The Celebrity Apprentice season premiere recap: That's a Spicy Meatball!

In a task geared to make the contestants say the word "balls" as often as possible, Trace Adkins rides a dangerous strategy to victory
Ep. 01 | Aired Mar 3, 2013

THIS PHOTO IS BEGGING FOR A DIRTY CAPTION But I don't take to begging (Hear that, Brande!)

Douglas Gorenstein/NBC

5. Piers vs. Omarosa: The Sequel
Season 1 of Celebrity Apprentice featured probably the most vicious and personal attacks the show has ever seen, with the majority of said attacks occurring between Piers Morgan and Omarosa. Omarosa repeatedly called him a drunk and a horrible father. So it was no surprise to see them immediately go at it again here. Things got testy early at the top of the episode when Piers asked out loud, “Is she the biggest loser in the history of the show?” “She’s a big winner,” said Trump to which Piers replied, “Really?” and all of America replied “Really?”

I don’t think Omarosa even cares about winning. She is there for one reason and one reason only — to shamelessly extend her 15 minutes of fame by playing the character of villain. Which is why she went out of her way to go after Bret. Bret’s a great guy! Everyone loves Bret! And whom do you go after if you want to be the villain? Yep, the guy everyone loves. That’s why she kept repeating the absurd claim that Bret “perpetrated one of the biggest frauds in the history of this game.” (Personally, I thought Omarosa being labeled both an “all-star” and “celebrity” would qualify for that honor, but maybe that’s just me.)

Anyway, Piers and Omarosa kept going at it until Deal or No Deal woman jumped to her teammate’s defense: “You came to our shop bitching and moaning like a woman.” Sounds like someone’s figured out the way to get some more air-time! Unfortunately for her, this move backfired as Ivanka the Boardroom Dominatrix called out Claudia for 1) Arguing with someone who will help determine her fate and 2) Being derogatory towards women. In effect, Ivanka told Claudia — NO DEAL!

6. Math is Hard
Brande can raise money. No doubt about that. It was no surprise to see her reading texts from billionaires. (Hmm, I wonder why rich men would want to be handing money over to a Playboy Playmate? Can’t figure it out for the life of me.) But her math skills started to come into question right about the time she told a visiting Piers Morgan that they had made 5,000 meatballs…a figure that was later amended to 650 by Claudia. And once it was announced in the Boardroom that her team had lost by $170,000 to Trace, things got even more interesting. That’s when each member of her team said how much money they had brought in — a figure that exceeded their total by $80,000. Omarosa refused to confirm any of the numbers because she is Omarosa, leading Brande to blindly pick two people to come back to the Boardroom with her as her two lowest donors — even though she had no real clue as to who her two lowest donors were.

NEXT: Trump says it’s all about credibility. (Whose?)

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