Image credit: CBS
BEGGING FOR IT Nicky and Kim out-beard the Beards.
My surprising new favorites Nicky and Kim dominate the Pose challenge -- copy the stance of a historic bronze statue of Neptune to earn donations from spectators -- by, "like, dripping sweat" into their "Spiderwoman" costumes (Spiderwoman of course being one of the lesser-known descendants of Neptune) while remaining vocal, hot, and desperate (the Amazing Race trifecta) the whole time. They need to collect 75 zloty, and the whole time they're begging for it, it basically sounds like they keep calling out "Slutty! Slutty!" Perhaps this gave them a slight edge with American tourists. But not, you know, anyone knowledgeable.
The Beards have way more trouble conquering the Pose -- to the point at which they give up and head over to the dance hall instead. It's a decision that likely cost them the Race, as they end up having to complete Pose anyway after getting U-Turned by Leo and Jamal.
Brandon's admission that if he were really to dress up as Neptune, "I'd just be wearing a seashell around my crotch -- I wouldn't be wearing a black onesie" prompts stellar reaction shots from both of the friendly Beards. "Whoa," states Adam.
Marie and Tim use their Express Pass to avoid wearing costumes the rest of the leg -- and to avoid the challenge, obviously. They just want doughnuts and they want them now. But first….
….Double U-Turn! I'm surprised Pink Hair and her punching bag choose to U-Turn nobody -- how does she pass up a free chance to be mean? The Okies, Tim and Danny, will do anything to bring back the money for their families, YAWN, so they easily decide to U-Turn Leo and Jamal. And then the Afghanimals U-Turn the Beards, forcing Brandon and Adam to trot back to the public square right behind them and beg for slutties.
I like how Brandon and Adam never get nasty about their Double U-Turn fate ("great photo of us!" they chirp good-naturedly, as the photo sort of suggests they're crazed serial killers). They're just not vocal enough where it counts -- up on that pedestal begging the Polish for change -- and ultimately can't swindle people out of their hard-earned bills as well as their snake-oil salesman fellow contestants Leo and Jamal, who easily charm a BYU football fan's kids into giving them most of the money they need.
Brandon and Adam know they're doomed -- "This is brutal. No one's gonna pay us. This sucks" -- but they fight through it anyway, eventually easing into the hamminess required for cash payment. "Lookit, two weirdos!" is my favorite beckoning call of the whole season. "Fifty zloty gets you a kiss!"
NEXT: I'll wait while you add jelly doughnuts to your shopping list