The Celebrity Apprentice recap: Tears For Fears (of Being Fired)

Omarosa sheds (imaginary?) tears as several different soap operas break out
Ep. 03 | Aired Mar 17, 2013

GOOD CLEAN FUN Marilu Henner and Stephen Baldwin working On Plan B's soap opera

Image Credit: Douglas Gorenstein/NBC

La Toya was certainly not impressed, making the first of her two remarks that Omarosa killed her fiancé Michael Clarke Duncan. “Omarosa’s fiancé passed away not long ago. He had a heart attack. I’m sure she gave it to him.” This was nothing compared to her later accusation of murder: “Omarosa is the most evil person I have ever met. She’s a no good, conniving, scheming, cut-throat, probably pulled the cord on Michael Duncan Clarke.” (FYI: She either means Michael Clarke Duncan, or is now accusing Omarosa of killing two people!) While Brande tried to find out what a succubus was, La Toya continued her assault by telling Arsenio her enemy was a “conniving witch.” How she started that last word with a W as opposed to a B, I’ll never know.

In any event, it should have come as no surprise then when the witch made herself magically disappear. After insisting that she be one of the actors, Omarosa took off after saying that she had to deal with a tabloid news magazine show releasing her fiancé’s 911 call. Ugh! Tabloid news magazines — how low can you go? I wish we didn’t have tabloids in this country. But that’s mostly just because then Omarosa would have nothing to “half run” on the west coast.

As for Team Power’s show, it basically was just a dramatic “Dum-Dum-Dum!” noise repeated every 6 seconds, signaling the audience to drink their Crystal Light Liquid each time. Omarosa showed up a few minutes before the show and basically did nothing. Jack Wagner also hung around in a smoking jacket, causing me to consider his place in the pantheon of soap opera actors turned wannabe rock stars (my take: one spot below Rick Springfield, and one spot above Michael Damian).

5. The Crying Game
A lot of readers complained last week that I did not take Omarosa to task for what seemed to be fake tears when she spoke of her former fiancé. I was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, people! The one time I am actually nice and you guys are all over me! Well, it turns out you may have had a point. Because I paid extra special attention to the alleged waterworks this week, and they did indeed seem a bit suspect.

Even Arsenio was dubious, saying that there was something off about it. “You’re a very non-trusting person,” Trump told last year’s winner. But I looked pretty damn closely and while I heard lots of crying, I did not see one single tear. Nor did Trump, “I did see no tears,” he conceded later. “Were there tears?” “I didn’t see tears,” responded Arsenio, who then referenced the no doubt STD-infested tissue Dennis Rodman handed over for use. “And the Kleenex looked dry to me.”

I was actually begging for Omarosa to shed undisputedly real tears. Anything to get me out of accusing a woman of fake crying over her dead fiancé. I would give anything to get out of that situation. Like, say…moving on to the next topic!

NEXT: Trump grills Lil John on his grill

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