5. Danke Schoen
Perhaps the oddest thing in this entire episode is the fact that Penn’s entire victory seemed to rest on the shoulders of…Wayne Newton? Once Penn came up with his Vegas Vagina theme for the ice cream, he decided that the piece de resistance would be to have Wayne Newton show up for the event. However, Wayne already had a prior commitment. Was it a sold out show at Caesars Palace? An appearance in another Bond film? A private concert for star-studded luminaries? Nope. Try a parade in Phoenix. That’s right, one of the celebrities that Trump claimed “all want to be on the show” was in danger of turning down the nationally televised program honoring his very own charity for a parade. In Phoenix.
Now, I have to imagine this is one of those classic Celebrity Apprentice finale pump fake cliffhangers where they make you believe up until the very last second that they can’t get the big name they need — remember two years ago with 7UP pitchman Geoffrey Holder — but it’s still pretty funny that Wayne Newton has all of a sudden become the big Celebrity Apprentice kingpin. However, even if Newton does show up, that still does not change the fact that Penn’s ice cream flavor contains the word “swurltle.”
6. Passing the Sniff Test
Is it just me or is Gary Busey completely fart-obsessed? We all remember Fartgate a month or so back when he accused Lisa Rinna of breaking wind in the van and claimed that "I can see fart gas.” He went on to reveal that he had access to some sort of secret spray from a detective agency that turns the air around farts bright blue, yellow, and fuchsia — which he would then use to discover whether Lisa had indeed made the noise he thought she made.
This week Gary was up to his old tricks again. After putting the fool in dancing fool, Gary decided to shake his groove thang with a trio of what I assume were other actors hired for the commercial. When an attractive young lady than proceeded to bust out a swim move by holding her nose and bobbing her body down to the ground, a confused Gary responded “What did you do? Did you just fart?” WHY IS GARY BUSEY ALWAYS ACCUSING PEOPLE OF PASSING GAS?!? I would chalk this up as a “he who smelt it dealt it” situation, but he didn’t even smell it!
The most disturbing aspect of this whole thing is that I am starting to get the sneaky suspicion that this is all wishful thinking on Gary’s part: That he is secretly hoping these attractive women keep happening to fart in his general vicinity. I don’t know if it is some weird fetish or what, but let’s just all be thankful he was not on the other team playing the part of Dennis Rodman underneath the chorus of Vegas showgirls.
NEXT: Rodman enjoys the view