'The Celebrity Apprentice' recap: Tickling Your Funny Bone

2. Universally Sane Executives
I love Universal Studios. Took the family there a few years ago and we rode the Harry Potter rides until I almost puked…and then we rode them some more! Great place. But I have to say, I was very disappointed with Donna and Alice, the two Universal execs who came by to advise and judge the teams on the task. They seemed like very nice, considerate ladies. Which was exactly the problem! We don’t want nice and considerate. We want Farouk Shami!

You remember Farouk of Farouk Systems and that weird chi hair dryer contraption. That dude is the most pimped out adviser/judge in Celebrity Apprentice history, showing up in his red cowboy boots and hitting on female contestants even more blatantly than Donald Trump himself. In fact, I’m pretty sure he may have actually married Aubrey O’Day last season on camera if I remember correctly. At least it seemed that way. Forget Rodman’s plane, I want to ride on Farouk’s plane! I’ll bet that sucker comes stripper pole-equipped. And not for nothing, but I'm pretty sure that plane’s “cockpit” is not in the front of the aircraft, if you know what I’m sayin’.

In this PF (post-Farouk) landscape we live in, it is no longer acceptable to merely show up, nod your head, shake some hands and call it a day. You have to match the contestants' flair with a bit of your own. Donna! Alice! Step up your game, ladies!

3. The Bad Girl Does Good (or 'well,' if you want to be technical)
There is nothing I would enjoy more than writing 2,000 words about how inept Omarosa was on this task. (That’s actually not true. I have 5,000 more words on Farouk in me right now, but I’ll spare you all that tangent.) The point is, Omarosa ceased to be entertaining a long time ago. When someone goes out of her way that much to be a villain, it just comes off as desperate. But look, give credit where credit is due. With a big assist from Lil Jon, the woman came up with an original plan of having three unique environments, and she executed it well.

Now did I want to throw my souvenir Harry Potter Butterbear mug through my television when she berated some poor workman with, “Why is that? You told me you could get it done. You told me. I’m telling you right now I’m about to freak out because you set me up if I can’t get this done”? Yes. Yes, I did. And was it odd that she had no problems obscuring the Universal Studios Florida logo with some pictures of Lisa Rinna frolicking around the park. Yes, yes it was. But I don’t think there was any question that her display was far superior to Dee Snider’s. Speaking of which…

NEXT: Dee Snider only vacations in one place