American Idol recap: You Should Have Listened

The guys mostly underwhelm; Nicki Minaj becomes obsessed with three of them anyway
Ep. 12 | Aired Feb 21, 2013

'LISTEN, I'M SINGING IN SPANISH' --Devin Velez

Michael Becker/Fox

Kevin Harris -- Pardon me, who?! Like last night's Jenny Beth Willis, here was someone we'd never seen before, I'm pretty sure, who was pure cannon fodder. A shame, because he had cool dreads and a cute attitude (he's doing this for his young sons!). It was also a shame that his "(Everything I Do) I Do It For You" cover was so embarrassingly off-key. There's no way this is one of the Top 20 male voices who showed up out of thousands to audition, right? I mean, jeez, Idol, we get it about the lady winner. But pretending some of these guys were really the cream of the male crop is just absurd.

Chris Watson -- Whoa. Terrible. No one should be allowed to sing "Sitting on the Dock of the Bay" cloaked in sparkle-studded pants, vest, and what I'm sure Curtis considers his signature head scarf. The "prettiest man" Nicki Minaj has seen in her life would look so much better in a faded tee and jeans. He never had a chance in that getup. The audience absolutely could not care less that he was even onstage; in fact, they were probably trying to avoid eye contact. Oh, and his voice sucked.

Jimmy Smith -- You could argue that vocally Jimmy deserved to move on after his modest but lovely "Raining on Sunday" cover. But there's a difference between not screwing up and making an actual impact. Compared to the over-the-top Vegas circus shows, he just didn't stand out. But this is exactly the type of pleasantly bland contestant who typically gets through and sticks around way longer than expected -- like Casey James, for example, or Tim Urban. They wanted to get rid of him before the country singer had the chance to infect the nation with his luscious curls and easygoing smile.

*

MOVING ON

Paul Jolley -- The whole time he was singing, I couldn't tell if Paul's cover of "Tonight I Want to Cry" was really thoughtful or really boring. It was one of the simplest performances we've seen -- spotlights from the back, and Paul barely moved around. It was nice. That's about it. He's just flavorless enough to maybe not pose too much of a threat to the ladies. I definitely didn't see what a very flattered Keith Urban (watch, now all of his tunes will get covered, and some twice) meant by repeated references to Paul's "power," but I might have been caught up in my quandary about whether or not he legitimately reminds me of Adam Levine, in the face. (Who cares?)

NEXT: He's like Justin Bieber, but Chinese-Mexican and can't hit a high note

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