year, when the judges used their season 10 save on Casey Abrams two weeks before presumed frontrunner Pia Toscano was eliminated? I can see them holding out on this year's get-out-of-jail-free card unless Jessica Sanchez is in danger.
I can also see Seacrest instituting a "Ryan's Save" out of nowhere so that he could keep his favorite pretty pony Colton Dixon around. God forbid.
Oh, how Ryan teases his pretty pony! His attempts to fool Colton into thinking he's in the bottom three have been hilariously bad for three weeks running. This time, Ryan tried to blame Colton's obscure song choice from Wednesday's performance show. "Unfortunately, my man, that has cost you…........ being away from your family this summer, 'cause you're going on the tour!" Don't ever stop, Ryan. Keep on letting those crawfishy creative juices fly.
NEXT: Daughtry, Demi Lovato, and a haunted house