The Celebrity Apprentice recap: A Work of (Truly Surreal) Art

Stephen Baldwin finds his new calling in life as the teams must explore their artistic sides
Ep. 05 | Aired Mar 31, 2013

BLUETIFUL Just because the Blue Man Group can never simply hand over money without making a huge time-consuming project out of it

Douglas Gorenstein/NBC

3. Shake Your Thang
I’ll always have a soft spot for Marilu Henner due to my massive crush on her in the 1980s, but I have to say that Lisa Rinna has won me over this season as well. I used to write her off as a joke due to the fact that her lips are bigger than my butt cheeks (maybe I’m the one that’s a joke then), but I have had to rethink my drink this go round. The woman manages to be both sane and entertaining at the same time, which is a hard feat to pull off on this show.

Our delightful Lisa Rinna moment of the week occurred when the former soap star put her rear into gear for some impromptu dancing to Gary Busey’s even more impromptu singing of a song whose only lyrics seemed to be “Art is only the search. It is not the final form.” (I think lightning may have struck Mr. Hangbrain more than once, if you know what I’m sayin’.) But it is was another fun aside from Lisa who has turned into a real competitor this season. Especially when you consider that there has been only one female Celebrity Apprentice winner (compared to four male winners), meaning a woman is overdue to win again.

4. Feeling Blue
They’re baaaaaaaaack! When I saw the Blue Men Group show up to deliver some money to Plan B’s art show, I couldn’t help but wonder if Clay Aiken was sitting somewhere breaking out into a huge sweat and having horrible flashbacks to last season’s money delivery debacle.

In case you missed it, Penn Jillette got his buddies in the Blue Man Group to deliver a bunch of cash last year to an Aiken-run fundraising task outside in a park. Just one problem: Instead of doing the easy and practical thing of handing over a check or wad of bills, they shot the money through an air pump into a big balloon that then popped, sending money all over the place. Now, just imagine if you will for a second the reaction of people on the streets of New York when money literally starts falling from the sky. Chaos would be an accurate description. Clay looked like he was about to have a heart attack as random dudes starting stuffing their pockets with cash.

So here came the Blue Man Group once again, and once again they could not simply hand over the money. This time, they folded $15,000 of individual bills into triangles inside 150 pounds of gelatin. Oh, Blue Man Group, why must you make everything so hard? And why must you look so creepy? Although I hear Peter Marcelle dubbed the entire thing a "masterpiece!"

5. Boardroom Odds & Ends
* Before we get into what went down in the Boardroom, can we pause for the cause and talk abut Dennis Rodman’s jacket for a minute. I mean, WHAT THE HELL?!? That is the craziest red, white, and blue zig-zaggy stripped sport jacket I’ve ever seen. Are we really sure Dennis Rodman is not still drunk, because I can’t see a sober person putting that on.

* Best Celebrity Apprentice exchange ever:

Stephen Baldwin: “May I finish.”

Doanld Trump: [long pause] “No.”

* So, Power lost yet again as Lil John’s team accumulated only $179,500 to Project Manager Lisa’s $225,000. Omarosa —who brought in only $12,500 (and $2,000 of that appeared to perhaps be from her own pocket when she asked a friend of hers buying a piece to add it to his total so she could raise more than Dennis Rodman) — hilariously then said that Lil John should be the one fired because he was Project Manager. “How can you possibly blame a Project Manager who brought in $82,500 when you brought in $12,500?” asked Boardroom advisor and licensed Omarosa hater Piers Morgan. Look at Piers Morgan, attempting to inject common sense onto All-Star Celebrity Apprentice! Isn’t that cute?

NEXT: Our long national nightmare is finally over

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