American Horror Story recap: Sushi Vending Machines and Other Sundry Terrors

Halloween brings ill tidings to Miss Robichaux's, as Marie breaks a decade-old truce and old lies give way to new lies. Also, zombies.
Ep. 04 | Aired Oct 30, 2013

DRAW A LINE After four decades of peace, Marie launches an attack on the Salem Coven. There are snakes involved.

Michele K. Short/FX

Trick or Treaters came by Miss Robichaux's. "Little beggar children, all fancied up!" said the Madame LaLaurie, who discovered that the youth of today never take just one piece of candy. Upstairs, the three remaining students of Miss Robichaux's debated what to do about Madison. Further upstairs, Spalding was decidedly doing something about Madison. Specifically, he was dressing up in Little Bo Peep pajamas, grabbing a ladylike frilly nightgown, and staring licentiously at the corpse of Madison Montgomery. He had put her in make-up and arranged her in the corner of his tea party; to cover up her unsightly neck scar, he gave her a red scarf. It was vaguely necrophiliac -- and if we're being honest, there's no such thing as "vaguely" necrophiliac.

Fiona and Delia were out on the town, celebrating what we can only assume is the latest in a whole series of Not-Guilty verdicts for the elder Goode. An unusually soused Delia asked her mother to play a game. Three Questions: Swear to Answer Honestly. She asked why Fiona didn't like her husband, and Fiona pointed out that he reeks of bulls---, not to mention minotaurs--- and general serial killer weirdos---. Delia asked if Fiona killed Madison, and Fiona said "No," clearly not in the spirit of the game. Then Fiona asked Delia her own question: "Who do you believe is the next Supreme?" Delia laughed and didn't answer. These women are really terrible at following the rules.

Delia told the bartender: "Keep these coming, Mister Man!" The show smash-cut to Delia regurgitating several Maker's Neats into the toilet. She washed her hands. A figure cloaked all in black approached her, and apropos of nothing, threw liquid in her face. It burned Delia. Was it acid? Enchanted water? Was that the first direct strike in the Voodoo-Salem war? Or something even more insidious?

Back at Miss Robichaux's, Handsome Neighbor Boy arrived to give treats. He had some cookies, to repay Nan for that delicious cake. Zoe looked on, suspicious. It's interesting to see how quickly Zoe has gone from being the centric figure of the season premiere to a glorified extra with a D-plot. Actually, each version of American Horror Story has a similar narrative issue: The pilot focuses on a relatively straightforward protagonist (Vivien Harmon, Kit Walker) who is more obviously heroic and therefore way less interesting than the parade of grotesques who populate the show. Zoe is probably the by-default favorite to be the next Supreme, since her name comes earliest in the credits, so I expect she'll be more prominent in future episodes.

Madame LaLaurie answered a knock at the door...and found three undead husks awaiting her. She recognized one of them. It was her daughter. You know, the supposedly chubby one. The Madame closed the door, terrified. Outside, the undead surrounded Miss Robichaux's. The Confederate Soldier hoisted his revolver, bayonet at the ready. Halloween Night was just beginning. I'm guessing a whole lot of zombies are about to die hilariously.

Fellow viewers, what did you think of the latest episode of Coven. Intrigued by the arrival of the Council? Wondering how long it will take concerned parents to call the cops about that freaky college boy covered in blood parading down the street screaming "No Kyle! No Kyle!"? Would you like an invitation to Spalding's tea party? Isn't everyone who claims to be a Thomas Kinkade aficionado secretly a silencer-toting psychopath?

Follow Darren on Twitter: @DarrenFranich

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