'American Idol' recap: Movie Wailers

This week, American Idol was all about variety. Remember, everyone: "We could have a country Idol; we could have a pop Idol; we could have whatever," said The Most Beautiful Girl in the World. In other words, a country or pop Idol would be great. Vote now!

The judges continued to over-praise the kiddos on Movie Night, departing from protocol just once to tell Haley Reinhart she gave off a karaoke vibe. J. Lo quickly washed away this aberration with the loofah on her dress, and all was forgotten. Meanwhile, she and Randy Jackson showed more disdain for the Idol viewing public than ever before. I'm sick of this show pretending it's doing us this huge educational favor -- as if watching eight people doing cover songs is Randy's way of personally bestowing upon us, the unwashed masses of America, the precious gift of musical enlightenment. Dude. Yo. Randy. I know how to go to a music store. There's one on my computer already -- I don't even have to move!

I know, I know, it's not about the judges. (Except when it is.) Let's get to this week's performances.

Paul McDonald, repping "NashVegas," went with Bob Seger’s "Old Time Rock and Roll" from Risky Business. Jimmy Iovine wanted to see Paul's underwear, but his BFF will.i.am.still.here did not. It was a real clash of the titans. (Movie night!) Speaking of underwear, are Jimmy and Will a package deal now? I think Jimmy probably realized he needed a cartoonish sidekick to sit next to him and just glare at people and rattle off all of the different foods that he knows. Jimmy is hard to digest on his own, so now that I'm used to this new setup, it's fine with me. (well.i.am.converted.) If Will wanted to go ahead and replace Randy, I'd also be fine with that. "America, you just witnessed the first number at the Paul McDonald concert," raved Randy after Paul finished wobbling around the Idoldome -- even though Paul had previously said he wanted to treat every song "like it's my encore to a show." Good on you, Randy. Good on you! The most notable thing about Paul's performance was that he dared to walk his imaginary pet turtle right past the judges. What if it had hit Randy? Maybe it did.

NEXT: Lauren Alaina, Stefano Langone, and Stefano Langone's adorable dad

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