7. Dennis Finally Gets to Lie Down on the Job
I’m pretty sure there is nowhere in the world Dennis Rodman would rather be than on the floor staring up at a bunch of half-naked Vegas showgirls. I’m also pretty confident this is not the first time Rodman has found himself in that exact position. Only in this case it was not Dennis’ idea at all, but rather Penn who asked Rodman to lay on the floor and catch the liquid that Teller was going to secretly pour out while the glass was concealed as part of their ice cream ad. “You’re right between their legs, Dennis,” Penn instructed, and if there is one thing Dennis Rodman knows how to do, it is get between a showgirl’s legs. That’s called playing to your strengths.
And what exactly happens when Dennis gets between a showgirl’s legs? Well, I’m pretty sure the visual of Rodman when he stood back up told the whole story, as his jeans were covered with a mysterious white liquid. “Creaming his pants was about the best visual ever,” laughed Lisa. Personally, I would have gone with most disturbing, but to each their own.
So, now we head to the finale. You have to think that Trace probably has the edge, given that his ad appears to be in good shape and his ice cream flavor does not have a ridiculous title. But who knows? Penn has already proved he knows how to throw a hell of a party, and to me, he’s been the most solid performer all season long, so you can never count him out. All I know is this: I won’t be here to share in the final moments with you. Unfortunately, I will be away for work so won’t get to see the glorious conclusion to this heavyweight battle. (And when I say “heavyweight” I’m referring to their actual weight. These guys are huge!)
Luckily, Adam Carlson has kindly agreed to step in for me, so you’ll be in good hands, but I do apologize for not completing this epic journey with you. But forget about next week — let’s talk about this week some more! Do you agree with the final two? Who has the early advantage? Who got the better team? And should Penn cut or keep the giant bedazzled showgirl crotch in his ice cream ad? Hit the message boards to let us know! And for more reality ramblings you can follow me on Twitter @DaltonRoss. Until next time, say it with me. Say it loud and say it proud: Cluck, Cluck…Splash!