Lazaro Arbos, Queen's "We Are the Champions": Is Lazaro stuffing his pants? I'm pretty sure he is. Our tragic never-knows-the-words hero turned on his Freddie Mercury swagger (LOL) for this performance. This time he did remember the words, but they might as well have just been "F--- you for doubting me" on a loop," especially as he sauntered past the judges' table and later executed a well-timed wind-up Rock Jump! to end the song instead of his signature, highly mockable full-body Jazz Hand. Has Lazaro suddenly become…the complete package?
I mean, no. Please. He fell apart again in his duet with poor Angie Miller on "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" (I just couldn't handle it) and is clearly not able to work well with others…or on multiple tasks in the same week. But hey, I definitely applaud him for making sure "We Are the Champions" wasn't an embarrassment.
All I could really think about during Amber Holcomb, Janelle, and Kree's trio on Billy Joel's "It's Still Rock and Roll to Me" was how completely and utterly Clueless they seemed.
Is this like a Noxzema commercial or what?
Dionne would totally be the most into "selfies," too. Ugh, I'm just gonna pretend I didn't do the depressing math that Clueless came out when Amber was ONE YEAR OLD...and move on.
NEXT: A broken toe vs. legs for days