The Amazing Race recap: Top of the World

Racers plunge into the Arctic in Svolvaer, Norway; Pink Hair and her punching bag face a tough decision
Ep. 04 | Aired Oct 20, 2013

BLOBS FERRY Nicole and Travis express dismay that they're not the ones play-acting Titanic on the ship's bow.

CBS

Amy and Jason get a taxi and triumphantly announce, "We just passed the Ass-animals." Clever. Nicole does an unconvincing…lion's growl? to warn her competitors not to steal her never-gonna-happen taxi. Guys, just jog. You need the endorphins. Aw, crap, they get a taxi.

Marie murders the only local Norwegian who's awake and steals his taxi. Not really. Marie and Tim get a taxi. When the Beards show up at the Fish Spikery, she delivers her first dismissive compliment of the night as she worries they'll be way too good at this challenge. "They eat gross stuff and do gross stuff all the time!" Brandon and Adam would proudly agree.

Most teams choose to Hang Heads, some of which are smaller than others. "Spiking the baby heads was really depressing," says Ashley. But screw the adult fish; they'd lived too long and were goners. Brandon and Adam prove their mechanical prowess once again: "We're pretty good at slamming a head onto a rock." Meanwhile, Amy keeps calling Jason, her baby, My Little Fisherman. I don't notice a neon orange pony's tail undulating from his backside; it must be visible only to her. After all, "Everything he does is really sexy."

As Tim wheels the fish heads up the curvy road, Marie surges ahead on foot and spews a dazzling array of gems on her unique Condescending Compliment to Brutal Threat spectrum:

"Oh my God, you're so good at wheelbarrowing!"
"Tim was made for pushing this wheelbarrow."
"Unless you puke, faint, or die, keep going."

They lose time, though, as they can't figure out they're using an unmarked pole. This is Race 101; no matter which foreign country you're in, the only flag that matters has the red and yellow stripes.

Jason/Amy and the Beards run ahead as Marie attempts to con Brandon into telling her what she's doing wrong (EVERYTHING) as if she'll hand over the Express Pass. "I'll tell you where you can stick your Express Pass!" the Beards mutter as they flutter in the gentle arctic breeze.

Leo and Jamal's wheelbarrow gets a flat. "It was definitely nice to see them struggle," says Jason.

Hmm. Was that sexy?

NEXT: Tim needs those jewel-arms better appraised, stat

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