Well, that was a rather staid auditions hour. One and done! I always go into these episodes assuming we're in for all sorts of colorful, crazy, time-wasting crap, but I think the wackiest part of this one was Steven Tyler proudly displaying his "secret red box" (not a euphemism, surprisingly) and GIANT plate of fruit.
I also loved when Steven treated the kids to a singalong of "Pink" as Jennifer Lopez sauntered in late, ready for some play, wearing her own glorious abs as a belt. Where can I buy a belt like J. Lo's abs? Let me know if you have ideas.
Heejun Han, 22, set the tone for the episode. If anyone was going to be a trainwreck, it might be him -- swanning around backstage as if in a daze, claiming "Now I'm thinking I'm not good at all," marveling at Ryan Seacrest's fist-sized face but then shying away from a side-by-side comparison because "I don't think so, it's just too much." I very much enjoyed the Korean nonprofit organizer from Queens' perspective and laid-back energy, and the fact that he delivered a convincing rendition of a Michael Bolton classic makes him one of my early faves.
Reed Grimm, 26, may have a more populist bent. He showed up in Pittsburgh fresh off the beach and launched right into a unique take on...the Family Matters theme song. Genius. Ooh. Now do Full House! Step by Step! Newhart! As J. Lo said, the mark of a great performer is that you never know which [TV theme] they're gonna do. Reed is so handsome and universally appealing that she had to resort to pounding the table like a toddler who cannot yet speak and wants more birthday cake in order to get the fellas to help her vote Reed through.
Aaron Marcellus and Chase Likens got a quick "Now you see 'em..." edit. Aaron earned a "YO! You can sing." from you know who for his "A Change Is Gonna Come," and Chase has some of the longest eyelashes I've seen on a man. Both seem promising. Then out fluttered a steady stream of golden ticket holders. It was the Flashdance of the century. (38 made it through in Pittsburgh.)
NEXT: Plank you vedy much