American Idol recap: 'Stop the Bleeding'

Auditions continue in Austin and San Francisco, "Harsh Harry" diva-snaps his way into our hearts
Ep. 02 | Aired Jan 16, 2014

LIKE A GOOD NEIGHBOR Jesse Roach was there.

Fox

Briana Oakley, 17: Another returning contestant! Remember her from Hollywood Week last season? I could not stop staring at Briana's yellow candy tongue during her cover of Sara Bareilles' "Stay," but I did hear J. Lo mutter "Jordin Sparks" in the face of such a clear-toned, powerful youth. "What I liked is that you're proud to sing," said Harry. "You opened your mouth." That would definitely help.

I also kind of liked androgynous "Hakuna Matata" tee-wearer M.K. Nobillette, wild-haired Remi Wolf, 17, whom Keith called "a primitive talent," and Sacramento student Aranesa Turner, mostly for her Willy Wonka song choice, "Pure Imagination."

So many short-as-Seacrest "yes" auditions flew by -- I'm not complaining; it's great to hear even a snippet, but there's just not enough to critique.

Screen Shot 2014-01-16 at 8.37.53 PM

I am gonna have a LOT of fun screen grabbing oil field worker Eric Wood's face if he makes it to the live shows. "Oil worker!" exclaims J. Lo. She's never heard of such a thing. "How much do you like working on the oil rigs?" Keith Urban drilled Eric. The "Simple Man" singer sure doesn't wanna do it forever.

Screen Shot 2014-01-16 at 8.37.06 PM

He's got Ryan Gosling eyes (Ryan Clark, 22).

Season 1 third place finisher Nikki McKibbin has a 15-year-old son, Tristen Langley:

Screen Shot 2014-01-16 at 8.36.18 PM

I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS. #GettingOld #ThisIsReal #IdolJourneyToSorrow

We did see a few "joke" contestants tonight, the most cringe-worthy of whom, for me, was tantrum-throwing man child Ronald Reed. "I have something that the world honestly needs to hear," he insisted.

Screen Shot 2014-01-16 at 8.37.40 PM

Nope. The word "honestly" was the tell. Only liars use it! I found that out by reading my own Twitter feed.

I liked how this kid's family member (uncle or dad) lingered with Ryan after Ronald crumpled into a dramatic heap on the floor. Well, "that's character," the dad says. "That's character-building," Ryan corrects him, referring to the valuable experience of rejection. "That's right," Dad admits. He gets it!

Greasy, Aggressive Cowboy got old real fast, and it's too bad Low Weight, High Reps couldn't sing a lick. Meanwhile, I still thought Bare Feet, That's All I See was a joke even as he started composin' "Hallelujah. The judges agreed that Adam Roth's "schizophrenic" rendition sounded forced. Then J. Lo gave him a yes and the sound healer threw Keith Urban into a trance until he offered him a golden ticket. Whatever. All I ask is that he wear shoes in Hollywood. Especially if he walks there, collecting sounds along the way. #IdolJourneyToThirdDegreeBurns

Random Pause of the Night

Screen Shot 2014-01-16 at 10.33.30 PM

How do you not love this? Pure Idol magic.

Now here it is: Your moment of zen.

Screen Shot 2014-01-16 at 8.37.25 PM

Did anyone sound-heal you tonight, Idol lovers? Discuss!

Latest Videos in TV

Advertisement

From Our Partners