American Idol recap: Tank you, tank you very much

With no save and no where to hide, another one bites the dust.
Ep. 26 | Aired Apr 10, 2014

Every rose has its thorn, and after a night of going back to the '80s, it was a prickly goodbye for one more finalist. The save was wasted used last week by the judges for Sam, so America's super-voting had all the say.

With only eight finalists left, there was only a bottom two tonight. Not really sure why -- seems a little early for that still in my mind, plus there was no special guest performer so there was a lot of time to fill, and filling one more stool could have done that. Duet partners last night Malaya Watson and C.J. Harris were paired once again with the lowest number of votes, and it was Malaya, the spunky 16-year-old marching band girl, eliminated.

I'm a little upset about Malaya being voted off, but not really surprised. Of all the songs in the entire '80s catalog (or at least approved by Fox), she just didn't pick the right song at all with Chaka Kahn's "Through the Fire." I will say her final performance of "I am Changing" from Dreamgirls was really powerful and emotional, though I was a little distracted by the contrast of her denim shorts and Cosby sweater, not to mention the tears streaming down her face and fogging up her glasses. It's at this point you are reminded that she is still just a 16-year-old girl.

Thank GOD we finally got to see what the judges looked like back in the '80s. I especially loved Keith's belt buckle with a kangaroo to "remind you where I'm from" (because your accent and beautiful relationship with Nicole Kidman isn't enough?). J. Lo nearly stopped the show before it began just by walking out on stage in a low-cut white tank top that got the crowd's attention ("It's not just a tank top" -- seriously, Ryan, why do you know so much about women's fashion? Julianne Hough couldn't have taught you that much). I personally was more focused on the flawless high ponytail that J.Lo was sporting.

Before the results, we got to see the contestants chilling out by the pool discussing their performances with each other in a not-at-all awkward way. JUST KIDDING! These kids can barely talk about themselves let alone each other! Good to see that Sam followed through on Harry's advice to look up Ricky Nelson, and even better to hear Malaya's spot-on comparison of the two: odd and confused. Alex was sad about the negative feedback he got but is willing to still take risks. Actions speak louder than words, my friends. You know what would be really risky? Jumping in the pool with all your clothes on! WHAT? YOU DID THAT? You're a total risk-taker! Oh wait. Never mind -- now you're cold and I still just want to hear you sing a song the way it was written, please! At least once!

Harry was slightly better behaved than Wednesday night, if you forget the part where he said he wanted to cartwheel over to Keith while J.Lo watched him. "I can multitask, I can do it all." How about chilling out, Harry Creepy Jr.?

Don't stop believing, Malaya! Do you think it was her time to go? Discuss below in the comments.

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