The Amazing Race recap: Top of the World

Racers plunge into the Arctic in Svolvaer, Norway; Pink Hair and her punching bag face a tough decision
Ep. 04 | Aired Oct 20, 2013

BLOBS FERRY Nicole and Travis express dismay that they're not the ones play-acting Titanic on the ship's bow.

CBS

Tim and Danny were genetically engineered to break their backs in the name of manual labor, so they have no problem collecting or hammering their cod. Nicky and Kim are another story, as Kim thinks she dropped the clue, then realizes after a hilarious amount of time that it's in her mouth. I'm liking them more and more, especially because they know how to focus on what's really important in the race. "Your arms look so strong right now," Kim assures Nicky as her staggering friend threatens to face-plant into a frozen road.

And it's cute when Nicky gets her hair caught in the cod for about a billion years, then finally emerges to tell the sleepy Norwegian codpiece, "That is…not normal." There's suddenly a shot of this sleepy gentle giant grinning head-on, clearly taken out of context, but I laugh, because my standards have been flattened to about the height of a kilo of cod jerky. Sleepy gentle giant gets a huge hug when Nicky and Kim finish, and that's really what it's all about.

How many times has Kim said something's the hardest thing she's ever done? This is at least three or four. Wait 'til she has to eat a baby animal's ear.

Boats! "Let's get some beards in the wind," Brandon enthuses as they travel to the ROADBLOCK: Who's the biggest swinger? One member of each team must swing from the end of an 80-foot rope, then plunge into the Arctic Ocean and swim to the next clue. Once again, the Beards are made for this. How amazing was Adam freaking out on the boat after Brandon plunged? "He can swim like a seal! Like a shark! Like a seal shark!" I love when the adrenaline rush transfers to the non-participating partner.

My Little Baby Fisherman (Jason) has trouble reaching the ball he needs to grab to let go (of his deepest darkest secrets?), which gives Pinky a great chance to doubt her punching bag's ability to conquer the Roadblock himself. "Looks like you need upper body strength. I'm not too confident he's strong enough to pull this off." Um, bitch, have you ever SEEN your partner? His arms are like bulging sacks of jewels, and he should be re-appraised and treated as a rarity by someone far kinder than you. Anyway, Tim obviously finishes the Roadblock in an instant. Pinky pats him on the head.

Kim makes me laugh again: "You look like a bank robber!" she yells to her flailing partner after they'd sunk into last place. I almost choke up as she continues, "I don't want to stop seeing the world." Luckily I catch myself because we're about to deal with MANLY TRUCKS.

NEXT: Which team is built AS TOUGH AS A FORD?

Latest Videos

Advertisement