'90210' recap: Hot for Teacher

How long can you go on pretending to be something you're not? How do you move on after discovering your entire life is built on a lie? And most importantly, is it appropriate to have sex with your children's teacher?

The last question may not be the deepest of philosophical dilemmas (although Derrida may have touched on it), but in Beverly Hills (or at least 90210) it's bound to be something a single mom has to grapple with. Overall, the West Beverly students took it easy on the drama last night, but thankfully, the adults were there to pick up the slack. (Someone had to!) So let's start off with a bang -- and discuss who banged -- shall we? (Side note: The lovely and talented Archana Ram is on vacation this week, so I'm filling in on recapping duties.)

Mrs. Wilson and Mr. Matthews gave the kiddies a lesson in le scandaleux when they got down and dirty (er, clean?) after a hot round of dishwashing. (Who knew that soap suds and blue rubber globes were aphrodisiacs?) Debbie is still mourning the demise of her marriage, and any steps toward closure were obliterated when she found out Harry was already playing house with someone new (that was way harsh, Tai). She's insecure, lonely, and desperately needs to mix up her dinner menus, while Ryan, is completely overwhelmed by his newfound single parenthood (but at least he can call his baby "Jack" instead of "Jacques" now that Jen is gone!). Maybe it was purely physical or maybe it was something deeper, but regardless, Ryan certainly has a type, doesn't he? (That would be cougars. Save for that one crazy mommy who flew the coop). Do you think this early evening delight was purely a one-time thing, or will this be a prolonged affair?

In another, much larger home, Navid's father was working to find a way to beat those pesky child pornography charges because everyone is out to get him, you know? I mean all he did was make a few adult films with girls who may not have been of age, but what's a few years between business partners? Everyone wants a big break in this town, and age ain't nothing but number, people. (Sorry, that must have been Mr. Shirazi talking. I'm back). Navid was caught off guard by the news that the authorities were looking into his father's business -- Surprise, kid! A child-pornography charge isn't something your guidance counselor will take lightly -- expecting to be praised for his calculus grade rather than accused of unveiling his dad's illegal porn ring. Although Navid was the reason his father was being investigated, Mr. Shirazi can blame no one but himself, and his son made that loud and clear: "You’re not in trouble because of my big mouth. You’re in trouble because you broke the law! You just need to stop blaming everyone else and take some responsibility for it!"

Morally speaking, what Navid did was right; his father was doing something illegal/totally pervy, and he should suffer the consequences. Of course, even when one's entire life is built on dirty money, it's nonetheless hard to watch it be swept out from underneath you. Fearing jail time, Navid's father quickly left for Iran, attempting to evade the consequences for his actions (pulling a Captain Archibald, if you'll allow me to cross reference my CW shows). Is that the last of Navid's family troubles, or are they in for big changes (namely, trading the Ferrari in for a city bus pass)?

NEXT: Teddy shares his secret past with Ian.

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