Image credit: Fox
THE WORST EVER Think the orchestra's embarrassed?
Amber Holcomb, Beyoncé's "Love On Top": I'm just going to be a horrible objectifier for a second here: THOSE DAMN LEGS. I'm sorry! With those absurd frayed cutoffs as a "hat" and those sky-high pink pumps, they sort of came to life as their own (extremely vivid) cartoon characters. I was just mesmerized is all. Not creepy. Kind of creepy.
This song is tough to sing, and no matter how you do so, you're still a teenager pretending to be Beyoncé. I give Amber major props for even attempting it. I loved seeing the crowd go nuts for her, even if they were simply relieved to finally know one of the songs. "Baby girl. Baby girl. Baby girl. Yes ma'am. YOU HAVE ARRIVED. In every sense of the world," claimed Nicki. It's like the little tyke blossomed into a sexy young woman in just that one majestic sentence!
Lazaro Arbos, Robbie Williams' "Angels": Okay, this one wasn't as awful, but the judges strained to find something positive to say. Nicki refused to comment. Randy delivered this stunning bulletin from the Dept. of the Obvious: “It’s a girls’ race right now for me.” Even Mariah struggled to say something nice, ramble-wondering whether Lazaro’s second try was “more in the direction…of a performance…that would maybe be…preferable?” Cringe. Also, LOL.
Didn't Laz's shirt look like a lacy black negligee at times? Bold move.
Kree Harrison, Kris Kristofferson's "Help Me Make It Through The Night": This was exactly what I for one wanted out of Kree -- a pure country song, one she's always loved, in a romantic, understated setting. Did anyone else notice that some of the shadows made it look like Kree was wearing sex-kitten over-the-knee boots? Can't get more romantic than that! Seriously, though, this made me love her and love the song -- like Nicki, I am fully engaged in the Kree-dom.
She's still not the most dynamic performer, and if Candice wasn't a part of this season I might feel underwhelmed with her as a frontrunner. BUT. If you isolate the vocal of any of Kree's performances (often I just listen to the audio on my computer while I write these up), it is drop-dead gorgeous every single time. Will she one day become a member of the Grand Ole Opry, like Keith said? I don't see why not.
NEXT: Oh, shoot, that other country girl still has to go