American Idol recap: Talk to the Inked-Up Hand

The manicured claws come out in another round of dramatic bitchery and forgotten lyrics
Ep. 09 | Aired Feb 13, 2013

SAY IT WITH GLOWERS Zoanette Johnson's attitude desperately needed to catch up with her necklace.

Fox

I didn't really like anyone from Urban Hue -- Jett Hermano, Seretha Guinn, Tenna Torres, and Kiara Lanier on "American Boy" were mostly a mess. Tenna, named "the one everyone's going to remember" by Nicki, sounded like she was in physical pain. Only Seretha (mom of London; boyfriend in an accident, you remember) had to go home because she had "no star power" according to Nicki. What she did have was a lovely attitude upon her exit and some very intricate, self-styled highlights.

Zoanette Johnson is a huge, "really really over-passionate" drama queen -- except when she's typing on her phone and blatantly ignoring musical director Michael Orlean.

Screen Shot 2013-02-13 at 7.12.32 PM

ARE YOU KIDDING? STOP TEXTING.

He was not havin' it with her. But somehow Zoanette's group, Two Snaps, pulled it together for "Knock on Wood" and only Lauren Bettes was sent home. Zoanette, Erin Christine, and Isabelle (one name, bitches!) -- all get to stay for the solos. In a group setting, Z-funk was completely over-the-top and too loud, but I'm going to withhold judgement until I see her solo. It would not be the first time crazy has won me over on American Idol. Like, she's a train wreck, but I might be on board. Duh, I'm still watching.

All aboard another "Somebody That I Used to Know" disaster! Shira Gavrielov, Alisha Dixon, Liz Bills, and Courtney Calle bungled the song and only Liz -- the hippie chick (bare feet onstage, gross) who intentionally separated herself from the group both mentally and physically -- gets to move on. I thought Courtney was the best of this bunch and the cutest/friendliest, too, but I guess they are casting for drama and already had enough hot and bubbly females. Shira, who was terrible, wandered back onstage to grovel and they were like GIRL. Absolutely not.

NEXT: WHY DOESN'T ANYONE KNOW ANY SONGS?


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