'The Amazing Race' recap: Love Child

We were still set up for frat-boy failure, however, as a wet Andrew proudly presented his number to the shopkeeper and was wrong, even though he had enlisted a Russian cabbie to help him count. I was convinced that this was the frat boys' death knell. But then Dallas, trying to get back to his mother, watched his cab drive away with his passports and money. But here's what bothered me: He didn't seem to go to much effort to chase after the cab, did he? Everything we'd seen so far indicated that Moscow was choked with traffic; wouldn't he have eventually caught up?

Still, I thought that not even the loss of cash and passports was enough to overpower the natural forces that don't want good things to happen to Dan and Andrew. When Dan heard the news and smiled, saying, "It's crippling. Hopefully Andrew will come here soon and we can finish this out," I thought for sure it was going to cut to Andrew falling into an open manhole.

Toni and Dallas made a valiant effort, begging for money to stay in the game. But the errors kept piling up, like their taking the train instead of a cab to a clue and being forced to turn around by the pony lady. And then Dan and Andrew faced a Speed Bump completely tailored to their lack of talent: mastering a Russian dance. I would bet that there was a different Speed Bump planned, but once the producers learned it would be Dan and Andrew, they threw together a rhythmic task just to get some more laughs. It didn't have the same magic, though. It seemed like Dan decided that if you combined an infinite number of spastic movements with an infinite number of epileptic seizures, you'd eventually come up with a perfect Russian dance, and he did. The judge was far too kind to him and let him pass, even though he just seemed to be doing a series of not particularly amusing drunken jumping jacks. It just goes to show: The sequel is never as good as the original, whether in movies or uncoordinated nerds.

Nick and Starr easily won the leg, while the frat guys just barely edged out Ken and Tina. It wasn't as close as it seemed, though, as Ken and Tina were sent back to find the clue they hadn't picked up; they had just spotted the frat guys and ran after them. For a few minutes the producers made it seem like this could save Toni and Dallas, but eventually gave up the charade, as the mother and son were so far behind that Phil had to track them down to give them the news that they were out of the race. (His mustached mat-mate, however, didn't come along. He probably was already late to an audition for the role of Bumbling KGB Agent #4 in Larry the Cable Guy's Git R Doneski!)

We were left with Toni and Dallas' tearful farewell. He looked shellshocked and guilty as she kvelled over her beautiful boy, waving away his mistake by telling him, "This has been the best experience of my life, and I wouldn't change a thing that we did. I have never been so proud of you, baby." I had to wipe away a tear and not just because of the final three teams that we're left with. Really, who do you root for now? I have nothing against Nick and Starr, they're just innocuous and thus hard to get behind. And Ken and Tina? If they're still bickering this late in the game, there's no triumph in their winning. She'd probably just yell at him for not holding the giant check correctly. As much as I hate to say this, I think Dan and Andrew are going to win. Think about it: In nearly every leg, they've just barely survived by finishing second to last. If they keep that pattern up, then the only way to just miss being eliminated in the finale is to finish first. The same laws of nature that cause them to lose their shoes and get doused by a cab will see that they win. Granted, they'll do it in some horribly embarrassing way, like they'll tie their shoes together, fall off a cliff, and accidentally land right on Phil's mat. But win they will, and I only hope Phil laminates their million-dollar check, because the ink will otherwise run when that rain cloud breaks above them.

What do you think? Frat boys for the win? And couldn't a strapping guy like Dallas catch up with a cab? Do you think he threw in the towel?

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