American Horror Story recap: Kill Fiona

The Coven tries to take down their own Supreme. As usual, somebody dies.
Ep. 08 | Aired Dec 4, 2013

WITCH BLACK I always enjoy when the Coven ladies dress all in black. It looks like a Project Runway challenge where several radically different stylists have each designed their own high-fashion steampunk version of the X-Men 3 costumes.


Fiona prepared herself for the end. She had Myrtle hold up a mirror while she made herself look like one hell of a corpse. She mused about an old affair, at Woodstock, with "Levon, the drummer in The Band." They had a wild six months in Woodstock. Another woman in her position might have taken her final moments to engage in recrimination, in past mistakes. Not Fiona. "What good would it do?" She swallowed the pills, and told Myrtle to hang her portrait up on her chosen spot -- or anywhere except the basement, where one finds a painting of "that disgraced Russian witch." She lay down, fell asleep. Myrtle stole her jewelry. Fiona was dying.

Or maybe not: Her faithful servant Spalding woke her up. Had the butler come back to life? Nope: He was a ghost, like the Axeman, haunting the Academy where his family has served so faithfully for generations. He told Fiona she had been tricked. "They've been running a number on you," he said. He gave her some liquid. She drank it. A few minutes later, the suicide pills regurgitated, she made Spalding a promise. "I will avenge your murder," she said, "Right after I avenge my own."

Across town, Queenie was meeting with her former slave/enemy/BFF-turned-captive Delphine. She tried feeding the immortal some fast food. But Marie wouldn't allow it. The appearance of her nemesis brought out the old, bad Madame LaLaurie. "What you gonna do? Kill me? I cain't die!" she cackled. She asked Marie to throw her back in the house. She had seen this modern world. She had seen the black man in the White House -- although she called him something much worse. She promised Marie that, when she was re-exhumed some hundred years hence, "the natural order would be restored." So Marie chopped off Delphine's hand. "We've only just begun," she said.

Downstairs at Miss Robichaux's, the girls were awaiting word on their mission. Nan mused: "Do you think I could be the Supreme?" They did not. She raced over to Luke's house -- using a bit of telekinetic energy to open the door. She freed him from some restraints, and even kissed him. Luke wanted to escape... but his mom got in the way. "I made you!" she screamed. "And I can unmake you!" At that point, she was shot: Delia's witch-hunting hubby was outside. He took down Luke, too, leaving Nan scrambling.

Meanwhile, Myrtle played Schubert's Last Sonata for the assembled witches, awaiting the moment when the fire of Supremehood would enter one of them. It was not to be. Fiona reappeared, seemingly mostly upset about the fact that Myrtle wasn't playing Schubert properly. But attention shifted to the bloodshed next door. Fiona watched Misty bring Neighbor Mom back to life... while Delia found a telltale silver bullet, conjuring up an image of her hubby with a sniper rifle.

Zoe returned to her reanimated fratboy guy-pal, Kyle. He's learned a few words. "This road goes two ways," he said. "I love you." A shocked Zoe responded in kind: "I love you, too." The camera panned over to Madison, overhearing around the corner, crying.

Interpersonal problems are brewing between the young witches. But the day's events had a happy accidental result: Fiona and Cordelia's relationship has never been stronger. Fiona admired how the entire Coven came together to take on a nemesis. Admittedly, that nemesis was herself, but still, she had never been prouder of her daughter. Delia joked that if she knew that would impress Fiona, she would've tried to kill her years ago. They laughed and laughed and laughed. But that silver bullet was no laughing matter. There were witch hunters about: One more threat to the Coven. And now there's a woman down -- or most of a woman anyhow. A package arrived for Fiona, containing the head of Delphine LaLaurie. Still alive. Probably in a lot of pain. But as far as diets go, the decapitation method is proven to help you lose weight 5 out of 5 times. So that's the good news.

Fellow viewers, what did you think of "The Sacred Taking"? Not enough fish-eye lenses?

Follow Darren on Twitter: @DarrenFranich

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