The Celebrity Apprentice recap: A Work of (Truly Surreal) Art

Stephen Baldwin finds his new calling in life as the teams must explore their artistic sides
Ep. 05 | Aired Mar 31, 2013

BLUETIFUL Just because the Blue Man Group can never simply hand over money without making a huge time-consuming project out of it

Douglas Gorenstein/NBC

1. Trace Gets Traded
With the losers on Team Power now down three members to Plan B, it was obvious Donald Trump would do something to even out the teams. Because Donald Trump is all about fairness! Not only did he take someone off of Plan B and make them go over to Power, but he made the guy who picked the players on Plan B, Trace Adkins, go and join Team Sinking Ship instead. In a truly shocking development, Adkins — who from here on out will be known simply as Sunshine for his glass-half-full demeanor — was unhappy with the move. “I don’t like you very much right now,” grumbled Trace, to which Trump replied, “That’s okay, a lot of people don’t like me.” Really?

Later, while buying art supplies for their task — which was a fundraising project that involved the contestants creating their own artwork and then selling the pieces for as much moolah as possible — Sunshine asked for a gun to go shoot himself. The scary part about that is…that’s Sunshine on a good day! Just wait until he spends some more time around Dennis Rodman.

2. Stephen Baldwin: Artiste
I love people that take things seriously they have no business taking seriously. Like, I wouldn’t take Stephen Baldwin seriously, for instance. And Stephen Baldwin should not take being an artist seriously. But he did! And I loved him for it. After Penn Jillette and the rest of Plan B all decided that getting big donors was more important than the actual artwork, Stevie B looked clearly pained before rubbing his face, raising his hand, and asking Marilu Henner to sit back down. Clearly, something truly amazing was about to happen.

And that something was this: An artist being born in front of our very eyes! “Specific to me, the art does matter,” Baldwin explained. Stephen said that he wanted to make incredible art and then have a big name art dealer sell his art for tons of money, because who doesn’t want art from the star of Bio-Dome siting in their foyer? The rest of the team wasn’t buying the Pablo Picasso act. “Stephen was so full of s--- I couldn’t believe it,” said Marilu. “What play was he doing? Who was he really talking to? We knew that Stephen probably wasn’t going to bring in anything.”

Hey! Whoa! Back off, Henner! Who do you think you are making such a judgment like that, Peter Marcelle? Incidentally, I have no idea who Peter Marcelle is, and I  actually would not be surprised at all if he does not even exist, but according to Stevie B, he is a big shot who had big things to say about one of Baldwin’s pieces.  “I’ll tell you something,” Stephen told some pour soul whom he had trapped in a corner. “Peter Marcelle, who is a real art dealer, said my piece “I’m Not Alec," from a true artistic world, from that point of view, is the best one here. I wasn’t expecting that.” Neither were we! Also, define “real.” Funny, then, how Peter Marcelle did not appear to sell any of Baldwin’s pieces, although Stephen later got upset when Lisa was able to unload one to hairstylist Chaz Dean, claiming he could have gotten much more for it on his own. Perhaps the name of the piece should be changed to “I’m Not Realistic.”

NEXT: A blast from the Celebrity Apprentice past

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