'American Idol' recap: King, Pinned

It was "the Carole King songbook" night on American Idol, and the utter inanity of Randy Jackson has nearly struck me dead. Ah, the Rananity! Clearly, this sad excuse for an introductory paragraph is not "in it to win it, nor is it "trying to win it," "here because it's a great singer," or -- least of all -- "a hot one." So what good is it? Let's gets to this week's solos!

Randy had advised Jacob Lusk to soar and riff and just go off, but guest mentor Babyface (well helloooooo there, Mr. face) quickly put the kibosh on that idea with a resounding yet soft-spoken "Noooooo....." as soon as Jacob started singing during rehearsal. "Whoa, that ain't it," he continued, and it was at this point that I decided I liked Babyface. After Jacob writhed around in agony on the floor and Jimmy foreshadowed his doom by saying Jacob was probably "the most in trouble," the Lusky Stank and his terrible blue plaid jacket trotted onto the stage with the upbeat “Oh No Not My Baby."

To be fair, I loved everything about Jacob's outfit except the jacket (especially the yellow sneakers), but that's like saying I loved everything about Jacob's performance except for the long stretches where it just didn't sound like he knew how to sing. The scatting, dancing with himself, and powerful high note were fun, but like an overwhelming plaid jacket, the rest of the song did unfortunately have to count.

My favorite part was when Jacob finished with a dramatic "waiter hand" (imagine it supporting a large tray). Huzzah! Dinner is served. "It's about time you shook your tail feathers. That character, the dancing is what we're looking for," said Steven, totally missing the point.

Ryan fixed Jacob's bowtie, because he felt left out.

NEXT: Does Lauren Alaina even know that dude? 

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