'90210' recap: They Love You, Zack Morris!

I'd like to think that the Saved By The Bell yearbook episode was a precursor to last night's 90210. In SBTB, the gang created a video yearbook—decades ahead of their time!—that gave them glimpses of their true selves. Fast-forward to 2010, and what have we got? The West Bev kids trying to resolve very similar issues using the same exact "futuristic" medium. Thank you, Zack Morris! Here's how all the dramatic permutations played out:

The Silver-Naomi-Mr. Cannon triangle
I even hate to call it a triangle because it makes it sound quasi-romantic. Nonetheless, it's a fitting way to define how Mr. Cannon has royally screwed with Silver and Naomi's relationship. Naomi, haunted by memories of the rape and unable to sleep, borrowed pills from a classmate. Who was this classmate? Why did Naomi listen to her after no-name girl insulted her for looking like crap? Desperate times call for desperate measures! One pill wasn't sufficient, so Naomi knocked back a few more with some red wine to fully konk herself out, making this whole storyline even sadder than it was before. (And Naomi's yearbook video was pretty sad, too.) While Naomi imbibed, Silver had her own pill-fueled predicament to deal with—but she didn't even know it. Yes, girlfriend stupidly agreed to watch Cannon's documentary AT HIS HOUSE. Cannon even struggled for a second before crushing the drug into Silver's tea, but Silver recognized a line from Naomi's yearbook video in Cannon's document. She managed to bust right up on out of there. For a second I thought he'd grab her, but it seems like Cannon's perverted ways are starting to eat away at him. The good news was Silver believed Naomi. The bad news was that when Silver showed up at Naomi's hotel-esque room, Naomi was unconscious. Nooo! It echoed last season's scene when Silver found her mom dead.

Ivy, Dixon and the runt Oscar
We learned at the end of the episode that Oscar has a personal vendetta against Laurel for ruining his father's life. If the payback involves wreaking havoc on Ivy's life, job well done, old chap. My question is: If Oscar is smart enough to manipulate a sweet couple's relationship, how is he not smart enough to know that you don't wear jeans to gym class? Anyway, Oscar revealed some conflicting information to Dixon about Ivy's story of doing the deed at summer camp. (Still, kudos for a plausible scenario, Ivy.) Dixon and Ivy did their now weekly one-of-us-is-mad-at-the-other dance and by the end, they made up because Ivy told Dixon something she had never told anyone: Her dad lives 10 miles away. This was poignant I suppose, but the overalls and Princess Leia up-do majorly detracted. Also, Ivy doesn't have to skateboard through the hallways. We get it; she's a free spirit!

NEXT: We know what (and who) Teddy did last night!

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