Goodbye, Curtis Finch, Jr. Life is nothing but an awful song and your over-singing got you eliminated from American Idol. That was the right choice. Well done, nation! But what's this? Numbers? Percentages? A leaderboard?! Borrowing a sheet from Simon Cowell's "I just don't give a s--- anymore" notepad, the Idol producers have decided to destroy suspense throughout the season by announcing the contestants' rankings after the vote.
I can't decide if the rank-reveal is a good thing. From a viewer's perspective, I sort of like it -- watching the contestants recognize themselves in the Enormous Oval and then try (unsuccessfully) to contain their glee out of politeness to the others was fun, at least this one time. But as a recapper who doesn't want the show to keep flailing in the ratings, I wonder if the lack of mystery on results night will be a bigger prick in the balloon of general Idol intrigue than a three-minute commercial for The Croods disguised as a weakly auto-tuned group singalong.
On that high note (watch out, I've got the runs!) -- here's the leaderboard.
Top Three (in no particular order): Angie Miller, Kree Harrison, Candice Glover
4th place: Lazaro Arbos
5th place: Amber Holcomb
6th place: Janelle Arthur
7th place: Burnell Taylor
8th place: Paul Jolley
9th place: Devin Velez
The judges will indeed get one save this season, and it has to be unanimous. Tonight, Nicki Minaj threatened to stomp away from the judges' table FOR GOOD in protest of Curtis having to sing his survival song, "I Believe I Can Fly." (It was pitchy, Dawg!) She later complained to Ryan Seacrest, "I think we really needed an extra minute to discuss it." First of all, no. It's very clear those judges were very intently ignoring Curtis' vocal antics and continuing their profound discussion of buttered, syrupy waffles from Wednesday night. Secondly, I think Nicki should have been DQ'ed from any Curtis discussion considering she hadn't even been around to hear Prince Paisley sing!
So no save for Curtis. Nicki reluctantly remains. The things she suffers for that eight-figure check!
NEXT: Aubrey Cleland vs. Charlie Askew