The Celebrity Apprentice recap: A Work of (Truly Surreal) Art

Stephen Baldwin finds his new calling in life as the teams must explore their artistic sides
Ep. 05 | Aired Mar 31, 2013

BLUETIFUL Just because the Blue Man Group can never simply hand over money without making a huge time-consuming project out of it

Douglas Gorenstein/NBC

* This may make me sound like a horrible human being, but I am just going to go ahead and say it: I cannot understand a single world that comes out of Dennis Rodman’s mouth. I can’t! First off, the guy hardly says anything, but then when he does speak he has a tendency to blurt out words real fast. And then there is the fact that the words don’t seem to make a lick of sense. He’ll start saying one thing, and then without even stopping to breathe, go in a completely opposite direction, circle back, and then just blurt out some random words that have nothing to do with each other. It’s like one huge run-on sentence laced with mere sentence fragments branching off into every direction possible. I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE HELL HE IS TALKING ABOUT! And I would venture to guess that neither does he.

* But there is something that Trump loves about Dennis Rodman. It could be the five NBA championships. Or the fact that he hooked up with people like Madonna and Carmen Electra. Who knows? But their odd couple bromance led us straight into our Donald Trump Completely Subjective Motive For Firing of the Week! While our champion of this particular competition remains the week 1 firing of previous Celebrity Apprentice champion Bret Michaels due simply to the fact that Trump didn’t like the fact that the Poison frontman came back to play again, this one was pretty remarkable as well, as Trump explained how he was not going to fire Dennis basically due to the fact that Rodman has decided to stay awake during tasks this time. “Omarosa, can I be honest with you,” said Donald. “I think the Dennis story is a great story. Not because he did a little bit better or a little bit worse than you. It’s a great story of redemption. He’s representing a lot of people that had big problems and continue to have big problems — with drugs, or alcohol, or whatever he was on the last time.”

Now, make no mistake, anything that gets Omarosa fired and off the show is an A+ call in my book. And by all accounts, Dennis' artwork was much better than Omarosa’s, if that matters at all. But there is nothing I love more than when Donald Trump doesn’t even attempt to fake it and admits out loud that performance on the tasks has nothing to do with his decision on who stays and who goes. Why isn’t Dennis being fired? Because it is “great story”? Okay.

* That sound you hear right now are the happy little hooves of a million Munchkins rejoicing and singing “Ding, dong, the witch is dead. Which old witch? The wicked witch!” That’s right, Omarosa was finally fired. So now we can move on without the clearly orchestrated charade of her acting like a villain in a lame attempt to juice drama.

But the drama for this week is far from done because now it's your turn to sound off. Are you glad to see Omarosa go? Did you love or loathe the show being cut down to an hour? And what was your most memorable moment of the week? Hit the message boards to let us know. And for more reality ramblings, follow me on Twitter @DaltonRoss. Have a great week, everyone, and until next Sunday: Cluck, Cluck…Splash!

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