'American Idol' recap: Tail of Tears

James Durbin may not have been vocally consistent as of late, but I don't think many American Idol fans expected season 10's only tailed creature to head home on last night's Final Four results show. I didn't. The PopWatchers didn't. Certainly J. Lo didn't, her glossy pink, puffer fish lips wiggling gently in stunned silence. And the Durbs himself definitely didn't fancy himself a loser. "God," said James in disbelief, "I did so much stuff that's never been done on this show before. In my eyes, in my mind, I did what I came here to do. Gave metal a chance."

Oh, man, what a night. Everyone was upset.

Well, almost everyone.

No matter what you thought of James' talent, the fact is it was fun/funny to see someone commit so fully to his blown-out-the-box performances. The Durbs always got so into it, even when he faltered, and I love him for that. As far as acting out the role of a karaoke-competition contestant in it to win it goes, James did very well. He really nailed that character.

I like my reality TV stars to be as desperate as possible — can you tell? Now we're left with the bold and beleaguered (Haley), the one-trick pony (Scotty), and the giggly scaredy-cat (Lauren). Not the most gumption-y of crowds. One of these beasts will need to ratchet up the emo to keep me on the edge of my seat AND IN IT TO WIN IT AS A VIEWER!

NEXT: "SIT TIGHT. DON'T MISS THIS HUGE. IDOL. MOMENT."

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