3. Teller encased in cement!
Maybe this says more about me than it does about Penn & Teller, but watching them perform a magic trick with an audience member during the live portion was more mystifying than mystical. Penn did some handwork with a billiard ball, then a wand. Teller didn't seem to be suffocating (that isn't the trick). His assistant was a tall blonde woman from the audience. What's her story? Did she know she would be helping to perform magic for multiple millions on live television? I don't remember her wearing glasses at the start of the trick (that isn't the trick, either). The good news is that Penn saved Teller. I'm not sure how. Magic was probably involved. I don't think the billiard ball was that important.
4. TIE: Brande's shoulder pads/Brande's hair
There were a lot of questionable styling decisions made during the night's live portion, when each of the eliminated contestants was brought back for a double-shot of punishment and nostalgia. But the clear winner was Brande Roderick, not because she was the craziest but because she rocked her crazy. What was going on with those shoulder pads? I wanted that haircut! Did it hypnotize me? It was so platinum. Also: Brande's shoulders were basically right angles -- spangly, blue, and perpendicular.
Honorable mention: Dennis' mohawk. Blah blah Dennis Rodman dresses crazy blah. "I want his barber," Trump says. Does he know what the word "barber" means? Separately: Does Dennis know what "North Korea" means? I'm sure Kim Jong-un was delightful at dinner; I'm less sure that he is a "good guy."
Dishonorable mention: Lisa Rinna's beige, skin-like outfit. The seams were in all the wrong places and it had the unfortunate side effect of making Lisa look like she hadn't been watered by her owners in several days. I used to have your hair cut, Lisa. It gets better.
NEXT: "I don't believe anything is distorted"