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			<category><![CDATA[TV]]></category>
			<title><![CDATA[EW.com: TV Recaps]]></title>
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			<description><![CDATA[Latest TV recaps from Entertainment Weekly]]></description>
			<pubDate>Sat, 25 May 2013 22:14:47 +0000</pubDate>
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			 <title><![CDATA[EW.com: TV Recaps]]></title>
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			 <ti.ew:blog>TV Recaps</ti.ew:blog>
			 <ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>
			 <ti.ew:headline><![CDATA['Dancing With the Stars' season finale recap: Great Mirrorballs of Fire!]]></ti.ew:headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-headline><![CDATA['Dancing With the Stars' season finale recap: Great Mirrorballs of Fire!]]></ti.ew:seo-headline>
			 <ti.ew:headline-sort><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars' season finale recap: Great Mirrorballs of Fire!]]></ti.ew:headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:headline-a>D</ti.ew:headline-a>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline><![CDATA['Dancing With the Stars' season finale recap: Great Mirrorballs of Fire!]]></ti.ew:tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-headline><![CDATA['Dancing With the Stars' season finale recap: Great Mirrorballs of Fire!]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-sort><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars season finale recap: Great Mirrorballs of Fire!]]></ti.ew:tout-headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-a>D</ti.ew:tout-headline-a>
			 
			 <ti.ew:deck><![CDATA[Aly, Kellie, Jacoby, and Zendaya vie for the most coveted knob of glitter in all the land. The winners are...]]></ti.ew:deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-deck><![CDATA[Aly, Kellie, Jacoby, and Zendaya vie for the most coveted knob of glitter in all the land. The winners are...]]></ti.ew:seo-deck>
			 <ti.ew:tout-deck><![CDATA[Aly, Kellie, Jacoby, and Zendaya vie for the most coveted knob of glitter in all the land. The winners are...]]></ti.ew:tout-deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-deck><![CDATA[Aly, Kellie, Jacoby, and Zendaya vie for the most coveted knob of glitter in all the land. The winners are...]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-deck>			 
			 
			 <ti.ew:story><![CDATA[After a two-hour finale featuring performances from Wynonna Judd, Pitbull, Jessica Sanchez, and Psy (whoa...what if <em>those</em> were the four finalists?!), we have a winner! The proud owners of a COVETED MIRRORBALL TROPHY.... are....

<strong>Kellie Pickler and Derek Hough!</strong>

Zendaya and Val Chmerkovskiy were the runners up.... Jacoby Jones and Karina Smirnoff came in third..... Aly Raisman and Mark Ballas finished fourth.

EW.com readers overwhelmingly voted that Kellie should win, but it seemed like the rest of the cast was surprised it wasn't Zendaya in the end. Either would have been so deserving -- and my heart is SWELLING to the size of a fringed butt right now (#sparklebarf) after luxuriating in the natural high provided by those last three dances.

I can't believe those Instant Dances always get to me so much, because on the surface they are so pointless! Everyone always gets a 30. You could fall flat on your butt/heart, or half-ass a leap due to an awkwardly placed camera (as Jacoby did), or bungle the high kick that punctuates the final note of the song (as Kellie did), and without a doubt, you are entitled to "From Len...a 10!" -- which translates roughly to "The only 10 that really matters!"

But they're brilliant! Jacoby, who was soooo over it by the final studio rehearsal, still sucked it up enough to execute an incredible behind-the-back spin/lift with his trademark energetic abandon as Andy Dick's neon yellow bowtie bounced along with him in the front row. Karina had on this random purple belt that served no function -- but if you looked at it long enough, you realized that of course, absolutely there should be an extra horizontal sparkle strip to jive against the technicolor staircase. The instant dance round always sparks up an unexpected last surge of gooey love I have for this show. And at what better time could that happen?!



The complete <em>Dancing With the Stars</em> viewing experience, in 6 seconds (from <a href="https://vine.co/v/b9TrK6nnAQh" target="_blank">Vine</a>)

I WILL NEVER NOT THINK SOMEONE IS ABOUT TO DIE BY PERFORMING THIS MOVE.

<strong>NEXT: Life Lessons from Val <em>#WhyAmICrying</em></strong>Kellie's instant jive was equally lovable and insane. I keep forgetting Derek is a world-renowned gymnast! And I loved how things got a little creepy (but who cares! last dance/last chance for love!) when Bruno couldn't stop raving about the way Kellie reminded him of Julianne, and the incredible chemistry between the Hough siblings. "Accurate precision, technique, the way you play with each other....weird and unbelievably wonderful!"

And then Zendaya's instant jive segment reminded me of every time I've thought the partnership of her and Val was indeed as magical as the judges claimed. I loved how he played "reluctant to have fun" at the beginning of the dance, and how they ended it with her giving him their signature "boop" on the nose. Len, never able to stop obsessing over people's "bits," marveled at "all those twinkly bits" of Zendaya's performance quality. "Spread your wings -- you're gonna fly, girl!" (This is when you knew Kellie had won.)

The tears really started flowing as soon as Zendaya took the opportunity during their final trip up to Brookebot Mountain to tell Val, "Thank you for being part of me growing up." Aggggghhhh! But get this -- she'd had a much more profound effect on him than he had on her!

"Age takes a bite out of your ambition, and your dreams," began Val. "You get a little jaded and slowed down." NO WAY, VAL. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I AGREE. "[Zendaya] inspires not only kids, but adults. She made me dream again, believe in myself again. She gives me purpose, and purpose is everything." OMG, VAL. Thank YOU for helping me achieve my dream of finally relating on a human level to a professional dancer! Now I just need to find a 16-year-old to hang out with all the time. (Not like that.)

One last time, <a href="https://vine.co/v/bFTElYqDtII" target="_blank">just because</a>:



<em>The Argentine Tang-bro. </em>2013, metallic on gem (man on man, yellow tank on blue).

<strong>NEXT: The Top 7 moments of the finale</strong> 

<strong>Annie's Top 7 ("Seh-<em>vehhhhn!</em>") Moments of the Season 16 Finale
</strong>

<a href="http://ewtvrecaps.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/screen-shot-2013-05-21-at-9-51-50-pm.png"><img alt="Screen Shot 2013-05-21 at 9.51.50 PM" src="http://ewtvrecaps.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/screen-shot-2013-05-21-at-9-51-50-pm.png?w=300" width="275" height="232" /></a>

7. Hidden Gem: Sparkle explosion from that blasted Twitter box during Cheryl and Tony's commercial break ease-in

<a href="http://ewtvrecaps.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/screen-shot-2013-05-21-at-8-03-35-pm.png"><img alt="Screen Shot 2013-05-21 at 8.03.35 PM" src="http://ewtvrecaps.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/screen-shot-2013-05-21-at-8-03-35-pm.png?w=300" width="275" height="202" /></a>

6. Len Goodman reaching valiantly for the COVETED MIRRORBALL TROPHY during his surprise foxtrot section with the always-randy Lisa Vanderpump

Oh, and let's call this 5.5 or Five and a Hoff:

<a href="http://ewtvrecaps.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/screen-shot-2013-05-21-at-8-02-18-pm.png"><img alt="Screen Shot 2013-05-21 at 8.02.18 PM" src="http://ewtvrecaps.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/screen-shot-2013-05-21-at-8-02-18-pm.png?w=300" width="300" height="222" /></a>

Len's awkward 0-1 (or 6-1?) self-scoring after the dance with Lisa -- reminiscent of that one time Jimmy Connors accidentally held up an 0-1 for Martina Navritilova!

5. Jacoby's I-don't-give-a-crap-anymore spot-on impression of Oprah in<em> The Color Purple</em> ("All my life I had to fight....") when faced with yet another "Are you surprised you made it this far?" inquiry from Brooke

4. Val's assessment of his own 14-stiches eyebrow situation: "Still pretty."

3. Andy and Sharna, Victor and Lindsay, and Sean and Peta mercifully breathing life into Psy's "Gentleman" dance-along. Len barely swaying along at the top was the best.

<a href="http://ewtvrecaps.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/screen-shot-2013-05-21-at-8-02-39-pm.png"><img alt="Screen Shot 2013-05-21 at 8.02.39 PM" src="http://ewtvrecaps.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/screen-shot-2013-05-21-at-8-02-39-pm.png?w=300" width="300" height="224" /></a>

2. Getting goosebumps at this magical Ice Queen Reunion -- I loved the dramatic reveal of season 6 winner Kristi Yamaguchi, who was the inspiration for Dorothy Hamill to participate in the series. (Poor Tristan, who is still injured. Take "tree" months and get better, you!)

<a href="http://ewtvrecaps.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/screen-shot-2013-05-21-at-8-03-05-pm.png"><img alt="Screen Shot 2013-05-21 at 8.03.05 PM" src="http://ewtvrecaps.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/screen-shot-2013-05-21-at-8-03-05-pm.png?w=300" width="300" height="227" /></a>

1. "Carrie Ann gave us a 5. That BITCH!" --Andy Dick

*

<strong>Happy with the results? Discuss!</strong>

<a href="http://bit.ly/YY3V0y" target="_blank"><img title=".7 deduction for flair" alt="01" src="http://ewpopwatch.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/012.jpg" width="300" height="186" /></a>

<a href="http://bit.ly/YY3V0y" target="_blank"><img title="MESSIN' ABOUT" alt="03" src="http://ewpopwatch.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/032.jpg" width="300" height="198" /></a>

<a href="http://bit.ly/YY3V0y" target="_blank"><img alt="14" src="http://ewpopwatch.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/142.jpg" width="300" height="191" /></a>

In the meantime, <a href="http://bit.ly/YY3V0y" target="_blank"><strong>EW.com's Hidden Gems of the Season 16 Finals</strong></a> await your expert appraisal....<strong></strong>

'Til autumn, y'all! Thank you as always for reading!

XOXO,
<a href="http://on.fb.me/QCZaYj" target="_blank">Fringe Fairy</a>

<a class="twitter-follow-button" href="https://twitter.com/EWAnnieBarrett">Follow @EWAnnieBarrett</a>

<strong>Read more:
</strong><a href="http://tvrecaps.ew.com/tv-show/dancing-with-the-stars-2/" target="_blank">All 'DWTS' recaps on EW.com</a>
<a href="http://popwatch.ew.com/tag/hidden-gems-uncategorized/" target="_blank">'DWTS': All Hidden Gems of the Week!</a>
<a href="http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20356896_20687086,00.html" target="_blank">Top 10 'Dancing With the Stars' Pros of All Time -- PHOTOS</a><strong>
</strong><a href="http://bit.ly/Zy46hM" target="_blank">Tristan MacManus tours the 'DWTS' rehearsal space -- EXCLUSIVE VIDEO</a>

<em><a href="http://on.fb.me/QCZaYj" target="_blank">Annie Barrett's 'DWTS' Facebook page</a></em>]]></ti.ew:story>
			 <ti.ew:seo-story><![CDATA[After a two-hour finale featuring performances from Wynonna Judd, Pitbull, Jessica Sanchez, and Psy (whoa...what if those were the four finalists?!), we have a winner! The proud owners of a COVETED MIRRORBALL TROPHY.... are....

Kellie Pickler and Derek Hough!

Zendaya and Val Chmerkovskiy were the runners up.... Jacoby Jones and Karina Smirnoff came in third..... Aly Raisman and Mark Ballas finished fourth.

EW.com readers overwhelmingly voted that Kellie should win, but it seemed like the rest of the cast was surprised it wasn't Zendaya in the end. Either would have been so deserving -- and my heart is SWELLING to the size of a fringed butt right now (#sparklebarf) after luxuriating in the natural high provided by those last three dances.

I can't believe those Instant Dances always get to me so much, because on the surface they are so pointless! Everyone always gets a 30. You could fall flat on your butt/heart, or half-ass a leap due to an awkwardly placed camera (as Jacoby did), or bungle the high kick that punctuates the final note of the song (as Kellie did), and without a doubt, you are entitled to "From Len...a 10!" -- which translates roughly to "The only 10 that really matters!"

But they're brilliant! Jacoby, who was soooo over it by the final studio rehearsal, still sucked it up enough to execute an incredible behind-the-back spin/lift with his trademark energetic abandon as Andy Dick's neon yellow bowtie bounced along with him in the front row. Karina had on this random purple belt that served no function -- but if you looked at it long enough, you realized that of course, absolutely there should be an extra horizontal sparkle strip to jive against the technicolor staircase. The instant dance round always sparks up an unexpected last surge of gooey love I have for this show. And at what better time could that happen?!



The complete Dancing With the Stars viewing experience, in 6 seconds (from Vine)

I WILL NEVER NOT THINK SOMEONE IS ABOUT TO DIE BY PERFORMING THIS MOVE.

NEXT: Life Lessons from Val #WhyAmICryingKellie's instant jive was equally lovable and insane. I keep forgetting Derek is a world-renowned gymnast! And I loved how things got a little creepy (but who cares! last dance/last chance for love!) when Bruno couldn't stop raving about the way Kellie reminded him of Julianne, and the incredible chemistry between the Hough siblings. "Accurate precision, technique, the way you play with each other....weird and unbelievably wonderful!"

And then Zendaya's instant jive segment reminded me of every time I've thought the partnership of her and Val was indeed as magical as the judges claimed. I loved how he played "reluctant to have fun" at the beginning of the dance, and how they ended it with her giving him their signature "boop" on the nose. Len, never able to stop obsessing over people's "bits," marveled at "all those twinkly bits" of Zendaya's performance quality. "Spread your wings -- you're gonna fly, girl!" (This is when you knew Kellie had won.)

The tears really started flowing as soon as Zendaya took the opportunity during their final trip up to Brookebot Mountain to tell Val, "Thank you for being part of me growing up." Aggggghhhh! But get this -- she'd had a much more profound effect on him than he had on her!

"Age takes a bite out of your ambition, and your dreams," began Val. "You get a little jaded and slowed down." NO WAY, VAL. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I AGREE. "[Zendaya] inspires not only kids, but adults. She made me dream again, believe in myself again. She gives me purpose, and purpose is everything." OMG, VAL. Thank YOU for helping me achieve my dream of finally relating on a human level to a professional dancer! Now I just need to find a 16-year-old to hang out with all the time. (Not like that.)

One last time, just because:



The Argentine Tang-bro. 2013, metallic on gem (man on man, yellow tank on blue).

NEXT: The Top 7 moments of the finale 

Annie's Top 7 ("Seh-vehhhhn!") Moments of the Season 16 Finale




7. Hidden Gem: Sparkle explosion from that blasted Twitter box during Cheryl and Tony's commercial break ease-in



6. Len Goodman reaching valiantly for the COVETED MIRRORBALL TROPHY during his surprise foxtrot section with the always-randy Lisa Vanderpump

Oh, and let's call this 5.5 or Five and a Hoff:



Len's awkward 0-1 (or 6-1?) self-scoring after the dance with Lisa -- reminiscent of that one time Jimmy Connors accidentally held up an 0-1 for Martina Navritilova!

5. Jacoby's I-don't-give-a-crap-anymore spot-on impression of Oprah in The Color Purple ("All my life I had to fight....") when faced with yet another "Are you surprised you made it this far?" inquiry from Brooke

4. Val's assessment of his own 14-stiches eyebrow situation: "Still pretty."

3. Andy and Sharna, Victor and Lindsay, and Sean and Peta mercifully breathing life into Psy's "Gentleman" dance-along. Len barely swaying along at the top was the best.



2. Getting goosebumps at this magical Ice Queen Reunion -- I loved the dramatic reveal of season 6 winner Kristi Yamaguchi, who was the inspiration for Dorothy Hamill to participate in the series. (Poor Tristan, who is still injured. Take "tree" months and get better, you!)



1. "Carrie Ann gave us a 5. That BITCH!" --Andy Dick

*

Happy with the results? Discuss!







In the meantime, EW.com's Hidden Gems of the Season 16 Finals await your expert appraisal....

'Til autumn, y'all! Thank you as always for reading!

XOXO,
Fringe Fairy

Follow @EWAnnieBarrett

Read more:
All 'DWTS' recaps on EW.com
'DWTS': All Hidden Gems of the Week!
Top 10 'Dancing With the Stars' Pros of All Time -- PHOTOS
Tristan MacManus tours the 'DWTS' rehearsal space -- EXCLUSIVE VIDEO

Annie Barrett's 'DWTS' Facebook page]]></ti.ew:seo-story>
			 
			 <ti.ew:episode-type></ti.ew:episode-type>
			
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars]]></ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword>TV</ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars]]></ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars]]></ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars]]></ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars]]></ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name>
			 
			 
			 
			 <guid><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/dancing-with-the-stars-season-16-finale-kellie-derek-win/]]></guid>
			 <category><![CDATA[TV]]></category>
			 <title type="html"><![CDATA['Dancing With the Stars' season finale recap: Great Mirrorballs of Fire!]]></title>
			 
			 <description type="html"><![CDATA[Aly, Kellie, Jacoby, and Zendaya vie for the most coveted knob of glitter in all the land. The winners are...]]></description>
			 <link><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/dancing-with-the-stars-season-16-finale-kellie-derek-win/]]></link>
			 <pubDate><![CDATA[Wed, 22 May 2013 01:51:40 -0400 ]]></pubDate>
			 <author><![CDATA[Annie Barrett]]></author>			 
			 <ti.ew:excerpt type="html"><![CDATA[After a two-hour finale featuring performances from Wynonna Judd, Pitbull, Jessica Sanchez, and Psy (whoa...what if those were the four finalists?!), we have a winner! The proud owners of a COVETED MIRRORBALL TROPHY.... are....

Kellie Pickler and Derek Hough!

Zendaya and Val Chmerkovskiy were the runners up.... Jacoby Jones and Karina Smirnoff came in third..... Aly Raisman and Mark Ballas finished fourth.

EW.com readers overwhelmingly voted that Kellie should win, but it seemed like the rest of the cast was surprised it wasn't Zendaya in the end. Either would have been so deserving -- and my heart is SWELLING to the size of ......]]></ti.ew:excerpt>
			 <ti.ew:copyright type="html"><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></ti.ew:copyright>
			 <ti.ew:series><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars]]></ti.ew:series>
			 <tvSeries><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars]]></tvSeries>
			 
			 <utcDate><![CDATA[1369187500]]></utcDate>
			 <postID><![CDATA[33519]]></postID>
			 
			 <ti.ew:airdate>Tue, 21 May 2013 00:00:00 +0000</ti.ew:airdate>
			 <ti.ew:airdate-formatted>May 21</ti.ew:airdate-formatted>
			 <ti.ew:content-type>Recap</ti.ew:content-type>
			 <ti.ew:channel>TV</ti.ew:channel>
			 <ti.ew:community-section-name>TV Watch</ti.ew:community-section-name>
			 <ti.ew:eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:eyebrow>			
			 <ti.ew:network><![CDATA[ABC]]></ti.ew:network>
			 <tvNetwork><![CDATA[ABC]]></tvNetwork>
			
			 <ti.ew:communityCommentsID>tvr_33519</ti.ew:communityCommentsID>
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			 <commentBoardId>tvr_33519</commentBoardId>
			 
			 <viewerLink></viewerLink>
			
			 <ti.ew:hilite><![CDATA[Tue, May 21 | ABC]]></ti.ew:hilite>
			 
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			 <ti.ew:image-credit><![CDATA[ABC]]></ti.ew:image-credit>
			 
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-credit>ABC</ti.ew:image-seo-credit>
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-caption>FEEL THIS MOMENT That means you, Mark and Jacoby!</ti.ew:image-seo-caption>
			 
			 <ti.ew:media>TV</ti.ew:media>
			 
			 <ti.ew:starship>NO</ti.ew:starship>
			 <ti.ew:grade>--</ti.ew:grade>
			 
			 <ti.ew:genre>Reality TV</ti.ew:genre>
			 <ti.ew:episode>Episode 19</ti.ew:episode>
			 <ti.ew:season>Season 16</ti.ew:season>			
			 
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			  <media:credit role="photographer"><![CDATA[ABC]]></media:credit>
			  <media:copyright><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></media:copyright>
			  <media:caption type="html"><![CDATA[<p><strong>FEEL THIS MOMENT</strong> That means you, Mark and Jacoby!</p>]]></media:caption>
			 </media:group>
						
			</item>
						
			<item>
			
			 <ti.ew:blog>TV Recaps</ti.ew:blog>
			 <ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>
			 <ti.ew:headline><![CDATA['The Voice' recap: Beginners&#039; (Bad) Luck]]></ti.ew:headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-headline><![CDATA['The Voice' recap: Beginners&#039; (Bad) Luck]]></ti.ew:seo-headline>
			 <ti.ew:headline-sort><![CDATA[Voice' recap: Beginners&#039; (Bad) Luck]]></ti.ew:headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:headline-a>V</ti.ew:headline-a>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline><![CDATA['The Voice' recap: Beginners&#039; (Bad) Luck]]></ti.ew:tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-headline><![CDATA['The Voice' recap: Beginners&#039; (Bad) Luck]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-sort><![CDATA[Voice recap: Beginners&#039; (Bad) Luck]]></ti.ew:tout-headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-a>V</ti.ew:tout-headline-a>
			 
			 <ti.ew:deck><![CDATA[Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton perform, Shakira's hair continues to inspire, and the right two people go home]]></ti.ew:deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-deck><![CDATA[Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton perform, Shakira's hair continues to inspire, and the right two people go home]]></ti.ew:seo-deck>
			 <ti.ew:tout-deck><![CDATA[Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton perform, Shakira's hair continues to inspire, and the right two people go home]]></ti.ew:tout-deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-deck><![CDATA[Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton perform, Shakira's hair continues to inspire, and the right two people go home]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-deck>			 
			 
			 <ti.ew:story><![CDATA[The night starts with Oklahoma native Blake Shelton and his wife Miranda Lambert singing "Over You." Both have tears in their eyes and it's a deeply moving and personal performance. Across the screen reads "To help disaster victims please donate to redcross.org or 1-800 HELP NOW."

After the performance, the live portion of the show begins. Before we talk about the results, your regular <em>Voice</em>-cappers have seriously been watching like a billion hours of this show, so I'm stepping in tonight (and tonight only, probably). If you miss Samantha, check out <a href="http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/so-you-think-you-can-dance-season-10-episode-3/" target="_blank">our <em>SYTYCD</em> recap</a>.

We start with Team Shakira performing "I'll Stand By You." Shakira looks like she belongs in a rock opera in the best possible way! Her sparkly boots and dramatic outfit make a huge impression. It's the least staged of the three performances, but really stresses that Shakira loves and <em>stands by</em> her team. I guess what I'm saying is if they brought back <em>Duets</em> (we can only dream and write letters), Shakira would be great on it. Also, no one doesn't love some good pyrotechnics.

Oh look, there's Michelle Rodriguez and Vin Diesel (could <a href="http://popwatch.ew.com/2013/05/08/fast-furious-entertainment-weekly/">they have a new movie coming out</a>?). Diesel -- wearing sunglasses, of course -- mentions that he and Michelle have been interviewed by Carson for so many years now. Carson glares and sneers, "Don't you EVER bring up my <em><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bmY24rN9kA">TRL</a></em> days again, Diesel. EVER!" Just kidding, he just later makes a joke about the sunglasses (It. is. on.). Diesel also giddily announces that everyone is invited to the <em>Fast and Furious 6</em> premiere tonight and then, as I was about to press "purchase" on my ticket to California, he clarified: everyone in the audience. What up <em>Fast &amp; Furious 6</em> trailer directly after this part of the show? Marketing!

Now it's that time in the show where Carson asks all the coaches how they are feeling. Adam is confident, as he should be. Shakira calls herself a "lioness" when it comes to protecting her own. Samantha mentioned this in her last recap, but Shakira's hair is AMAZING! She legitimately looks like a beautiful lion and on behalf of curly-haired girls everywhere: Shakira, I salute you.

Usher is really nervous and if I were either of his team members I'd say "Dude, at least fake it a little." Blake has no time for playing games with Carson and says that he's getting "ulcers, nausea, and diarrhea." That's, you know, one way to get people not to talk to you.

Confessional time! Most fun part of this show! Carson asks <em>If today <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLQMxgGW_YA">were the day you had to give up singing</a>... what would you do instead?</em> Sheryl Crow would be a professional motorcross racer. Sarah Simmons would make her own sushi. Cee Lo would be a male exotic dancer. Pharrell would be like Willy Wonka with a chocolate factory and then just "add in, like, girls." At the end of this Shakira goes full pretzel (to huge cheers from the audience).



<strong>FIRST TWO SAFE ARTISTS: Danielle Bradbery (duh duh duh duh duh) and Judith Hill (interesting)</strong>

The winner of these three minutes is Sarah Simmons who, instead of giving in to the dramatic pausing in revealing each name, just straight-faces it and shows no emotions. You go girl! Fight the system!

Team Blake performs "Mountain Music." Where's Holly Tucker's plaid shirt? It's a little Chuck E Cheese band in terms of staging, but these guys are incredible country artists (with a capital C) and Danielle predictably kills it. She's safe after all. She should celebrate!

<strong>NEXT: Couches on the stage! Madness! Madness I tell you!</strong>


<strong>NEXT TWO SAVED: Michelle Chamuel (Usher) and Sasha Allen (Shakira)</strong>

Carson asks Amber what she thinks her mom would say to her now. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. If you're gonna rapid-fire question these people, at least make them softball questions! Josiah nodded when Michelle was saved! It's pretty cute. He's cute... but is he cute enough? Okay, moving on.

Team Usher performs "The Look of Love." What a choice! There are couches on the stage! Usher pops up from one of said couches (stars, they're just like us). Don't reality show judges always say not to come off like a lounge singer? Oh well, everyone sounds great. Props to that one extra in the stage audience, who acts really into it whenever the camera is on her. Usher takes off that jacket. Is it sexier when he puts it over his shoulder than when he takes it off? Of course. Michelle's really the only one selling that this is a group performance and not a "Make love to your microphone stand" performance, but maybe that's why she's the safe one.

Oh... hello Christina Milian. Carson refuses to ever pronounce your name the same way twice! How often do you think Christina asks the producers to let her just sing a bar of the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTWv8PjKEJ8"><em>Kim Possible</em> theme song</a> (it kind of pertains to what she does...)? Sasha adorably says that she wants people to tweet her song ideas. You jokesters better not Tweet anything mean (you know who I'm looking at)!

<strong>NEXT SAFE CONTESTANT: Sarah Simmons (Team Adam)</strong>

Team Adam performs "I've Got the Music in Me." Adam's three divas show off the two things they do best: belt those notes and work it! Except for a little confusion with hand movement coordination, these ladies bring it! They also deserve special props for engaging the audience so well.

Carson asks Holly two questions -- after he asked Kris one which makes me too sad to think about knowing what I know now -- first he asks her about her song choice and she says it was important to show how much her faith matters to her. Then, he asks her to tell him about the responses she's been getting from people, given her song choice, after the devastation in Oklahoma Monday. She handles the question very well, saying that people wrote to her that her performance touched them and that her goal is to move people.

<strong>NEXT SAFE: Holly Tucker (Team Blake)</strong>

So... by this point we all feel like we know where this is going. Good thing there are only five minutes left.

Carson asks the Swon Brothers about working together and Colton seems way more nervous than they need to be (Okay, okay, I know it's an elimination night). Zach makes a joke about how if they get eliminated he can just blame his bro, and Colton's like <em>let's just get to the results</em>!

<strong>TWO LEAVING THE SHOW: Josiah and Kris</strong>

<strong>That means Amber Carrington (Team Adam) and The Swon Brothers (Team Blake) are safe!</strong>

So... Shakira and Usher only have one person to focus on. Look, it's their first time! Although Josiah's perfect cheekbones made me swoon, "Clocks" just didn't bring it home. Kris, at least you'll always have Shakira's love!

Did the right people go home? What was your favorite group performance? Let me know!

<a href="https://twitter.com/sarahccaldwell" target="_blank">Sarah on Twitter</a>]]></ti.ew:story>
			 <ti.ew:seo-story><![CDATA[The night starts with Oklahoma native Blake Shelton and his wife Miranda Lambert singing "Over You." Both have tears in their eyes and it's a deeply moving and personal performance. Across the screen reads "To help disaster victims please donate to redcross.org or 1-800 HELP NOW."

After the performance, the live portion of the show begins. Before we talk about the results, your regular Voice-cappers have seriously been watching like a billion hours of this show, so I'm stepping in tonight (and tonight only, probably). If you miss Samantha, check out our SYTYCD recap.

We start with Team Shakira performing "I'll Stand By You." Shakira looks like she belongs in a rock opera in the best possible way! Her sparkly boots and dramatic outfit make a huge impression. It's the least staged of the three performances, but really stresses that Shakira loves and stands by her team. I guess what I'm saying is if they brought back Duets (we can only dream and write letters), Shakira would be great on it. Also, no one doesn't love some good pyrotechnics.

Oh look, there's Michelle Rodriguez and Vin Diesel (could they have a new movie coming out?). Diesel -- wearing sunglasses, of course -- mentions that he and Michelle have been interviewed by Carson for so many years now. Carson glares and sneers, "Don't you EVER bring up my TRL days again, Diesel. EVER!" Just kidding, he just later makes a joke about the sunglasses (It. is. on.). Diesel also giddily announces that everyone is invited to the Fast and Furious 6 premiere tonight and then, as I was about to press "purchase" on my ticket to California, he clarified: everyone in the audience. What up Fast &amp; Furious 6 trailer directly after this part of the show? Marketing!

Now it's that time in the show where Carson asks all the coaches how they are feeling. Adam is confident, as he should be. Shakira calls herself a "lioness" when it comes to protecting her own. Samantha mentioned this in her last recap, but Shakira's hair is AMAZING! She legitimately looks like a beautiful lion and on behalf of curly-haired girls everywhere: Shakira, I salute you.

Usher is really nervous and if I were either of his team members I'd say "Dude, at least fake it a little." Blake has no time for playing games with Carson and says that he's getting "ulcers, nausea, and diarrhea." That's, you know, one way to get people not to talk to you.

Confessional time! Most fun part of this show! Carson asks If today were the day you had to give up singing... what would you do instead? Sheryl Crow would be a professional motorcross racer. Sarah Simmons would make her own sushi. Cee Lo would be a male exotic dancer. Pharrell would be like Willy Wonka with a chocolate factory and then just "add in, like, girls." At the end of this Shakira goes full pretzel (to huge cheers from the audience).



FIRST TWO SAFE ARTISTS: Danielle Bradbery (duh duh duh duh duh) and Judith Hill (interesting)

The winner of these three minutes is Sarah Simmons who, instead of giving in to the dramatic pausing in revealing each name, just straight-faces it and shows no emotions. You go girl! Fight the system!

Team Blake performs "Mountain Music." Where's Holly Tucker's plaid shirt? It's a little Chuck E Cheese band in terms of staging, but these guys are incredible country artists (with a capital C) and Danielle predictably kills it. She's safe after all. She should celebrate!

NEXT: Couches on the stage! Madness! Madness I tell you!


NEXT TWO SAVED: Michelle Chamuel (Usher) and Sasha Allen (Shakira)

Carson asks Amber what she thinks her mom would say to her now. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. If you're gonna rapid-fire question these people, at least make them softball questions! Josiah nodded when Michelle was saved! It's pretty cute. He's cute... but is he cute enough? Okay, moving on.

Team Usher performs "The Look of Love." What a choice! There are couches on the stage! Usher pops up from one of said couches (stars, they're just like us). Don't reality show judges always say not to come off like a lounge singer? Oh well, everyone sounds great. Props to that one extra in the stage audience, who acts really into it whenever the camera is on her. Usher takes off that jacket. Is it sexier when he puts it over his shoulder than when he takes it off? Of course. Michelle's really the only one selling that this is a group performance and not a "Make love to your microphone stand" performance, but maybe that's why she's the safe one.

Oh... hello Christina Milian. Carson refuses to ever pronounce your name the same way twice! How often do you think Christina asks the producers to let her just sing a bar of the Kim Possible theme song (it kind of pertains to what she does...)? Sasha adorably says that she wants people to tweet her song ideas. You jokesters better not Tweet anything mean (you know who I'm looking at)!

NEXT SAFE CONTESTANT: Sarah Simmons (Team Adam)

Team Adam performs "I've Got the Music in Me." Adam's three divas show off the two things they do best: belt those notes and work it! Except for a little confusion with hand movement coordination, these ladies bring it! They also deserve special props for engaging the audience so well.

Carson asks Holly two questions -- after he asked Kris one which makes me too sad to think about knowing what I know now -- first he asks her about her song choice and she says it was important to show how much her faith matters to her. Then, he asks her to tell him about the responses she's been getting from people, given her song choice, after the devastation in Oklahoma Monday. She handles the question very well, saying that people wrote to her that her performance touched them and that her goal is to move people.

NEXT SAFE: Holly Tucker (Team Blake)

So... by this point we all feel like we know where this is going. Good thing there are only five minutes left.

Carson asks the Swon Brothers about working together and Colton seems way more nervous than they need to be (Okay, okay, I know it's an elimination night). Zach makes a joke about how if they get eliminated he can just blame his bro, and Colton's like let's just get to the results!

TWO LEAVING THE SHOW: Josiah and Kris

That means Amber Carrington (Team Adam) and The Swon Brothers (Team Blake) are safe!

So... Shakira and Usher only have one person to focus on. Look, it's their first time! Although Josiah's perfect cheekbones made me swoon, "Clocks" just didn't bring it home. Kris, at least you'll always have Shakira's love!

Did the right people go home? What was your favorite group performance? Let me know!

Sarah on Twitter]]></ti.ew:seo-story>
			 
			 <ti.ew:episode-type>Regular Episode</ti.ew:episode-type>
			
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword><![CDATA[The Voice]]></ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword>TV</ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[The Voice]]></ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[The Voice]]></ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name><![CDATA[The Voice]]></ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name><![CDATA[The Voice]]></ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name>
			 
			 
			 
			 <guid><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/the-voice-season-4-episode-19/]]></guid>
			 <category><![CDATA[TV]]></category>
			 <title type="html"><![CDATA['The Voice' recap: Beginners&#039; (Bad) Luck]]></title>
			 
			 <description type="html"><![CDATA[Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton perform, Shakira's hair continues to inspire, and the right two people go home]]></description>
			 <link><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/the-voice-season-4-episode-19/]]></link>
			 <pubDate><![CDATA[Wed, 22 May 2013 00:01:27 -0400 ]]></pubDate>
			 <author><![CDATA[Sarah Caldwell]]></author>			 
			 <ti.ew:excerpt type="html"><![CDATA[The night starts with Oklahoma native Blake Shelton and his wife Miranda Lambert singing "Over You." Both have tears in their eyes and it's a deeply moving and personal performance. Across the screen reads "To help disaster victims please donate to redcross.org or 1-800 HELP NOW."

After the performance, the live portion of the show begins. Before we talk about the results, your regular Voice-cappers have seriously been watching like a billion hours of this show, so I'm stepping in tonight (and tonight only, probably). If you miss Samantha, check out our SYTYCD recap.

We start with Team Shakira performing "I'll Stand ......]]></ti.ew:excerpt>
			 <ti.ew:copyright type="html"><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></ti.ew:copyright>
			 <ti.ew:series><![CDATA[The Voice]]></ti.ew:series>
			 <tvSeries><![CDATA[The Voice]]></tvSeries>
			 
			 <utcDate><![CDATA[1369180887]]></utcDate>
			 <postID><![CDATA[33498]]></postID>
			 
			 <ti.ew:airdate>Tue, 21 May 2013 00:00:00 +0000</ti.ew:airdate>
			 <ti.ew:airdate-formatted>May 21</ti.ew:airdate-formatted>
			 <ti.ew:content-type>Recap</ti.ew:content-type>
			 <ti.ew:channel>TV</ti.ew:channel>
			 <ti.ew:community-section-name>TV Watch</ti.ew:community-section-name>
			 <ti.ew:eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:eyebrow>			
			 <ti.ew:network><![CDATA[NBC]]></ti.ew:network>
			 <tvNetwork><![CDATA[NBC]]></tvNetwork>
			
			 <ti.ew:communityCommentsID>tvr_33498</ti.ew:communityCommentsID>
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			 <commentBoardId>tvr_33498</commentBoardId>
			 
			 <viewerLink></viewerLink>
			
			 <ti.ew:hilite><![CDATA[Tue, May 21 | NBC]]></ti.ew:hilite>
			 
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			 <ti.ew:image-credit><![CDATA[NBC]]></ti.ew:image-credit>
			 
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-credit>NBC</ti.ew:image-seo-credit>
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-caption>HOMETOWN GLORY Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton remind fans of The Voice to donate to the Red Cross and call 1-800-HELP-NOW.</ti.ew:image-seo-caption>
			 
			 <ti.ew:media>TV</ti.ew:media>
			 
			 <ti.ew:starship>NO</ti.ew:starship>
			 <ti.ew:grade>--</ti.ew:grade>
			 
			 <ti.ew:genre>Reality TV</ti.ew:genre>
			 <ti.ew:episode>Episode 19</ti.ew:episode>
			 <ti.ew:season>Season 4</ti.ew:season>			
			 
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			  <media:credit role="photographer"><![CDATA[NBC]]></media:credit>
			  <media:copyright><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></media:copyright>
			  <media:caption type="html"><![CDATA[<p><strong>HOMETOWN GLORY</strong> Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton remind fans of <em>The Voice</em> to donate to the Red Cross and call 1-800-HELP-NOW.</p>]]></media:caption>
			 </media:group>
						
			</item>
						
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			 <ti.ew:blog>TV Recaps</ti.ew:blog>
			 <ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>
			 <ti.ew:headline><![CDATA['So You Think You Can Dance' recap: A Family Affair]]></ti.ew:headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-headline><![CDATA['So You Think You Can Dance' recap: A Family Affair]]></ti.ew:seo-headline>
			 <ti.ew:headline-sort><![CDATA[So You Think You Can Dance' recap: A Family Affair]]></ti.ew:headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:headline-a>S</ti.ew:headline-a>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline><![CDATA['So You Think You Can Dance' recap: A Family Affair]]></ti.ew:tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-headline><![CDATA['So You Think You Can Dance' recap: A Family Affair]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-sort><![CDATA[So You Think You Can Dance recap: A Family Affair]]></ti.ew:tout-headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-a>S</ti.ew:tout-headline-a>
			 
			 <ti.ew:deck><![CDATA[Season 10 auditions head to L.A. and Austin, where bones break, families unite, and 4 year-olds take over]]></ti.ew:deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-deck><![CDATA[Season 10 auditions head to L.A. and Austin, where bones break, families unite, and 4 year-olds take over]]></ti.ew:seo-deck>
			 <ti.ew:tout-deck><![CDATA[Season 10 auditions head to L.A. and Austin, where bones break, families unite, and 4 year-olds take over]]></ti.ew:tout-deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-deck><![CDATA[Season 10 auditions head to L.A. and Austin, where bones break, families unite, and 4 year-olds take over]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-deck>			 
			 
			 <ti.ew:story><![CDATA[Jesse Tyler Ferguson is back -- along with Nigel's uncomfortable sexual jokes -- and the crew is returning to the hottest city on the <em>So You Think You Can Dance</em> tour.... Welcome to L.A. Or, as I like to call it, the home of the amazing <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYuKSCI7PTU">Eliana</a>.

But despite Eliana's influence, tonight is as much about bone-breaking as it is about ballet, and to kick off what has to be the most painful dance style out there, we have Slick!

<strong>NICHOLAS "SLICK" STEWART, 26
</strong>Originally from Brooklyn, Slick's style is a mix of bone-breaking, hat tricks, slides, and animation. His audition goal? To unleash the beast. And let's just say that he succeeds considering that Mary is already freaking out just from seeing his starting pose. And from there, the loudest judge is all "Oh my goodness me" and "Lord have mercy." After so much joint dislocation that I don't think I can take anymore, bone-breaking newbie Jesse has only one thing to say: "Are you okay?" Slick's good but, much like Mary, he could use a massage. Leaving the judges exhausted and sweaty, Slick gets three stamps of approval.
<strong>Next stop:</strong> Choreography

<strong>ALEX KESSINGER, 18
</strong>After being a foster child at the age of 4, Alex was raised by her aunt, whom she now considers both her mother and her dance teacher. Also, did she just say she won Miss Dance America? Why don't I know what this is? Regardless, Alex delivers a very strong contemporary routine (with hints of jazz?) that has Mary screaming one word and one word only....
<strong>Next stop:</strong> VEGAS!

<strong>SEBASTIAN SERRA, 23
</strong>A member of the Orlando ballet, Sebastian has come to L.A. to make a statement. With a very bright pair of what look like board shorts -- think Fresh Prince of Bel-Air -- and an even brighter routine, Sebastian exudes energy as he proves to the judges that he is a "Puerto Rican jumping bean" as Jesse puts it. It also doesn't hurt that he's very handsome. So long as he promises to trash those shorts (spoiler: he does), Nigel hands Sebastian a not-so-golden golden ticket.
<strong>Next stop:</strong> Vegas!

<strong>MARIIA LEBEDEVA &amp; MISHA SMAGIN, 25 &amp; 23
</strong>Mariia and Misha want us to know that their relationship is strictly professional.... and it's also strictly ballroom. The super sexy duo heats up the stage with a performance that has Mary woo-wooing Mariia right onto the Hot Tamale Train. Both Nigel and Jesse agree that although it's a great pairing, Mariia seems to stand out a little bit more. Regardless, they're both through.
<strong>Next stop:</strong> Vegas!

<strong>NEXT: Bring on the quirkiness</strong>



It's time for my favorite montage: Bring on the quirkiness! First, there's the contemporary Native American hoop dancer, and then we have the ballerina in the chicken suit, and don't let me forget the male ballerina performing the female routine from <em>Esmerelda</em>. And you know what? They're not all bad. But what they all <em>are</em> is unexpected. As Nigel puts it, "What the cluck is going on here?"

Back to business as usual!

<strong>EMILIO "MILLIE" DOSAL, 22
</strong>You might not know Emilio's name, but you probably remember his roommate, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwZJgqLNZlA">Phillip Chbeeb</a>. And with that little tidbit of information, expectations are high for this young man, but luckily, his popping and his animation both prove to be good enough for another look. Also, is this jaw move a new thing? We've now seen it twice, and we're only on episode three.
<strong>Next stop:</strong> Choreography

<strong>MAKENZIE DUSTMAN, 18
</strong>With parents who sing in a jazz vocal group, Makenzie takes the stage while mom and dad look on. Her parents might not sound that great when Nigel asks them to sing (no offense), but Makenzie definitely brings her contemporary A-game. Nigel commends her remarkable technique, and Mary and Jesse agree that she is so <em>So You Think You Can Dance</em>.
<strong>Next stop:</strong> Vegas!

Time for choreography! Emilio and Slick are both put to the test, but only Emilio makes it through to Vegas, along with eight other dancers.

Now it's time to pick everything up, and head on down to Texas for the first-ever Austin auditions, where Minnie Driver joins the judges' panel, and Mary's hair explodes.

<strong>ANTHONY, 4
</strong>This little charmer knows what he's doing when he gets up onstage and tells the judges that he's 18 and currently studying "everything" in high school. Inspired by the oh-so-lovable <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6yXlUFuuFs">Cyrus</a> from season 9, Anthony teaches himself how to dance. And season 24 better look out, because Anthony is a force to be reckoned with. For now, he gets a standing ovation and, after charming Nigel, a pretty awesome present....
<strong>Next stop:</strong> Disney World!! And Nigel is officially the coolest guy in the world.

<strong>NEXT: Minnie Driver takes over</strong>



<strong>HAYLEY ERBERT, 18
</strong>Scared of being too sexy in her routine, Hayley hits the stage for a contemporary routine that isn't at all what I expected. For starters, it's very tasteful and never makes me cringe. The judges agree. Mary compliments her beautiful feet, and Nigel loves her technique. When he goes to say yes to choreography, Minnie quickly interrupts him, "Don't be ridiculous!"
<strong>Next stop:</strong> Vegas! The lesson: What Minnie wants, Minnie gets.

<strong>DONOVAN GIBBS, 18
</strong>In the middle of a financial crisis, Donovan's family chose to give up their home instead of their dance studio, and now he wants to give them hope. And after performing the most passionate audition of the night and bringing a "fire" to the stage, Nigel brings Donovan's mom to his chair and puts dad onstage for a father-son battle. News flash: Dad can MOVE! Luckily, so can his son, and after some minor disagreement on the judges' panel, Mary's deciding vote sends Donovan straight through to Vegas.
<strong>Next stop: </strong>Vegas!

Four more people are through to Vegas after the first day of choreography, and now Minnie is ready to get her <em>Downton Abbey</em> on for day two! Let's see what it has in store ...

<strong>DANNON O'BRIEN, 20
</strong>Dannon not only owns very bright pants, but he has a passion for doing makeup, which he discovered while preparing for his family's annual haunted house for charity. I promise I'm not making this up. The good news is that Dannon's creativity transfers to his audition, and Nigel is captivated. Mary commends Dannon on being engaging, and Minnie thinks he's "clearly meant to do that forever." I guess the makeup will have to wait.
<strong>Next stop:</strong> Vegas!

<strong>SHANE GARCIA, 20
</strong>As a 20 year-old with a speech impediment, Shane finds a new way to communicate -- through movement. And through his experience with dance, Shane has found that he's able to speak more fluidly when he creates a beat for himself. So after fighting his way through a couple of questions from the judges, Shane really starts talking with a bit of (hello again!) bone-breaking and some foot work that brings both Mary and Minnie to tears. Everyone agrees that Shane is a beautiful artist, and now everyone's crying.
<strong>Next stop:</strong> Choreography

<strong>NEXT: A favorite returns to the <em>SYTYCD</em> stage</strong>



<strong>DANIELA BUSTILLOS, 21
</strong>Born in Venezuela, Daniela's mother moved her family to the United States after they were held at gunpoint and shut in a bathroom for two days with only the water from the faucet. Now, with mom in Nigel's chair, Daniela takes the stage to perform a contemporary piece that shows her potential. Mary thinks she needs work in her transitions, but everyone agrees that she has a beautiful start.
<strong>Next stop:</strong> Choreography

Fun fact: Minnie Driver genuinely thinks her hotel is haunted!

<strong>NICK MUCKLEROY, 21
</strong>One of my favorite auditions of the night, Nick reminds me a lot of my all-time favorite, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRU2O2TdgDo">Brandon Bryant</a>, with his incredible control and amazing acrobatics that make the hair on the back of Nigel's neck stand up. Minnie admits that she's a fan, and Mary calls the audition a "religious experience." You know you're good when you get the judges to do a synchronized hand motion three times in a row. Welcome to Vegas, Nick -- who, after he leaves the stage, leaves Minnie and Mary to talk about how he is headed for the Top 20. Do you agree?
<strong>Next stop: </strong>Vegas!

<strong>HAMPTON "EXORCIST" WILLIAMS, 22 + FAMILY
</strong>He's baaack! And this time, he brought friends -- family, to be exact. A favorite from last year's auditions, Hampton returns to the <em>SYTYCD</em> stage with both his 4-year-old daughter and his wife, who is also auditioning. And after Nigel asks Hampton's daughter to dance, both mom and dad can't help but join her onstage for what has to be one of the coolest auditions ever. Can't you just picture them doing this in their living room? Ugh, talented people. With three judges on their feet, this living room jam sesh sends all three family members straight to Vegas (only two of them as actual contestants, of course).
<strong>Next stop:</strong> Vegas!

Back in choreography, Shane and Daniela join nine additional dancers on their way to Vegas!

Okay, now that all the bones have been broken for tonight, who was your favorite audition? And how did Austin rank up to the other cities we've seen thus far?

I will see you back here next week when we head to Boston for another night of auditions full of dancing babies (I hope) and dislocating shoulders (Ouch).

<em>Samantha on Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/samhighfill">@samhighfill</a></em>]]></ti.ew:story>
			 <ti.ew:seo-story><![CDATA[Jesse Tyler Ferguson is back -- along with Nigel's uncomfortable sexual jokes -- and the crew is returning to the hottest city on the So You Think You Can Dance tour.... Welcome to L.A. Or, as I like to call it, the home of the amazing Eliana.

But despite Eliana's influence, tonight is as much about bone-breaking as it is about ballet, and to kick off what has to be the most painful dance style out there, we have Slick!

NICHOLAS "SLICK" STEWART, 26
Originally from Brooklyn, Slick's style is a mix of bone-breaking, hat tricks, slides, and animation. His audition goal? To unleash the beast. And let's just say that he succeeds considering that Mary is already freaking out just from seeing his starting pose. And from there, the loudest judge is all "Oh my goodness me" and "Lord have mercy." After so much joint dislocation that I don't think I can take anymore, bone-breaking newbie Jesse has only one thing to say: "Are you okay?" Slick's good but, much like Mary, he could use a massage. Leaving the judges exhausted and sweaty, Slick gets three stamps of approval.
Next stop: Choreography

ALEX KESSINGER, 18
After being a foster child at the age of 4, Alex was raised by her aunt, whom she now considers both her mother and her dance teacher. Also, did she just say she won Miss Dance America? Why don't I know what this is? Regardless, Alex delivers a very strong contemporary routine (with hints of jazz?) that has Mary screaming one word and one word only....
Next stop: VEGAS!

SEBASTIAN SERRA, 23
A member of the Orlando ballet, Sebastian has come to L.A. to make a statement. With a very bright pair of what look like board shorts -- think Fresh Prince of Bel-Air -- and an even brighter routine, Sebastian exudes energy as he proves to the judges that he is a "Puerto Rican jumping bean" as Jesse puts it. It also doesn't hurt that he's very handsome. So long as he promises to trash those shorts (spoiler: he does), Nigel hands Sebastian a not-so-golden golden ticket.
Next stop: Vegas!

MARIIA LEBEDEVA &amp; MISHA SMAGIN, 25 &amp; 23
Mariia and Misha want us to know that their relationship is strictly professional.... and it's also strictly ballroom. The super sexy duo heats up the stage with a performance that has Mary woo-wooing Mariia right onto the Hot Tamale Train. Both Nigel and Jesse agree that although it's a great pairing, Mariia seems to stand out a little bit more. Regardless, they're both through.
Next stop: Vegas!

NEXT: Bring on the quirkiness



It's time for my favorite montage: Bring on the quirkiness! First, there's the contemporary Native American hoop dancer, and then we have the ballerina in the chicken suit, and don't let me forget the male ballerina performing the female routine from Esmerelda. And you know what? They're not all bad. But what they all are is unexpected. As Nigel puts it, "What the cluck is going on here?"

Back to business as usual!

EMILIO "MILLIE" DOSAL, 22
You might not know Emilio's name, but you probably remember his roommate, Phillip Chbeeb. And with that little tidbit of information, expectations are high for this young man, but luckily, his popping and his animation both prove to be good enough for another look. Also, is this jaw move a new thing? We've now seen it twice, and we're only on episode three.
Next stop: Choreography

MAKENZIE DUSTMAN, 18
With parents who sing in a jazz vocal group, Makenzie takes the stage while mom and dad look on. Her parents might not sound that great when Nigel asks them to sing (no offense), but Makenzie definitely brings her contemporary A-game. Nigel commends her remarkable technique, and Mary and Jesse agree that she is so So You Think You Can Dance.
Next stop: Vegas!

Time for choreography! Emilio and Slick are both put to the test, but only Emilio makes it through to Vegas, along with eight other dancers.

Now it's time to pick everything up, and head on down to Texas for the first-ever Austin auditions, where Minnie Driver joins the judges' panel, and Mary's hair explodes.

ANTHONY, 4
This little charmer knows what he's doing when he gets up onstage and tells the judges that he's 18 and currently studying "everything" in high school. Inspired by the oh-so-lovable Cyrus from season 9, Anthony teaches himself how to dance. And season 24 better look out, because Anthony is a force to be reckoned with. For now, he gets a standing ovation and, after charming Nigel, a pretty awesome present....
Next stop: Disney World!! And Nigel is officially the coolest guy in the world.

NEXT: Minnie Driver takes over



HAYLEY ERBERT, 18
Scared of being too sexy in her routine, Hayley hits the stage for a contemporary routine that isn't at all what I expected. For starters, it's very tasteful and never makes me cringe. The judges agree. Mary compliments her beautiful feet, and Nigel loves her technique. When he goes to say yes to choreography, Minnie quickly interrupts him, "Don't be ridiculous!"
Next stop: Vegas! The lesson: What Minnie wants, Minnie gets.

DONOVAN GIBBS, 18
In the middle of a financial crisis, Donovan's family chose to give up their home instead of their dance studio, and now he wants to give them hope. And after performing the most passionate audition of the night and bringing a "fire" to the stage, Nigel brings Donovan's mom to his chair and puts dad onstage for a father-son battle. News flash: Dad can MOVE! Luckily, so can his son, and after some minor disagreement on the judges' panel, Mary's deciding vote sends Donovan straight through to Vegas.
Next stop: Vegas!

Four more people are through to Vegas after the first day of choreography, and now Minnie is ready to get her Downton Abbey on for day two! Let's see what it has in store ...

DANNON O'BRIEN, 20
Dannon not only owns very bright pants, but he has a passion for doing makeup, which he discovered while preparing for his family's annual haunted house for charity. I promise I'm not making this up. The good news is that Dannon's creativity transfers to his audition, and Nigel is captivated. Mary commends Dannon on being engaging, and Minnie thinks he's "clearly meant to do that forever." I guess the makeup will have to wait.
Next stop: Vegas!

SHANE GARCIA, 20
As a 20 year-old with a speech impediment, Shane finds a new way to communicate -- through movement. And through his experience with dance, Shane has found that he's able to speak more fluidly when he creates a beat for himself. So after fighting his way through a couple of questions from the judges, Shane really starts talking with a bit of (hello again!) bone-breaking and some foot work that brings both Mary and Minnie to tears. Everyone agrees that Shane is a beautiful artist, and now everyone's crying.
Next stop: Choreography

NEXT: A favorite returns to the SYTYCD stage



DANIELA BUSTILLOS, 21
Born in Venezuela, Daniela's mother moved her family to the United States after they were held at gunpoint and shut in a bathroom for two days with only the water from the faucet. Now, with mom in Nigel's chair, Daniela takes the stage to perform a contemporary piece that shows her potential. Mary thinks she needs work in her transitions, but everyone agrees that she has a beautiful start.
Next stop: Choreography

Fun fact: Minnie Driver genuinely thinks her hotel is haunted!

NICK MUCKLEROY, 21
One of my favorite auditions of the night, Nick reminds me a lot of my all-time favorite, Brandon Bryant, with his incredible control and amazing acrobatics that make the hair on the back of Nigel's neck stand up. Minnie admits that she's a fan, and Mary calls the audition a "religious experience." You know you're good when you get the judges to do a synchronized hand motion three times in a row. Welcome to Vegas, Nick -- who, after he leaves the stage, leaves Minnie and Mary to talk about how he is headed for the Top 20. Do you agree?
Next stop: Vegas!

HAMPTON "EXORCIST" WILLIAMS, 22 + FAMILY
He's baaack! And this time, he brought friends -- family, to be exact. A favorite from last year's auditions, Hampton returns to the SYTYCD stage with both his 4-year-old daughter and his wife, who is also auditioning. And after Nigel asks Hampton's daughter to dance, both mom and dad can't help but join her onstage for what has to be one of the coolest auditions ever. Can't you just picture them doing this in their living room? Ugh, talented people. With three judges on their feet, this living room jam sesh sends all three family members straight to Vegas (only two of them as actual contestants, of course).
Next stop: Vegas!

Back in choreography, Shane and Daniela join nine additional dancers on their way to Vegas!

Okay, now that all the bones have been broken for tonight, who was your favorite audition? And how did Austin rank up to the other cities we've seen thus far?

I will see you back here next week when we head to Boston for another night of auditions full of dancing babies (I hope) and dislocating shoulders (Ouch).

Samantha on Twitter: @samhighfill]]></ti.ew:seo-story>
			 
			 <ti.ew:episode-type>Regular Episode</ti.ew:episode-type>
			
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword><![CDATA[So You Think You Can Dance]]></ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword>TV</ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[So You Think You Can Dance]]></ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[So You Think You Can Dance]]></ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name><![CDATA[So You Think You Can Dance]]></ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name><![CDATA[So You Think You Can Dance]]></ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name>
			 
			 
			 
			 <guid><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/so-you-think-you-can-dance-season-10-episode-3/]]></guid>
			 <category><![CDATA[TV]]></category>
			 <title type="html"><![CDATA['So You Think You Can Dance' recap: A Family Affair]]></title>
			 
			 <description type="html"><![CDATA[Season 10 auditions head to L.A. and Austin, where bones break, families unite, and 4 year-olds take over]]></description>
			 <link><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/so-you-think-you-can-dance-season-10-episode-3/]]></link>
			 <pubDate><![CDATA[Tue, 21 May 2013 23:24:27 -0400 ]]></pubDate>
			 <author><![CDATA[Samantha Highfill]]></author>			 
			 <ti.ew:excerpt type="html"><![CDATA[Jesse Tyler Ferguson is back -- along with Nigel's uncomfortable sexual jokes -- and the crew is returning to the hottest city on the So You Think You Can Dance tour.... Welcome to L.A. Or, as I like to call it, the home of the amazing Eliana.

But despite Eliana's influence, tonight is as much about bone-breaking as it is about ballet, and to kick off what has to be the most painful dance style out there, we have Slick!

NICHOLAS "SLICK" STEWART, 26
Originally from Brooklyn, Slick's style is a mix of bone-breaking, hat tricks, slides, and animation. His audition goal? To ......]]></ti.ew:excerpt>
			 <ti.ew:copyright type="html"><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></ti.ew:copyright>
			 <ti.ew:series><![CDATA[So You Think You Can Dance]]></ti.ew:series>
			 <tvSeries><![CDATA[So You Think You Can Dance]]></tvSeries>
			 
			 <utcDate><![CDATA[1369178667]]></utcDate>
			 <postID><![CDATA[33495]]></postID>
			 
			 <ti.ew:airdate>Tue, 21 May 2013 00:00:00 +0000</ti.ew:airdate>
			 <ti.ew:airdate-formatted>May 21</ti.ew:airdate-formatted>
			 <ti.ew:content-type>Recap</ti.ew:content-type>
			 <ti.ew:channel>TV</ti.ew:channel>
			 <ti.ew:community-section-name>TV Watch</ti.ew:community-section-name>
			 <ti.ew:eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:eyebrow>			
			 <ti.ew:network><![CDATA[Fox]]></ti.ew:network>
			 <tvNetwork><![CDATA[Fox]]></tvNetwork>
			
			 <ti.ew:communityCommentsID>tvr_33495</ti.ew:communityCommentsID>
			 <ti.ew:community-resource-id>tvr_33495</ti.ew:community-resource-id>			
			 <commentBoardId>tvr_33495</commentBoardId>
			 
			 <viewerLink></viewerLink>
			
			 <ti.ew:hilite><![CDATA[Tue, May 21 | Fox]]></ti.ew:hilite>
			 
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			 <ti.ew:image-credit><![CDATA[Fox]]></ti.ew:image-credit>
			 
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-credit>Fox</ti.ew:image-seo-credit>
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-caption>PRETTY IN PINK 18-year-old Alex Kessinger performs an audition worthy of only one result: Vegas!</ti.ew:image-seo-caption>
			 
			 <ti.ew:media>TV</ti.ew:media>
			 
			 <ti.ew:starship>NO</ti.ew:starship>
			 <ti.ew:grade>--</ti.ew:grade>
			 
			 <ti.ew:genre>Reality TV</ti.ew:genre>
			 <ti.ew:episode>Episode 03</ti.ew:episode>
			 <ti.ew:season>Season 10</ti.ew:season>			
			 
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			  <media:credit role="photographer"><![CDATA[Fox]]></media:credit>
			  <media:copyright><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></media:copyright>
			  <media:caption type="html"><![CDATA[<p><strong>PRETTY IN PINK</strong> 18-year-old Alex Kessinger performs an audition worthy of only one result: Vegas!</p>]]></media:caption>
			 </media:group>
						
			</item>
						
			<item>
			
			 <ti.ew:blog>TV Recaps</ti.ew:blog>
			 <ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>
			 <ti.ew:headline><![CDATA['Dancing With the Stars' recap: Blood, Sparklebarf and Tears]]></ti.ew:headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-headline><![CDATA['Dancing With the Stars' recap: Blood, Sparklebarf and Tears]]></ti.ew:seo-headline>
			 <ti.ew:headline-sort><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars' recap: Blood, Sparklebarf and Tears]]></ti.ew:headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:headline-a>D</ti.ew:headline-a>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline><![CDATA['Dancing With the Stars' recap: Blood, Sparklebarf and Tears]]></ti.ew:tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-headline><![CDATA['Dancing With the Stars' recap: Blood, Sparklebarf and Tears]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-sort><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars recap: Blood, Sparklebarf and Tears]]></ti.ew:tout-headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-a>D</ti.ew:tout-headline-a>
			 
			 <ti.ew:deck><![CDATA[Four couples serve up 'supersize freestyles' in the emotional season 16 finals; Val tries not to bleed out]]></ti.ew:deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-deck><![CDATA[Four couples serve up 'supersize freestyles' in the emotional season 16 finals; Val tries not to bleed out]]></ti.ew:seo-deck>
			 <ti.ew:tout-deck><![CDATA[Four couples serve up 'supersize freestyles' in the emotional season 16 finals; Val tries not to bleed out]]></ti.ew:tout-deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-deck><![CDATA[Four couples serve up 'supersize freestyles' in the emotional season 16 finals; Val tries not to bleed out]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-deck>			 
			 
			 <ti.ew:story><![CDATA[It's that time of the year, DANCMSTRs -- the pollen count is high, everyone's costume suddenly reminds you of the swimsuit you soon have to put on, and the two giant replicas of THE COVETED MIRRORBALL TROPHY look like teed-up golf balls. Welcome to the season 16 finals!

Hope you didn't want to vote on ABC.com, though. Voting was "temporarily down" at the end of the east coast telecast, and at present (6:05 a.m. ET -- dear God what am I doing with my life) ABC.com is still redirecting would-be voters to its Facebook page. Not good at all.

<em>Will the judges please reveal their scores? Carrie Ann Inahhhh-ber!</em>

<strong>Zendaya and Val Chmerkovskiy: 30/30 samba + 5/5 cha cha relay + 30/30 freestyle = 65/65</strong> Who could pull off hairy red tights but a model-esque 16-year-old? Those things boggled my mind. I don't believe we've ever seen fringed leggings on this show. Fringed pants, of course, and there was that one time Kym had a puzzling fringe snake wrapped in a spiral down one leg. But fringed leggings are some next-level s---. And the crazy thing is they looked perfectly natural during this slinky and sexy samba.

Carrie Ann, who'd helped the couple out in the studio (by basically making Zendaya put on her high heels), complimented the lanky wonder on "working her center" and rising up to the challenge of "authentic samba music" (though shouldn't it be easier to dance to authentic samba music than a pop song that makes no sense?), and Bruno compared Zendaya to the pros. Len sat back, pointed, and decided, "That's a samba," which is really the highest compliment coming from the head judge: a jaunty confirmation of which dance was just performed.

After breezily winning the cha cha relay in a startlingly age-appropriate costume, Zendaya took on a hefty challenge for the freestyle: "The theme is to inspire kids," announced Val, "So why don't we have some kids help you relay the message?" Like Len, I was scared this would be a supersize group hip-hop, but it turned out the adorable kids would only punctuate the ending. Val choreographed a strong routine for Zendaya and her mirrorball trophy tennis shoes -- I liked how he boldly positioned them right in front of the judges' table for dozens more ballroom moves than you'd expect in a typical freestyle.

After much hemming and hawing on my part, Zendaya and Val are <a href="http://bit.ly/14LuB5u" target="_blank">not my pick to win</a>, but they are totally deserving if they do win, and Val deserves a trophy just for competing after an accidental elbow to the eye during dress rehearsal.

<a href="http://ewpopwatch.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/dwts-bloody-valentine.jpg"><img alt="DWTS-Bloody-VALentine" src="http://ewpopwatch.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/dwts-bloody-valentine.jpg" width="400" height="248" /></a>

<em>Aggggh! <a href="http://twitpic.com/cs1zzi" target="_blank">Not the face</a>! </em>(Crew guy shares my grave concern for one of Val's best assets.)

Brooke's unintentional (I think?!) reference to Val's blood, when she asked how Zendaya had been able to "squeeze that out and focus" on her dances, was both gross and amazing.

<strong>NEXT: 'I'll never let go, Derek'</strong> <strong>Kellie Pickler and Derek Hough: 30/30 quickstep + 4/5 cha cha relay + 30/30 freestyle = 64/65</strong> The judges were looking for more body contact in the quickstep, so Len Goodman, the mean old horny principal of Sparkle School, dropped by rehearsal to teach Kellie about sex and dancing: "He's got a knobbly bit here...Your knobbly bit should be just to this side of his knobbly bit." Len was so hot and bothered following their perfect-30 liiiiiiive performance that he almost flatulated. Only Bruno and Carrie Ann know if that "almost" part was a lie.

This quickstep was seriously loaded with content and I was so glad these first-round dances got to be so long. The Big Band music made it seem even faster and more exciting. You gotta hand it to Derek for his expert orchestration of routines like this, when it's like he's conducting the band along with the dance, and doing it all through the showcasing of his partner's strengths. "Like a stamp on a <em>lettah</em>!" cried Len, clearly impressed with Kellie and Derek's magnetic knobbly bit connection.

Derek's decision to go with a stripped-down production on a "supersize freestyle" was a game-changer -- the gimmick was that there was no gimmick. Damnit, Derek! How do you do that? Focusing on "the power of the dance" for what's considered the most important routine of the season naturally elevated Kellie's emotional engagement with it, and that's what her <em>DWTS</em> Journey has been all about. Genius!

This dance had everything: crazy fast spins, super extensions, a "climb," and an improvisation on the classic Kate-Leo forward-lean from <em>Titanic</em> that had Kellie perched at nearly a 180-degree angle from Derek as he held only her feet! <em>Oh dear God, her abs</em>, was all I could think as her core strength worked overtime. They looked like a set mousetrap.

I cried! Kellie's husband Kyle cried! Carrie Ann, as usual, had been crying since the show began! "One of the most beautiful things I've ever seen," she raved through the tears. <em>#Sparklebarf.</em> "A contemporary work of art," agreed Bruno. "Good dancing engages the brain. Great dancing engages the heart," said Len, who must have appreciated this far cry from <a href="http://bit.ly/16QxVAj" target="_blank">the hazy red paso doble trio he'd hated from Derek</a> earlier this season.

"If [Len] gives you a seven tonight, I'm killing myself," announced Tom. Whoa! Suicide by seh<em>-vehhhhhhhn!</em> What a way to go.

<strong>NEXT: Mark makes Aly's pole-dancing debut about his own fake fear of heights</strong> <strong>Aly Raisman and Mark Ballas: 28/30 + 3/5 cha cha relay + 30/30 freestyle = 61/65</strong> Bruno's voice is so much lower when he's not yelling! I always forget that. The poetic judge dressed down in a tank top to fit in at the Pajama Zone (the <em>DWTS</em> rehearsal complex) and waxed philosophical about the importance of elasticity and sharpness in the samba. "Come back and <em>tszuj</em> it! Don't anti-cee-<em>pate</em> it!" I have to say, he was making a lot of sense. I especially liked when he trilled "It's hard..." (re: a samba roll) while sharing a knowing glance with Mark.

I think it's clear Aly is not a better dancer than Kellie or Zendaya, but I love that she and Mark are having such a great time. Other partners of his have shied away in embarrassment at all his flash and fish-faced absurdity, but Aly has remarkably just gone with it. She's really grown fond of that "vertical breaststroke" down-and-dirty move that she apparently now insists on putting into routines on her own. That's ballroom commitment right there.

Anyone who's able to look at Mark's ridiculous tail (what exactly did he have to kill to make that belt?) and crotch fringe (DON'T EVER SAY CROTCH FRINGE AGAIN) without guffawing deserves a 10 -- at least from Bruno -- in my book. And to go along with those hideous spangly nude-colored boyshorts as part of her own costume? Aly, hips don't lie and neither did those underclothes. It looked like your bare butt was shimmering and that is all.

"You scrumptious little tease, you!" cried Bruno, while Carrie Ann called Aly "sort of the combination of everyone else in the finale," meaning Jacoby's swagger, Kellie's beautiful lines, and Zendaya's musicality and sensuality. I'm not sure if that's accurate, but it makes one hell of a soundbite that'll be repeated during tonight's finale.

The only thing more outlandish than Aly and Mark's "futuristic pole dancers" supersize freestyle was the way Mark pretended he was nervous about the apparatus. The guy INSISTED ON POLE DANCING because it's a vertical expression of the uneven parallel bars (a.k.a. it's one of his hobbies) and then CRUMBLED UNDER THE PRESSURE upon seeing the very poles he himself had designed. "No. I can't imagine. I hate heights," he choked out. Buddy, who are you kidding here? You did this to yourself!

Throughout Mark's internal exploration of his life choices -- <em>To pole dance or not to pole dance? That is the question.</em> -- Aly just stood there not buyin' it at all, like "Uhhh. Let's just not do it, then." I love that she never indulged him, not once.

After Mark had reiterated the peril they were in to <del>hear himself say it</del> Aly ("If you miss, you're f---ed. You understand?" Yes! She gets it!) and slipped on a single glove and shiny black capri pants, the pair was ready to sex it up. But as a bonus challenge, <em>the poles were moving</em>. They seemed to have only a vague relationship with the ground and/or gravity! Had Mark sadomasochistically insisted the poles be really wiggly? The whole production was such a freak show that I had to love it. I hope you understand.

"Back in the day, I worked on a pole. That is not easy to do," said Carrie Ann. Truth bomb!

<strong>NEXT: Jacoby wonders why he can't just relax and eat the peanut</strong> <strong>Jacoby Jones and Karina Smirnoff: 27/30 jive + 2/5 cha cha relay + 27/30 freestyle = 56/65</strong> Jacoby's "light-skinned grandfather" Len Goodman attempted to help with the NFL star's jive footwork. "How would you kick up a peanut? Ping! Ping! Kick a peanut!" Karina was impressed with her partner's instant progress. And Jacoby vowed to keep it up come showtime: "I wanna show Len that I can crack peanuts." <em>Why do these giants want to annihilate me...in different ways?!</em> wondered Ingo Rademacher's son.

Indeed, Jacoby's problem in the jive was that he stomping his feet instead of more delicately placing them -- and the temporary turnout of his pigeon toes hadn't lasted, either. Len said Jacoby "got excited and lost it," while Bruno called him out for being off-beat and flat-footed.

Jacoby's energy and Karina's choreography remain compelling, though -- and to me they were the stars of the cha cha relay for incorporating two other couples into their dance section so that the relay played out like a collaborative effort. Karina can make anyone look good, basically. "Jacoby, you're a wild ride!" Carrie Ann exclaimed after he proved once again that he could both leap over people and slide between their legs. He's a versatile ballroom dancer.

Likewise, Jacoby and Karina's supersize freestyle was a better showcase for others -- tapping kids! that pirouette princess we met before! ...Tony?! -- than it was a dazzling display of Jacoby's own dance prowess. But the production itself was so much fun -- "like watching a Mardi Gras parade down Bourbon Street!" confirmed Bruno. The spirited homage to Captain Underpants' hometown was well worth all that extra party-planning.

See you tonight for the last recap of the season! Can you freaking believe it?

<strong><a href="http://bit.ly/14LuB5u" target="_blank">'Dancing With the Stars': Who should win season 16? -- POLL</a></strong>

<em>Nominate your hidden gems by 2 p.m. ET <a href="http://popwatch.ew.com/2013/05/20/dwts-season-16-finals-discussion-freestyles/" target="_blank">over on PopWatch</a>.</em>

XOXO,
<a href="http://on.fb.me/QCZaYj" target="_blank">Fringe Fairy</a>

<a class="twitter-follow-button" href="https://twitter.com/EWAnnieBarrett">Follow @EWAnnieBarrett</a>

<strong>Read more:
</strong><a href="http://insidetv.ew.com/2013/05/20/dancing-with-the-stars-addresses-oklahoma-tornado/" target="_blank">'Dancing With the Stars': Moment of silence following Oklahoma City tornado</a><strong>
</strong><a href="http://tvrecaps.ew.com/tv-show/dancing-with-the-stars-2/" target="_blank">All 'DWTS' recaps on EW.com</a>
<a href="http://popwatch.ew.com/tag/hidden-gems-uncategorized/" target="_blank">'DWTS': All Hidden Gems of the Week!</a>
<a href="http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20356896_20687086,00.html" target="_blank">Top 10 'Dancing With the Stars' Pros of All Time -- PHOTOS</a><strong>
</strong><a href="http://bit.ly/Zy46hM" target="_blank">Tristan MacManus tours the 'DWTS' rehearsal space -- EXCLUSIVE VIDEO</a>

<em><a href="http://on.fb.me/QCZaYj" target="_blank">Annie Barrett's 'DWTS' Facebook page</a></em>]]></ti.ew:story>
			 <ti.ew:seo-story><![CDATA[It's that time of the year, DANCMSTRs -- the pollen count is high, everyone's costume suddenly reminds you of the swimsuit you soon have to put on, and the two giant replicas of THE COVETED MIRRORBALL TROPHY look like teed-up golf balls. Welcome to the season 16 finals!

Hope you didn't want to vote on ABC.com, though. Voting was "temporarily down" at the end of the east coast telecast, and at present (6:05 a.m. ET -- dear God what am I doing with my life) ABC.com is still redirecting would-be voters to its Facebook page. Not good at all.

Will the judges please reveal their scores? Carrie Ann Inahhhh-ber!

Zendaya and Val Chmerkovskiy: 30/30 samba + 5/5 cha cha relay + 30/30 freestyle = 65/65 Who could pull off hairy red tights but a model-esque 16-year-old? Those things boggled my mind. I don't believe we've ever seen fringed leggings on this show. Fringed pants, of course, and there was that one time Kym had a puzzling fringe snake wrapped in a spiral down one leg. But fringed leggings are some next-level s---. And the crazy thing is they looked perfectly natural during this slinky and sexy samba.

Carrie Ann, who'd helped the couple out in the studio (by basically making Zendaya put on her high heels), complimented the lanky wonder on "working her center" and rising up to the challenge of "authentic samba music" (though shouldn't it be easier to dance to authentic samba music than a pop song that makes no sense?), and Bruno compared Zendaya to the pros. Len sat back, pointed, and decided, "That's a samba," which is really the highest compliment coming from the head judge: a jaunty confirmation of which dance was just performed.

After breezily winning the cha cha relay in a startlingly age-appropriate costume, Zendaya took on a hefty challenge for the freestyle: "The theme is to inspire kids," announced Val, "So why don't we have some kids help you relay the message?" Like Len, I was scared this would be a supersize group hip-hop, but it turned out the adorable kids would only punctuate the ending. Val choreographed a strong routine for Zendaya and her mirrorball trophy tennis shoes -- I liked how he boldly positioned them right in front of the judges' table for dozens more ballroom moves than you'd expect in a typical freestyle.

After much hemming and hawing on my part, Zendaya and Val are not my pick to win, but they are totally deserving if they do win, and Val deserves a trophy just for competing after an accidental elbow to the eye during dress rehearsal.



Aggggh! Not the face! (Crew guy shares my grave concern for one of Val's best assets.)

Brooke's unintentional (I think?!) reference to Val's blood, when she asked how Zendaya had been able to "squeeze that out and focus" on her dances, was both gross and amazing.

NEXT: 'I'll never let go, Derek' Kellie Pickler and Derek Hough: 30/30 quickstep + 4/5 cha cha relay + 30/30 freestyle = 64/65 The judges were looking for more body contact in the quickstep, so Len Goodman, the mean old horny principal of Sparkle School, dropped by rehearsal to teach Kellie about sex and dancing: "He's got a knobbly bit here...Your knobbly bit should be just to this side of his knobbly bit." Len was so hot and bothered following their perfect-30 liiiiiiive performance that he almost flatulated. Only Bruno and Carrie Ann know if that "almost" part was a lie.

This quickstep was seriously loaded with content and I was so glad these first-round dances got to be so long. The Big Band music made it seem even faster and more exciting. You gotta hand it to Derek for his expert orchestration of routines like this, when it's like he's conducting the band along with the dance, and doing it all through the showcasing of his partner's strengths. "Like a stamp on a lettah!" cried Len, clearly impressed with Kellie and Derek's magnetic knobbly bit connection.

Derek's decision to go with a stripped-down production on a "supersize freestyle" was a game-changer -- the gimmick was that there was no gimmick. Damnit, Derek! How do you do that? Focusing on "the power of the dance" for what's considered the most important routine of the season naturally elevated Kellie's emotional engagement with it, and that's what her DWTS Journey has been all about. Genius!

This dance had everything: crazy fast spins, super extensions, a "climb," and an improvisation on the classic Kate-Leo forward-lean from Titanic that had Kellie perched at nearly a 180-degree angle from Derek as he held only her feet! Oh dear God, her abs, was all I could think as her core strength worked overtime. They looked like a set mousetrap.

I cried! Kellie's husband Kyle cried! Carrie Ann, as usual, had been crying since the show began! "One of the most beautiful things I've ever seen," she raved through the tears. #Sparklebarf. "A contemporary work of art," agreed Bruno. "Good dancing engages the brain. Great dancing engages the heart," said Len, who must have appreciated this far cry from the hazy red paso doble trio he'd hated from Derek earlier this season.

"If [Len] gives you a seven tonight, I'm killing myself," announced Tom. Whoa! Suicide by seh-vehhhhhhhn! What a way to go.

NEXT: Mark makes Aly's pole-dancing debut about his own fake fear of heights Aly Raisman and Mark Ballas: 28/30 + 3/5 cha cha relay + 30/30 freestyle = 61/65 Bruno's voice is so much lower when he's not yelling! I always forget that. The poetic judge dressed down in a tank top to fit in at the Pajama Zone (the DWTS rehearsal complex) and waxed philosophical about the importance of elasticity and sharpness in the samba. "Come back and tszuj it! Don't anti-cee-pate it!" I have to say, he was making a lot of sense. I especially liked when he trilled "It's hard..." (re: a samba roll) while sharing a knowing glance with Mark.

I think it's clear Aly is not a better dancer than Kellie or Zendaya, but I love that she and Mark are having such a great time. Other partners of his have shied away in embarrassment at all his flash and fish-faced absurdity, but Aly has remarkably just gone with it. She's really grown fond of that "vertical breaststroke" down-and-dirty move that she apparently now insists on putting into routines on her own. That's ballroom commitment right there.

Anyone who's able to look at Mark's ridiculous tail (what exactly did he have to kill to make that belt?) and crotch fringe (DON'T EVER SAY CROTCH FRINGE AGAIN) without guffawing deserves a 10 -- at least from Bruno -- in my book. And to go along with those hideous spangly nude-colored boyshorts as part of her own costume? Aly, hips don't lie and neither did those underclothes. It looked like your bare butt was shimmering and that is all.

"You scrumptious little tease, you!" cried Bruno, while Carrie Ann called Aly "sort of the combination of everyone else in the finale," meaning Jacoby's swagger, Kellie's beautiful lines, and Zendaya's musicality and sensuality. I'm not sure if that's accurate, but it makes one hell of a soundbite that'll be repeated during tonight's finale.

The only thing more outlandish than Aly and Mark's "futuristic pole dancers" supersize freestyle was the way Mark pretended he was nervous about the apparatus. The guy INSISTED ON POLE DANCING because it's a vertical expression of the uneven parallel bars (a.k.a. it's one of his hobbies) and then CRUMBLED UNDER THE PRESSURE upon seeing the very poles he himself had designed. "No. I can't imagine. I hate heights," he choked out. Buddy, who are you kidding here? You did this to yourself!

Throughout Mark's internal exploration of his life choices -- To pole dance or not to pole dance? That is the question. -- Aly just stood there not buyin' it at all, like "Uhhh. Let's just not do it, then." I love that she never indulged him, not once.

After Mark had reiterated the peril they were in to hear himself say it Aly ("If you miss, you're f---ed. You understand?" Yes! She gets it!) and slipped on a single glove and shiny black capri pants, the pair was ready to sex it up. But as a bonus challenge, the poles were moving. They seemed to have only a vague relationship with the ground and/or gravity! Had Mark sadomasochistically insisted the poles be really wiggly? The whole production was such a freak show that I had to love it. I hope you understand.

"Back in the day, I worked on a pole. That is not easy to do," said Carrie Ann. Truth bomb!

NEXT: Jacoby wonders why he can't just relax and eat the peanut Jacoby Jones and Karina Smirnoff: 27/30 jive + 2/5 cha cha relay + 27/30 freestyle = 56/65 Jacoby's "light-skinned grandfather" Len Goodman attempted to help with the NFL star's jive footwork. "How would you kick up a peanut? Ping! Ping! Kick a peanut!" Karina was impressed with her partner's instant progress. And Jacoby vowed to keep it up come showtime: "I wanna show Len that I can crack peanuts." Why do these giants want to annihilate me...in different ways?! wondered Ingo Rademacher's son.

Indeed, Jacoby's problem in the jive was that he stomping his feet instead of more delicately placing them -- and the temporary turnout of his pigeon toes hadn't lasted, either. Len said Jacoby "got excited and lost it," while Bruno called him out for being off-beat and flat-footed.

Jacoby's energy and Karina's choreography remain compelling, though -- and to me they were the stars of the cha cha relay for incorporating two other couples into their dance section so that the relay played out like a collaborative effort. Karina can make anyone look good, basically. "Jacoby, you're a wild ride!" Carrie Ann exclaimed after he proved once again that he could both leap over people and slide between their legs. He's a versatile ballroom dancer.

Likewise, Jacoby and Karina's supersize freestyle was a better showcase for others -- tapping kids! that pirouette princess we met before! ...Tony?! -- than it was a dazzling display of Jacoby's own dance prowess. But the production itself was so much fun -- "like watching a Mardi Gras parade down Bourbon Street!" confirmed Bruno. The spirited homage to Captain Underpants' hometown was well worth all that extra party-planning.

See you tonight for the last recap of the season! Can you freaking believe it?

'Dancing With the Stars': Who should win season 16? -- POLL

Nominate your hidden gems by 2 p.m. ET over on PopWatch.

XOXO,
Fringe Fairy

Follow @EWAnnieBarrett

Read more:
'Dancing With the Stars': Moment of silence following Oklahoma City tornado
All 'DWTS' recaps on EW.com
'DWTS': All Hidden Gems of the Week!
Top 10 'Dancing With the Stars' Pros of All Time -- PHOTOS
Tristan MacManus tours the 'DWTS' rehearsal space -- EXCLUSIVE VIDEO

Annie Barrett's 'DWTS' Facebook page]]></ti.ew:seo-story>
			 
			 <ti.ew:episode-type>Regular Episode</ti.ew:episode-type>
			
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars]]></ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword>TV</ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars]]></ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars]]></ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars]]></ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars]]></ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name>
			 
			 
			 
			 <guid><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/dancing-with-the-stars-season-16-finals-freestyles/]]></guid>
			 <category><![CDATA[TV]]></category>
			 <title type="html"><![CDATA['Dancing With the Stars' recap: Blood, Sparklebarf and Tears]]></title>
			 
			 <description type="html"><![CDATA[Four couples serve up 'supersize freestyles' in the emotional season 16 finals; Val tries not to bleed out]]></description>
			 <link><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/dancing-with-the-stars-season-16-finals-freestyles/]]></link>
			 <pubDate><![CDATA[Tue, 21 May 2013 05:45:22 -0400 ]]></pubDate>
			 <author><![CDATA[Annie Barrett]]></author>			 
			 <ti.ew:excerpt type="html"><![CDATA[It's that time of the year, DANCMSTRs -- the pollen count is high, everyone's costume suddenly reminds you of the swimsuit you soon have to put on, and the two giant replicas of THE COVETED MIRRORBALL TROPHY look like teed-up golf balls. Welcome to the season 16 finals!

Hope you didn't want to vote on ABC.com, though. Voting was "temporarily down" at the end of the east coast telecast, and at present (6:05 a.m. ET -- dear God what am I doing with my life) ABC.com is still redirecting would-be voters to its Facebook page. Not good at all.

Will the judges ......]]></ti.ew:excerpt>
			 <ti.ew:copyright type="html"><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></ti.ew:copyright>
			 <ti.ew:series><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars]]></ti.ew:series>
			 <tvSeries><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars]]></tvSeries>
			 
			 <utcDate><![CDATA[1369115122]]></utcDate>
			 <postID><![CDATA[33472]]></postID>
			 
			 <ti.ew:airdate>Mon, 20 May 2013 00:00:00 +0000</ti.ew:airdate>
			 <ti.ew:airdate-formatted>May 20</ti.ew:airdate-formatted>
			 <ti.ew:content-type>Recap</ti.ew:content-type>
			 <ti.ew:channel>TV</ti.ew:channel>
			 <ti.ew:community-section-name>TV Watch</ti.ew:community-section-name>
			 <ti.ew:eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:eyebrow>			
			 <ti.ew:network><![CDATA[ABC]]></ti.ew:network>
			 <tvNetwork><![CDATA[ABC]]></tvNetwork>
			
			 <ti.ew:communityCommentsID>tvr_33472</ti.ew:communityCommentsID>
			 <ti.ew:community-resource-id>tvr_33472</ti.ew:community-resource-id>			
			 <commentBoardId>tvr_33472</commentBoardId>
			 
			 <viewerLink></viewerLink>
			
			 <ti.ew:hilite><![CDATA[Mon, May 20 | ABC]]></ti.ew:hilite>
			 
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			 <ti.ew:image-credit><![CDATA[ABC]]></ti.ew:image-credit>
			 
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-credit>ABC</ti.ew:image-seo-credit>
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-caption>MY BLOODY VAL-ENTINE Zendaya's wounded partner attempts to hide his facial battle scar after the cha cha relay.</ti.ew:image-seo-caption>
			 
			 <ti.ew:media>TV</ti.ew:media>
			 
			 <ti.ew:starship>NO</ti.ew:starship>
			 <ti.ew:grade>--</ti.ew:grade>
			 
			 <ti.ew:genre>Reality TV</ti.ew:genre>
			 <ti.ew:episode>Episode 18</ti.ew:episode>
			 <ti.ew:season>Season 16</ti.ew:season>			
			 
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			  <media:caption type="html"><![CDATA[<p><strong>MY BLOODY VAL-ENTINE</strong> Zendaya's wounded partner attempts to hide his facial battle scar after the cha cha relay.</p>]]></media:caption>
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			 <ti.ew:blog>TV Recaps</ti.ew:blog>
			 <ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>
			 <ti.ew:headline><![CDATA['The Voice' recap: Letting Loose]]></ti.ew:headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-headline><![CDATA['The Voice' recap: Letting Loose]]></ti.ew:seo-headline>
			 <ti.ew:headline-sort><![CDATA[Voice' recap: Letting Loose]]></ti.ew:headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:headline-a>V</ti.ew:headline-a>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline><![CDATA['The Voice' recap: Letting Loose]]></ti.ew:tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-headline><![CDATA['The Voice' recap: Letting Loose]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-sort><![CDATA[Voice recap: Letting Loose]]></ti.ew:tout-headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-a>V</ti.ew:tout-headline-a>
			 
			 <ti.ew:deck><![CDATA[The Top 10 let their hair down and deliver the fun, unexpected performances we've been waiting for]]></ti.ew:deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-deck><![CDATA[The Top 10 let their hair down and deliver the fun, unexpected performances we've been waiting for]]></ti.ew:seo-deck>
			 <ti.ew:tout-deck><![CDATA[The Top 10 let their hair down and deliver the fun, unexpected performances we've been waiting for]]></ti.ew:tout-deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-deck><![CDATA[The Top 10 let their hair down and deliver the fun, unexpected performances we've been waiting for]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-deck>			 
			 
			 <ti.ew:story><![CDATA[It's getting to be that time of year on<em> The Voice</em> where if people don't start mixing things up, we get bored. Luckily for us, it seems these coaches know exactly how much diversity is needed to pique our interest. From Shakira's crazy awesome hair to some much-needed uptempo performances, and so many uses of the word "sexy" that I won't even try to count, the Top 10 took to the stage tonight to have a little bit of fun.

Starting out with a performance of Maroon 5's new single "Love Somebody," Adam Levine's band kicks off the evening with a white backdrop and a lot of blue lights -- think Carrie Underwood's projection dress done right -- during which Adam performs quite a few Cassadee Pope-esque hand raises. By the time he finishes singing the song he wrote to me, it's time for Carson to catch up with the coaches.

Here's what we learn: Due to Joel Madden's busy schedule with<em> The Voice Australia</em>, Shakira has brought in her chair buddy, Cee Lo Green, to help her team this week. Or as she calls him, the sexiest coach in the history of <em>The Voice</em>. Adam's tattoos disagree, but I digress. Other lessons: Usher is a glass half-full kind of guy, and Blake's family is doing okay in the tragic situation in Oklahoma. Also, Carson Daly is not <em>not</em> awkward when dealing with tragedies... but let's get to the performances!

<strong>TEAM BLAKE: HOLLY TUCKER</strong>
<strong>The song:</strong> "How Great Thou Art"
<strong>The performance:</strong> Bringing her gospel experience to the stage, Holly chooses to perform a religious song and show America another side to herself. The vocals are good, and I see what she was wanting to do, but I find myself a little bored about halfway through the song. I want something a little more out of the opening number of the night. Does that make me a bad person? It has nothing to do with the gospel element of the song whatsoever, I promise.
<strong>The feedback: </strong>Usher thinks it's an "incredible statement," but feels that it's a bit of a departure from what he has come to expect from her. Shakira commends Holly's serious control over her instrument, and Adam appreciates the pristine quality of Holly's voice, no matter the song. Blake feels the song is strangely appropriate for tonight and claims he's never heard her "sing so strong before ever." He says it's her most important performance so far.

<strong>NEXT: Judith Hill sings Michael Jackson</strong>



<strong>TEAM ADAM: JUDITH HILL</strong>
<strong>The song:</strong> "The Way You Make Me Feel" by Michael Jackson
<strong>The performance: </strong>When Adam tells Judith she'll be doing a Michael song, she immediately gets emotional about paying homage to a man she is so grateful to. She's scared people won't see the difference between exploiting him and celebrating him. But after she gets on stage in her red jumpsuit and delivers a soulful rendition -- complete with backup singers for the MJ backup singer -- of one of my favorite Michael songs, I think it's clear what she wanted to do. The only thing crazier than Judith's hair is her vocals. Apart from her blind audition, this is my favorite Judith performance thus far.
<strong>The feedback:</strong> After Carson gives a very awkward therapeutic interlude, Blake can find absolutely nothing bad to say about Judith's performance. Usher, as a lover of MJ himself, shares Judith's feelings of missing him, and Adam is confident that America is ready to accept both Judith and her amazing celebration of a pop legend.

You guys know what time it is: Say hello to Christina Milian's red hair! Up in the skybox, she gets Josiah to tell a story about being one of six kids before wholeheartedly creepin' on him, and then she, too, proves that she isn't great at dealing with tragedy, stumbling over her words as she tries to squeeze in a plug for helping those in Oklahoma.

<strong>TEAM BLAKE: THE SWON BROTHERS</strong>
<strong>The song:</strong> "How Country Feels" by Randy Houser
<strong>The performance: </strong>With a crazy backdrop, The Swon Brothers take things back to their country roots, but this time they pick up the tempo. The result is probably a lot of fun for country music fans, and I do like their sound. However, in the end, I'll tell you how country feels for me in this moment -- lackluster and repetitive.
<strong>The feedback: </strong>After asking the Oklahoma boys to say a few words for their fellow state folk, Shakira tells the brothers once again that they make her feel good. Adam can't get over Zach's crazy <em>Scream</em> face, and Blake thinks the boys are starting to have something happen.

<strong>TEAM ADAM: AMBER CARRINGTON</strong>
<strong>The song:</strong> "Break Away" by Kelly Clarkson
<strong>The performance: </strong>For the record, Adam Carlson and I picked a Kelly Clarkson for Amber when we had to rank the top 12 in last week's print edition of the magazine, so I was very excited when I heard the song selection. And so, with yet another inexplicably over-the-top backdrop, and the assistance of one very powerful fan, Amber is able to pull off another great performance. I really love this girl's voice, but I have to admit I was hoping for a little bit more from this song, though I can't pinpoint what I'm missing. A lot of help I am. Who can help me out?
<strong>The feedback:</strong> Blake thinks Amber can "wear some wind good" and thinks the Kelly Clarkson song was a good call. Usher is literally blown away by the performance and commends Amber on her incredible talent and personal arrangement of the song. Shakira agrees that Kelly Clarkson is in Amber's wheelhouse, which Adam considers to be high praise. He loves Amber. Period.

<strong>NEXT: Sasha Allen finds her groove</strong>



<strong>TEAM SHAKIRA: SASHA ALLEN </strong>
<strong>The song:</strong> "Next to Me" by Emeli Sande
<strong>The performance: </strong>Cee Lo is back, y'all! And he's flirting with contestants! Yay! With this performance, Shakira finally gives Sasha a more recent radio hit to have some fun with. Although I always get a little of that Broadway feel from Sasha, she definitely shows a new side in this performance, and she has Shakira on her feet.
<strong>The feedback:</strong> The boys all agree that it was time for Sasha to do something uptempo, and Shakira is SO happy. Her happiness is briefly interrupted when Carson creeps on Sasha (what is it with these hosts tonight?!), but the camera quickly comes back to her so that she can express just how proud she is of Sasha.

*Christina Milian talking Twitter, stuttering*

<strong>TEAM USHER: JOSIAH HAWLEY</strong>
<strong>The song:</strong> "Clocks" by Coldplay
<strong>The performance: </strong>I feel like this is Muse all over again. Josiah does a lot better than I expected when I heard the song choice, but choosing a Coldplay song is almost mean on Usher's part. I commend the effort to grow your artist, but Josiah's voice is not high (or strong) enough to do a Muse song or a Coldplay song. Those bands are staples.
<strong>The feedback:</strong> *Carson makes an awkward joke about ladies loving him* Shakira and Adam agree that "mere mortals" can't really attempt to sing Coldplay. They also agree that Josiah did a good job and that he raised the bar last week, but Adam also feels that Josiah was visibly uncomfortable at times. Blake wants more lyrics to really dig into, and Usher just wants to continue to nurture Josiah's voice. But will he have the chance?

<strong>TEAM BLAKE: Danielle Bradbery</strong>
<strong>The song:</strong> "Heads Carolina, Tails California" by Jo Dee Messina
<strong>The performance: </strong>Another contestant letting go and having fun, Danielle finally gets to act her age with this upbeat country song. I would've liked to see a little more personality in the performance, but Danielle's vocals are something worth noting. The girl is good. Her hair is not (not tonight at least).
<strong>The feedback:</strong> Usher agrees to go to either Caroline or California with Danielle (that's called success, honey!), and he loves her ability to make country cool. Adam thinks her nonchalance about seeing Sheryl Crow is what makes her cool, and Blake simply thinks she's amazing, no matter what kind of tune she's singing.

<strong>NEXT: Which contestant used to sing in a screamo band?</strong>



<strong>TEAM SHAKIRA: KRIS THOMAS</strong>
<strong>The song:</strong> "Adorn" by Miguel
<strong>The performance: </strong>Handing out another current radio hit, Shakira hopes to see Kris get his sexy on with this Miguel song. But despite CeeLo's best efforts, I can't seem to find Kris' swag. I think it might be one of his best vocal performances, but it gets lost in all the uncomfortable happenings of Kris Thomas attempting to be sexy.
<strong>The feedback:</strong> Adam and Usher agree that Kris' voice is incredible, but they could see him thinking during that performance, and that is what really kept him from being sexy. Shakira comes to Kris' defense and wants the boys to give him a break for being nervous. Usher tries to say that nervousness is not what he's talking about, but they have awakened the beast! Shakira finishes giving her love to Kris while Adam and Usher literally hide behind their chairs from the fiery Latina.

<strong>TEAM ADAM: SARAH SIMMONS
</strong><strong>The song:</strong> "Mama Knows Best" by Jesise J
<strong>The performance:</strong> The former lead singer of a screamo band, Sarah is sending this song to all the jerks who didn't treat her right in relationships. The result is a performance so full of cool, sexy, rocker-chic everything that the coaches can't even stand it. Watching Adam watch Sarah has become my favorite part of this season. It's as if he's trying to decipher how she does what she does, and he never quite gets it. My other favorite part of this season? Listening to her move from rasp to falsetto back to rasp (and through minor keys) without taking a breath. This girl makes what she does look easy (and fun).
<strong>The feedback: </strong>While Adam freaks out, Blake spends the next few minutes screaming about how sexy that performance was. He thinks Sarah has turned a corner. This girl's a rocker. And as Usher puts it, "If you got it, you got it." Adam, still fanning himself, thinks Sarah just gave the performance of the night. "Sexy!" yells Blake.

<strong>TEAM USHER: MICHELLE CHAMUEL</strong>
<strong>The song:</strong> "Just Give Me A Reason" by P!nk
<strong>The performance:</strong> After Pharell commends Michelle as one of those "genius monster singers" with a long career ahead of her, she hits the stage in her elastic(?) pants to sing yet another P!nk song. I would complain about the fact that she's already done P!nk, but it just sounds too good. I feel like I still can't hear everything that I want to hear in terms of her voice tonight, but it's no secret that Michelle makes her team proud with this performance.
<strong>The feedback:</strong> Adam is a fan, and Blake loves how dramatic Michelle is (plus he envies her squatting abilities). Usher tries to make the argument that that is the performance of the night because there's "nothing on the stage but you." I love Michelle, but what did he just say?

That's it! Here's to hoping everybody leaves their hair down (literally for Shakira) and keeps us on the edge of our seats for the rest of the season, because that was downright fun! So who wins your vote for performance of the night? What about sexiest performance of the night? And, of course, who's in danger of going home this week? Sound off in the comments!

<em>Samantha on Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/samhighfill">@samhighfill</a></em>]]></ti.ew:story>
			 <ti.ew:seo-story><![CDATA[It's getting to be that time of year on The Voice where if people don't start mixing things up, we get bored. Luckily for us, it seems these coaches know exactly how much diversity is needed to pique our interest. From Shakira's crazy awesome hair to some much-needed uptempo performances, and so many uses of the word "sexy" that I won't even try to count, the Top 10 took to the stage tonight to have a little bit of fun.

Starting out with a performance of Maroon 5's new single "Love Somebody," Adam Levine's band kicks off the evening with a white backdrop and a lot of blue lights -- think Carrie Underwood's projection dress done right -- during which Adam performs quite a few Cassadee Pope-esque hand raises. By the time he finishes singing the song he wrote to me, it's time for Carson to catch up with the coaches.

Here's what we learn: Due to Joel Madden's busy schedule with The Voice Australia, Shakira has brought in her chair buddy, Cee Lo Green, to help her team this week. Or as she calls him, the sexiest coach in the history of The Voice. Adam's tattoos disagree, but I digress. Other lessons: Usher is a glass half-full kind of guy, and Blake's family is doing okay in the tragic situation in Oklahoma. Also, Carson Daly is not not awkward when dealing with tragedies... but let's get to the performances!

TEAM BLAKE: HOLLY TUCKER
The song: "How Great Thou Art"
The performance: Bringing her gospel experience to the stage, Holly chooses to perform a religious song and show America another side to herself. The vocals are good, and I see what she was wanting to do, but I find myself a little bored about halfway through the song. I want something a little more out of the opening number of the night. Does that make me a bad person? It has nothing to do with the gospel element of the song whatsoever, I promise.
The feedback: Usher thinks it's an "incredible statement," but feels that it's a bit of a departure from what he has come to expect from her. Shakira commends Holly's serious control over her instrument, and Adam appreciates the pristine quality of Holly's voice, no matter the song. Blake feels the song is strangely appropriate for tonight and claims he's never heard her "sing so strong before ever." He says it's her most important performance so far.

NEXT: Judith Hill sings Michael Jackson



TEAM ADAM: JUDITH HILL
The song: "The Way You Make Me Feel" by Michael Jackson
The performance: When Adam tells Judith she'll be doing a Michael song, she immediately gets emotional about paying homage to a man she is so grateful to. She's scared people won't see the difference between exploiting him and celebrating him. But after she gets on stage in her red jumpsuit and delivers a soulful rendition -- complete with backup singers for the MJ backup singer -- of one of my favorite Michael songs, I think it's clear what she wanted to do. The only thing crazier than Judith's hair is her vocals. Apart from her blind audition, this is my favorite Judith performance thus far.
The feedback: After Carson gives a very awkward therapeutic interlude, Blake can find absolutely nothing bad to say about Judith's performance. Usher, as a lover of MJ himself, shares Judith's feelings of missing him, and Adam is confident that America is ready to accept both Judith and her amazing celebration of a pop legend.

You guys know what time it is: Say hello to Christina Milian's red hair! Up in the skybox, she gets Josiah to tell a story about being one of six kids before wholeheartedly creepin' on him, and then she, too, proves that she isn't great at dealing with tragedy, stumbling over her words as she tries to squeeze in a plug for helping those in Oklahoma.

TEAM BLAKE: THE SWON BROTHERS
The song: "How Country Feels" by Randy Houser
The performance: With a crazy backdrop, The Swon Brothers take things back to their country roots, but this time they pick up the tempo. The result is probably a lot of fun for country music fans, and I do like their sound. However, in the end, I'll tell you how country feels for me in this moment -- lackluster and repetitive.
The feedback: After asking the Oklahoma boys to say a few words for their fellow state folk, Shakira tells the brothers once again that they make her feel good. Adam can't get over Zach's crazy Scream face, and Blake thinks the boys are starting to have something happen.

TEAM ADAM: AMBER CARRINGTON
The song: "Break Away" by Kelly Clarkson
The performance: For the record, Adam Carlson and I picked a Kelly Clarkson for Amber when we had to rank the top 12 in last week's print edition of the magazine, so I was very excited when I heard the song selection. And so, with yet another inexplicably over-the-top backdrop, and the assistance of one very powerful fan, Amber is able to pull off another great performance. I really love this girl's voice, but I have to admit I was hoping for a little bit more from this song, though I can't pinpoint what I'm missing. A lot of help I am. Who can help me out?
The feedback: Blake thinks Amber can "wear some wind good" and thinks the Kelly Clarkson song was a good call. Usher is literally blown away by the performance and commends Amber on her incredible talent and personal arrangement of the song. Shakira agrees that Kelly Clarkson is in Amber's wheelhouse, which Adam considers to be high praise. He loves Amber. Period.

NEXT: Sasha Allen finds her groove



TEAM SHAKIRA: SASHA ALLEN 
The song: "Next to Me" by Emeli Sande
The performance: Cee Lo is back, y'all! And he's flirting with contestants! Yay! With this performance, Shakira finally gives Sasha a more recent radio hit to have some fun with. Although I always get a little of that Broadway feel from Sasha, she definitely shows a new side in this performance, and she has Shakira on her feet.
The feedback: The boys all agree that it was time for Sasha to do something uptempo, and Shakira is SO happy. Her happiness is briefly interrupted when Carson creeps on Sasha (what is it with these hosts tonight?!), but the camera quickly comes back to her so that she can express just how proud she is of Sasha.

*Christina Milian talking Twitter, stuttering*

TEAM USHER: JOSIAH HAWLEY
The song: "Clocks" by Coldplay
The performance: I feel like this is Muse all over again. Josiah does a lot better than I expected when I heard the song choice, but choosing a Coldplay song is almost mean on Usher's part. I commend the effort to grow your artist, but Josiah's voice is not high (or strong) enough to do a Muse song or a Coldplay song. Those bands are staples.
The feedback: *Carson makes an awkward joke about ladies loving him* Shakira and Adam agree that "mere mortals" can't really attempt to sing Coldplay. They also agree that Josiah did a good job and that he raised the bar last week, but Adam also feels that Josiah was visibly uncomfortable at times. Blake wants more lyrics to really dig into, and Usher just wants to continue to nurture Josiah's voice. But will he have the chance?

TEAM BLAKE: Danielle Bradbery
The song: "Heads Carolina, Tails California" by Jo Dee Messina
The performance: Another contestant letting go and having fun, Danielle finally gets to act her age with this upbeat country song. I would've liked to see a little more personality in the performance, but Danielle's vocals are something worth noting. The girl is good. Her hair is not (not tonight at least).
The feedback: Usher agrees to go to either Caroline or California with Danielle (that's called success, honey!), and he loves her ability to make country cool. Adam thinks her nonchalance about seeing Sheryl Crow is what makes her cool, and Blake simply thinks she's amazing, no matter what kind of tune she's singing.

NEXT: Which contestant used to sing in a screamo band?



TEAM SHAKIRA: KRIS THOMAS
The song: "Adorn" by Miguel
The performance: Handing out another current radio hit, Shakira hopes to see Kris get his sexy on with this Miguel song. But despite CeeLo's best efforts, I can't seem to find Kris' swag. I think it might be one of his best vocal performances, but it gets lost in all the uncomfortable happenings of Kris Thomas attempting to be sexy.
The feedback: Adam and Usher agree that Kris' voice is incredible, but they could see him thinking during that performance, and that is what really kept him from being sexy. Shakira comes to Kris' defense and wants the boys to give him a break for being nervous. Usher tries to say that nervousness is not what he's talking about, but they have awakened the beast! Shakira finishes giving her love to Kris while Adam and Usher literally hide behind their chairs from the fiery Latina.

TEAM ADAM: SARAH SIMMONS
The song: "Mama Knows Best" by Jesise J
The performance: The former lead singer of a screamo band, Sarah is sending this song to all the jerks who didn't treat her right in relationships. The result is a performance so full of cool, sexy, rocker-chic everything that the coaches can't even stand it. Watching Adam watch Sarah has become my favorite part of this season. It's as if he's trying to decipher how she does what she does, and he never quite gets it. My other favorite part of this season? Listening to her move from rasp to falsetto back to rasp (and through minor keys) without taking a breath. This girl makes what she does look easy (and fun).
The feedback: While Adam freaks out, Blake spends the next few minutes screaming about how sexy that performance was. He thinks Sarah has turned a corner. This girl's a rocker. And as Usher puts it, "If you got it, you got it." Adam, still fanning himself, thinks Sarah just gave the performance of the night. "Sexy!" yells Blake.

TEAM USHER: MICHELLE CHAMUEL
The song: "Just Give Me A Reason" by P!nk
The performance: After Pharell commends Michelle as one of those "genius monster singers" with a long career ahead of her, she hits the stage in her elastic(?) pants to sing yet another P!nk song. I would complain about the fact that she's already done P!nk, but it just sounds too good. I feel like I still can't hear everything that I want to hear in terms of her voice tonight, but it's no secret that Michelle makes her team proud with this performance.
The feedback: Adam is a fan, and Blake loves how dramatic Michelle is (plus he envies her squatting abilities). Usher tries to make the argument that that is the performance of the night because there's "nothing on the stage but you." I love Michelle, but what did he just say?

That's it! Here's to hoping everybody leaves their hair down (literally for Shakira) and keeps us on the edge of our seats for the rest of the season, because that was downright fun! So who wins your vote for performance of the night? What about sexiest performance of the night? And, of course, who's in danger of going home this week? Sound off in the comments!

Samantha on Twitter: @samhighfill]]></ti.ew:seo-story>
			 
			 <ti.ew:episode-type>Regular Episode</ti.ew:episode-type>
			
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword><![CDATA[The Voice]]></ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword>TV</ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[The Voice]]></ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[The Voice]]></ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name><![CDATA[The Voice]]></ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name><![CDATA[The Voice]]></ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name>
			 
			 
			 
			 <guid><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/the-voice-season-4-episode-18/]]></guid>
			 <category><![CDATA[TV]]></category>
			 <title type="html"><![CDATA['The Voice' recap: Letting Loose]]></title>
			 
			 <description type="html"><![CDATA[The Top 10 let their hair down and deliver the fun, unexpected performances we've been waiting for]]></description>
			 <link><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/the-voice-season-4-episode-18/]]></link>
			 <pubDate><![CDATA[Mon, 20 May 2013 23:43:49 -0400 ]]></pubDate>
			 <author><![CDATA[Samantha Highfill]]></author>			 
			 <ti.ew:excerpt type="html"><![CDATA[It's getting to be that time of year on The Voice where if people don't start mixing things up, we get bored. Luckily for us, it seems these coaches know exactly how much diversity is needed to pique our interest. From Shakira's crazy awesome hair to some much-needed uptempo performances, and so many uses of the word "sexy" that I won't even try to count, the Top 10 took to the stage tonight to have a little bit of fun.

Starting out with a performance of Maroon 5's new single "Love Somebody," Adam Levine's band kicks off the evening with a ......]]></ti.ew:excerpt>
			 <ti.ew:copyright type="html"><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></ti.ew:copyright>
			 <ti.ew:series><![CDATA[The Voice]]></ti.ew:series>
			 <tvSeries><![CDATA[The Voice]]></tvSeries>
			 
			 <utcDate><![CDATA[1369093429]]></utcDate>
			 <postID><![CDATA[33474]]></postID>
			 
			 <ti.ew:airdate>Mon, 20 May 2013 00:00:00 +0000</ti.ew:airdate>
			 <ti.ew:airdate-formatted>May 20</ti.ew:airdate-formatted>
			 <ti.ew:content-type>Recap</ti.ew:content-type>
			 <ti.ew:channel>TV</ti.ew:channel>
			 <ti.ew:community-section-name>TV Watch</ti.ew:community-section-name>
			 <ti.ew:eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:eyebrow>			
			 <ti.ew:network><![CDATA[NBC]]></ti.ew:network>
			 <tvNetwork><![CDATA[NBC]]></tvNetwork>
			
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			 <ti.ew:hilite><![CDATA[Mon, May 20 | NBC]]></ti.ew:hilite>
			 
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			 <ti.ew:image-credit><![CDATA[NBC]]></ti.ew:image-credit>
			 
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-credit>NBC</ti.ew:image-seo-credit>
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-caption>FEELIN' IT Team Adam's Judith Hill celebrates her late mentor Michael Jackson with a soulful performance of his hit "The Way You Make Me Feel."</ti.ew:image-seo-caption>
			 
			 <ti.ew:media>TV</ti.ew:media>
			 
			 <ti.ew:starship>NO</ti.ew:starship>
			 <ti.ew:grade>--</ti.ew:grade>
			 
			 <ti.ew:genre>Reality TV</ti.ew:genre>
			 <ti.ew:episode>Episode 18</ti.ew:episode>
			 <ti.ew:season>Season 4</ti.ew:season>			
			 
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			  <media:credit role="photographer"><![CDATA[NBC]]></media:credit>
			  <media:copyright><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></media:copyright>
			  <media:caption type="html"><![CDATA[<p><strong>FEELIN' IT</strong> Team Adam's Judith Hill celebrates her late mentor Michael Jackson with a soulful performance of his hit "The Way You Make Me Feel."</p>]]></media:caption>
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			</item>
						
			<item>
			
			 <ti.ew:blog>TV Recaps</ti.ew:blog>
			 <ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>
			 <ti.ew:headline><![CDATA['Mad Men' recap: The Lost Weekend]]></ti.ew:headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-headline><![CDATA['Mad Men' recap: The Lost Weekend]]></ti.ew:seo-headline>
			 <ti.ew:headline-sort><![CDATA[Mad Men' recap: The Lost Weekend]]></ti.ew:headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:headline-a>M</ti.ew:headline-a>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline><![CDATA['Mad Men' recap: The Lost Weekend]]></ti.ew:tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-headline><![CDATA['Mad Men' recap: The Lost Weekend]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-sort><![CDATA[Mad Men recap: The Lost Weekend]]></ti.ew:tout-headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-a>M</ti.ew:tout-headline-a>
			 
			 <ti.ew:deck><![CDATA[Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping as Don loses touch with reality in a surreal, febrile episode]]></ti.ew:deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-deck><![CDATA[Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping as Don loses touch with reality in a surreal, febrile episode]]></ti.ew:seo-deck>
			 <ti.ew:tout-deck><![CDATA[Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping as Don loses touch with reality in a surreal, febrile episode]]></ti.ew:tout-deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-deck><![CDATA[Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping as Don loses touch with reality in a surreal, febrile episode]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-deck>			 
			 
			 <ti.ew:story><![CDATA["<em>When a man finally realizes that he has taken a path without a heart, the path is ready to kill him. At that point very few men can stop to deliberate, and leave the path.</em>" - Carlos Castaneda, <em>The Teachings of Don Juan</em><em>
</em>

Castaneda's first work, another published in 1968, was originally his master's thesis in anthropology at the University of California. In it, the chronicler of mind-altered landscapes details the lessons he learned from don Juan, a sage and mystic of indeterminate existence who ostensibly took Castaneda on a psychotropic journey through a series of "non-ordinary realities," or drug-induced spirit quests of the self. <em>Mad Men</em>'s own Don (and Don Juan), on the other hand, doesn't need a baggie of mushrooms or peyote buttons to have a reality-warping hallucinatory experience, just a "vitamin superdose" injected directly into his gluteus.

Head-trips were big at the time: this was also the year Tom Wolfe published <em>The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test</em>, his hyperactive New Journalism account of the LSD scene. <em>Mad Men </em>has gotten trippy before, particularly with Roger's "enlightenment," but "The Crash" is a funhouse-mirror nightmare that pretty much lasts an entire episode. For Don, his fugue state has turned reality into that dream where you're in a play and everyone remembers their lines but you. Time skips like a record, sounds amplify, and the slightest thing (a coughing fit, an old print ad) can send him hurtling back in a Proustian reverie to his adolescence in a brothel. Everything's so chopped up and disjointed that it's like he's living through a full weekend composed entirely of non-sequitur "Next Week on <em>Mad Men</em>..." snippets.

And so the season-long descent into Don-te's Inferno finally starts to snowball. Don's key characteristics have always included a cool detachment and an air of impenetrability. He likes to pretend the gray flannel suit is a bulletproof vest, but in reality he's never as calm and collected as you'd think. Instead, he's often temperamental, wrathful, unpredictable, and emotional. When Sylvia cuts off the affair, he becomes a man obsessed, hanging outside the Rosens' apartment and lighting cigarette after cigarette with the torch he holds for her. Where he was once detached, he has now become unstuck. Don's sexual fantasies may have included power games, but everyone knows real power belongs to the one who loves least, and his need for Sylvia sends him into a head-on collision worse than Ken's Impala joyride.

Overall, the episode borrows pretty heavily from <em>The Sopranos'</em>s more dream-like endeavors, like Season 6's "Join the Club," with a little bit of <em>Twin Peaks</em> thrown in as well. Ken's breathless tap-dance captures that Lynchian oddness that is both amusing and deeply, inexplicably unnerving. Even Sally's experience with the quick-thinking home invader is packed with menace, a scene in which everything could be absolutely hunky-dory and easily explainable except for the fact that it isn't. "Grandma Ida" comes off as yet another dangerous and surreal interloper, not unlike the Bonnie-and-Clyde pair that robbed Don in Season 3.

<strong>NEXT: The Chevy chase...</strong>



It doesn't help that Don's mental free-fall occurs over a weekend of crunch work on a new pitch for Chevy. They've given the company seven different ways to go for the campaign and all they've gotten out of it is a banged-up Ken. The car giant may have been a huge get for the newly expanded firm, but they still have to earn it. The trouble with a really big fish is that sometimes its hard to tell if you've hooked them or they've hooked you. Don is already doing poorly, but when Cutler invites in his own Dr. Feelgood to administer a proprietary injection intended to kick the office into overdrive, the nostrum ends up driving him over the edge. This is an episode of intense vulnerability for the unflappable Donald Draper, so much so that the sight of him leaning over a desk with his pants down is barely the start of it.

The show has always been fascinated by the passage of time and more specifically the way that it can sneak by unnoticed if you're not watching carefully. Think of all those night-to-day transitions without a single edit, or Pete's conversation last season with the driver's ed girl about time's slipperiness, or even the way each season sets the needle back down months or years in the future. In keeping with that tradition, Don's breakdown is depicted as a series of ellipses. He pauses in the hallway, flashes back to losing his virginity, and suddenly it's the next day and he's sporting scruff and a pair of duffel bags under his eyes. His speeches, usually inspiring and grandiloquent, become rambling and alarming. "I know you're feeling the darkness here today," he intones, as everyone's eyebrows go up. Wendy, the late Gleason's hippie daughter, appears with a copy of the I Ching and diagnoses his broken heart. The glimpses of Don's grim upbringing intensify and the nature of his deflowering helps to underscore his current emotional dysfunctions. An early recording of "Dream a Little Dream of Me" plays on the radio in one of his remembrances, probably a result of the fact that in the contemporary timeline it had just been covered popularly by the Mamas and the Papas, who also provide the episode's outro song "Words of Love."

I've always found that Don's childhood flashbacks never really gel for me. The straight-backed man with the corner office is a long way from the boy who grew up on a farm during the Depression, or the gangly teen who ended up in a whorehouse once his alcoholic father died. It's hard to connect the dots between these individuals on an emotional level, even when the psychological through-line is highlighted in neon. A pulmonary disease leaves young Dick in the care of Aimee, a Judy Holliday-voiced prostitute who nurses him back to health with soup and some freely dispensed carnal knowledge. Something about his rejection by Sylvia leads Don back to this sexual origin story, and the subsequent wooden spoon beating he received for it. Somewhere here is the (conveniently placed) key to his failure at relationships and to the way he confuses intimacy with secrecy. He may be the agency's top dog, and a predatory lone wolf, but  both his younger and current selves act more like a wounded puppy.

Eventually the entirety of Don's three days of hell take its toll, and when he comes home mumbling to himself only to find Betty, Henry, Megan, and two cops waiting with a story about a woman breaking into his home, talking with his children, and stealing his watches (yet more missing time), he ends up fainting on the spot. When he awakes, the fever has broken and the walls go back up. The next morning, Sylvia enters the elevator with him and it's silence all the way down. Don has cauterized the wound and repaired the holes in his armor. At work, he tells the rest of the team that he won't be working personally on the Chevy campaign and then delivers the episode's shaggy-dog punchline: "Every time we get a car, this place turns into a whorehouse."

<strong>NEXT: Highs and lows...</strong>



The rest of the agency seems to fare better with Cutler's mysterious butt injections, maybe with the exception of Stan. The Great Beard may work well when he's one toke over the line, but this pushes him even further into mania. He ends up trying to kiss Peggy in his office before admitting to her that his 20-year-old cousin was KIA in Vietnam. It's an echo of their first interactions, when Peggy deftly and cleverly repudiated his sexual advances, and it ends with Stan expressing appreciation for her rear, to which she responds "Thank you." Only <em>Mad Men</em> could try to make "You've got a great ass" sound wistful, heartfelt, and nostalgic. Then he ends up having sex with Wendy the psychic, failing to live up to the advice, "You have to let yourself feel it. You can't dampen it with drugs and sex."

There's yet more death with Gleason's passing, and Chaough's empathy contrasts once again with Don's lack of it. He's too busy mourning the sudden death of his affair, but Ted is genuinely affected. Peggy reacts to this and Don seeing her comfort his former nemesis sends him off on another trip back to his red-light past. Peggy is clearly feeling some form of dissatisfaction with her life with Abe and one wonders what will become of that relationship. After all, it's her name on the apartment deed.

Sally's adventures in babysitting leaves her feeling ashamed for having been duped. But, as she tells her father, it's really only because the story was plausible by default. Why couldn't her dad have had a black nanny he called Grandma Ida? That's entirely possible for all she knows of his past. Don admits to her that the incident was his responsibility. "I left the door open, it's my fault," a line that could just as easily refer to his culpability with Sylvia. In his eyes, Don's problem was leaving himself open to feeling and letting someone else peek into what lies behind the door to his heart. But he's learned his lesson and from now on that door will be barred, chained, and double-locked from the inside.

<strong>STRAY THOUGHTS</strong>

Going down? Still more elevator symbolism this week. There should be a sign that reads: "Danger! Do not exceed maximum metaphorical weight."

The only thing that would have made Ken Cosgrove's opening drive more <em>Blue Velvet</em>-terrifying is if they were eerily singing "See the USA, in your Chevrolet...."

"Why don't you take a nap? Your face looks like a bag of walnuts." Roger's line of the night.

Ken's little bit of fleet-footed vaudeville is projection on Don's part, who is the real song-and-dance man. His ranting summation of advertising as a trade-off of entertainment for attention cuts especially close to the fear that his profession and the profession of his mother are essentially one and the same.

"You just flushed the toilet in my head."

"She's off on the casting couch," says Betty, with her typical civility towards Megan.

"Chevy is spelled wrong!"

Follow Keith on Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/Staskijiwczejcz" target="_blank">@Staskijiwczejcz</a>]]></ti.ew:story>
			 <ti.ew:seo-story><![CDATA["When a man finally realizes that he has taken a path without a heart, the path is ready to kill him. At that point very few men can stop to deliberate, and leave the path." - Carlos Castaneda, The Teachings of Don Juan


Castaneda's first work, another published in 1968, was originally his master's thesis in anthropology at the University of California. In it, the chronicler of mind-altered landscapes details the lessons he learned from don Juan, a sage and mystic of indeterminate existence who ostensibly took Castaneda on a psychotropic journey through a series of "non-ordinary realities," or drug-induced spirit quests of the self. Mad Men's own Don (and Don Juan), on the other hand, doesn't need a baggie of mushrooms or peyote buttons to have a reality-warping hallucinatory experience, just a "vitamin superdose" injected directly into his gluteus.

Head-trips were big at the time: this was also the year Tom Wolfe published The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test, his hyperactive New Journalism account of the LSD scene. Mad Men has gotten trippy before, particularly with Roger's "enlightenment," but "The Crash" is a funhouse-mirror nightmare that pretty much lasts an entire episode. For Don, his fugue state has turned reality into that dream where you're in a play and everyone remembers their lines but you. Time skips like a record, sounds amplify, and the slightest thing (a coughing fit, an old print ad) can send him hurtling back in a Proustian reverie to his adolescence in a brothel. Everything's so chopped up and disjointed that it's like he's living through a full weekend composed entirely of non-sequitur "Next Week on Mad Men..." snippets.

And so the season-long descent into Don-te's Inferno finally starts to snowball. Don's key characteristics have always included a cool detachment and an air of impenetrability. He likes to pretend the gray flannel suit is a bulletproof vest, but in reality he's never as calm and collected as you'd think. Instead, he's often temperamental, wrathful, unpredictable, and emotional. When Sylvia cuts off the affair, he becomes a man obsessed, hanging outside the Rosens' apartment and lighting cigarette after cigarette with the torch he holds for her. Where he was once detached, he has now become unstuck. Don's sexual fantasies may have included power games, but everyone knows real power belongs to the one who loves least, and his need for Sylvia sends him into a head-on collision worse than Ken's Impala joyride.

Overall, the episode borrows pretty heavily from The Sopranos's more dream-like endeavors, like Season 6's "Join the Club," with a little bit of Twin Peaks thrown in as well. Ken's breathless tap-dance captures that Lynchian oddness that is both amusing and deeply, inexplicably unnerving. Even Sally's experience with the quick-thinking home invader is packed with menace, a scene in which everything could be absolutely hunky-dory and easily explainable except for the fact that it isn't. "Grandma Ida" comes off as yet another dangerous and surreal interloper, not unlike the Bonnie-and-Clyde pair that robbed Don in Season 3.

NEXT: The Chevy chase...



It doesn't help that Don's mental free-fall occurs over a weekend of crunch work on a new pitch for Chevy. They've given the company seven different ways to go for the campaign and all they've gotten out of it is a banged-up Ken. The car giant may have been a huge get for the newly expanded firm, but they still have to earn it. The trouble with a really big fish is that sometimes its hard to tell if you've hooked them or they've hooked you. Don is already doing poorly, but when Cutler invites in his own Dr. Feelgood to administer a proprietary injection intended to kick the office into overdrive, the nostrum ends up driving him over the edge. This is an episode of intense vulnerability for the unflappable Donald Draper, so much so that the sight of him leaning over a desk with his pants down is barely the start of it.

The show has always been fascinated by the passage of time and more specifically the way that it can sneak by unnoticed if you're not watching carefully. Think of all those night-to-day transitions without a single edit, or Pete's conversation last season with the driver's ed girl about time's slipperiness, or even the way each season sets the needle back down months or years in the future. In keeping with that tradition, Don's breakdown is depicted as a series of ellipses. He pauses in the hallway, flashes back to losing his virginity, and suddenly it's the next day and he's sporting scruff and a pair of duffel bags under his eyes. His speeches, usually inspiring and grandiloquent, become rambling and alarming. "I know you're feeling the darkness here today," he intones, as everyone's eyebrows go up. Wendy, the late Gleason's hippie daughter, appears with a copy of the I Ching and diagnoses his broken heart. The glimpses of Don's grim upbringing intensify and the nature of his deflowering helps to underscore his current emotional dysfunctions. An early recording of "Dream a Little Dream of Me" plays on the radio in one of his remembrances, probably a result of the fact that in the contemporary timeline it had just been covered popularly by the Mamas and the Papas, who also provide the episode's outro song "Words of Love."

I've always found that Don's childhood flashbacks never really gel for me. The straight-backed man with the corner office is a long way from the boy who grew up on a farm during the Depression, or the gangly teen who ended up in a whorehouse once his alcoholic father died. It's hard to connect the dots between these individuals on an emotional level, even when the psychological through-line is highlighted in neon. A pulmonary disease leaves young Dick in the care of Aimee, a Judy Holliday-voiced prostitute who nurses him back to health with soup and some freely dispensed carnal knowledge. Something about his rejection by Sylvia leads Don back to this sexual origin story, and the subsequent wooden spoon beating he received for it. Somewhere here is the (conveniently placed) key to his failure at relationships and to the way he confuses intimacy with secrecy. He may be the agency's top dog, and a predatory lone wolf, but  both his younger and current selves act more like a wounded puppy.

Eventually the entirety of Don's three days of hell take its toll, and when he comes home mumbling to himself only to find Betty, Henry, Megan, and two cops waiting with a story about a woman breaking into his home, talking with his children, and stealing his watches (yet more missing time), he ends up fainting on the spot. When he awakes, the fever has broken and the walls go back up. The next morning, Sylvia enters the elevator with him and it's silence all the way down. Don has cauterized the wound and repaired the holes in his armor. At work, he tells the rest of the team that he won't be working personally on the Chevy campaign and then delivers the episode's shaggy-dog punchline: "Every time we get a car, this place turns into a whorehouse."

NEXT: Highs and lows...



The rest of the agency seems to fare better with Cutler's mysterious butt injections, maybe with the exception of Stan. The Great Beard may work well when he's one toke over the line, but this pushes him even further into mania. He ends up trying to kiss Peggy in his office before admitting to her that his 20-year-old cousin was KIA in Vietnam. It's an echo of their first interactions, when Peggy deftly and cleverly repudiated his sexual advances, and it ends with Stan expressing appreciation for her rear, to which she responds "Thank you." Only Mad Men could try to make "You've got a great ass" sound wistful, heartfelt, and nostalgic. Then he ends up having sex with Wendy the psychic, failing to live up to the advice, "You have to let yourself feel it. You can't dampen it with drugs and sex."

There's yet more death with Gleason's passing, and Chaough's empathy contrasts once again with Don's lack of it. He's too busy mourning the sudden death of his affair, but Ted is genuinely affected. Peggy reacts to this and Don seeing her comfort his former nemesis sends him off on another trip back to his red-light past. Peggy is clearly feeling some form of dissatisfaction with her life with Abe and one wonders what will become of that relationship. After all, it's her name on the apartment deed.

Sally's adventures in babysitting leaves her feeling ashamed for having been duped. But, as she tells her father, it's really only because the story was plausible by default. Why couldn't her dad have had a black nanny he called Grandma Ida? That's entirely possible for all she knows of his past. Don admits to her that the incident was his responsibility. "I left the door open, it's my fault," a line that could just as easily refer to his culpability with Sylvia. In his eyes, Don's problem was leaving himself open to feeling and letting someone else peek into what lies behind the door to his heart. But he's learned his lesson and from now on that door will be barred, chained, and double-locked from the inside.

STRAY THOUGHTS

Going down? Still more elevator symbolism this week. There should be a sign that reads: "Danger! Do not exceed maximum metaphorical weight."

The only thing that would have made Ken Cosgrove's opening drive more Blue Velvet-terrifying is if they were eerily singing "See the USA, in your Chevrolet...."

"Why don't you take a nap? Your face looks like a bag of walnuts." Roger's line of the night.

Ken's little bit of fleet-footed vaudeville is projection on Don's part, who is the real song-and-dance man. His ranting summation of advertising as a trade-off of entertainment for attention cuts especially close to the fear that his profession and the profession of his mother are essentially one and the same.

"You just flushed the toilet in my head."

"She's off on the casting couch," says Betty, with her typical civility towards Megan.

"Chevy is spelled wrong!"

Follow Keith on Twitter: @Staskijiwczejcz]]></ti.ew:seo-story>
			 
			 <ti.ew:episode-type>Regular Episode</ti.ew:episode-type>
			
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword><![CDATA[Mad Men]]></ti.ew:seo-keyword>
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			 <ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[Mad Men]]></ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name>
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			 <guid><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/mad-men-the-lost-weekend/]]></guid>
			 <category><![CDATA[TV]]></category>
			 <title type="html"><![CDATA['Mad Men' recap: The Lost Weekend]]></title>
			 
			 <description type="html"><![CDATA[Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping as Don loses touch with reality in a surreal, febrile episode]]></description>
			 <link><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/mad-men-the-lost-weekend/]]></link>
			 <pubDate><![CDATA[Mon, 20 May 2013 04:44:37 -0400 ]]></pubDate>
			 <author><![CDATA[Keith Staskiewicz]]></author>			 
			 <ti.ew:excerpt type="html"><![CDATA["When a man finally realizes that he has taken a path without a heart, the path is ready to kill him. At that point very few men can stop to deliberate, and leave the path." - Carlos Castaneda, The Teachings of Don Juan


Castaneda's first work, another published in 1968, was originally his master's thesis in anthropology at the University of California. In it, the chronicler of mind-altered landscapes details the lessons he learned from don Juan, a sage and mystic of indeterminate existence who ostensibly took Castaneda on a psychotropic journey through a series of "non-ordinary realities," or drug-induced spirit quests ......]]></ti.ew:excerpt>
			 <ti.ew:copyright type="html"><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></ti.ew:copyright>
			 <ti.ew:series><![CDATA[Mad Men]]></ti.ew:series>
			 <tvSeries><![CDATA[Mad Men]]></tvSeries>
			 
			 <utcDate><![CDATA[1369025077]]></utcDate>
			 <postID><![CDATA[33395]]></postID>
			 
			 <ti.ew:airdate>Sun, 19 May 2013 00:00:00 +0000</ti.ew:airdate>
			 <ti.ew:airdate-formatted>May 19</ti.ew:airdate-formatted>
			 <ti.ew:content-type>Recap</ti.ew:content-type>
			 <ti.ew:channel>TV</ti.ew:channel>
			 <ti.ew:community-section-name>TV Watch</ti.ew:community-section-name>
			 <ti.ew:eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:eyebrow>			
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			 <ti.ew:hilite><![CDATA[Sun, May 19 | AMC]]></ti.ew:hilite>
			 
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			 <ti.ew:image-credit><![CDATA[AMC]]></ti.ew:image-credit>
			 
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-credit>AMC</ti.ew:image-seo-credit>
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-caption>A SHOT IN THE ASS Even Roger, who has a heart condition, gets one of Cutler's injections.</ti.ew:image-seo-caption>
			 
			 <ti.ew:media>TV</ti.ew:media>
			 
			 <ti.ew:starship>NO</ti.ew:starship>
			 <ti.ew:grade>--</ti.ew:grade>
			 
			 <ti.ew:genre>Drama</ti.ew:genre>
			 <ti.ew:episode>Episode 08</ti.ew:episode>
			 <ti.ew:season>Season 6</ti.ew:season>			
			 
						 <media:group>
			  <media:content url="http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2013/05/19/mad-men.jpg" isDefault="true" expression="full" width="320" height="240"></media:content>
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			  <media:credit role="photographer"><![CDATA[AMC]]></media:credit>
			  <media:copyright><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></media:copyright>
			  <media:caption type="html"><![CDATA[<p><strong>A SHOT IN THE ASS</strong> Even Roger, who has a heart condition, gets one of Cutler's injections.</p>]]></media:caption>
			 </media:group>
						
			</item>
						
			<item>
			
			 <ti.ew:blog>TV Recaps</ti.ew:blog>
			 <ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>
			 <ti.ew:headline><![CDATA['The Celebrity Apprentice' season finale recap: Lots of Winners]]></ti.ew:headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-headline><![CDATA['The Celebrity Apprentice' season finale recap: Lots of Winners]]></ti.ew:seo-headline>
			 <ti.ew:headline-sort><![CDATA[Celebrity Apprentice' season finale recap: Lots of Winners]]></ti.ew:headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:headline-a>C</ti.ew:headline-a>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline><![CDATA['The Celebrity Apprentice' season finale recap: Lots of Winners]]></ti.ew:tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-headline><![CDATA['The Celebrity Apprentice' season finale recap: Lots of Winners]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-sort><![CDATA[Celebrity Apprentice season finale recap: Lots of Winners]]></ti.ew:tout-headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-a>C</ti.ew:tout-headline-a>
			 
			 <ti.ew:deck><![CDATA[Trace Adkins battles a devil named Penn Jillette; America wins]]></ti.ew:deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-deck><![CDATA[Trace Adkins battles a devil named Penn Jillette; America wins]]></ti.ew:seo-deck>
			 <ti.ew:tout-deck><![CDATA[Trace Adkins battles a devil named Penn Jillette; America wins]]></ti.ew:tout-deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-deck><![CDATA[Trace Adkins battles a devil named Penn Jillette; America wins]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-deck>			 
			 
			 <ti.ew:story><![CDATA[It all comes down to this: In the season finale of <em>All-Star Celebrity Apprentice</em>, two men enter, flanked by teams of other, lesser wo/men and a lot of cardboard, but only one man leaves. That man's name is Donald Trump. The other two men are less important. What are their names? One of them is an atheist; the other thinks Jesus can beat up magicians. I kid! Welcome to the beginning of the end of the beginning of this finale (aka, the middle). Recapper extraordinaire Dalton Ross is off on assignment and has entrusted me to help guide us through a two-hour debate about who is the better businessman, really: a Las Vegas magician or a Nashville country singer? <em>V</em><em>egas</em>? <em>Nashville</em>? Pick a side. We're at war.

The funny thing is that tonight's finale was bizarro, as we all prayed, while reconfirming our darkest suspicions: Both Trace Adkins and Penn Jillette are, like, good at business -- insofar as they are always able to make money at challenges that require a lot of detail-oriented planning in very little time with a lot of cameras around. But Trace and Penn have held up under the pressure. Tonight, a continuation of last week's Final Challenge (design an ice cream flavor; shoot an ad for it; organize and host a social to launch it), they remained both deeply, deeply ridiculous figures without losing an ounce of integrity. Miracles, indeed. (Hey, Jesus!)

Were you surprised at how many friends Penn and Trace have? I was. I guess I should call them "friends" -- in order to top the other/raise the most money during their socials/launch events, both men rolled through their Rolodexes. Wayne Newton, after some faffing about last week, turned up in full glow; as did Gilbert Gottfried, Taylor Hicks, and Dee Snyder. Meanwhile, Trace called in the Oakridge Boys (by-proxy), Tony Stewart, country duo Thompson Square, and <em>Tim Tebow</em>. Those italics probably aren't getting the point across: TIM TEBOW showed up after Trace really thought that he was going to and then really thought that he wasn't, leading Marilu to do everything by doing nothing. She kept whining at Trace! <em>Traaaaace</em>.

Who else? Big Pussy from <em>The Sopranos </em>and also Joan Rivers, Penn's Teller, and a lot of camera crews...or maybe just one camera crew shot from a bunch of different angles. How many anchorwo/men had to interview Trace and Penn on the "carpet" before the event? "Hi, hello, what charity are you supporting? What does the Donald smell like? Misery? Is that the name of your ice cream flavor?"

That and <em>still</em> six other magical moments from the finale.

<strong>NEXT: Show us the money</strong>



<strong>1. How much money are we talking about when we're talking about "money"?</strong>

<strong></strong>No, really: Both socials were ostensibly about raising money for charity and whoever raised the most wouldn't <em>necessarily </em>be the season's winner. Still, didn't you get the feeling that the show was going to awfully great lengths to mask how much money was actually being raised? After all the celebrities and all their friends showed up with checks in hand and after all those times that ML kept freaking out when she was handed a new check like it was made of diamonds or fire or both (new ice cream flavor: <em>Fire Diamonds</em>) and <em>then </em>after that moment where Penn conferred with his team and we heard that they were "north of 5..." in terms of dollars raised, I was pretty sure both teams cracked at least $1 million. Right? Tebow brought $300,000? Cut to the boardroom, halfway through the episode: Penn raised $503,655; Trace raised $564,000.

What?

Now, neither amount is negligible. It's all for charity, anyhow. But we were supposed to think it was more. It <em>felt </em>like more. Maybe I wasn't accounting for the cardboard budget. Signs are expensive. Cardboard used to be trees!

<strong>2. Trace Adkins, "country singer"</strong>

<strong></strong>Seeing Penn do magic in his video was pleasant and unexpected. He's a famous magician. (More pleasant and unexpected was his successful gambit to cut the extra footage from his 60-second and then play it as an "outtake" for the audience, which found it <em>hi</em>larious.) Seeing Gary Busey dance in Trace's video and then take the stage for Trace's event in a re-preezal of his turn as Buddy Holly was expectedly unpleasant: Despite being able to move his face in any normal way except scary, Busey's still got rhythm. He can't sing (like really at all), but he can try.

Trace taking the stage, though, was unexpectedly unpleasant: The man sells(/sold) records and concert tickets based on his ability to entertain audiences with a combination of songs and showmanship. So where was any of that? Singing "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" (keep up with me) was painful in more ways than I thought I could feel pain. That voice! Those lyrics! It was like Trace was a construction worker (cement in his joints) who'd been handed a lyric sheet and a cowboy hat and a slap to the face. Was this his nightmare? Dude was scared and lost -- he didn't know where he was going or where he was coming from.

Then again, the audience loved it. Penn's face danced along! Maybe it's me who is broken.

<strong>NEXT: Fashion emergency(s)</strong>



<strong>3. Teller encased in cement!</strong>

Maybe this says more about me than it does about Penn &amp; Teller, but watching them perform a magic trick with an audience member during the live portion was more mystifying than mystical. Penn did some handwork with a billiard ball, then a wand. Teller didn't seem to be suffocating (that isn't the trick). His assistant was a tall blonde woman from the audience. What's her story? Did she know she would be helping to perform magic for multiple millions on live television? I don't remember her wearing glasses at the start of the trick (that isn't the trick, either). The good news is that Penn saved Teller. I'm not sure how. Magic was probably involved. I don't think the billiard ball was that important.

<strong>4. TIE: Brande's shoulder pads/Brande's hair</strong>

There were a lot of questionable styling decisions made during the night's live portion, when each of the eliminated contestants was brought back for a double-shot of punishment and nostalgia. But the clear winner was Brande Roderick, not because she was the craziest but because she rocked her crazy. What was going on with those shoulder pads? I wanted that haircut! Did it hypnotize me? It was <em>so </em>platinum. Also: Brande's shoulders were basically right angles -- spangly, blue, and perpendicular.

Honorable mention: Dennis' mohawk. Blah blah Dennis Rodman dresses crazy blah. "I want his barber," Trump says. Does he know what the word "barber" means? Separately: Does Dennis know what "North Korea" means? I'm sure Kim Jong-un was delightful at dinner; I'm less sure that he is a "good guy."

Dishonorable mention: Lisa Rinna's beige, skin-like outfit. The seams were in all the wrong places and it had the unfortunate side effect of making Lisa look like she hadn't been watered by her owners in several days. I used to have your hair cut, Lisa. It gets better.

<strong>NEXT: "I don't believe anything is distorted"</strong>



<strong>5. "I didn't win any money."</strong>

The night's pre-taped boardroom was especially low on drama. Everyone had done so well! Both Joan and Ivanka ran through the teams' small missteps (blah branding; too-specific flavor) while Donald generally congratulated everyone, including himself. He deserves an Emmy! Oh <em>totally</em>: Everyone always thinks the show is scripted, but Trace sticks up for it. Says Penn: "I don't believe anything is distorted and everything is straightforward and I love that."

Everyone starts sucking up like a firing line that's firing compliments. And then the equation flips: Donald wants to know who hasn't won any money in the competition for their charities. Lil Jon hasn't and La Toya hasn't and Gary hasn't. You get $20,000 and you get $20,000 and you get $20,000. The Donald is firing money! It's simultaneously surreal and humane. Can humanity be pre-processed? There's no way Donald decided to start donating money to charity without a nudge in the script. Sorry! Not-script.

<strong>6. Lil Jon's standing ovation</strong>

Everyone loves Lil Jon: you, me, the live audience, and most of America. Right before Donald fired one finalist and anointed another, he spun the spotlight to the eliminated all-star. "We've never done this before," he said. "<em>Ever</em>." Lil Jon came up from the peanut gallery to the boardroom table. Lil Jon climbed up on the arm of Joan's chair. Lil Jon was awarded money for his charity. Lil Jon started crying. Lil Jon got a standing ovation that went on for more than a minute. Everyone was clapping. I was clapping. Also: Trace won.

<strong>Extra magic: </strong>The two hours were really, really good for charities, separate from the rest of the pomp and lunacy. The Red Cross helped Trace in a time of need; Penn spent some sweet, pre-packaged time with Opportunity Village. Dennis Rodman (gasp) put it best: "Everybody here has a great charity." Gary Busey turned the mechanical dog into a lawn mower. And Omarosa has <em>never </em>been friends with La Toya.

Enjoy the congratulatory confetti shower for the rest of the night, y'all. It's back to <em>CSI </em>guest spots in the morning.

<strong></strong><a href="https://twitter.com/acarlson91"><em>Follow Adam on Twitter</em></a>]]></ti.ew:story>
			 <ti.ew:seo-story><![CDATA[It all comes down to this: In the season finale of All-Star Celebrity Apprentice, two men enter, flanked by teams of other, lesser wo/men and a lot of cardboard, but only one man leaves. That man's name is Donald Trump. The other two men are less important. What are their names? One of them is an atheist; the other thinks Jesus can beat up magicians. I kid! Welcome to the beginning of the end of the beginning of this finale (aka, the middle). Recapper extraordinaire Dalton Ross is off on assignment and has entrusted me to help guide us through a two-hour debate about who is the better businessman, really: a Las Vegas magician or a Nashville country singer? Vegas? Nashville? Pick a side. We're at war.

The funny thing is that tonight's finale was bizarro, as we all prayed, while reconfirming our darkest suspicions: Both Trace Adkins and Penn Jillette are, like, good at business -- insofar as they are always able to make money at challenges that require a lot of detail-oriented planning in very little time with a lot of cameras around. But Trace and Penn have held up under the pressure. Tonight, a continuation of last week's Final Challenge (design an ice cream flavor; shoot an ad for it; organize and host a social to launch it), they remained both deeply, deeply ridiculous figures without losing an ounce of integrity. Miracles, indeed. (Hey, Jesus!)

Were you surprised at how many friends Penn and Trace have? I was. I guess I should call them "friends" -- in order to top the other/raise the most money during their socials/launch events, both men rolled through their Rolodexes. Wayne Newton, after some faffing about last week, turned up in full glow; as did Gilbert Gottfried, Taylor Hicks, and Dee Snyder. Meanwhile, Trace called in the Oakridge Boys (by-proxy), Tony Stewart, country duo Thompson Square, and Tim Tebow. Those italics probably aren't getting the point across: TIM TEBOW showed up after Trace really thought that he was going to and then really thought that he wasn't, leading Marilu to do everything by doing nothing. She kept whining at Trace! Traaaaace.

Who else? Big Pussy from The Sopranos and also Joan Rivers, Penn's Teller, and a lot of camera crews...or maybe just one camera crew shot from a bunch of different angles. How many anchorwo/men had to interview Trace and Penn on the "carpet" before the event? "Hi, hello, what charity are you supporting? What does the Donald smell like? Misery? Is that the name of your ice cream flavor?"

That and still six other magical moments from the finale.

NEXT: Show us the money



1. How much money are we talking about when we're talking about "money"?

No, really: Both socials were ostensibly about raising money for charity and whoever raised the most wouldn't necessarily be the season's winner. Still, didn't you get the feeling that the show was going to awfully great lengths to mask how much money was actually being raised? After all the celebrities and all their friends showed up with checks in hand and after all those times that ML kept freaking out when she was handed a new check like it was made of diamonds or fire or both (new ice cream flavor: Fire Diamonds) and then after that moment where Penn conferred with his team and we heard that they were "north of 5..." in terms of dollars raised, I was pretty sure both teams cracked at least $1 million. Right? Tebow brought $300,000? Cut to the boardroom, halfway through the episode: Penn raised $503,655; Trace raised $564,000.

What?

Now, neither amount is negligible. It's all for charity, anyhow. But we were supposed to think it was more. It felt like more. Maybe I wasn't accounting for the cardboard budget. Signs are expensive. Cardboard used to be trees!

2. Trace Adkins, "country singer"

Seeing Penn do magic in his video was pleasant and unexpected. He's a famous magician. (More pleasant and unexpected was his successful gambit to cut the extra footage from his 60-second and then play it as an "outtake" for the audience, which found it hilarious.) Seeing Gary Busey dance in Trace's video and then take the stage for Trace's event in a re-preezal of his turn as Buddy Holly was expectedly unpleasant: Despite being able to move his face in any normal way except scary, Busey's still got rhythm. He can't sing (like really at all), but he can try.

Trace taking the stage, though, was unexpectedly unpleasant: The man sells(/sold) records and concert tickets based on his ability to entertain audiences with a combination of songs and showmanship. So where was any of that? Singing "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk" (keep up with me) was painful in more ways than I thought I could feel pain. That voice! Those lyrics! It was like Trace was a construction worker (cement in his joints) who'd been handed a lyric sheet and a cowboy hat and a slap to the face. Was this his nightmare? Dude was scared and lost -- he didn't know where he was going or where he was coming from.

Then again, the audience loved it. Penn's face danced along! Maybe it's me who is broken.

NEXT: Fashion emergency(s)



3. Teller encased in cement!

Maybe this says more about me than it does about Penn &amp; Teller, but watching them perform a magic trick with an audience member during the live portion was more mystifying than mystical. Penn did some handwork with a billiard ball, then a wand. Teller didn't seem to be suffocating (that isn't the trick). His assistant was a tall blonde woman from the audience. What's her story? Did she know she would be helping to perform magic for multiple millions on live television? I don't remember her wearing glasses at the start of the trick (that isn't the trick, either). The good news is that Penn saved Teller. I'm not sure how. Magic was probably involved. I don't think the billiard ball was that important.

4. TIE: Brande's shoulder pads/Brande's hair

There were a lot of questionable styling decisions made during the night's live portion, when each of the eliminated contestants was brought back for a double-shot of punishment and nostalgia. But the clear winner was Brande Roderick, not because she was the craziest but because she rocked her crazy. What was going on with those shoulder pads? I wanted that haircut! Did it hypnotize me? It was so platinum. Also: Brande's shoulders were basically right angles -- spangly, blue, and perpendicular.

Honorable mention: Dennis' mohawk. Blah blah Dennis Rodman dresses crazy blah. "I want his barber," Trump says. Does he know what the word "barber" means? Separately: Does Dennis know what "North Korea" means? I'm sure Kim Jong-un was delightful at dinner; I'm less sure that he is a "good guy."

Dishonorable mention: Lisa Rinna's beige, skin-like outfit. The seams were in all the wrong places and it had the unfortunate side effect of making Lisa look like she hadn't been watered by her owners in several days. I used to have your hair cut, Lisa. It gets better.

NEXT: "I don't believe anything is distorted"



5. "I didn't win any money."

The night's pre-taped boardroom was especially low on drama. Everyone had done so well! Both Joan and Ivanka ran through the teams' small missteps (blah branding; too-specific flavor) while Donald generally congratulated everyone, including himself. He deserves an Emmy! Oh totally: Everyone always thinks the show is scripted, but Trace sticks up for it. Says Penn: "I don't believe anything is distorted and everything is straightforward and I love that."

Everyone starts sucking up like a firing line that's firing compliments. And then the equation flips: Donald wants to know who hasn't won any money in the competition for their charities. Lil Jon hasn't and La Toya hasn't and Gary hasn't. You get $20,000 and you get $20,000 and you get $20,000. The Donald is firing money! It's simultaneously surreal and humane. Can humanity be pre-processed? There's no way Donald decided to start donating money to charity without a nudge in the script. Sorry! Not-script.

6. Lil Jon's standing ovation

Everyone loves Lil Jon: you, me, the live audience, and most of America. Right before Donald fired one finalist and anointed another, he spun the spotlight to the eliminated all-star. "We've never done this before," he said. "Ever." Lil Jon came up from the peanut gallery to the boardroom table. Lil Jon climbed up on the arm of Joan's chair. Lil Jon was awarded money for his charity. Lil Jon started crying. Lil Jon got a standing ovation that went on for more than a minute. Everyone was clapping. I was clapping. Also: Trace won.

Extra magic: The two hours were really, really good for charities, separate from the rest of the pomp and lunacy. The Red Cross helped Trace in a time of need; Penn spent some sweet, pre-packaged time with Opportunity Village. Dennis Rodman (gasp) put it best: "Everybody here has a great charity." Gary Busey turned the mechanical dog into a lawn mower. And Omarosa has never been friends with La Toya.

Enjoy the congratulatory confetti shower for the rest of the night, y'all. It's back to CSI guest spots in the morning.

Follow Adam on Twitter]]></ti.ew:seo-story>
			 
			 <ti.ew:episode-type>Regular Episode</ti.ew:episode-type>
			
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword><![CDATA[The Celebrity Apprentice]]></ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword>TV</ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[The Celebrity Apprentice]]></ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[The Celebrity Apprentice]]></ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name><![CDATA[The Celebrity Apprentice]]></ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name><![CDATA[The Celebrity Apprentice]]></ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name>
			 
			 
			 
			 <guid><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/all-star-celebrity-apprentice-episode-12/]]></guid>
			 <category><![CDATA[TV]]></category>
			 <title type="html"><![CDATA['The Celebrity Apprentice' season finale recap: Lots of Winners]]></title>
			 
			 <description type="html"><![CDATA[Trace Adkins battles a devil named Penn Jillette; America wins]]></description>
			 <link><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/all-star-celebrity-apprentice-episode-12/]]></link>
			 <pubDate><![CDATA[Mon, 20 May 2013 02:00:12 -0400 ]]></pubDate>
			 <author><![CDATA[Adam Carlson]]></author>			 
			 <ti.ew:excerpt type="html"><![CDATA[It all comes down to this: In the season finale of All-Star Celebrity Apprentice, two men enter, flanked by teams of other, lesser wo/men and a lot of cardboard, but only one man leaves. That man's name is Donald Trump. The other two men are less important. What are their names? One of them is an atheist; the other thinks Jesus can beat up magicians. I kid! Welcome to the beginning of the end of the beginning of this finale (aka, the middle). Recapper extraordinaire Dalton Ross is off on assignment and has entrusted me to help guide us through a two-hour ......]]></ti.ew:excerpt>
			 <ti.ew:copyright type="html"><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></ti.ew:copyright>
			 <ti.ew:series><![CDATA[The Celebrity Apprentice]]></ti.ew:series>
			 <tvSeries><![CDATA[The Celebrity Apprentice]]></tvSeries>
			 
			 <utcDate><![CDATA[1369015212]]></utcDate>
			 <postID><![CDATA[33359]]></postID>
			 
			 <ti.ew:airdate>Sun, 19 May 2013 00:00:00 +0000</ti.ew:airdate>
			 <ti.ew:airdate-formatted>May 19</ti.ew:airdate-formatted>
			 <ti.ew:content-type>Recap</ti.ew:content-type>
			 <ti.ew:channel>TV</ti.ew:channel>
			 <ti.ew:community-section-name>TV Watch</ti.ew:community-section-name>
			 <ti.ew:eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:eyebrow>			
			 <ti.ew:network><![CDATA[NBC]]></ti.ew:network>
			 <tvNetwork><![CDATA[NBC]]></tvNetwork>
			
			 <ti.ew:communityCommentsID>tvr_33359</ti.ew:communityCommentsID>
			 <ti.ew:community-resource-id>tvr_33359</ti.ew:community-resource-id>			
			 <commentBoardId>tvr_33359</commentBoardId>
			 
			 <viewerLink></viewerLink>
			
			 <ti.ew:hilite><![CDATA[Sun, May 19 | NBC]]></ti.ew:hilite>
			 
			 <ti.ew:thumbnail.small url="" width="75" height="75"></ti.ew:thumbnail.small>
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			 <ti.ew:thumbnail.380x380 url="http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2013/05/17/Celebrity-Apprentice-RECAP_380x380.jpg" width="380" height="380"></ti.ew:thumbnail.380x380>
			 <ti.ew:thumbnail.612x380 url="http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2013/05/17/Celebrity-Apprentice-RECAP_612x380.jpg" width="612" height="380"></ti.ew:thumbnail.612x380>
			 
			 <thumbnailSmall></thumbnailSmall>
			 <thumbnailLarge></thumbnailLarge>
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			 <thumbnail100x100>http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2013/05/17/Celebrity-Apprentice-RECAP_100x100.jpg</thumbnail100x100>
			 <thumbnail175x175></thumbnail175x175>
			 <thumbnail196x134>http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2013/05/17/Celebrity-Apprentice-RECAP_196x134.jpg</thumbnail196x134>
			 <thumbnail196x357></thumbnail196x357>
			 <thumbnail320x240>http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2013/05/17/Celebrity-Apprentice-RECAP_320x240.jpg</thumbnail320x240>
			 <thumbnail380x380>http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2013/05/17/Celebrity-Apprentice-RECAP_380x380.jpg</thumbnail380x380>
			 <thumbnail612x380>http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2013/05/17/Celebrity-Apprentice-RECAP_612x380.jpg</thumbnail612x380>
			 
			 <ti.ew:image-credit><![CDATA[NBC]]></ti.ew:image-credit>
			 
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-credit>NBC</ti.ew:image-seo-credit>
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-caption>A WHOOPLOAD "Country star" Trace Adkins squared off against "master illusionist" Penn Jillette in the finale of Donald Trump's ongoing contest to turn celebrities into slaves.</ti.ew:image-seo-caption>
			 
			 <ti.ew:media>TV</ti.ew:media>
			 
			 <ti.ew:starship>NO</ti.ew:starship>
			 <ti.ew:grade>--</ti.ew:grade>
			 
			 <ti.ew:genre>Reality TV</ti.ew:genre>
			 <ti.ew:episode>Episode 12</ti.ew:episode>
			 <ti.ew:season>Season 13</ti.ew:season>			
			 
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			  <media:caption type="html"><![CDATA[<p><strong>A WHOOPLOAD </strong>"Country star" Trace Adkins squared off against "master illusionist" Penn Jillette in the finale of Donald Trump's ongoing contest to turn celebrities into slaves.</p>]]></media:caption>
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			 <ti.ew:blog>TV Recaps</ti.ew:blog>
			 <ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>
			 <ti.ew:headline><![CDATA['Game of Thrones' recap: The Honeymooners]]></ti.ew:headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-headline><![CDATA['Game of Thrones' recap: The Honeymooners]]></ti.ew:seo-headline>
			 <ti.ew:headline-sort><![CDATA[Game of Thrones' recap: The Honeymooners]]></ti.ew:headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:headline-a>G</ti.ew:headline-a>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline><![CDATA['Game of Thrones' recap: The Honeymooners]]></ti.ew:tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-headline><![CDATA['Game of Thrones' recap: The Honeymooners]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-sort><![CDATA[Game of Thrones recap: The Honeymooners]]></ti.ew:tout-headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-a>G</ti.ew:tout-headline-a>
			 
			 <ti.ew:deck><![CDATA[Tyrion and Sansa's wedding is as painfully awkward as you imagined, while Melisandre ensnares Gendry]]></ti.ew:deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-deck><![CDATA[Tyrion and Sansa's wedding is as painfully awkward as you imagined, while Melisandre ensnares Gendry]]></ti.ew:seo-deck>
			 <ti.ew:tout-deck><![CDATA[Tyrion and Sansa's wedding is as painfully awkward as you imagined, while Melisandre ensnares Gendry]]></ti.ew:tout-deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-deck><![CDATA[Tyrion and Sansa's wedding is as painfully awkward as you imagined, while Melisandre ensnares Gendry]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-deck>			 
			 
			 <ti.ew:story><![CDATA[Home stretch. Tonight's <em>Game of Thrones</em> is the most focused episode we've seen since Blackwater. The vast majority of the hour was spent in only three locations: Yunkai, Dragonstone and, of course, King's Landing, where Tyrion tied the knot with Sansa in one of the most awkward <del>shotgun</del> crossbow-weddings ever. No Robb, Jaime, Brienne, Bran, Jon or Ygritte this week. But at least we get a little time with...

<strong>Woods</strong>: Arya wakes. Her nails are really gross. Stunt nails? She grabs a rock and goes to bash her sleeping captor The Hound and finally cross one name off her death wish list. But then: "I'll give you one try, girl. Kill me and you're free. But if I live, I'll break both your hands." Ayra wisely decides to let the sleeping dog lie.

Later, The Hound rides his horse with Arya awkwardly sitting in front of him. She thinks he's the worst person ever, which we know is not true. But he's a convenient person to hate. He reveals he's actually taking her to meet her brother Robb and her mom at her uncle's wedding at The Twins. He figures the Starks will pay him a finder's fee. The way this season is going, we half expect these two to be forced to marry each other.

<strong>Yunkai</strong>: Daenerys of Arabia peers down at the walled city of Yunkai. The city has hired a sellsword company called the Second Sons, which Ser Barristan agrees could be "enough to make a difference" in a fight. Dany wants to meet their leader, who like every <em>Thrones</em> character has a cool nickname -- Titan's Bastard. She's confident he'll agree to a meeting: "A man who fights for gold can't afford to lose to a girl."

Titan's Bastard arrives in Dany's tent. Pretty much from the moment he sits down chummily next to Dany we know he won't survive this episode and we're counting the minutes until he gets killed. He says Dany reminds him of a booty-licking prostitute and demands to see her naked to know if she's worth fighting for (<em>Thrones</em> fans have already seen Dany naked and can vouch). If Dany's dragons were in the tent, they would have roasted this guy without prompting (and they <em>should</em> be in the tent, logically, since she's meeting with three dangerous rivals, but let's just say the dragons were busy saving the producers some coin).

One of the Titan's lieutenants  -- Daario -- makes moony eyes at Dany. He looks like Brad Pitt in <em>Legends of the Fall</em>, all blond and smirky and ready for his cover shoot for a trashy romance novel. (Sorry George R.R. Martin fans, no blue beard for Daario, but are you complaining?).

The Second Sons argue they must uphold their contract to the city of Yunkai. "Ride with me and you'll never need another contract," Dany counters. "A fortnight ago I had no army. A year ago I had no dragons." She gives them a couple days to make up their minds and some wine to help think it over.

Back at the Second Sons camp, Daario and the others discuss the merits of whores vs. no-whores. Daario is too proud to pay for sex. He says he fights "for beauty," which I'm assuming means a quality bronzer and volumizing hair products.

Titan's Bastard decides one of them should sneak into Dany's camp and assassinate The Dragon Queen. Sound strategy. He tells the girl to pass out three coins -- no peeking! -- and whoever draws a certain coin must do the deed. I like that the girl keeps her eyes closed and lamely stumbles around instead simply<em> not looking at her hand</em>. Daario draws the fated coin.

<strong>NEXT: Melisandre ties up Gendry</strong>



<strong>Dragonstone</strong>: Gendry is brought before Stannis, who quickly sizes him up like a farm animal: Half Robert Baratheon, half lowborn. He doesn't check his teeth but might as well have. Yet Stannis is uncomfortable sacrificing the boy to his mistresses' creepy fire god to gain some vague military advantage. He goes and visits his conscience, Davos. It's probably too easy of a metaphor to point out that Stannis has literally locked his conscience in a dungeon.

"What's one bastard boy against a kingdom?" Stannis asks, trying to convince himself. Stannis offers to free Davos if he promises to never harm Melisandre. That's an easy promise, especially since killing her may be impossible. Davos does not promise, however, to speak out against her murderous ideas. That's why he's a good chief-of-staff and why Stannis needs him around.

Stannis gives us a hint at the prophecy that Melisandre showed him in the flames last season -- "a great battle in the snow." He challenges Davos: Given what they've both witnessed of the Red Woman's power, "How can you deny her god is real?"

It's a great question with no easy answer. It's one that I hope <em>Thrones</em> handles someday because it speaks to the larger issue of religion on the show. So far we've only seen apparent divine intervention from one of the gods worshiped in the series -- the Lord of Light. But this god seems like a total jerk. So what are we, as viewers, supposed to believe? That there is only one true <em>Thrones</em> god and he's an a--hole? Though ... you know ... if we're being honest ... I guess some make the same argument in our world too.

Later, Melisandre plots to seduce the hot younger man. She gives Gendry a luxurious ocean-view room (Dragonstone is an island, so they're probably <em>all</em> ocean-view rooms). She feeds him hearty stew, which is far better than the "bowls of brown" of pretend-chicken he ate as a kid. She gives him fancy wine and praises the "power inside you that you can't begin to understand." Gendry tries to resist Stannis' magic cougar, but can't. She then says her seduction line: "Come fight death with me." Would that work in a bar? Too creepy, right?

Once again, <em>Thrones</em> is elevating the sex scene this season. This is creepy and uncomfortable and we know something isn't right. So when Melisandre starts tying Gendry to the bed with her sneaky leather straps, we know she's not just wanting a little light bondage.

She gets a bowl of leeches. OK, that's not so bad.

"Not there!" Gendry cries.

Oh, so it's <em>kind of</em> bad.

Stannis and Davos enter to find Melisandre naked and Gendry tied to the bed with leeches on his chest and genitals. Awkward, sure, but we've all been there.

She takes the leeches, now engorged with the king's bastard's blood. Stannis throws them, one by one, into the fire, while saying the names of his rival "usurpers" to the Iron Throne -- Robb Stark, Balon Greyjoy (Theon's cruel dad) and Joffrey Baratheon. She calls this a "demonstration." If Stannis getting Melisandre pregnant gives birth to a murderous smoke-monster, what will these leech-curses do? And if you're Gendry, aren't you still wondering if she's still going to have sex with you?

<strong>NEXT: Tyrion and Sansa: For better or for worse</strong>



<strong>King's Landing</strong>: Tyrion visits Sansa, whose puffy wedding dress makes her hips look a mile wide. Tyrion has Podrick take out his grouchy mistress Shae for a walk so they can have privacy (oh Shae, if only you knew what you were missing with Podrick!).

Tyrion desperately wants to make this experience less painful for Sansa. "I didn't ask for this ... you won't be a prisoner after today, you will be my wife." Then he adds: "I suppose that's a different kind of prison." But Sansa is beyond comfort, especially from him.

Over in the Great Sept of Baelor, Cersei and Margaery take a stroll. "We'll be sisters, you and I, we should be friends," Margaery says, taking Cersei's arm. She's trying the same charm she uses on Sansa and Joffrey. But Cersei utterly resents Margaery and hates to be touched. Cersei reminds her of the story behind the Lannister theme song, "The Rains of Castamere." She details of her father's destruction of the rebellious House Reyne which, like Margaery's house, was once the second wealthiest in the land. "You ever call me sister again, I'll have you strangled in your sleep," Cersei concludes, and walks away.

For the first time, Margaery loses her composure, looking like she was punched in the gut.

Sansa readies to walk down the aisle. How could this get any worse? Say hello to Joffrey! He's literally bouncing on his heels in delight. We've rarely seen him so cheerful. He's taking the role of Sansa's murdered father and gives her away to Tyrion, relishing her discomfort. Margaery is the only supportive face in the crowd. While Tywin is dressed even more leather-daddy than usual.

At the altar, Joffrey swipes Tyrion's stool. The groom is supposed to symbolically put his bride under a cloak of protection. But Tyrion's too short. What follows is awkward for all involved as he asks Sansa to kneel. She's so spaced out she doesn't even realize what's going on. Tyrion looks very handsome and deeply pissed off.

Later, Tyrion gets property wasted. We hear a lot of talk about Tyrion being a drunkard, but don't see it much. And Peter Dinklage is awfully entertaining as a drunk. His father is annoyed, as always, at any display of indulgence. "Your wife needs a child," Tywin scolds. "If you're going to give her one you need to perform." I'm not sure what Tywin hopes to accomplish by looming over his son and giving him performance anxiety. I suspect nothing works better for withholding your orgasm than thinking of an angry Tywin Lannister (let's all try it sometime!).

Tyrion says, "I'm the god of tits and wine," which sounds like a line from Starz' <em>Spartacus</em>, then raises a salute to miserable-looking Loras -- <em>Your turn next, bro!</em>

Loras attempts to find solace with his bride-to-be. Unfortunately, that's Cersei. "My father once told me--" he beings."Nobody cares what your father once told you," she snaps and walks away. Remember Tyrion's hypothetical question about which of the four people who are being forced to marry has it the worst? I'm now thinking Loras.

Nearby, Joffrey takes extra time to make Sansa extra miserable. He threatens to pop into her chamber for a little honeymoon rape. I suspect this is an empty threat mainly because I don't think Joffrey is interested in doing anything that remotely resembles sex. Still, it has the desired effect on Sansa.

Joffrey then tries to cajole Tyrion and the crowd into starting the "bedding ceremony." This is a Westeros tradition where the clothes are stripped from the bride and groom (the bride by men in the wedding party and the groom by women) and they're jovially taken to their bedroom to have sex. According to some utterly non-authoritative online sources, this is apparently a more bawdy version of an actual Middle Ages custom (that was presumably done to help ensure the marriage is consummated). In any case, we don't see it because Tyrion strongly objects to the bedding ceremony. He's been humiliated all night. He can't take any more of it -- even if his objection costs his life.

He pulls a knife and pounds it into the table and threatens Joffrey: "Then you'll be f--king your own bride with a wooden c--k."

<em>That</em> shuts everybody up.

<strong>NEXT: Daario interrupts Dany's bath time</strong>

Joffrey is comically flabbergasted.

Tywin deftly defuses the potentially lethal confrontation, giving Tyrion an exit that his son wisely takes: "I'm sure Tyrion did not mean to threaten the king." Tyrion plays along, calling it a "bad joke," and mocks the size of his own member. You get the feeling that Tyrion has seldom been made to feel less adequate about his height in his adult life than on this night. And there's a level of discomfort for us viewers, too, because we love and respect Dinklage and his stature isn't a wig or a costume or prosthetic, but a part of his life.

In their bedchamber, Tyrion asks Sansa her age. She says 14, which surprises us even more than it does Tyrion since she seems older than that on the show (actress Sophie Turner is 17). "Talk won't make you any older," he quips, and she gulps some wine. She starts to get undressed for him and... Tyrion tells her to <em>stop</em>. He can't go through with it. "I won't share your bed ... not until you want me to," Tyrion says. Then Sansa replies, "And what if I never want you to?"

Oh, poor Tyrion. And poor Sansa! Now were you disappointed or relieved Tyrion stopped her? Did you want to see Tyrion and Sansa fool around? If so, isn't there something wrong with that? We're all going to be in therapy by the time this show is over.

The next morning, Shae storms into their room with a hearty plate of eggs and hate. Then she goes to get their sheets and sees that they're ... clean? She's shocked: They had sex standing up!? Oh, wait -- no. They didn't have sex at all. At least there's one person happy with Tyrion today.

<strong>Yunkai</strong>: Dany is taking a bath and being groomed by her translator Missandei. They're interrupted by Daario with a big knife. He explains that instead of assassinating her like he was ordered, he killed the two Second Sons captains, brought her their heads and wants to pledge his men to her. And why did he do all this? Is it her claim to the Iron Throne? Her persuasive arguments? Her leadership skills and comfy sofa and rad dragons? Nope. She's just smoking hot.

"I'm the simplest man you'll ever meet," he says.

So Dany gives Daario the full frontal that Titan's Bastard requested and he heroically maintains eye contact. "My sword is yours, my life is yours, my heart is yours," Daario says. I think he left one thing out.

<strong>North of the Wall</strong>: Sam and Gilly find a cabin in the woods. He can't build a fire and they debate the difference between a wink and a blink. I yell from the couch that a wink is only with <em>one</em> eye, but the TV people don't listen. She has a lot of terrible ideas for naming her son, mainly because she's only met terrible men. How about Sam Jr.?

Outside there's loud squawking. Sam goes to look and finds an inbound White Walker. He's totally shocked because this episode isn't a season premiere or finale. He tries fighting with his sword and the demon shatters it. Then he tries one of those shards of "dragonglass" (obsidian) that he found buried way up north. He stabs the White Walker and it dies in a spectacularly icy fashion. Those glass things might come in handy. And how about that -- Sam was useful! I want him to tell Gilly: <em>Yeah I can't build a fire but I just killed a freakin' White Walker so how do you like me now?</em>

<strong>Best Scene</strong>: It's not one scene, but the entire King's Landing wedding sequence was highly entertaining and it's tough to pick out one moment as above the rest: Awkward, sad, witty, scary, fun.

<strong>Best Line</strong>: "Come fight death with me" is great. Also love: "You ever call me sister again, I'll have you strangled in your sleep."

Another shorter-than-usual recap this week, but I have big plans for the final two episodes. First, next week, HBO is not airing <em>Thrones</em> due to Memorial Day weekend (presumably because holiday weekends have lower viewership levels). You can bet there's going to be some wailing <em>Thrones</em> fans when they turn on HBO at 9 p.m. and the network is airing <em>Behind the Candelabra</em>.

But the Sunday after that HBO airs a new episode titled "The Rains of Castamere." Fans know that the ninth episode is always a biggie, and this year is no exception. In fact, you better just stay off the Internet entirely until after watching <em>Thrones</em> on June 2. Then come to EW.com, where I'll be live-blogging the <em>Thrones</em> recap starting at 9 p.m. ET, plus posting a few items in the <a href="http://insidetv.ew.com/" target="_blank">Inside TV blog</a> throughout the evening that I <em>promise</em> you will not want to miss. Until then, let's fight death as much as possible!]]></ti.ew:story>
			 <ti.ew:seo-story><![CDATA[Home stretch. Tonight's Game of Thrones is the most focused episode we've seen since Blackwater. The vast majority of the hour was spent in only three locations: Yunkai, Dragonstone and, of course, King's Landing, where Tyrion tied the knot with Sansa in one of the most awkward shotgun crossbow-weddings ever. No Robb, Jaime, Brienne, Bran, Jon or Ygritte this week. But at least we get a little time with...

Woods: Arya wakes. Her nails are really gross. Stunt nails? She grabs a rock and goes to bash her sleeping captor The Hound and finally cross one name off her death wish list. But then: "I'll give you one try, girl. Kill me and you're free. But if I live, I'll break both your hands." Ayra wisely decides to let the sleeping dog lie.

Later, The Hound rides his horse with Arya awkwardly sitting in front of him. She thinks he's the worst person ever, which we know is not true. But he's a convenient person to hate. He reveals he's actually taking her to meet her brother Robb and her mom at her uncle's wedding at The Twins. He figures the Starks will pay him a finder's fee. The way this season is going, we half expect these two to be forced to marry each other.

Yunkai: Daenerys of Arabia peers down at the walled city of Yunkai. The city has hired a sellsword company called the Second Sons, which Ser Barristan agrees could be "enough to make a difference" in a fight. Dany wants to meet their leader, who like every Thrones character has a cool nickname -- Titan's Bastard. She's confident he'll agree to a meeting: "A man who fights for gold can't afford to lose to a girl."

Titan's Bastard arrives in Dany's tent. Pretty much from the moment he sits down chummily next to Dany we know he won't survive this episode and we're counting the minutes until he gets killed. He says Dany reminds him of a booty-licking prostitute and demands to see her naked to know if she's worth fighting for (Thrones fans have already seen Dany naked and can vouch). If Dany's dragons were in the tent, they would have roasted this guy without prompting (and they should be in the tent, logically, since she's meeting with three dangerous rivals, but let's just say the dragons were busy saving the producers some coin).

One of the Titan's lieutenants  -- Daario -- makes moony eyes at Dany. He looks like Brad Pitt in Legends of the Fall, all blond and smirky and ready for his cover shoot for a trashy romance novel. (Sorry George R.R. Martin fans, no blue beard for Daario, but are you complaining?).

The Second Sons argue they must uphold their contract to the city of Yunkai. "Ride with me and you'll never need another contract," Dany counters. "A fortnight ago I had no army. A year ago I had no dragons." She gives them a couple days to make up their minds and some wine to help think it over.

Back at the Second Sons camp, Daario and the others discuss the merits of whores vs. no-whores. Daario is too proud to pay for sex. He says he fights "for beauty," which I'm assuming means a quality bronzer and volumizing hair products.

Titan's Bastard decides one of them should sneak into Dany's camp and assassinate The Dragon Queen. Sound strategy. He tells the girl to pass out three coins -- no peeking! -- and whoever draws a certain coin must do the deed. I like that the girl keeps her eyes closed and lamely stumbles around instead simply not looking at her hand. Daario draws the fated coin.

NEXT: Melisandre ties up Gendry



Dragonstone: Gendry is brought before Stannis, who quickly sizes him up like a farm animal: Half Robert Baratheon, half lowborn. He doesn't check his teeth but might as well have. Yet Stannis is uncomfortable sacrificing the boy to his mistresses' creepy fire god to gain some vague military advantage. He goes and visits his conscience, Davos. It's probably too easy of a metaphor to point out that Stannis has literally locked his conscience in a dungeon.

"What's one bastard boy against a kingdom?" Stannis asks, trying to convince himself. Stannis offers to free Davos if he promises to never harm Melisandre. That's an easy promise, especially since killing her may be impossible. Davos does not promise, however, to speak out against her murderous ideas. That's why he's a good chief-of-staff and why Stannis needs him around.

Stannis gives us a hint at the prophecy that Melisandre showed him in the flames last season -- "a great battle in the snow." He challenges Davos: Given what they've both witnessed of the Red Woman's power, "How can you deny her god is real?"

It's a great question with no easy answer. It's one that I hope Thrones handles someday because it speaks to the larger issue of religion on the show. So far we've only seen apparent divine intervention from one of the gods worshiped in the series -- the Lord of Light. But this god seems like a total jerk. So what are we, as viewers, supposed to believe? That there is only one true Thrones god and he's an a--hole? Though ... you know ... if we're being honest ... I guess some make the same argument in our world too.

Later, Melisandre plots to seduce the hot younger man. She gives Gendry a luxurious ocean-view room (Dragonstone is an island, so they're probably all ocean-view rooms). She feeds him hearty stew, which is far better than the "bowls of brown" of pretend-chicken he ate as a kid. She gives him fancy wine and praises the "power inside you that you can't begin to understand." Gendry tries to resist Stannis' magic cougar, but can't. She then says her seduction line: "Come fight death with me." Would that work in a bar? Too creepy, right?

Once again, Thrones is elevating the sex scene this season. This is creepy and uncomfortable and we know something isn't right. So when Melisandre starts tying Gendry to the bed with her sneaky leather straps, we know she's not just wanting a little light bondage.

She gets a bowl of leeches. OK, that's not so bad.

"Not there!" Gendry cries.

Oh, so it's kind of bad.

Stannis and Davos enter to find Melisandre naked and Gendry tied to the bed with leeches on his chest and genitals. Awkward, sure, but we've all been there.

She takes the leeches, now engorged with the king's bastard's blood. Stannis throws them, one by one, into the fire, while saying the names of his rival "usurpers" to the Iron Throne -- Robb Stark, Balon Greyjoy (Theon's cruel dad) and Joffrey Baratheon. She calls this a "demonstration." If Stannis getting Melisandre pregnant gives birth to a murderous smoke-monster, what will these leech-curses do? And if you're Gendry, aren't you still wondering if she's still going to have sex with you?

NEXT: Tyrion and Sansa: For better or for worse



King's Landing: Tyrion visits Sansa, whose puffy wedding dress makes her hips look a mile wide. Tyrion has Podrick take out his grouchy mistress Shae for a walk so they can have privacy (oh Shae, if only you knew what you were missing with Podrick!).

Tyrion desperately wants to make this experience less painful for Sansa. "I didn't ask for this ... you won't be a prisoner after today, you will be my wife." Then he adds: "I suppose that's a different kind of prison." But Sansa is beyond comfort, especially from him.

Over in the Great Sept of Baelor, Cersei and Margaery take a stroll. "We'll be sisters, you and I, we should be friends," Margaery says, taking Cersei's arm. She's trying the same charm she uses on Sansa and Joffrey. But Cersei utterly resents Margaery and hates to be touched. Cersei reminds her of the story behind the Lannister theme song, "The Rains of Castamere." She details of her father's destruction of the rebellious House Reyne which, like Margaery's house, was once the second wealthiest in the land. "You ever call me sister again, I'll have you strangled in your sleep," Cersei concludes, and walks away.

For the first time, Margaery loses her composure, looking like she was punched in the gut.

Sansa readies to walk down the aisle. How could this get any worse? Say hello to Joffrey! He's literally bouncing on his heels in delight. We've rarely seen him so cheerful. He's taking the role of Sansa's murdered father and gives her away to Tyrion, relishing her discomfort. Margaery is the only supportive face in the crowd. While Tywin is dressed even more leather-daddy than usual.

At the altar, Joffrey swipes Tyrion's stool. The groom is supposed to symbolically put his bride under a cloak of protection. But Tyrion's too short. What follows is awkward for all involved as he asks Sansa to kneel. She's so spaced out she doesn't even realize what's going on. Tyrion looks very handsome and deeply pissed off.

Later, Tyrion gets property wasted. We hear a lot of talk about Tyrion being a drunkard, but don't see it much. And Peter Dinklage is awfully entertaining as a drunk. His father is annoyed, as always, at any display of indulgence. "Your wife needs a child," Tywin scolds. "If you're going to give her one you need to perform." I'm not sure what Tywin hopes to accomplish by looming over his son and giving him performance anxiety. I suspect nothing works better for withholding your orgasm than thinking of an angry Tywin Lannister (let's all try it sometime!).

Tyrion says, "I'm the god of tits and wine," which sounds like a line from Starz' Spartacus, then raises a salute to miserable-looking Loras -- Your turn next, bro!

Loras attempts to find solace with his bride-to-be. Unfortunately, that's Cersei. "My father once told me--" he beings."Nobody cares what your father once told you," she snaps and walks away. Remember Tyrion's hypothetical question about which of the four people who are being forced to marry has it the worst? I'm now thinking Loras.

Nearby, Joffrey takes extra time to make Sansa extra miserable. He threatens to pop into her chamber for a little honeymoon rape. I suspect this is an empty threat mainly because I don't think Joffrey is interested in doing anything that remotely resembles sex. Still, it has the desired effect on Sansa.

Joffrey then tries to cajole Tyrion and the crowd into starting the "bedding ceremony." This is a Westeros tradition where the clothes are stripped from the bride and groom (the bride by men in the wedding party and the groom by women) and they're jovially taken to their bedroom to have sex. According to some utterly non-authoritative online sources, this is apparently a more bawdy version of an actual Middle Ages custom (that was presumably done to help ensure the marriage is consummated). In any case, we don't see it because Tyrion strongly objects to the bedding ceremony. He's been humiliated all night. He can't take any more of it -- even if his objection costs his life.

He pulls a knife and pounds it into the table and threatens Joffrey: "Then you'll be f--king your own bride with a wooden c--k."

That shuts everybody up.

NEXT: Daario interrupts Dany's bath time

Joffrey is comically flabbergasted.

Tywin deftly defuses the potentially lethal confrontation, giving Tyrion an exit that his son wisely takes: "I'm sure Tyrion did not mean to threaten the king." Tyrion plays along, calling it a "bad joke," and mocks the size of his own member. You get the feeling that Tyrion has seldom been made to feel less adequate about his height in his adult life than on this night. And there's a level of discomfort for us viewers, too, because we love and respect Dinklage and his stature isn't a wig or a costume or prosthetic, but a part of his life.

In their bedchamber, Tyrion asks Sansa her age. She says 14, which surprises us even more than it does Tyrion since she seems older than that on the show (actress Sophie Turner is 17). "Talk won't make you any older," he quips, and she gulps some wine. She starts to get undressed for him and... Tyrion tells her to stop. He can't go through with it. "I won't share your bed ... not until you want me to," Tyrion says. Then Sansa replies, "And what if I never want you to?"

Oh, poor Tyrion. And poor Sansa! Now were you disappointed or relieved Tyrion stopped her? Did you want to see Tyrion and Sansa fool around? If so, isn't there something wrong with that? We're all going to be in therapy by the time this show is over.

The next morning, Shae storms into their room with a hearty plate of eggs and hate. Then she goes to get their sheets and sees that they're ... clean? She's shocked: They had sex standing up!? Oh, wait -- no. They didn't have sex at all. At least there's one person happy with Tyrion today.

Yunkai: Dany is taking a bath and being groomed by her translator Missandei. They're interrupted by Daario with a big knife. He explains that instead of assassinating her like he was ordered, he killed the two Second Sons captains, brought her their heads and wants to pledge his men to her. And why did he do all this? Is it her claim to the Iron Throne? Her persuasive arguments? Her leadership skills and comfy sofa and rad dragons? Nope. She's just smoking hot.

"I'm the simplest man you'll ever meet," he says.

So Dany gives Daario the full frontal that Titan's Bastard requested and he heroically maintains eye contact. "My sword is yours, my life is yours, my heart is yours," Daario says. I think he left one thing out.

North of the Wall: Sam and Gilly find a cabin in the woods. He can't build a fire and they debate the difference between a wink and a blink. I yell from the couch that a wink is only with one eye, but the TV people don't listen. She has a lot of terrible ideas for naming her son, mainly because she's only met terrible men. How about Sam Jr.?

Outside there's loud squawking. Sam goes to look and finds an inbound White Walker. He's totally shocked because this episode isn't a season premiere or finale. He tries fighting with his sword and the demon shatters it. Then he tries one of those shards of "dragonglass" (obsidian) that he found buried way up north. He stabs the White Walker and it dies in a spectacularly icy fashion. Those glass things might come in handy. And how about that -- Sam was useful! I want him to tell Gilly: Yeah I can't build a fire but I just killed a freakin' White Walker so how do you like me now?

Best Scene: It's not one scene, but the entire King's Landing wedding sequence was highly entertaining and it's tough to pick out one moment as above the rest: Awkward, sad, witty, scary, fun.

Best Line: "Come fight death with me" is great. Also love: "You ever call me sister again, I'll have you strangled in your sleep."

Another shorter-than-usual recap this week, but I have big plans for the final two episodes. First, next week, HBO is not airing Thrones due to Memorial Day weekend (presumably because holiday weekends have lower viewership levels). You can bet there's going to be some wailing Thrones fans when they turn on HBO at 9 p.m. and the network is airing Behind the Candelabra.

But the Sunday after that HBO airs a new episode titled "The Rains of Castamere." Fans know that the ninth episode is always a biggie, and this year is no exception. In fact, you better just stay off the Internet entirely until after watching Thrones on June 2. Then come to EW.com, where I'll be live-blogging the Thrones recap starting at 9 p.m. ET, plus posting a few items in the Inside TV blog throughout the evening that I promise you will not want to miss. Until then, let's fight death as much as possible!]]></ti.ew:seo-story>
			 
			 <ti.ew:episode-type>Regular Episode</ti.ew:episode-type>
			
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword><![CDATA[Game of Thrones]]></ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword>TV</ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[Game of Thrones]]></ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[Game of Thrones]]></ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name><![CDATA[Game of Thrones]]></ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name><![CDATA[Game of Thrones]]></ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name>
			 
			 
			 
			 <guid><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/game-of-thrones-recap-second-sons/]]></guid>
			 <category><![CDATA[TV]]></category>
			 <title type="html"><![CDATA['Game of Thrones' recap: The Honeymooners]]></title>
			 
			 <description type="html"><![CDATA[Tyrion and Sansa's wedding is as painfully awkward as you imagined, while Melisandre ensnares Gendry]]></description>
			 <link><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/game-of-thrones-recap-second-sons/]]></link>
			 <pubDate><![CDATA[Sun, 19 May 2013 22:30:32 -0400 ]]></pubDate>
			 <author><![CDATA[James Hibberd]]></author>			 
			 <ti.ew:excerpt type="html"><![CDATA[Home stretch. Tonight's Game of Thrones is the most focused episode we've seen since Blackwater. The vast majority of the hour was spent in only three locations: Yunkai, Dragonstone and, of course, King's Landing, where Tyrion tied the knot with Sansa in one of the most awkward shotgun crossbow-weddings ever. No Robb, Jaime, Brienne, Bran, Jon or Ygritte this week. But at least we get a little time with...

Woods: Arya wakes. Her nails are really gross. Stunt nails? She grabs a rock and goes to bash her sleeping captor The Hound and finally cross one name off her death wish ......]]></ti.ew:excerpt>
			 <ti.ew:copyright type="html"><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></ti.ew:copyright>
			 <ti.ew:series><![CDATA[Game of Thrones]]></ti.ew:series>
			 <tvSeries><![CDATA[Game of Thrones]]></tvSeries>
			 
			 <utcDate><![CDATA[1369002632]]></utcDate>
			 <postID><![CDATA[33397]]></postID>
			 
			 <ti.ew:airdate>Sun, 19 May 2013 00:00:00 +0000</ti.ew:airdate>
			 <ti.ew:airdate-formatted>May 19</ti.ew:airdate-formatted>
			 <ti.ew:content-type>Recap</ti.ew:content-type>
			 <ti.ew:channel>TV</ti.ew:channel>
			 <ti.ew:community-section-name>TV Watch</ti.ew:community-section-name>
			 <ti.ew:eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:eyebrow>			
			 <ti.ew:network><![CDATA[HBO]]></ti.ew:network>
			 <tvNetwork><![CDATA[HBO]]></tvNetwork>
			
			 <ti.ew:communityCommentsID>tvr_33397</ti.ew:communityCommentsID>
			 <ti.ew:community-resource-id>tvr_33397</ti.ew:community-resource-id>			
			 <commentBoardId>tvr_33397</commentBoardId>
			 
			 <viewerLink></viewerLink>
			
			 <ti.ew:hilite><![CDATA[Sun, May 19 | HBO]]></ti.ew:hilite>
			 
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			 <thumbnail612x380>http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2013/05/17/Game-of-Thrones-Tyrion_612x380.jpg</thumbnail612x380>
			 
			 <ti.ew:image-credit><![CDATA[HBO]]></ti.ew:image-credit>
			 
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-credit>HBO</ti.ew:image-seo-credit>
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-caption>WEDDING TACKLE Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) endures a demeaning evening.</ti.ew:image-seo-caption>
			 
			 <ti.ew:media>TV</ti.ew:media>
			 
			 <ti.ew:starship>NO</ti.ew:starship>
			 <ti.ew:grade>--</ti.ew:grade>
			 
			 <ti.ew:genre>Drama</ti.ew:genre>
			 <ti.ew:episode>Episode 08</ti.ew:episode>
			 <ti.ew:season>Season 3</ti.ew:season>			
			 
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			  <media:credit role="photographer"><![CDATA[HBO]]></media:credit>
			  <media:copyright><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></media:copyright>
			  <media:caption type="html"><![CDATA[<p><strong>WEDDING TACKLE</strong> Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) endures a demeaning evening.</p>]]></media:caption>
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			 <ti.ew:blog>TV Recaps</ti.ew:blog>
			 <ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>
			 <ti.ew:headline><![CDATA['Doctor Who' season finale recap: An Open Wound]]></ti.ew:headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-headline><![CDATA['Doctor Who' season finale recap: An Open Wound]]></ti.ew:seo-headline>
			 <ti.ew:headline-sort><![CDATA[Doctor Who' season finale recap: An Open Wound]]></ti.ew:headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:headline-a>D</ti.ew:headline-a>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline><![CDATA['Doctor Who' season finale recap: An Open Wound]]></ti.ew:tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-headline><![CDATA['Doctor Who' season finale recap: An Open Wound]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-sort><![CDATA[Doctor Who season finale recap: An Open Wound]]></ti.ew:tout-headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-a>D</ti.ew:tout-headline-a>
			 
			 <ti.ew:deck><![CDATA[Just one question for you, Doctor: What is your name?]]></ti.ew:deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-deck><![CDATA[Just one question for you, Doctor: What is your name?]]></ti.ew:seo-deck>
			 <ti.ew:tout-deck><![CDATA[Just one question for you, Doctor: What is your name?]]></ti.ew:tout-deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-deck><![CDATA[Just one question for you, Doctor: What is your name?]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-deck>			 
			 
			 <ti.ew:story><![CDATA[It was always going to be a weird season of <em>Doctor Who</em>. Longtime companions were leaving and a new companion was coming in. Showrunner Steven Moffat had turned seasons 5 and 6 of <em>Who </em>into interlocking mythologies, with episodes doubling as puzzle pieces. The bigger picture kept changing, but not Moffat's plan to piece them all together. He erased time, gave the Doctor a wife, and gave the TARDIS a body. If you believe that Moffat's run on the show is maybe the best it's had, as I do, season 7 was always a tall order. Having gone most anywhere, where would he go next?

(A note for our continuity-minded readers: Regular <em>Who </em>recapper Darren Franich is tied up in another dimension.)

The answer, we now know, is nowhere really. Of course <em>yes </em>the season's two halves -- the Amy/Rory half; the Clara half -- went across the stars and fought the good alien fight. But instead of continuing to one-up Moffat's impossible promises (that time-travel was a storyteller's master key, allowing the series to come alive with exploration as an expression of not just humanity but <em>human</em>ness), the show dispatched the Ponds and delivered to us an "Impossible Girl," Clara Oswin, with the impossible ability to come back from the dead, no matter the year, place, or cause of death. Before this week, it was a hook nifty enough to let Clara get away without having a personality. Nothing against Jenna-Louise Coleman, but does Clara <em>want </em>anything? She has preferences but not needs.

All of that and would you believe it? The season finale, "The Name of the Doctor," was good -- good in the way I've come to expect <em>and</em> good in a way I'd hoped <em>Who </em>would be again. Written by Moffat (his first credit since the spring premiere), the finale answered multiple questions, including what's up with Clara, what's happened to River Song, and what would happen if a TARDIS (gulp) died. But the hour's strength was its center, a question: What is the Doctor's name?

But first, the question of Clara -- literally, the episode begins with her questions. In Gallifrey "a very long time ago," we see the First Doctor make off with his TARDIS for the first time before Clara crashes into the archival footage. "Sorry," she says, "but you're about to make a very big mistake." The pattern repeats: Cut-cut-cut, each new sequence is another of the Doctor's regenerations, all coming across Clara. Meanwhile, she appears to be falling into a fiery (or at least hotly-glowing) abyss. "I don't know where I am," she voice-overs. "It's like I'm breaking into a million pieces and there's only one thing I can remember: I have to save the Doctor."

And also: "I blew into this world on a leaf. I'm still blowing. I don't think I'll ever land. I'm Clara Oswin, the impossible girl. I was born to save the Doctor."

<strong>NEXT: The Doctor and all his friends</strong>



London, 1893: It's dark and dank and prison-y. A crazy man mutters about the "Whispermen." A noise! A lizard! It's Vastra (so happy to see her again) and the bald crazy man wants to make a trade. He's been tuning into "the babble of the world" and has information about something in exchange for his life -- and not just any information: This bit is good enough to save him from his crimes as a woman-murderer. The Doctor has a secret that he will take to his grave. "And it is discovered."

That's good enough for Vastra, who arranges "a conference call" with her good (human) wife Jenny, gathering the gang. Strax -- it's his weekend off -- is in Glasgow fighting (apparently to death) and has to be knocked out by his opponent after a street urchin interrupts their battle with the message. Clara is back at home with the kids, making a soufflé. There's chatter about the metaphysics of soufflé-ing. She notices a letter. It's old! It's more: Reading it, Clara learns that Vastra has enclosed a candle which contains a soporific which will induce a trance that will carry her across time and space so that they might convene. It's important. It's about the Doctor. But Vastra, assuming that Clara might not trust her or the strange correspondence, has doused the letter in the same substance. Out Clara passes.

The trance looks like this: There are candles, classical music, and a fancy inscribed table around which we find Vastra, Jenny, Strax, and now Clara. The tea is quite good (it's made of memories). Clara's surprised to be there, but she's more surprised to learn of the imminent arrival of one River Song. River Song? River Song! And there she is, the professor, topped with hair and (disgracefully) summoning a bottle of champagne at her elbow. Clara's heard a lot about her, of course, but she never knew that Professor Song was a woman. River doesn't seem to have known anything about the Doctor's newest "current traveling assistant." This will change.

With a swirl, Vastra calls up some dust-y particles to replay footage from that earlier prison scene, with the crazy man spilling his spoils. He has space-time coordinates, the location of the Doctor's greatest secret -- which no one knows, because no one knows the Doctor's greatest secret. Clara thinks she knows it, probably. Well then: What is the Doctor's name? Clara doesn't know and can't remember why she doesn't know. <em>River </em>knows, but obviously. (How? "It took a while," she says.) Clara's confused -- so many new faces! River is a friend of the Doctor's; indeed, she is...a little more than (a long time ago, of course; everything major in the <em>Who</em>-verse happens a long time ago, meaning now). But the Doctor hasn't contacted River in quite a long time. Vastra disapproves, but the professor shrugs. "He doesn't like endings."

Anyway, River wants to know how they know that the prisoner was telling the truth. Vastra says he gave her one word: Trenzalore. That makes things worse, actually. How did he describe the information, exactly? Re: the magic dust video. River says they've misunderstood, with graveness on the syllable <em>mis</em>.

At the same time, Jenny has been freaking out because she thinks that she forgot to lock the door before she and Vastra went into the trance and she thinks that someone has broken in and (not now, Jenny!) she thinks that she might have been murdered. With a single tear, Jenny disappears, dead. It gets worse: White-skinned, black-mouthed creatures in top hats are attacking each of them in turn. "Tell the Doctor," they chant. "His friends are lost forevermore unless he goes to Trenzalore."

<strong>NEXT: To Trenzalore</strong>



In order to avoid Jenny's same fate, River gets the rest of the group to wake themselves up. (A good slap to the face is sometimes necessary.)  Clara, back at home, finds that the Doctor has joined her. Except he's blindfolded. And the children are gone. They wanted to go to the cinema, see, and the Doctor told them <em>no</em>. So then they suggested that he play a game with them, blindfolded. Little Daleks!

Clara fills him in on the latest and breaking. River's back, which is cause for some discussion. But the talk of Trenzalore is far, far more important. Indeed, it is with some alarm that we notice the Doctor has taken a seat in the living room and looks very, very shaken. Matt Smith Sad Face alert! (Is it the best of his faces? Debate.) Sorry! he says, and dashes off to the TARDIS, where Clara finds him beneath the main console, inconsolable. Even the Doctor doesn't quite know what's at Trenzalore. But River knows (River always knows).

In another moment, he's plugging Clara into the ship's telepathic circuits in order to use the coordinates that are still rolling around in her memory. They'll go to Trenzalore! But, like, they can't? "When you are a time traveler, there is one place you must never go. One place in all of space and time that you must never, ever find yourself." That crazy prisoner wasn't talking about the Doctor's secret being discovered -- he was talking about the Doctor's <em>grave</em>. That's the problem with being a time traveler: Everyone's grave is waiting for them, out there in the future. And with a quick hop, you can go visit.

Of course they have to go. There are friends to save, friends that have been very kind to the Doctor when they had no reason to be, non-judgmental during "the dark times." <em>Of course </em>he has to go. Clara is coming, too. And the only way to save them, apparently, is by breaking into the Doctor's tomb. Unfortunately the TARDIS isn't too keen on this idea -- there are timey-wimey laws that even it would prefer not to bend or break. It won't let them quite make it to Trenzalore (which appears glowing and fiery, <em>á la </em>the opening bit) and leaves them stranded in space, circling around it. Should we jump? Clara asks. "Don't be silly," the Doctor says. "We fall."

<strong>NEXT: The Doctor's grave</strong>



Down on the planet's surface, the Doctor notices that Trenzalore is covered in a giant battlefield graveyard. (He cracked a window pane on the ship, too. <em>Who</em>vians, is this the first time we've seen the TARDIS noticeably damaged under assault?) The Doctor explains that the biggest gravestones are reserved for the highest-ranked soldiers. They look up and see a giant TARDIS -- it's <em>enormous</em>. And it's <em>his </em>TARDIS, what's left of it. When it dies, "all the bigger on the inside starts leaking on the outside."

River Song appears! It's a wonderful tendency of hers throughout the episode. She claims the Doctor won't be able to see or hear her, though Clara will because River has maintained the psychic link from their earlier "conference." The Doctor sees River's grave, which shouldn't be right? Except that she's dead -- "should have mentioned that," he says. It's a long story involving a library, but her grave can't be <em>here</em>. The white-skinned men appear again, as if they're omnipresent. Maybe it isn't a grave, River whisper-says to Clara, who shout-says it to the Doctor. Maybe it's a secret entrance. It <em>is </em>a secret entrance, and down the Doctor and Clara fall into it, alongside the revelation that River song is the Doctor's wife.

Inside the giant TARDIS husk (sad face), Strax and Vastra are alive and awakening. Jenny, however, is still dead, though Vastra gets Strax to remedy that with an "electro-cardio restart" to her shock-stricken heart. This allows for a lovely couplet of conversation, as the lizard woman holds her once-dead human wife. Strax says, "The heart is a relatively simple thing." Vastra responds, "I've not found it to be so."

The white-skinned men appear again, circling the trio. Leading them is Dr. Simeon, who we last saw dying at the end of Christmas special "The Snowmen." Ah, he's dead, but the omnipotent parasite that he served isn't. That's who this is: The Great Intelligence. "Welcome to the final resting place of the cruel tyrant, of the slaughterer of the ten billion and the vessel of the final darkness," Simeon says, "the tomb of the Doctor." Lightning strikes! But know that there will be parsing of this leitmotif to come.

Clara and the Doctor are scouring through some catacombs (Clara <em>hates </em>catacombs) while also unraveling the mystery of how River is even alive, kind of. She isn't: After the events of "Silence in the Library"/"Forest of the Dead," a much earlier Moffat two-parter, the Doctor preserved River's spirit/consciousness in a database in the largest library in the universe and then left her there "like a book on a shelf." Didn't even say goodbye (endings, understand).

At Dead TARDIS Central, Vastra, et al. are still questioning TGI about its plans. He knows so much about the Battle of Trenzalore -- it was a minor skirmish by the Doctor's standards, no Time War, but still enough -- and about the Doctor's bloody past because he <em>is </em>information. Literally, TGI rips back Simeon's face like a peel to reveal that his body is hollow. It collapses but in a moment, TGI has jumped to one of the white-skinned men transformed it into another Dr. Simeon. Neat.

<strong>NEXT: "What were you expecting: a body?"
</strong>



Clara and the Doctor are still running from Simeon's creatures, up and up through a ruined TARDIS. Clara begins to feel woozy, a feeling of having done this before -- running through a TARDIS, again and again. The Doctor comforts her by not, telling her that the ship's telepathic circuits are awakening memories that she isn't even supposed to have. She's understandably frantic: "How can I die? What do you mean I died?"

Meanwhile, Simeon needs to open a door and the key is a word and the word is the Doctor's. Who arrives! (People are always arriving like that, with exclamations attached.) Simeon orders him to open the tomb, to answer the question that only he knows: "Doctor, what is your name?" The Doctor is having none of it, so Simeon threatens to kill his friends -- a reliably effective tactic, and more useful here because Simeon's goons reform when attacked.

Before any of that terribleness happens, though, the tomb opens. Out walks River Song. The TARDIS can still hear her (she and the TARDIS are <em>so </em>close). But why did she say his name? Clara is shaken from the attack and gets a conciliatory hug while TGI is happy to have access, finally. It will bring peace for him -- and pain, "everlasting," for the Doctor.

Inside, we see the tomb is actually the main room of the TARDIS. Except the room is all overgrown and glowing a turquoise-blue -- the source of which is a giant arc of energy at the center. "What were you expecting: a body?" the Doctor asks. "Bodies are boring. I've had loads of 'em. That's not what my tomb is for."

No, the tomb holds everything the Doctor's body <em>isn't</em>: "Time travel, it's like a tear in the fabric of reality. This is the scar tissue," he explains, a collection of all of the Doctor's days, good and bad, even the ones he hasn't lived. But being so close to it has weakened him and he collapses. The paradox of his presence is very bad for his health.

TGI approaches the energy -- it's like an open wound and so can be entered. It will kill him as a result, but it will destroy the Doctor by allowing TGI to rewrite his every living moment, turning victories into defeats and poisoning friendships. TGI may be "scattered along his timeline like confetti" but the Doctor will be undone. He enters the stream; the white-skinned men disappear and everyone freaks out.

<strong>NEXT: "There will be consequences"</strong>



With Simeon now at every point of the Doctor's timeline, we see various old Doctors encountering him and going wrong, all being killed. The Dalek Asylum; London. Vastra heads outside to survey the damage among the stars. As she explains, "A universe without the Doctor. There will be consequences."

And yes: One by one, so many local star systems are being lost, all the lives saved by the Doctor in his lifetime being un-saved. Even Jenny. Even Strax, who attacks Vastra before disappearing (dissolving?).

As the Doctor writhes, Clara is just realizing how impossible she really is, how she has been able to die and die and die and still save the Doctor. She has to do it again -- for the first time. She has to enter his time stream. River warns her that the time winds will tear Clara into a million pieces, all living and dying, but none truly <em>her</em>. She will become copies. So be it: Like Clara's mom always said, the soufflé isn't the soufflé, it's the recipe. (Clara is Soufflé Girl after all.) With a final line -- "Run, run you clever boy...and remember me" -- Clara leaps into the time stream. The episode's beginning voice-over replays. I realize now that it isn't an abyss that Clara is falling into, it's <em>time</em>. She saves each Doctor, and even tells the First one which TARDIS to steal.

The Doctor's time stream changes, from its wounded red to blue again. They are restored, Strax and Jenny and Vastra. But not Clara. The Doctor insists on saving her, though River warns him that stepping into his own time stream is madness. Use the TARDIS, use something, but be sensible! This she says with a slap, but he catches her slap -- he can <em>see </em>her, and hear her, too."You're always here to me," he tells her. This is both good news and bad: River is just an echo now, and she should be fading. But she can't, not without a proper goodbye. But the Doctor can't, he doesn't know how. (So sad, y'all.) The only way is the best way, River says, to leave her as if he will return. He works his face a bit and smiles. "See you around, Professor Song."

One more thing, before the Doctor jumps in: River is still mentally linked to Clara, which means she's still alive. How? River smiles before fading away. "Spoilers."

<strong>NEXT: The Doctor's secret</strong>



With the Doctor joining Clara inside his time stream, we see that she's fallen into a stormy, foggy, echo-y place and is lost. Everything around her <em>is </em>the Doctor, but isn't. She can hear his voice and see his previous forms, but not him, not his 11th face. So he sends her something, not from his past but from hers. It's a leaf, the one that began her life, floating down to her. Hold tight to it, he tells her. It will take you home.

But also: The Doctor arrives! (Moffat, preserve your climaxes.) She's wary but he urges her over. How many times now has she saved him? Let him once return the favor. They embrace and are assuredly on their way to saving each other when the Doctor sees a figure, out over on the edge, his back to us. Who is that? Clara asks. It's me, the Doctor says, but with a different name -- not like the Doctor, who chose his present title. Names are like promises, and this man is the one who broke the promise. Clara collapses into the Doctor's arms, dizzy from the convolutions. "He is my secret," the Doctor tells no one/us.

The man speaks: "What I did, I did without choice in the name of peace and sanity."

The Doctor replies: "But not in the name of the Doctor."

The man turns: <strong>Introducing JOHN HURT as THE DOCTOR</strong>

That's right, y'all: a development so enticingly arbitrary that it probably allows any possibility. The final bit of the finale is almost certainly a toss to the 50th Anniversary special in November, also a Moffat joint, of which Hurt will almost certainly play a role. Setting aside the tasty bits from the rest of the episode -- sketching in more moods for the Doctor, post-Amy/Rory and post-River, other than "inquisitive melancholy" -- this is Moffat's big, mythos-expanding stroke, and an anarchic bit of wordplay besides. (I'll give you <em>all </em>of the names!) I thought the episode was really strong before the reveal, but I'm not sure it's any better <em>because </em>of it. Do you like the direction <em>Who </em>is headed? How great/sad (or sad/great) was River's return? And isn't it possible that the Doctor's name is John, or am I just being a lousy American?

All speculation is welcome below, as are all revisions, retconning, reduxes and un-duxes. Timelines be damned!

<a href="https://twitter.com/acarlson91"><em>Follow Adam on Twitter</em></a>]]></ti.ew:story>
			 <ti.ew:seo-story><![CDATA[It was always going to be a weird season of Doctor Who. Longtime companions were leaving and a new companion was coming in. Showrunner Steven Moffat had turned seasons 5 and 6 of Who into interlocking mythologies, with episodes doubling as puzzle pieces. The bigger picture kept changing, but not Moffat's plan to piece them all together. He erased time, gave the Doctor a wife, and gave the TARDIS a body. If you believe that Moffat's run on the show is maybe the best it's had, as I do, season 7 was always a tall order. Having gone most anywhere, where would he go next?

(A note for our continuity-minded readers: Regular Who recapper Darren Franich is tied up in another dimension.)

The answer, we now know, is nowhere really. Of course yes the season's two halves -- the Amy/Rory half; the Clara half -- went across the stars and fought the good alien fight. But instead of continuing to one-up Moffat's impossible promises (that time-travel was a storyteller's master key, allowing the series to come alive with exploration as an expression of not just humanity but humanness), the show dispatched the Ponds and delivered to us an "Impossible Girl," Clara Oswin, with the impossible ability to come back from the dead, no matter the year, place, or cause of death. Before this week, it was a hook nifty enough to let Clara get away without having a personality. Nothing against Jenna-Louise Coleman, but does Clara want anything? She has preferences but not needs.

All of that and would you believe it? The season finale, "The Name of the Doctor," was good -- good in the way I've come to expect and good in a way I'd hoped Who would be again. Written by Moffat (his first credit since the spring premiere), the finale answered multiple questions, including what's up with Clara, what's happened to River Song, and what would happen if a TARDIS (gulp) died. But the hour's strength was its center, a question: What is the Doctor's name?

But first, the question of Clara -- literally, the episode begins with her questions. In Gallifrey "a very long time ago," we see the First Doctor make off with his TARDIS for the first time before Clara crashes into the archival footage. "Sorry," she says, "but you're about to make a very big mistake." The pattern repeats: Cut-cut-cut, each new sequence is another of the Doctor's regenerations, all coming across Clara. Meanwhile, she appears to be falling into a fiery (or at least hotly-glowing) abyss. "I don't know where I am," she voice-overs. "It's like I'm breaking into a million pieces and there's only one thing I can remember: I have to save the Doctor."

And also: "I blew into this world on a leaf. I'm still blowing. I don't think I'll ever land. I'm Clara Oswin, the impossible girl. I was born to save the Doctor."

NEXT: The Doctor and all his friends



London, 1893: It's dark and dank and prison-y. A crazy man mutters about the "Whispermen." A noise! A lizard! It's Vastra (so happy to see her again) and the bald crazy man wants to make a trade. He's been tuning into "the babble of the world" and has information about something in exchange for his life -- and not just any information: This bit is good enough to save him from his crimes as a woman-murderer. The Doctor has a secret that he will take to his grave. "And it is discovered."

That's good enough for Vastra, who arranges "a conference call" with her good (human) wife Jenny, gathering the gang. Strax -- it's his weekend off -- is in Glasgow fighting (apparently to death) and has to be knocked out by his opponent after a street urchin interrupts their battle with the message. Clara is back at home with the kids, making a soufflé. There's chatter about the metaphysics of soufflé-ing. She notices a letter. It's old! It's more: Reading it, Clara learns that Vastra has enclosed a candle which contains a soporific which will induce a trance that will carry her across time and space so that they might convene. It's important. It's about the Doctor. But Vastra, assuming that Clara might not trust her or the strange correspondence, has doused the letter in the same substance. Out Clara passes.

The trance looks like this: There are candles, classical music, and a fancy inscribed table around which we find Vastra, Jenny, Strax, and now Clara. The tea is quite good (it's made of memories). Clara's surprised to be there, but she's more surprised to learn of the imminent arrival of one River Song. River Song? River Song! And there she is, the professor, topped with hair and (disgracefully) summoning a bottle of champagne at her elbow. Clara's heard a lot about her, of course, but she never knew that Professor Song was a woman. River doesn't seem to have known anything about the Doctor's newest "current traveling assistant." This will change.

With a swirl, Vastra calls up some dust-y particles to replay footage from that earlier prison scene, with the crazy man spilling his spoils. He has space-time coordinates, the location of the Doctor's greatest secret -- which no one knows, because no one knows the Doctor's greatest secret. Clara thinks she knows it, probably. Well then: What is the Doctor's name? Clara doesn't know and can't remember why she doesn't know. River knows, but obviously. (How? "It took a while," she says.) Clara's confused -- so many new faces! River is a friend of the Doctor's; indeed, she is...a little more than (a long time ago, of course; everything major in the Who-verse happens a long time ago, meaning now). But the Doctor hasn't contacted River in quite a long time. Vastra disapproves, but the professor shrugs. "He doesn't like endings."

Anyway, River wants to know how they know that the prisoner was telling the truth. Vastra says he gave her one word: Trenzalore. That makes things worse, actually. How did he describe the information, exactly? Re: the magic dust video. River says they've misunderstood, with graveness on the syllable mis.

At the same time, Jenny has been freaking out because she thinks that she forgot to lock the door before she and Vastra went into the trance and she thinks that someone has broken in and (not now, Jenny!) she thinks that she might have been murdered. With a single tear, Jenny disappears, dead. It gets worse: White-skinned, black-mouthed creatures in top hats are attacking each of them in turn. "Tell the Doctor," they chant. "His friends are lost forevermore unless he goes to Trenzalore."

NEXT: To Trenzalore



In order to avoid Jenny's same fate, River gets the rest of the group to wake themselves up. (A good slap to the face is sometimes necessary.)  Clara, back at home, finds that the Doctor has joined her. Except he's blindfolded. And the children are gone. They wanted to go to the cinema, see, and the Doctor told them no. So then they suggested that he play a game with them, blindfolded. Little Daleks!

Clara fills him in on the latest and breaking. River's back, which is cause for some discussion. But the talk of Trenzalore is far, far more important. Indeed, it is with some alarm that we notice the Doctor has taken a seat in the living room and looks very, very shaken. Matt Smith Sad Face alert! (Is it the best of his faces? Debate.) Sorry! he says, and dashes off to the TARDIS, where Clara finds him beneath the main console, inconsolable. Even the Doctor doesn't quite know what's at Trenzalore. But River knows (River always knows).

In another moment, he's plugging Clara into the ship's telepathic circuits in order to use the coordinates that are still rolling around in her memory. They'll go to Trenzalore! But, like, they can't? "When you are a time traveler, there is one place you must never go. One place in all of space and time that you must never, ever find yourself." That crazy prisoner wasn't talking about the Doctor's secret being discovered -- he was talking about the Doctor's grave. That's the problem with being a time traveler: Everyone's grave is waiting for them, out there in the future. And with a quick hop, you can go visit.

Of course they have to go. There are friends to save, friends that have been very kind to the Doctor when they had no reason to be, non-judgmental during "the dark times." Of course he has to go. Clara is coming, too. And the only way to save them, apparently, is by breaking into the Doctor's tomb. Unfortunately the TARDIS isn't too keen on this idea -- there are timey-wimey laws that even it would prefer not to bend or break. It won't let them quite make it to Trenzalore (which appears glowing and fiery, á la the opening bit) and leaves them stranded in space, circling around it. Should we jump? Clara asks. "Don't be silly," the Doctor says. "We fall."

NEXT: The Doctor's grave



Down on the planet's surface, the Doctor notices that Trenzalore is covered in a giant battlefield graveyard. (He cracked a window pane on the ship, too. Whovians, is this the first time we've seen the TARDIS noticeably damaged under assault?) The Doctor explains that the biggest gravestones are reserved for the highest-ranked soldiers. They look up and see a giant TARDIS -- it's enormous. And it's his TARDIS, what's left of it. When it dies, "all the bigger on the inside starts leaking on the outside."

River Song appears! It's a wonderful tendency of hers throughout the episode. She claims the Doctor won't be able to see or hear her, though Clara will because River has maintained the psychic link from their earlier "conference." The Doctor sees River's grave, which shouldn't be right? Except that she's dead -- "should have mentioned that," he says. It's a long story involving a library, but her grave can't be here. The white-skinned men appear again, as if they're omnipresent. Maybe it isn't a grave, River whisper-says to Clara, who shout-says it to the Doctor. Maybe it's a secret entrance. It is a secret entrance, and down the Doctor and Clara fall into it, alongside the revelation that River song is the Doctor's wife.

Inside the giant TARDIS husk (sad face), Strax and Vastra are alive and awakening. Jenny, however, is still dead, though Vastra gets Strax to remedy that with an "electro-cardio restart" to her shock-stricken heart. This allows for a lovely couplet of conversation, as the lizard woman holds her once-dead human wife. Strax says, "The heart is a relatively simple thing." Vastra responds, "I've not found it to be so."

The white-skinned men appear again, circling the trio. Leading them is Dr. Simeon, who we last saw dying at the end of Christmas special "The Snowmen." Ah, he's dead, but the omnipotent parasite that he served isn't. That's who this is: The Great Intelligence. "Welcome to the final resting place of the cruel tyrant, of the slaughterer of the ten billion and the vessel of the final darkness," Simeon says, "the tomb of the Doctor." Lightning strikes! But know that there will be parsing of this leitmotif to come.

Clara and the Doctor are scouring through some catacombs (Clara hates catacombs) while also unraveling the mystery of how River is even alive, kind of. She isn't: After the events of "Silence in the Library"/"Forest of the Dead," a much earlier Moffat two-parter, the Doctor preserved River's spirit/consciousness in a database in the largest library in the universe and then left her there "like a book on a shelf." Didn't even say goodbye (endings, understand).

At Dead TARDIS Central, Vastra, et al. are still questioning TGI about its plans. He knows so much about the Battle of Trenzalore -- it was a minor skirmish by the Doctor's standards, no Time War, but still enough -- and about the Doctor's bloody past because he is information. Literally, TGI rips back Simeon's face like a peel to reveal that his body is hollow. It collapses but in a moment, TGI has jumped to one of the white-skinned men transformed it into another Dr. Simeon. Neat.

NEXT: "What were you expecting: a body?"




Clara and the Doctor are still running from Simeon's creatures, up and up through a ruined TARDIS. Clara begins to feel woozy, a feeling of having done this before -- running through a TARDIS, again and again. The Doctor comforts her by not, telling her that the ship's telepathic circuits are awakening memories that she isn't even supposed to have. She's understandably frantic: "How can I die? What do you mean I died?"

Meanwhile, Simeon needs to open a door and the key is a word and the word is the Doctor's. Who arrives! (People are always arriving like that, with exclamations attached.) Simeon orders him to open the tomb, to answer the question that only he knows: "Doctor, what is your name?" The Doctor is having none of it, so Simeon threatens to kill his friends -- a reliably effective tactic, and more useful here because Simeon's goons reform when attacked.

Before any of that terribleness happens, though, the tomb opens. Out walks River Song. The TARDIS can still hear her (she and the TARDIS are so close). But why did she say his name? Clara is shaken from the attack and gets a conciliatory hug while TGI is happy to have access, finally. It will bring peace for him -- and pain, "everlasting," for the Doctor.

Inside, we see the tomb is actually the main room of the TARDIS. Except the room is all overgrown and glowing a turquoise-blue -- the source of which is a giant arc of energy at the center. "What were you expecting: a body?" the Doctor asks. "Bodies are boring. I've had loads of 'em. That's not what my tomb is for."

No, the tomb holds everything the Doctor's body isn't: "Time travel, it's like a tear in the fabric of reality. This is the scar tissue," he explains, a collection of all of the Doctor's days, good and bad, even the ones he hasn't lived. But being so close to it has weakened him and he collapses. The paradox of his presence is very bad for his health.

TGI approaches the energy -- it's like an open wound and so can be entered. It will kill him as a result, but it will destroy the Doctor by allowing TGI to rewrite his every living moment, turning victories into defeats and poisoning friendships. TGI may be "scattered along his timeline like confetti" but the Doctor will be undone. He enters the stream; the white-skinned men disappear and everyone freaks out.

NEXT: "There will be consequences"



With Simeon now at every point of the Doctor's timeline, we see various old Doctors encountering him and going wrong, all being killed. The Dalek Asylum; London. Vastra heads outside to survey the damage among the stars. As she explains, "A universe without the Doctor. There will be consequences."

And yes: One by one, so many local star systems are being lost, all the lives saved by the Doctor in his lifetime being un-saved. Even Jenny. Even Strax, who attacks Vastra before disappearing (dissolving?).

As the Doctor writhes, Clara is just realizing how impossible she really is, how she has been able to die and die and die and still save the Doctor. She has to do it again -- for the first time. She has to enter his time stream. River warns her that the time winds will tear Clara into a million pieces, all living and dying, but none truly her. She will become copies. So be it: Like Clara's mom always said, the soufflé isn't the soufflé, it's the recipe. (Clara is Soufflé Girl after all.) With a final line -- "Run, run you clever boy...and remember me" -- Clara leaps into the time stream. The episode's beginning voice-over replays. I realize now that it isn't an abyss that Clara is falling into, it's time. She saves each Doctor, and even tells the First one which TARDIS to steal.

The Doctor's time stream changes, from its wounded red to blue again. They are restored, Strax and Jenny and Vastra. But not Clara. The Doctor insists on saving her, though River warns him that stepping into his own time stream is madness. Use the TARDIS, use something, but be sensible! This she says with a slap, but he catches her slap -- he can see her, and hear her, too."You're always here to me," he tells her. This is both good news and bad: River is just an echo now, and she should be fading. But she can't, not without a proper goodbye. But the Doctor can't, he doesn't know how. (So sad, y'all.) The only way is the best way, River says, to leave her as if he will return. He works his face a bit and smiles. "See you around, Professor Song."

One more thing, before the Doctor jumps in: River is still mentally linked to Clara, which means she's still alive. How? River smiles before fading away. "Spoilers."

NEXT: The Doctor's secret



With the Doctor joining Clara inside his time stream, we see that she's fallen into a stormy, foggy, echo-y place and is lost. Everything around her is the Doctor, but isn't. She can hear his voice and see his previous forms, but not him, not his 11th face. So he sends her something, not from his past but from hers. It's a leaf, the one that began her life, floating down to her. Hold tight to it, he tells her. It will take you home.

But also: The Doctor arrives! (Moffat, preserve your climaxes.) She's wary but he urges her over. How many times now has she saved him? Let him once return the favor. They embrace and are assuredly on their way to saving each other when the Doctor sees a figure, out over on the edge, his back to us. Who is that? Clara asks. It's me, the Doctor says, but with a different name -- not like the Doctor, who chose his present title. Names are like promises, and this man is the one who broke the promise. Clara collapses into the Doctor's arms, dizzy from the convolutions. "He is my secret," the Doctor tells no one/us.

The man speaks: "What I did, I did without choice in the name of peace and sanity."

The Doctor replies: "But not in the name of the Doctor."

The man turns: Introducing JOHN HURT as THE DOCTOR

That's right, y'all: a development so enticingly arbitrary that it probably allows any possibility. The final bit of the finale is almost certainly a toss to the 50th Anniversary special in November, also a Moffat joint, of which Hurt will almost certainly play a role. Setting aside the tasty bits from the rest of the episode -- sketching in more moods for the Doctor, post-Amy/Rory and post-River, other than "inquisitive melancholy" -- this is Moffat's big, mythos-expanding stroke, and an anarchic bit of wordplay besides. (I'll give you all of the names!) I thought the episode was really strong before the reveal, but I'm not sure it's any better because of it. Do you like the direction Who is headed? How great/sad (or sad/great) was River's return? And isn't it possible that the Doctor's name is John, or am I just being a lousy American?

All speculation is welcome below, as are all revisions, retconning, reduxes and un-duxes. Timelines be damned!

Follow Adam on Twitter]]></ti.ew:seo-story>
			 
			 <ti.ew:episode-type>Regular Episode</ti.ew:episode-type>
			
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword><![CDATA[Doctor Who]]></ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword>TV</ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[Doctor Who]]></ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[Doctor Who]]></ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name><![CDATA[Doctor Who]]></ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name><![CDATA[Doctor Who]]></ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name>
			 
			 
			 
			 <guid><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/doctor-who-season-7-episode-12/]]></guid>
			 <category><![CDATA[TV]]></category>
			 <title type="html"><![CDATA['Doctor Who' season finale recap: An Open Wound]]></title>
			 
			 <description type="html"><![CDATA[Just one question for you, Doctor: What is your name?]]></description>
			 <link><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/doctor-who-season-7-episode-12/]]></link>
			 <pubDate><![CDATA[Sat, 18 May 2013 21:01:41 -0400 ]]></pubDate>
			 <author><![CDATA[Adam Carlson]]></author>			 
			 <ti.ew:excerpt type="html"><![CDATA[It was always going to be a weird season of Doctor Who. Longtime companions were leaving and a new companion was coming in. Showrunner Steven Moffat had turned seasons 5 and 6 of Who into interlocking mythologies, with episodes doubling as puzzle pieces. The bigger picture kept changing, but not Moffat's plan to piece them all together. He erased time, gave the Doctor a wife, and gave the TARDIS a body. If you believe that Moffat's run on the show is maybe the best it's had, as I do, season 7 was always a tall order. Having gone most anywhere, where would he ......]]></ti.ew:excerpt>
			 <ti.ew:copyright type="html"><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></ti.ew:copyright>
			 <ti.ew:series><![CDATA[Doctor Who]]></ti.ew:series>
			 <tvSeries><![CDATA[Doctor Who]]></tvSeries>
			 
			 <utcDate><![CDATA[1368910901]]></utcDate>
			 <postID><![CDATA[33354]]></postID>
			 
			 <ti.ew:airdate>Sat, 18 May 2013 00:00:00 +0000</ti.ew:airdate>
			 <ti.ew:airdate-formatted>May 18</ti.ew:airdate-formatted>
			 <ti.ew:content-type>Recap</ti.ew:content-type>
			 <ti.ew:channel>TV</ti.ew:channel>
			 <ti.ew:community-section-name>TV Watch</ti.ew:community-section-name>
			 <ti.ew:eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:eyebrow>			
			 <ti.ew:network><![CDATA[BBC America]]></ti.ew:network>
			 <tvNetwork><![CDATA[BBC America]]></tvNetwork>
			
			 <ti.ew:communityCommentsID>tvr_33354</ti.ew:communityCommentsID>
			 <ti.ew:community-resource-id>tvr_33354</ti.ew:community-resource-id>			
			 <commentBoardId>tvr_33354</commentBoardId>
			 
			 <viewerLink></viewerLink>
			
			 <ti.ew:hilite><![CDATA[Sat, May 18 | BBC America]]></ti.ew:hilite>
			 
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			 <ti.ew:image-credit><![CDATA[BBC America]]></ti.ew:image-credit>
			 
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-credit>BBC America</ti.ew:image-seo-credit>
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-caption>FIELDS OF TRENZALORE The long-whispered resting place of the Doctor is the centerpiece for the seventh season finale, which causes all manner of criss-crossing timestream chaos.</ti.ew:image-seo-caption>
			 
			 <ti.ew:media>TV</ti.ew:media>
			 
			 <ti.ew:starship>NO</ti.ew:starship>
			 <ti.ew:grade>--</ti.ew:grade>
			 
			 <ti.ew:genre>Scifi</ti.ew:genre>
			 <ti.ew:episode>Episode 12</ti.ew:episode>
			 <ti.ew:season>Season 7</ti.ew:season>			
			 
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			  <media:credit role="photographer"><![CDATA[BBC America]]></media:credit>
			  <media:copyright><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></media:copyright>
			  <media:caption type="html"><![CDATA[<p><strong>FIELDS OF TRENZALORE </strong>The long-whispered resting place of the Doctor is the centerpiece for the seventh season finale, which causes all manner of criss-crossing timestream chaos.</p>]]></media:caption>
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			 <ti.ew:blog>TV Recaps</ti.ew:blog>
			 <ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>
			 <ti.ew:headline><![CDATA['American Idol' season finale recap: All Cried Out]]></ti.ew:headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-headline><![CDATA['American Idol' season finale recap: All Cried Out]]></ti.ew:seo-headline>
			 <ti.ew:headline-sort><![CDATA[American Idol' season finale recap: All Cried Out]]></ti.ew:headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:headline-a>A</ti.ew:headline-a>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline><![CDATA['American Idol' season finale recap: All Cried Out]]></ti.ew:tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-headline><![CDATA['American Idol' season finale recap: All Cried Out]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-sort><![CDATA[American Idol season finale recap: All Cried Out]]></ti.ew:tout-headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-a>A</ti.ew:tout-headline-a>
			 
			 <ti.ew:deck><![CDATA[Candice and Kree wait it out in a finale featuring Jennifer Hudson, Adam Lambert, Fireworks Mariah, Satellite Aretha, and more]]></ti.ew:deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-deck><![CDATA[Candice and Kree wait it out in a finale featuring Jennifer Hudson, Adam Lambert, Fireworks Mariah, Satellite Aretha, and more]]></ti.ew:seo-deck>
			 <ti.ew:tout-deck><![CDATA[Candice and Kree wait it out in a finale featuring Jennifer Hudson, Adam Lambert, Fireworks Mariah, Satellite Aretha, and more]]></ti.ew:tout-deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-deck><![CDATA[Candice and Kree wait it out in a finale featuring Jennifer Hudson, Adam Lambert, Fireworks Mariah, Satellite Aretha, and more]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-deck>			 
			 
			 <ti.ew:story><![CDATA[After a finale bursting at the seams with celebrity-contestant duets (Jennifer Hudson and Candice! Adam Lambert/Jessie J and Angie! Keith Urban and Kree!) and soul-searching questions (<em>Is Randy Jackson really a dog? Is Satellite Aretha the new Hologram Tupac?</em>), we have an official leading lady! <em>American Idol'</em>s 2013 winner is...

<strong>CANDICE GLOVER!</strong>

Kree Harrison is the runner-up. No surprises here; most of us (except Candice herself, <a href="http://insidetv.ew.com/2013/05/17/american-idol-winner-backstage-interview/" target="_blank">she told EW</a>) figured Candice would take it. She was the best! Kree, too, was good. It wasn't a very suspenseful finale, but OF COURSE I choked up at the end anyway. The <a href="http://bit.ly/14lI7QL" target="_blank">oppressive woes of season 12</a> mattered not at all for a few joyful minutes as soon as Candice realized Ryan was indeed saying her name. So many tears! Such <em>lengthy</em> confetti! I swear they supersized it since <a href="http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/american-idol-phillip-phillips-winner-season-11/" target="_blank">Phil Phil's bleary-eyed victory</a>.

Well done, Candice and Kree!

<strong>Update:</strong> Candice's debut album, <em>Music Speaks</em> (featuring the single "I Am Beautiful"), will be released July 16 and is being rushed for pre-orders at <a href="http://www.candiceglover-official.com" target="_blank">candiceglover-official.com</a>.

It's all over. Chief takeaways: I am beautiful, and all cried out. Without further ado....

<strong>My Top 12 Moments of the Season 12 Finale</strong>

12. The thrilling prospect of Ryan Seacrest accidentally low-fiving one of the backup dancers (dressed in evil, shady black) instead of the Top 10 (dressed in heavenly, ghostly white) after that rousing opening group number, "Glad You Came To Lip-Sync."

11. Potential Spoiler No. 1: And the winner...is...

<a href="http://ewtvrecaps.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/screen-shot-2013-05-16-at-7-28-24-pm.png"><img alt="Screen Shot 2013-05-16 at 7.28.24 PM" src="http://ewtvrecaps.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/screen-shot-2013-05-16-at-7-28-24-pm.png?w=300" width="300" height="246" /></a>

<strong>Mariah Carey</strong>, in a pre-taped medley that made it look like she too was lip-syncing!

The only cool part of this: boob feathers. Worst performance by a wedding cake topper I've ever seen.

10. Someone's dad was SUPER excited to hear the results.

<a href="http://ewtvrecaps.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/screen-shot-2013-05-16-at-7-00-33-pm.png"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-33310" alt="Screen Shot 2013-05-16 at 7.00.33 PM" src="http://ewtvrecaps.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/screen-shot-2013-05-16-at-7-00-33-pm.png?w=300" width="300" height="237" /></a>

Love ya, Taylor. #dadjokes

<strong>NEXT: Why, Psy?</strong> 9. Randy Jackson proudly displaying perhaps his LOUDEST JACKET YET behind the judges' table...for the last time. Speaking of loud jackets, was anyone else desperately wishing <strong>Psy</strong>'s way-too-small blue sateen jacket would just pop open? Not because it would be sexy, but because it would be embarrassing?

<a href="http://ewtvrecaps.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/screen-shot-2013-05-16-at-7-27-55-pm.png"><img alt="Screen Shot 2013-05-16 at 7.27.55 PM" src="http://ewtvrecaps.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/screen-shot-2013-05-16-at-7-27-55-pm.png?w=300" width="270" height="198" /></a>

Yeah. I sort of hate that I'm still endlessly amused by Psy. He's like the living embodiment of how dumb I feel while attempting to dance, and I love him for that.

8. My initial suspicion that guest performer <strong>Frankie Valli</strong> was Christopher Walken doing a spoof of a legend performing on the <em>American Idol</em> finale. And it would have made sense, too. Did they just Auto-Tune Frankie Valli? Seriously? And did the audience wranglers instruct the Swaybots in the front row to flutter their fingers for Frankie Valli, or did they just do that naturally? And finally, is it possible that the five backup dancers demonstrating how to "Walk Like a Man" actually better singers than the Top 5 Guys? I'm stumped.

7. Potential Spoiler No. 2 -- when <strong>Aretha Franklin</strong> began her (taped?) segment from space: "So Candice, tonight you're a winner..." and the more-absurd-with-every-second Top 5 girls singalong that awkwardly ensued.

6. Sabotage! That filler segment about how the girls REALLY took down the season 12 guys was pretty cute. My fave prank: Janelle doctoring Lazaro's sheet music with a Sharpie and the editors' blatant acknowledgement of how absolutely terrible that performance was.

<strong>NEXT: <em>The Angie Miller Variety Show</em></strong> 5. Though catching up to the dreaded LIVE TV during <strong>J. Lo</strong>'s performance was somewhat horrifying, I was momentarily enthralled that she might be about to execute a Rings routine. But nope -- just a very well-choreographed ode to gladiator platform heels and frilly dresses that would look only slightly less ridiculous on a 12-year-old. Featuring Pitbull.

4. <strong>Kree</strong> seemed to be having a ball as the filling in a Keith Urban-Randy Jackson sandwich on Keith's "Where the Blacktop Ends." And she got some fireworks, too! So much smoke! But despite her letting loose, I could not stop focusing on Keith's dreamy t-shirt.

<a href="http://ewtvrecaps.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/screen-shot-2013-05-16-at-7-26-39-pm.png"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-33311" alt="Screen Shot 2013-05-16 at 7.26.39 PM" src="http://ewtvrecaps.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/screen-shot-2013-05-16-at-7-26-39-pm.png?w=300" width="270" height="216" /></a>

He makes me never want to wash my hair again. (I'm sure he washes his all the time, and I never want to wash my hair in general because ugh, the dry-time -- but still.)

3. <strong>Janelle Arthur</strong> head-banging with The Band Perry.

<a href="http://ewtvrecaps.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/screen-shot-2013-05-16-at-7-29-12-pm.png"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-33316" alt="Screen Shot 2013-05-16 at 7.29.12 PM" src="http://ewtvrecaps.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/screen-shot-2013-05-16-at-7-29-12-pm.png?w=300" width="271" height="208" /></a>

She looked and sounded as if she was really part of the group. Go Janelle!

2. The producers pulled out all the stops for third-place finisher <strong>Angie Miller</strong>, who got to sing with Adam Lambert and her own idol, Jessie J. I loved the dramatic surprise reveal of Adam at the end of the piano (*SCREAMS!*) and he was such a generous partner, letting her shine on "Titanium." The Jessie J and Angie combo was pure joy -- these two were like the more energetic, boppy version of Candice/Kree. Angie will go perform her single (which is available for download!) with Jessie J in the UK this summer. It's all happening for Angie!

<strong>NEXT: Candy meets her match in J-Hud</strong> 1. <strong>Candice and Jennifer Hudson</strong>'s "Inseparable" duet. Neither held back, and why should they have? Pure vocal powahhhhhhh! I loved how the judges were so overwhelmed they had to "air the place out" with sweeping hand gestures.

<a href="http://ewtvrecaps.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/screen-shot-2013-05-16-at-7-27-15-pm.png"><img alt="Screen Shot 2013-05-16 at 7.27.15 PM" src="http://ewtvrecaps.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/screen-shot-2013-05-16-at-7-27-15-pm.png?w=300" width="269" height="178" /></a>

"KEEP SINGING!" --the <em>Idol</em> audience (and Ursula the Sea Witch)

<strong>Honorable Mention:</strong> Devin Velez as Nicki Minaj

<a href="http://ewtvrecaps.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/screen-shot-2013-05-16-at-6-29-14-pm.png"><img alt="Screen Shot 2013-05-16 at 6.29.14 PM" src="http://ewtvrecaps.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/screen-shot-2013-05-16-at-6-29-14-pm.png?w=300" width="269" height="233" /></a>

Nailed it!

<strong>That Was Way Harsh, Tai</strong> bottom-dweller: You may have noticed I left Amber Holcomb and Emeli Sandé's duet of "Next to Me" off the list. I know she was bummed she didn't get Angie's star treatment during the finale, but seriously, searching for any sign of Amber giving a s--- in that duet was as useless as searching for meaning in a Randy Jackson critique.

That's about it for the finale. Did you make it? Are you <em>Clueless</em> as to how? Discuss!

And THANK YOU for reading. You are all heroes and it's you who should've gotten those free Fords.

<em>Never forget...</em>



<em>Source: <a href="https://vine.co/v/bEerVDW7vEW" target="_blank">Vine</a></em>

<a href="http://insidetv.ew.com/2013/05/17/american-idol-winner-backstage-interview/" target="_blank">Candice after the show: 'A lot of dreams came true for me tonight'</a>

<strong>RELATED:
<a href="http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20312226_20700604,00.html" target="_blank">Where does 'Kree vs. Candice' fall among the best 'Idol' finale matchups ever?</a></strong>

<a class="twitter-follow-button" href="https://twitter.com/EWAnnieBarrett">Follow @EWAnnieBarrett</a>

<strong>Read more:</strong><strong></strong><a href="http://bit.ly/YzhByR" target="_blank"><strong>
</strong></a><a href="http://bit.ly/YzhByR" target="_blank">Randy Jackson's top 10 'American Idol' legacies</a><strong>
</strong><a href="http://bit.ly/14lI7QL" target="_blank">'American Idol': Are the judges to blame for decline?</a><strong>
</strong><a href="http://insidetv.ew.com/2013/05/09/american-idol-top-three-performances-backstage/" target="_blank">Top 3 night: How the ladies REALLY felt about song choices<strong></strong><strong></strong></a><a href="http://bit.ly/14lI7QL" target="_blank"><strong>
</strong></a><a href="http://bit.ly/Va5C67" target="_blank">All 'American Idol' recaps on EW.com</a>
<a href="http://bit.ly/Rer0rM" target="_blank">Mariah Carey gets the Nicki Minaj phone call: An 'Up Out My Face' dramatization</a>]]></ti.ew:story>
			 <ti.ew:seo-story><![CDATA[After a finale bursting at the seams with celebrity-contestant duets (Jennifer Hudson and Candice! Adam Lambert/Jessie J and Angie! Keith Urban and Kree!) and soul-searching questions (Is Randy Jackson really a dog? Is Satellite Aretha the new Hologram Tupac?), we have an official leading lady! American Idol's 2013 winner is...

CANDICE GLOVER!

Kree Harrison is the runner-up. No surprises here; most of us (except Candice herself, she told EW) figured Candice would take it. She was the best! Kree, too, was good. It wasn't a very suspenseful finale, but OF COURSE I choked up at the end anyway. The oppressive woes of season 12 mattered not at all for a few joyful minutes as soon as Candice realized Ryan was indeed saying her name. So many tears! Such lengthy confetti! I swear they supersized it since Phil Phil's bleary-eyed victory.

Well done, Candice and Kree!

Update: Candice's debut album, Music Speaks (featuring the single "I Am Beautiful"), will be released July 16 and is being rushed for pre-orders at candiceglover-official.com.

It's all over. Chief takeaways: I am beautiful, and all cried out. Without further ado....

My Top 12 Moments of the Season 12 Finale

12. The thrilling prospect of Ryan Seacrest accidentally low-fiving one of the backup dancers (dressed in evil, shady black) instead of the Top 10 (dressed in heavenly, ghostly white) after that rousing opening group number, "Glad You Came To Lip-Sync."

11. Potential Spoiler No. 1: And the winner...is...



Mariah Carey, in a pre-taped medley that made it look like she too was lip-syncing!

The only cool part of this: boob feathers. Worst performance by a wedding cake topper I've ever seen.

10. Someone's dad was SUPER excited to hear the results.



Love ya, Taylor. #dadjokes

NEXT: Why, Psy? 9. Randy Jackson proudly displaying perhaps his LOUDEST JACKET YET behind the judges' table...for the last time. Speaking of loud jackets, was anyone else desperately wishing Psy's way-too-small blue sateen jacket would just pop open? Not because it would be sexy, but because it would be embarrassing?



Yeah. I sort of hate that I'm still endlessly amused by Psy. He's like the living embodiment of how dumb I feel while attempting to dance, and I love him for that.

8. My initial suspicion that guest performer Frankie Valli was Christopher Walken doing a spoof of a legend performing on the American Idol finale. And it would have made sense, too. Did they just Auto-Tune Frankie Valli? Seriously? And did the audience wranglers instruct the Swaybots in the front row to flutter their fingers for Frankie Valli, or did they just do that naturally? And finally, is it possible that the five backup dancers demonstrating how to "Walk Like a Man" actually better singers than the Top 5 Guys? I'm stumped.

7. Potential Spoiler No. 2 -- when Aretha Franklin began her (taped?) segment from space: "So Candice, tonight you're a winner..." and the more-absurd-with-every-second Top 5 girls singalong that awkwardly ensued.

6. Sabotage! That filler segment about how the girls REALLY took down the season 12 guys was pretty cute. My fave prank: Janelle doctoring Lazaro's sheet music with a Sharpie and the editors' blatant acknowledgement of how absolutely terrible that performance was.

NEXT: The Angie Miller Variety Show 5. Though catching up to the dreaded LIVE TV during J. Lo's performance was somewhat horrifying, I was momentarily enthralled that she might be about to execute a Rings routine. But nope -- just a very well-choreographed ode to gladiator platform heels and frilly dresses that would look only slightly less ridiculous on a 12-year-old. Featuring Pitbull.

4. Kree seemed to be having a ball as the filling in a Keith Urban-Randy Jackson sandwich on Keith's "Where the Blacktop Ends." And she got some fireworks, too! So much smoke! But despite her letting loose, I could not stop focusing on Keith's dreamy t-shirt.



He makes me never want to wash my hair again. (I'm sure he washes his all the time, and I never want to wash my hair in general because ugh, the dry-time -- but still.)

3. Janelle Arthur head-banging with The Band Perry.



She looked and sounded as if she was really part of the group. Go Janelle!

2. The producers pulled out all the stops for third-place finisher Angie Miller, who got to sing with Adam Lambert and her own idol, Jessie J. I loved the dramatic surprise reveal of Adam at the end of the piano (*SCREAMS!*) and he was such a generous partner, letting her shine on "Titanium." The Jessie J and Angie combo was pure joy -- these two were like the more energetic, boppy version of Candice/Kree. Angie will go perform her single (which is available for download!) with Jessie J in the UK this summer. It's all happening for Angie!

NEXT: Candy meets her match in J-Hud 1. Candice and Jennifer Hudson's "Inseparable" duet. Neither held back, and why should they have? Pure vocal powahhhhhhh! I loved how the judges were so overwhelmed they had to "air the place out" with sweeping hand gestures.



"KEEP SINGING!" --the Idol audience (and Ursula the Sea Witch)

Honorable Mention: Devin Velez as Nicki Minaj



Nailed it!

That Was Way Harsh, Tai bottom-dweller: You may have noticed I left Amber Holcomb and Emeli Sandé's duet of "Next to Me" off the list. I know she was bummed she didn't get Angie's star treatment during the finale, but seriously, searching for any sign of Amber giving a s--- in that duet was as useless as searching for meaning in a Randy Jackson critique.

That's about it for the finale. Did you make it? Are you Clueless as to how? Discuss!

And THANK YOU for reading. You are all heroes and it's you who should've gotten those free Fords.

Never forget...



Source: Vine

Candice after the show: 'A lot of dreams came true for me tonight'

RELATED:
Where does 'Kree vs. Candice' fall among the best 'Idol' finale matchups ever?

Follow @EWAnnieBarrett

Read more:
Randy Jackson's top 10 'American Idol' legacies
'American Idol': Are the judges to blame for decline?
Top 3 night: How the ladies REALLY felt about song choices
All 'American Idol' recaps on EW.com
Mariah Carey gets the Nicki Minaj phone call: An 'Up Out My Face' dramatization]]></ti.ew:seo-story>
			 
			 <ti.ew:episode-type>Regular Episode</ti.ew:episode-type>
			
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword><![CDATA[American Idol]]></ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword>TV</ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[American Idol]]></ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[American Idol]]></ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name><![CDATA[American Idol]]></ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name><![CDATA[American Idol]]></ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name>
			 
			 
			 
			 <guid><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/american-idol-2013-winner-candice-glover-season-12-finale/]]></guid>
			 <category><![CDATA[TV]]></category>
			 <title type="html"><![CDATA['American Idol' season finale recap: All Cried Out]]></title>
			 
			 <description type="html"><![CDATA[Candice and Kree wait it out in a finale featuring Jennifer Hudson, Adam Lambert, Fireworks Mariah, Satellite Aretha, and more]]></description>
			 <link><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/american-idol-2013-winner-candice-glover-season-12-finale/]]></link>
			 <pubDate><![CDATA[Fri, 17 May 2013 06:00:23 -0400 ]]></pubDate>
			 <author><![CDATA[Annie Barrett]]></author>			 
			 <ti.ew:excerpt type="html"><![CDATA[After a finale bursting at the seams with celebrity-contestant duets (Jennifer Hudson and Candice! Adam Lambert/Jessie J and Angie! Keith Urban and Kree!) and soul-searching questions (Is Randy Jackson really a dog? Is Satellite Aretha the new Hologram Tupac?), we have an official leading lady! American Idol's 2013 winner is...

CANDICE GLOVER!

Kree Harrison is the runner-up. No surprises here; most of us (except Candice herself, she told EW) figured Candice would take it. She was the best! Kree, too, was good. It wasn't a very suspenseful finale, but OF COURSE I choked up at the end anyway. The oppressive woes of ......]]></ti.ew:excerpt>
			 <ti.ew:copyright type="html"><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></ti.ew:copyright>
			 <ti.ew:series><![CDATA[American Idol]]></ti.ew:series>
			 <tvSeries><![CDATA[American Idol]]></tvSeries>
			 
			 <utcDate><![CDATA[1368770423]]></utcDate>
			 <postID><![CDATA[33283]]></postID>
			 
			 <ti.ew:airdate>Thu, 16 May 2013 00:00:00 +0000</ti.ew:airdate>
			 <ti.ew:airdate-formatted>May 16</ti.ew:airdate-formatted>
			 <ti.ew:content-type>Recap</ti.ew:content-type>
			 <ti.ew:channel>TV</ti.ew:channel>
			 <ti.ew:community-section-name>TV Watch</ti.ew:community-section-name>
			 <ti.ew:eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:eyebrow>			
			 <ti.ew:network><![CDATA[Fox]]></ti.ew:network>
			 <tvNetwork><![CDATA[Fox]]></tvNetwork>
			
			 <ti.ew:communityCommentsID>tvr_33283</ti.ew:communityCommentsID>
			 <ti.ew:community-resource-id>tvr_33283</ti.ew:community-resource-id>			
			 <commentBoardId>tvr_33283</commentBoardId>
			 
			 <viewerLink></viewerLink>
			
			 <ti.ew:hilite><![CDATA[Thu, May 16 | Fox]]></ti.ew:hilite>
			 
			 <ti.ew:thumbnail.small url="" width="75" height="75"></ti.ew:thumbnail.small>
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			 <ti.ew:thumbnail.320x240 url="http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2013/05/16/Idol-Finale-Candice-Kree_320x240.jpg" width="320" height="240"></ti.ew:thumbnail.320x240>
			 <ti.ew:thumbnail.380x380 url="http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2013/05/16/Idol-Finale-Candice-Kree_380x380.jpg" width="380" height="380"></ti.ew:thumbnail.380x380>
			 <ti.ew:thumbnail.612x380 url="http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2013/05/16/Idol-Finale-Candice-Kree_612x380.jpg" width="612" height="380"></ti.ew:thumbnail.612x380>
			 
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			 <thumbnail100x100>http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2013/05/16/Idol-Finale-Candice-Kree_100x100.jpg</thumbnail100x100>
			 <thumbnail175x175></thumbnail175x175>
			 <thumbnail196x134>http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2013/05/16/Idol-Finale-Candice-Kree_196x134.jpg</thumbnail196x134>
			 <thumbnail196x357></thumbnail196x357>
			 <thumbnail320x240>http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2013/05/16/Idol-Finale-Candice-Kree_320x240.jpg</thumbnail320x240>
			 <thumbnail380x380>http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2013/05/16/Idol-Finale-Candice-Kree_380x380.jpg</thumbnail380x380>
			 <thumbnail612x380>http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2013/05/16/Idol-Finale-Candice-Kree_612x380.jpg</thumbnail612x380>
			 
			 <ti.ew:image-credit><![CDATA[Fox]]></ti.ew:image-credit>
			 
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-credit>Fox</ti.ew:image-seo-credit>
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-caption>THIS HUG IS BEAUTIFUL Candice and Kree snuggle up.</ti.ew:image-seo-caption>
			 
			 <ti.ew:media>TV</ti.ew:media>
			 
			 <ti.ew:starship>NO</ti.ew:starship>
			 <ti.ew:grade>--</ti.ew:grade>
			 
			 <ti.ew:genre>Reality TV</ti.ew:genre>
			 <ti.ew:episode>Episode 37</ti.ew:episode>
			 <ti.ew:season>Season 12</ti.ew:season>			
			 
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			  <media:copyright><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></media:copyright>
			  <media:caption type="html"><![CDATA[<p><strong>THIS HUG IS BEAUTIFUL</strong> Candice and Kree snuggle up.</p>]]></media:caption>
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			 <ti.ew:blog>TV Recaps</ti.ew:blog>
			 <ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>
			 <ti.ew:headline><![CDATA['Scandal' season finale recap: The Scarlet &#039;O&#039;]]></ti.ew:headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-headline><![CDATA['Scandal' season finale recap: The Scarlet &#039;O&#039;]]></ti.ew:seo-headline>
			 <ti.ew:headline-sort><![CDATA[Scandal' season finale recap: The Scarlet &#039;O&#039;]]></ti.ew:headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:headline-a>S</ti.ew:headline-a>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline><![CDATA['Scandal' season finale recap: The Scarlet &#039;O&#039;]]></ti.ew:tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-headline><![CDATA['Scandal' season finale recap: The Scarlet &#039;O&#039;]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-sort><![CDATA[Scandal season finale recap: The Scarlet &#039;O&#039;]]></ti.ew:tout-headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-a>S</ti.ew:tout-headline-a>
			 
			 <ti.ew:deck><![CDATA[Olivia is visited by a figure from her past; David Rosen makes a choice that changes history]]></ti.ew:deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-deck><![CDATA[Olivia is visited by a figure from her past; David Rosen makes a choice that changes history]]></ti.ew:seo-deck>
			 <ti.ew:tout-deck><![CDATA[Olivia is visited by a figure from her past; David Rosen makes a choice that changes history]]></ti.ew:tout-deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-deck><![CDATA[Olivia is visited by a figure from her past; David Rosen makes a choice that changes history]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-deck>			 
			 
			 <ti.ew:story><![CDATA[ROWAN IS OLIVIA POPE'S DAD?! And you all were on to it from the beginning!

<em>Scandal</em>ites, the white hat may be back on, but the game has changed, and no one came out of this finale unaltered. Was there ever any doubt that this episode wouldn't deliver? It was at turns tense, scary, off-the-wall nuts, funny, and sentimental. Shonda, we are but your humble servants sitting here waiting with bated breath for what your crazy, brilliant brain cooks up next for <em>Scandal</em>.

<em>Scandal</em> Season 2 has chronicled everyone's fall from grace. Well, every character who presumably <em>could</em> have a fall from grace (sorry, Charlie). The finale's title calls back to this season's premiere, "White Hat's Off," when Olivia had to betray the law and her moral code to help protect Quinn. And throughout the season we've gone deeper and deeper into the original sin of <em>Scandal</em> -- Defiance. Tonight's episode was all about who could still be saved, and who is lost forever. And in some ways it all comes down to Olivia. She holds the key to everyone's salvation and must selflessly give herself over to The Greater Good so that everyone else can be saved. She's a martyr, choosing her Gladiators over her love. It's tempting to say that Olivia chose the Gladiators over her <em>happiness</em>, but that doesn't sound particularly true. She had two paths, and the fact that she didn't choose the man this time doesn't mean that she's put happiness aside. But her choice is the safer, more controlled path.

So, though it's bittersweet to begin the final recap of Season 2, let's dig in.

Last week we left our Gladiators after they'd just discovered that Billy Chambers was the mole. We pick up with them in what seems like the same moment. They're still reeling from the revelation and trying to piece things together. Quinn reminded us that she hasn't forgotten that he stabbed her intrepid reporter boyfriend in the neck with a pair of scissors. And Huck reminded Olivia that he hired out to have Billy taken care of. But clearly Charlie didn't go through with it. In a flashback we find out that Billy promised access to the VP's passwords and secrets and basically used everything in his arsenal to have his life spared. ("I know where a hell of a lot of bodies are buried.") There are a lot of last-minute "saves" by these clandestine mercenaries. I hope people wait to pay after they have proof of death, as gross as I feel for saying that. Of course Huck reappropriates a folksy cliché for this kind of moment: "It's true what they say. If you want someone killed right, you've got to kill them yourself."

So, it's code red. The remaining members of Defiance (may Verna rest in peace) all gather for a pow-wow in the White House kitchen to figure out WTF they're going to do about this missing Cytron card. It's less of a discussion and more of a shouting match while they wait for...someone.  Turns out, it's motherf---ing President Fitzgerald Grant. He is in so deep.

<strong>NEXT: It's Cyrus's turn to go to the hospital...</strong>



Mellie is understandably at her wit's end, and Cyrus tries to reassure her that Fitz will choose her in the end, not Olivia. But while this is happening, Olivia and Fitz are discussing their future together in pretty concrete terms. Apparently Fitz wants to marry Olivia immediately and get her into the White House, and he charges her with coming up with a plan. This of course is coming from the man who last week said he wanted to keep her out of it...but I guess things have changed since he decided to run again? Also, nice superpower, President Grant. Once again, this show earns its 10 p.m. spot.

Rowan asks Jake to bring Olivia in for a conversation, while that girl from the pastry store sting operation last week looks on. Jake wants to know his intentions before blindly accepting, and he's warned that this is a job and if he declines, Rowan will know where they stand. Good thing Jake is sitting on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial gazing out over the reflecting pool. He's got some thinking to do.

Olivia and the Gladiators try to figure out what Billy's next move is, figuring he can't out-Defiance himself. He'd need a respectable proxy. All signs point to Samuel Reston, the Governor of Maryland who "lost" the Presidency to Fitz to 4,359 votes. He's the original man scorned by the election rigging and we already know that he's essentially lost his soul (he killed that contractor and let his wife take the blame for it). He'd be perfect. But even though Olivia is sure that they're all already working together, her Gladiators doubt her. They want proof. "You've been wrong before," they remind her. They are right, but it's not necessarily like them to question their boss with such fervor.

In a moment that will come back to haunt him later, Huck pulls Olivia aside to tell her that he's worried about her and Quinn...but mainly Quinn (aka "Baby Huck"). She's getting too good at this kind of work. But Olivia's too distracted with her own stuff to really give it much attention.

Cyrus, meanwhile, is having a tough go of it. He's been trying to keep everything together for so long that it's been visibly wearing on him. He runs from crisis to crisis and seems less concerned lately about saving his shouts. <em>Everything</em> is a shouting matter now. After a stressful meeting with Rowan, Olivia clues him in about Reston. Too bad the President is already in the middle of a meeting with the Governor where he's telling Fitz he knows about Defiance. He says he wants a place on Fitz's re-election ticket. Fitz denies everything. While all this is happening, Cyrus, running to stop this dangerous meeting, grasps his arm and falls to the ground. He has a damn heart attack. DON'T DIE, CYRUS!

<strong>NEXT: Guess who has the Cytron card now...</strong>



Of course Cyrus stays on the phone to try to manage the Reston crisis in the ambulance. Loved Fitz and Olivia shouting "Cyrus" when they realize what's happening and Cyrus trying to get the medics to shoot the one who took away his phone. Anyway, in the hospital, he and James get to have a sweet moment. Nothing like a death scare to make you forget about that horrible, horrible fight. Maybe these two will be okay after all. But what was that hospital visit from Rowan? Real? An apparition?

Meanwhile, nothing is happening with the Cytron card yet because David Rosen still has it. Apparently him showing up in Billy's car last week wasn't the end. He still recognizes that he has a choice in the matter and goes to far as to refer to Olivia and the Gladiators as his friends. Billy does his best to convince him otherwise, and David slides the Cytron card across the table. Also, apparently Billy killed Osboune (?!), Wendy, and Molly! Does that mean Jake was working with Billy?

Mellie, fresh off some news that her public approval rating is down (because she "aired her dirty laundry on live television"), comes to "visit" Cyrus in the hospital, but really just wants a public moment with Fitz. He's having none of it though, and tells her the elaborate plan to seamlessly weave Olivia into his life without seeming tawdry. It'll involve him dating age-appropriate women for a while and then "reconnecting" with one of his oldest and most trusted friends and falling in love with her. As with many things on <em>Scandal</em>, they could just as easily be talking about a couple of movie stars.

And in one of the scarier moments of the season, Olivia sees her doorknob start to jiggle urgently and then feels a hand come over her mouth. It's Jake! As the fake pastry store/B6-13 woman bursts through the door, gun locked and loaded (I don't know how guns work), Jake shoots her in the head. He takes Olivia back to her office and leaves. He offers one piece of advice: As long as she's in a relationship with POTUS, she's going to be in danger. He also tells her that he's B6-13 which she repeats as though she's heard it before. Jake does that whole "go away, leave, sleeping with you was my mission, I'm not a good guy" thing, but Olivia's not buying it and gives him a kiss goodbye. Jake has risked everything for her, and Olivia at least seems to realize that he's probably a goner. As Harrison says: "Ish just got real."

When Olivia tells Cyrus about the attempt on her life, she says "I know who it was and I know why and I don't care. Fitz and I are going to be together." I assume this means that as soon as Jake said B6-13, she knew her father was involved somehow. Is this for real? Could she know this? What was her childhood like! Anyway, Cyrus tells Olivia and Fitz (separately) that they're both acting like teenagers. He tells her that Fitz killed Verna. And he shows Fitz the tape of her and Jake. Rowan should give Cyrus a gold star.

<strong>NEXT: Baby Huck is cutting her teeth and it's messy...</strong>



Huck and Quinn are waiting for Billy back at his beautiful apartment. When he enters and sees them sitting at his table, he tries to run. It's his <a href="http://movieclips.com/kgsa-the-princess-bride-movie-my-name-is-inigo-montoya/41.7/67.83" target="_blank">Count Rugen moment</a>. Silly boy. You can't run from Huck. The only thing that can stop Huck is...Huck. And in the middle of torturing, Huck starts to break down. So...Quinn takes over and drills a goddamn hole into Billy as blood splatters on her face and she screams at him to tell her where the Cytron card is. It is bats--t crazy. Quinn started out as such an innocent and we were happy to see her learning a trade with Huck. But is she turning evil? Or is this a Huck situation where she'll be able to compartmentalize? She REALLY seemed to enjoy using that drill and Huck is clearly guilt-ridden about the monster he's created. FrankenQuinn?

Of course the Gladiators don't yet know about David Rosen. But Abby does some math and figures out that whoever broke into the safe would have needed days to do so (20,736 is a lot of combinations to try). And he's the only one it could be. But David chooses to do the "right" thing. He gave Billy a blank card and used the real evidence to bargain with Cyrus for a job -- the DC District Attorney. David was saved and has been returned to his seat of power and prestige. Now he can quit that high school and get his grownup apartment back. And he left Olivia a recording so that she knew all about Billy's involvement (and his own loyalty).

So what's left? Olivia and Fitz still have to deal with their revelations about each other...namely, the murder. For some reason that's not a deal breaker, but she sees it as her mission to save Fitz, admitting that she took her people too far and that <em>he</em> has the opportunity to "hit the reset button." I don't necessarily understand the logic of Fitz being an easier save, but we'll go with it. She tells him that her gladiators need her. And to think, she probably doesn't even know about FrankenQuinn yet.

And in a jaunty montage we see everyone trying to "reset." Cyrus comedically struggles to break the Cytron card. Fitz uses his superpower on Mellie. David yells at his assistant for coffee. Jake gets tossed into the torture pit (same one that Huck had a breakdown in) by B6-13 thugs and a smiling Rowan hovering over him. And Olivia's gets ready for a run, mind free and happy as ever...that is 'til she opens her apartment door to find a bunch of reporters asking her about her affair with the President. WHO TOLD, GUYS?

Anyway, some dudes push her towards a town car where she sees Rowan, or, as we all already know by now, Dad. She looks surprised and horrified. Cut to black.

"This is not a romance novel. Life is not a romance novel." -Cyrus Beene, MVP of the season, redefining the future of <em>Scandal</em>. Maybe.

And that, <em>Scandal</em>ities, is all we get to know till Season 3. Damn these cliffhangers!

<strong>NEXT: Burning questions...</strong>



A lot of stuff went down tonight, so we have a lot of burning questions to discuss. Did Olivia make the right choice? Is she being a martyr? Some of you saw the Rowan reveal coming, but what about the rest of you? Surprised? Shocked? Does Jake know Rowan is Olivia's father? Does Cyrus know? Why does he want to kill his daughter? And how about David Rosen? He's still sort of obstructing justice, but were you happy to know he's still basically a good guy?

And Jake! Why did Jake save her her? And what will happen to him? And who leaked about the affair?

Talk to us!]]></ti.ew:story>
			 <ti.ew:seo-story><![CDATA[ROWAN IS OLIVIA POPE'S DAD?! And you all were on to it from the beginning!

Scandalites, the white hat may be back on, but the game has changed, and no one came out of this finale unaltered. Was there ever any doubt that this episode wouldn't deliver? It was at turns tense, scary, off-the-wall nuts, funny, and sentimental. Shonda, we are but your humble servants sitting here waiting with bated breath for what your crazy, brilliant brain cooks up next for Scandal.

Scandal Season 2 has chronicled everyone's fall from grace. Well, every character who presumably could have a fall from grace (sorry, Charlie). The finale's title calls back to this season's premiere, "White Hat's Off," when Olivia had to betray the law and her moral code to help protect Quinn. And throughout the season we've gone deeper and deeper into the original sin of Scandal -- Defiance. Tonight's episode was all about who could still be saved, and who is lost forever. And in some ways it all comes down to Olivia. She holds the key to everyone's salvation and must selflessly give herself over to The Greater Good so that everyone else can be saved. She's a martyr, choosing her Gladiators over her love. It's tempting to say that Olivia chose the Gladiators over her happiness, but that doesn't sound particularly true. She had two paths, and the fact that she didn't choose the man this time doesn't mean that she's put happiness aside. But her choice is the safer, more controlled path.

So, though it's bittersweet to begin the final recap of Season 2, let's dig in.

Last week we left our Gladiators after they'd just discovered that Billy Chambers was the mole. We pick up with them in what seems like the same moment. They're still reeling from the revelation and trying to piece things together. Quinn reminded us that she hasn't forgotten that he stabbed her intrepid reporter boyfriend in the neck with a pair of scissors. And Huck reminded Olivia that he hired out to have Billy taken care of. But clearly Charlie didn't go through with it. In a flashback we find out that Billy promised access to the VP's passwords and secrets and basically used everything in his arsenal to have his life spared. ("I know where a hell of a lot of bodies are buried.") There are a lot of last-minute "saves" by these clandestine mercenaries. I hope people wait to pay after they have proof of death, as gross as I feel for saying that. Of course Huck reappropriates a folksy cliché for this kind of moment: "It's true what they say. If you want someone killed right, you've got to kill them yourself."

So, it's code red. The remaining members of Defiance (may Verna rest in peace) all gather for a pow-wow in the White House kitchen to figure out WTF they're going to do about this missing Cytron card. It's less of a discussion and more of a shouting match while they wait for...someone.  Turns out, it's motherf---ing President Fitzgerald Grant. He is in so deep.

NEXT: It's Cyrus's turn to go to the hospital...



Mellie is understandably at her wit's end, and Cyrus tries to reassure her that Fitz will choose her in the end, not Olivia. But while this is happening, Olivia and Fitz are discussing their future together in pretty concrete terms. Apparently Fitz wants to marry Olivia immediately and get her into the White House, and he charges her with coming up with a plan. This of course is coming from the man who last week said he wanted to keep her out of it...but I guess things have changed since he decided to run again? Also, nice superpower, President Grant. Once again, this show earns its 10 p.m. spot.

Rowan asks Jake to bring Olivia in for a conversation, while that girl from the pastry store sting operation last week looks on. Jake wants to know his intentions before blindly accepting, and he's warned that this is a job and if he declines, Rowan will know where they stand. Good thing Jake is sitting on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial gazing out over the reflecting pool. He's got some thinking to do.

Olivia and the Gladiators try to figure out what Billy's next move is, figuring he can't out-Defiance himself. He'd need a respectable proxy. All signs point to Samuel Reston, the Governor of Maryland who "lost" the Presidency to Fitz to 4,359 votes. He's the original man scorned by the election rigging and we already know that he's essentially lost his soul (he killed that contractor and let his wife take the blame for it). He'd be perfect. But even though Olivia is sure that they're all already working together, her Gladiators doubt her. They want proof. "You've been wrong before," they remind her. They are right, but it's not necessarily like them to question their boss with such fervor.

In a moment that will come back to haunt him later, Huck pulls Olivia aside to tell her that he's worried about her and Quinn...but mainly Quinn (aka "Baby Huck"). She's getting too good at this kind of work. But Olivia's too distracted with her own stuff to really give it much attention.

Cyrus, meanwhile, is having a tough go of it. He's been trying to keep everything together for so long that it's been visibly wearing on him. He runs from crisis to crisis and seems less concerned lately about saving his shouts. Everything is a shouting matter now. After a stressful meeting with Rowan, Olivia clues him in about Reston. Too bad the President is already in the middle of a meeting with the Governor where he's telling Fitz he knows about Defiance. He says he wants a place on Fitz's re-election ticket. Fitz denies everything. While all this is happening, Cyrus, running to stop this dangerous meeting, grasps his arm and falls to the ground. He has a damn heart attack. DON'T DIE, CYRUS!

NEXT: Guess who has the Cytron card now...



Of course Cyrus stays on the phone to try to manage the Reston crisis in the ambulance. Loved Fitz and Olivia shouting "Cyrus" when they realize what's happening and Cyrus trying to get the medics to shoot the one who took away his phone. Anyway, in the hospital, he and James get to have a sweet moment. Nothing like a death scare to make you forget about that horrible, horrible fight. Maybe these two will be okay after all. But what was that hospital visit from Rowan? Real? An apparition?

Meanwhile, nothing is happening with the Cytron card yet because David Rosen still has it. Apparently him showing up in Billy's car last week wasn't the end. He still recognizes that he has a choice in the matter and goes to far as to refer to Olivia and the Gladiators as his friends. Billy does his best to convince him otherwise, and David slides the Cytron card across the table. Also, apparently Billy killed Osboune (?!), Wendy, and Molly! Does that mean Jake was working with Billy?

Mellie, fresh off some news that her public approval rating is down (because she "aired her dirty laundry on live television"), comes to "visit" Cyrus in the hospital, but really just wants a public moment with Fitz. He's having none of it though, and tells her the elaborate plan to seamlessly weave Olivia into his life without seeming tawdry. It'll involve him dating age-appropriate women for a while and then "reconnecting" with one of his oldest and most trusted friends and falling in love with her. As with many things on Scandal, they could just as easily be talking about a couple of movie stars.

And in one of the scarier moments of the season, Olivia sees her doorknob start to jiggle urgently and then feels a hand come over her mouth. It's Jake! As the fake pastry store/B6-13 woman bursts through the door, gun locked and loaded (I don't know how guns work), Jake shoots her in the head. He takes Olivia back to her office and leaves. He offers one piece of advice: As long as she's in a relationship with POTUS, she's going to be in danger. He also tells her that he's B6-13 which she repeats as though she's heard it before. Jake does that whole "go away, leave, sleeping with you was my mission, I'm not a good guy" thing, but Olivia's not buying it and gives him a kiss goodbye. Jake has risked everything for her, and Olivia at least seems to realize that he's probably a goner. As Harrison says: "Ish just got real."

When Olivia tells Cyrus about the attempt on her life, she says "I know who it was and I know why and I don't care. Fitz and I are going to be together." I assume this means that as soon as Jake said B6-13, she knew her father was involved somehow. Is this for real? Could she know this? What was her childhood like! Anyway, Cyrus tells Olivia and Fitz (separately) that they're both acting like teenagers. He tells her that Fitz killed Verna. And he shows Fitz the tape of her and Jake. Rowan should give Cyrus a gold star.

NEXT: Baby Huck is cutting her teeth and it's messy...



Huck and Quinn are waiting for Billy back at his beautiful apartment. When he enters and sees them sitting at his table, he tries to run. It's his Count Rugen moment. Silly boy. You can't run from Huck. The only thing that can stop Huck is...Huck. And in the middle of torturing, Huck starts to break down. So...Quinn takes over and drills a goddamn hole into Billy as blood splatters on her face and she screams at him to tell her where the Cytron card is. It is bats--t crazy. Quinn started out as such an innocent and we were happy to see her learning a trade with Huck. But is she turning evil? Or is this a Huck situation where she'll be able to compartmentalize? She REALLY seemed to enjoy using that drill and Huck is clearly guilt-ridden about the monster he's created. FrankenQuinn?

Of course the Gladiators don't yet know about David Rosen. But Abby does some math and figures out that whoever broke into the safe would have needed days to do so (20,736 is a lot of combinations to try). And he's the only one it could be. But David chooses to do the "right" thing. He gave Billy a blank card and used the real evidence to bargain with Cyrus for a job -- the DC District Attorney. David was saved and has been returned to his seat of power and prestige. Now he can quit that high school and get his grownup apartment back. And he left Olivia a recording so that she knew all about Billy's involvement (and his own loyalty).

So what's left? Olivia and Fitz still have to deal with their revelations about each other...namely, the murder. For some reason that's not a deal breaker, but she sees it as her mission to save Fitz, admitting that she took her people too far and that he has the opportunity to "hit the reset button." I don't necessarily understand the logic of Fitz being an easier save, but we'll go with it. She tells him that her gladiators need her. And to think, she probably doesn't even know about FrankenQuinn yet.

And in a jaunty montage we see everyone trying to "reset." Cyrus comedically struggles to break the Cytron card. Fitz uses his superpower on Mellie. David yells at his assistant for coffee. Jake gets tossed into the torture pit (same one that Huck had a breakdown in) by B6-13 thugs and a smiling Rowan hovering over him. And Olivia's gets ready for a run, mind free and happy as ever...that is 'til she opens her apartment door to find a bunch of reporters asking her about her affair with the President. WHO TOLD, GUYS?

Anyway, some dudes push her towards a town car where she sees Rowan, or, as we all already know by now, Dad. She looks surprised and horrified. Cut to black.

"This is not a romance novel. Life is not a romance novel." -Cyrus Beene, MVP of the season, redefining the future of Scandal. Maybe.

And that, Scandalities, is all we get to know till Season 3. Damn these cliffhangers!

NEXT: Burning questions...



A lot of stuff went down tonight, so we have a lot of burning questions to discuss. Did Olivia make the right choice? Is she being a martyr? Some of you saw the Rowan reveal coming, but what about the rest of you? Surprised? Shocked? Does Jake know Rowan is Olivia's father? Does Cyrus know? Why does he want to kill his daughter? And how about David Rosen? He's still sort of obstructing justice, but were you happy to know he's still basically a good guy?

And Jake! Why did Jake save her her? And what will happen to him? And who leaked about the affair?

Talk to us!]]></ti.ew:seo-story>
			 
			 <ti.ew:episode-type>Regular Episode</ti.ew:episode-type>
			
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword><![CDATA[Scandal]]></ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword>TV</ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[Scandal]]></ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[Scandal]]></ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name><![CDATA[Scandal]]></ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name><![CDATA[Scandal]]></ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name>
			 
			 
			 
			 <guid><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/scandal-season-2-finale/]]></guid>
			 <category><![CDATA[TV]]></category>
			 <title type="html"><![CDATA['Scandal' season finale recap: The Scarlet &#039;O&#039;]]></title>
			 
			 <description type="html"><![CDATA[Olivia is visited by a figure from her past; David Rosen makes a choice that changes history]]></description>
			 <link><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/scandal-season-2-finale/]]></link>
			 <pubDate><![CDATA[Fri, 17 May 2013 05:13:12 -0400 ]]></pubDate>
			 <author><![CDATA[Lindsey Bahr]]></author>			 
			 <ti.ew:excerpt type="html"><![CDATA[ROWAN IS OLIVIA POPE'S DAD?! And you all were on to it from the beginning!

Scandalites, the white hat may be back on, but the game has changed, and no one came out of this finale unaltered. Was there ever any doubt that this episode wouldn't deliver? It was at turns tense, scary, off-the-wall nuts, funny, and sentimental. Shonda, we are but your humble servants sitting here waiting with bated breath for what your crazy, brilliant brain cooks up next for Scandal.

Scandal Season 2 has chronicled everyone's fall from grace. Well, every character who presumably could have a fall from grace (sorry, ......]]></ti.ew:excerpt>
			 <ti.ew:copyright type="html"><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></ti.ew:copyright>
			 <ti.ew:series><![CDATA[Scandal]]></ti.ew:series>
			 <tvSeries><![CDATA[Scandal]]></tvSeries>
			 
			 <utcDate><![CDATA[1368767592]]></utcDate>
			 <postID><![CDATA[33299]]></postID>
			 
			 <ti.ew:airdate>Thu, 16 May 2013 00:00:00 +0000</ti.ew:airdate>
			 <ti.ew:airdate-formatted>May 16</ti.ew:airdate-formatted>
			 <ti.ew:content-type>Recap</ti.ew:content-type>
			 <ti.ew:channel>TV</ti.ew:channel>
			 <ti.ew:community-section-name>TV Watch</ti.ew:community-section-name>
			 <ti.ew:eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:eyebrow>			
			 <ti.ew:network><![CDATA[ABC]]></ti.ew:network>
			 <tvNetwork><![CDATA[ABC]]></tvNetwork>
			
			 <ti.ew:communityCommentsID>tvr_33299</ti.ew:communityCommentsID>
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			 <ti.ew:hilite><![CDATA[Thu, May 16 | ABC]]></ti.ew:hilite>
			 
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			 <ti.ew:image-credit><![CDATA[Richard Cartwright/ABC]]></ti.ew:image-credit>
			 
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-credit>Richard Cartwright/ABC</ti.ew:image-seo-credit>
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-caption>WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT BABY HUCK Original Huck starts to suspect that he's created a monster way too late to do anything about it. And then he chooses to invite Baby Huck (aka Quinn) to his scheduled torture session with Billy Chambers. Olivia is confused about this decision too.</ti.ew:image-seo-caption>
			 
			 <ti.ew:media>TV</ti.ew:media>
			 
			 <ti.ew:starship>NO</ti.ew:starship>
			 <ti.ew:grade>--</ti.ew:grade>
			 
			 <ti.ew:genre>Drama</ti.ew:genre>
			 <ti.ew:episode>Episode 22</ti.ew:episode>
			 <ti.ew:season>Season 2</ti.ew:season>			
			 
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			  <media:credit role="photographer"><![CDATA[Richard Cartwright/ABC]]></media:credit>
			  <media:copyright><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></media:copyright>
			  <media:caption type="html"><![CDATA[<p><strong>WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT BABY HUCK </strong>Original Huck starts to suspect that he's created a monster way too late to do anything about it. And then he chooses to invite Baby Huck (aka Quinn) to his scheduled torture session with Billy Chambers. Olivia is confused about this decision too.</p>]]></media:caption>
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			 <ti.ew:blog>TV Recaps</ti.ew:blog>
			 <ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>
			 <ti.ew:headline><![CDATA['The Vampire Diaries' season finale recap: A Whole New World]]></ti.ew:headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-headline><![CDATA['The Vampire Diaries' season finale recap: A Whole New World]]></ti.ew:seo-headline>
			 <ti.ew:headline-sort><![CDATA[Vampire Diaries' season finale recap: A Whole New World]]></ti.ew:headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:headline-a>V</ti.ew:headline-a>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline><![CDATA['The Vampire Diaries' season finale recap: A Whole New World]]></ti.ew:tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-headline><![CDATA['The Vampire Diaries' season finale recap: A Whole New World]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-sort><![CDATA[Vampire Diaries season finale recap: A Whole New World]]></ti.ew:tout-headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-a>V</ti.ew:tout-headline-a>
			 
			 <ti.ew:deck><![CDATA[The cure was digested, but all the twists in this episode will take a while]]></ti.ew:deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-deck><![CDATA[The cure was digested, but all the twists in this episode will take a while]]></ti.ew:seo-deck>
			 <ti.ew:tout-deck><![CDATA[The cure was digested, but all the twists in this episode will take a while]]></ti.ew:tout-deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-deck><![CDATA[The cure was digested, but all the twists in this episode will take a while]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-deck>			 
			 
			 <ti.ew:story><![CDATA[Exec producer Julie Plec has said that she viewed this season finale as a series finale, because there'd be so many changes come fall. And she wasn't kidding. Jeremy's alive, Bonnie's dead and gone, Klaus has agreed to let Tyler come back to town, Matt's having a summer fling with Rebekah, Elena and Damon are legitimately a couple, and Stefan is Silas' doppelgänger and buried alive when no one knows he's missing. To quote Crash Davis, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xc-ruS9DuE0" target="_blank">"We're dealing with a lot of s---."</a> Let's dig in.

We started with Kol motivating those who'd died in the massacres to make Graduation Day memorable, while Lexi and Stefan pre-partied at Salvatore Mansion to Bon Jovi's "You Give Love a Bad Name" -- appropriate considering her history with Damon. It was a dual celebration, really: Stefan's graduation (yet again) and the impending apocalypse. Stefan didn't feel like grooming his hero hair, so we cut to Bonnie phoning Caroline to tell her that she needed to wait until that night to have enough power to raise the veil again. Bonnie suggested they cancel graduation, but Caroline was having none of that. Bonnie wasn't ready to tell anyone that she was dead -- they'd been through so much, she said. Grams just told her to make sure she said her goodbyes before it was too late.

Jeremy and Alaric were spending quality time with a smiling Elena over greasy burgers and fries in that Salvatore Mansion courtyard none of us knew existed until this season. Jeremy enforced a no-crying rule, even though Elena's current tears were tears of joy because she was so happy to have those two back. Her mood changed when she got a call -- from Connor. Alexander had Matt standing on a bomb, and Rebekah refused to leave him. Vaughn showed up at the house (having starved to death in the well on the island) and shot Damon before delivering a message straight from Qetsiyah: The Hunters wanted the cure and they wanted Silas. Connor threatened to hurt all the loved ones in town for graduation dining at the Mystic Grill (well, it really is the only place to eat there), but before Vaughn could deliver another threat, Stefan ripped his heart out from behind.

Alaric made his way to the Grill and found Connor strapped with explosives. "This is my bar, pal. Nobody's gonna blow it up," Alaric said. Connor detonated the bomb, but Alaric had vamp-sped him away enough that the Grill was still standing. I guess we're happy about that?

Back to Matt and Rebekah we went: Alexander warned her that she couldn't pull that move with Matt. Matt tried to distract worried Rebekah by having her talk about her post-graduation plans. They're going to travel together, she decided. It's a date, he said. We all heard it Rebekah. We'll hold him to it! Katherine popped up at the school demanding the immortality that Bonnie promised her, and threatened Elena's life. Bonnie was about to crush her skull with that magical headache when other students dared to walk in the hallway and Katherine bolted.

<strong>NEXT: No one wants the cure now</strong>

At the Salvatore house, Damon gave Elena the cure as her graduation present. When Elena wouldn't take it -- because then the Hunters would kill people -- Damon knew the sire bond hadn't resurfaced when she got her humanity back. Damon thought Jeremy would help him convince her, but Jeremy said it was her choice. He accepts Elena as a vampire now. That's nice. Elena then noticed Damon wincing in pain and told him to take off his shirt. "Elena, there are children present," he cracked. She saw the wound from Vaughn's wooden-bullet gun hadn't healed. Why? The bullet was laced with werewolf venom -- and the Hunters were dicks.

With Klaus in New Orleans, the only hope was for Damon to take the cure and become human so he didn't die. That's what Elena wanted. But Damon said he was so motivated by Elena's save-the-world speech, he wouldn't do it. He gave the cure to Vaughn and told him they were off to dig up Silas. I was confused, but it later made sense: Damon didn't want to become human, so if he was going to die, he'd at least distract Vaughn.

Stefan had heard Elena and Damon fighting over the cure and thought it was strange they weren't discussing the bigger issue: Without the sire bond and with her humanity, Elena now knows her true feelings. If Elena loved Damon, Stefan said he'd leave town and finally live his life. And if she said she loved him, well, he'd take her back in a heartbeat because she's the love of his life. (That was that "Welcome back" last week.)

Matt reminded Rebekah that he was wearing the Gilbert ring, so he thought if she detonated the bomb, maybe he wouldn't die. Rebekah thought he'd still be blown to pieces. But she made him think she was going along with it. "The first rule of truly living: Do the thing you're most afraid of," she said. And she kissed him. She did that so she could move onto the block and move him off of it. She can't be killed; Matt can't miss graduation. Off he went. She told Alexander she'd finally chosen one of the good ones, and then she moved and boom.

Back at the Salvatores, Elena was freaking out about Damon leaving until Stefan told her it was a stall tactic. He said the bullet was only laced with werewolf venom, so Damon had time. Jeremy made Elena go to graduation, because somehow, she was still in the mood. Bonnie and Caroline were already there when Matt showed up. Then Elena and Stefan followed. Caroline couldn't believe they'd all made it -- group hug! Bonnie teared up but still said nothing. She didn't even tell her father, who presented them with their diplomas, the truth. She just thanked him -- for everything. Eh, they were never that close.

<strong>NEXT: Klaus!</strong>

When Bonnie sat down, Kol appeared in the seat behind her. This was more unfortunate than a tall football player walking in front of me across the football field at graduation and turning around to say, "I'm gonna walk really fast so you can't keep up." Lovely. Kol told Bonnie about his army of pissed off ghosts and no one noticed her sneaking off with him. Kol didn't want the veil to come back up -- he wanted it down so he could live on this side. She took him down to her body, and said that's what she wanted, too -- but you can't always get what you want. She trapped him in that room.

Back to Damon... Vaughn shot him a few more times when he realized that Damon had played him. One more bullet and Damon would have died in seconds, but Alaric showed up and snapped Vaughn's neck and tossed him down into the quarry. Alaric also managed to grab the cure back from Vaughn in the process. Fantastic. Alaric phoned the others ask Stefan whether he should watch Damon die or force-feed him the cure. The witches interrupted the call to give Caroline, their killer, and everyone else the headache from hell. The lead witch whose name I'm not even going to bother to look up suddenly got decapitated by a graduation cap thrown at her. KLAUS! Impressive. Caroline smiled. Probably because she, too, thought it was so cute that Klaus had put on a suit for the occasion. He threatened to speed-toss more caps, and the ghosts retreated.

We found out Klaus had given Damon his blood when we saw Damon's chest perfectly healed. Elena slapped Damon -- which made Alaric proud and Lexi laugh. Suddenly I'm shipping Lexi and Alaric. They really would be great together in supernatural purgatory. They're both so nurturing. I'm pretty sure he was turned on when she was talking about peace being out there if it's what Silas was looking for. Once they serve their time for whatever bad things they've done, they can move on, she imagines. <em>Purgatory: Date Night</em> -- another spinoff, please.

Elena asked for a moment with Stefan, and don't get your hopes up, Stelena fans: She just wanted to thank him for not giving up on her. He said he'd owed her one. He gave her his heart, and she gave him <del>a pen</del> the cure. "The only person worse at being a vampire than me is you," she said. She said he'd taught them how to live as vampires, and now he deserves whatever he wants out of life. I totally thought Stefan would end up taking it.

Caroline, we learned, had sent Klaus a graduation announcement -- hoping for cash, he joked. Or a mini fridge, she admitted. He'd thought about offering her a first-class ticket to New Orleans, but then he opted for something she'd use: He was letting Tyler come back to town. That was sweet, but also sexy as hell: "He's your first love. I intend to be your last. However long it takes," he said. He kissed her on the cheek and escorted her off-screen. What a loving way to send Klaus off to <em>The Originals</em>.

<strong>NEXT: Elena's choice</strong>

Back at Salvatore Mansion, Elena stormed into a room for a change. Damon said he wanted to apologize, but then realized he wasn't sorry. Yes, he'd rather die than be human, both because he didn't want to age and because he didn't want to age while she remained the same. He's selfish, and no apology would encompass all the reasons he's wrong for her, he said. Elena said she wasn't going to apologize either then. She's not sorry she met him. Not sorry that in death, he's the one who made her feel more alive. Not sorry that even though she knows it'll be the worst decision she's made, she's in love with him. "I love you, Damon,"  she said. And he kissed her. This time it was real. We could enjoy it. I mean, until we cut to Stefan sitting alone in the house with tears in his eyes. Having busted Lexi earlier for eavesdropping, it was her turn to walk up behind him and say, "Now, who's eavesdropping?" She put her hand on his shoulder and he held it. HEARTBREAKING.

Stefan decided he was really going to bury Silas in the quarry and Damon offered to go along with him. Stefan said he had Lexi coming. Being the great guy that he is, Stefan told Damon he's not happy about Elena, but he's not NOT happy for him. The best you could hope for in that situation.

It was time for the veil to go up, so Jeremy wimped out and wrote Elena a letter before coming to look for Bonnie. He wanted to be with her when she sealed it. He eventually told her there was so much he wanted to say to her but nothing seemed right. She told him not to speak. Instead, they kissed. When the veil was up, Jeremy gasped for air. That's when Bonnie knew: The spell that had killed her had worked. He was alive. He was so happy, until he realized he couldn't feel her hands on his face. She's the ghost now. She made him promise to tell Caroline and Elena that she was staying with her mother for summer -- which I suppose would be believable since she's always unseen for random periods of time. She told him she'd be okay -- she had Grams, who was there to walk off with her hand-in-hand, and the other witches. (But don't the other witches kind of hate you, Bonnie? But enjoy that!)

Since Elena was off looking for Bonnie and Jeremy, Alaric was with Damon. "You got the girl, man," Alaric said. "I got the girl," Damon said. "Now don't screw it up," Alaric said. "Well, with you lookin' over my shoulder, how can I?" Damon said. And Alaric was gone.

Stefan and Lexi were in his car, and she was trying to get him to go to New York or Las Vegas -- anywhere to start living his life. What if Elena was the one, Stefan asked. She was, Lexi said. She'll always be <em>an</em> epic love, but there can be multiple of those. Especially for a vampire. The only way to find another one was to let go and move on. He said he'd never been to Portland, and she was gone. "See you, Lexi," he said. For the record: I agree with Lexi. My sister has always said she believes we have like five people we could be perfectly happy with. It's just a matter of when you decide to stop looking and commit to one of them. That's really comforting until you realize all five of your guys have apparently chosen to be with one of their other four women before meeting you.

<strong>NEXT: The ultimate survivor is going to have to work harder now</strong>

Elena's search for Bonnie ended with her finding Kol, who luckily disappeared right before he could kill her. But Katherine was there to wish her a happy graduation -- and death. While those two fought off-camera, we watched Rebekah go see Matt. She figured he'd only said it was a travel-the-world date because they were under extreme duress. He told her he couldn't invite her in because he promised Tyler he'd keep the house a low-vampire zone, which is exactly how he needed to keep his love life. She turned to walk away, and he essentially said, that's why they could never have a real relationship but they could have a great summer. He has no college plans, no future. Since she almost killed him a year ago, he thinks it's her obligation to show him how to live. Part of me has resisted this pairing because of the way the Rebekah-Stefan reunion abruptly ended, but good for Matt. He deserves to be a kept man for a while.

We joined the Katherine-Elena brawl in progress. They blame each other for their unhappiness. There might have been a little too much trash-talking for my taste. I like the all ass-kicking <em>Arrow</em>-style fight sequence. Katherine eventually stabbed Elena in the neck. She shouldn't have played with her. She should have gone straight for the heart. We flashed back to Stefan giving Elena back the cure because, he said, everything he'd done this entire season was to get it <em>for her</em>. Elena shoved it in Katherine's mouth. When Katherine passed out beside her, Elena told her to enjoy her human life. That felt like a bit of a disappointment to me, because while I'm sure we'll see Katherine next season, it's not like we'll see her EVERY episode (or Nina Dobrev would die!). So the impact, while interesting since the outcome is the polar opposite of what Katherine wanted, isn't as high as it would've been if it had been Stefan. (And also: Have we established that Katherine <em>can't</em> just become a vampire again? I assume that would be too easy.)

Speaking of Stefan, he was ready to toss Silas into the quarry when he realized there was no stone Silas. Silas appeared to him as Elena and explained that the spell that turned him to stone was broken when the living witch who bound it (Bonnie) died. He also explained that he created the immortality spell 2,00 years ago, and the witches, needing to find a balance, created a version of him that could be killed. A shadow self. A doppelgänger. Stefan thought he was looking at Silas' real face, and that explained the Petrova doppelgänger. "Not exactly," Silas said. The reflection in the car window: STEFAN. "Hello, my shadow self," he said to Stefan. Then he staked him in the stomach, asked him if he knew what it was like to starve for 2,000 years, put him in the large safe, and pushed it into the quarry. So not only was Stefan buried alive, the safe filled up with water as it sank. BRUTAL. Everyone will just think Stefan has left town. So will Silas pose as Stefan now in Mystic Falls, or will he go off to do whatever in another city? Does this mean everything Silas said about wanting to die and be with his one true love was a lie? Is this the Curse of the Sun and the Moon all over again? Everything we thought we knew was wrong -- only this time, we didn't get our beloved Elijah taking an hour to explain it to us?

Well, we have all summer to ponder it. Start in the comments, friends. Regardless, I'm happy Paul Wesley will get to play a bad guy for at least a portion of next season, it seems. Your turn.]]></ti.ew:story>
			 <ti.ew:seo-story><![CDATA[Exec producer Julie Plec has said that she viewed this season finale as a series finale, because there'd be so many changes come fall. And she wasn't kidding. Jeremy's alive, Bonnie's dead and gone, Klaus has agreed to let Tyler come back to town, Matt's having a summer fling with Rebekah, Elena and Damon are legitimately a couple, and Stefan is Silas' doppelgänger and buried alive when no one knows he's missing. To quote Crash Davis, "We're dealing with a lot of s---." Let's dig in.

We started with Kol motivating those who'd died in the massacres to make Graduation Day memorable, while Lexi and Stefan pre-partied at Salvatore Mansion to Bon Jovi's "You Give Love a Bad Name" -- appropriate considering her history with Damon. It was a dual celebration, really: Stefan's graduation (yet again) and the impending apocalypse. Stefan didn't feel like grooming his hero hair, so we cut to Bonnie phoning Caroline to tell her that she needed to wait until that night to have enough power to raise the veil again. Bonnie suggested they cancel graduation, but Caroline was having none of that. Bonnie wasn't ready to tell anyone that she was dead -- they'd been through so much, she said. Grams just told her to make sure she said her goodbyes before it was too late.

Jeremy and Alaric were spending quality time with a smiling Elena over greasy burgers and fries in that Salvatore Mansion courtyard none of us knew existed until this season. Jeremy enforced a no-crying rule, even though Elena's current tears were tears of joy because she was so happy to have those two back. Her mood changed when she got a call -- from Connor. Alexander had Matt standing on a bomb, and Rebekah refused to leave him. Vaughn showed up at the house (having starved to death in the well on the island) and shot Damon before delivering a message straight from Qetsiyah: The Hunters wanted the cure and they wanted Silas. Connor threatened to hurt all the loved ones in town for graduation dining at the Mystic Grill (well, it really is the only place to eat there), but before Vaughn could deliver another threat, Stefan ripped his heart out from behind.

Alaric made his way to the Grill and found Connor strapped with explosives. "This is my bar, pal. Nobody's gonna blow it up," Alaric said. Connor detonated the bomb, but Alaric had vamp-sped him away enough that the Grill was still standing. I guess we're happy about that?

Back to Matt and Rebekah we went: Alexander warned her that she couldn't pull that move with Matt. Matt tried to distract worried Rebekah by having her talk about her post-graduation plans. They're going to travel together, she decided. It's a date, he said. We all heard it Rebekah. We'll hold him to it! Katherine popped up at the school demanding the immortality that Bonnie promised her, and threatened Elena's life. Bonnie was about to crush her skull with that magical headache when other students dared to walk in the hallway and Katherine bolted.

NEXT: No one wants the cure now

At the Salvatore house, Damon gave Elena the cure as her graduation present. When Elena wouldn't take it -- because then the Hunters would kill people -- Damon knew the sire bond hadn't resurfaced when she got her humanity back. Damon thought Jeremy would help him convince her, but Jeremy said it was her choice. He accepts Elena as a vampire now. That's nice. Elena then noticed Damon wincing in pain and told him to take off his shirt. "Elena, there are children present," he cracked. She saw the wound from Vaughn's wooden-bullet gun hadn't healed. Why? The bullet was laced with werewolf venom -- and the Hunters were dicks.

With Klaus in New Orleans, the only hope was for Damon to take the cure and become human so he didn't die. That's what Elena wanted. But Damon said he was so motivated by Elena's save-the-world speech, he wouldn't do it. He gave the cure to Vaughn and told him they were off to dig up Silas. I was confused, but it later made sense: Damon didn't want to become human, so if he was going to die, he'd at least distract Vaughn.

Stefan had heard Elena and Damon fighting over the cure and thought it was strange they weren't discussing the bigger issue: Without the sire bond and with her humanity, Elena now knows her true feelings. If Elena loved Damon, Stefan said he'd leave town and finally live his life. And if she said she loved him, well, he'd take her back in a heartbeat because she's the love of his life. (That was that "Welcome back" last week.)

Matt reminded Rebekah that he was wearing the Gilbert ring, so he thought if she detonated the bomb, maybe he wouldn't die. Rebekah thought he'd still be blown to pieces. But she made him think she was going along with it. "The first rule of truly living: Do the thing you're most afraid of," she said. And she kissed him. She did that so she could move onto the block and move him off of it. She can't be killed; Matt can't miss graduation. Off he went. She told Alexander she'd finally chosen one of the good ones, and then she moved and boom.

Back at the Salvatores, Elena was freaking out about Damon leaving until Stefan told her it was a stall tactic. He said the bullet was only laced with werewolf venom, so Damon had time. Jeremy made Elena go to graduation, because somehow, she was still in the mood. Bonnie and Caroline were already there when Matt showed up. Then Elena and Stefan followed. Caroline couldn't believe they'd all made it -- group hug! Bonnie teared up but still said nothing. She didn't even tell her father, who presented them with their diplomas, the truth. She just thanked him -- for everything. Eh, they were never that close.

NEXT: Klaus!

When Bonnie sat down, Kol appeared in the seat behind her. This was more unfortunate than a tall football player walking in front of me across the football field at graduation and turning around to say, "I'm gonna walk really fast so you can't keep up." Lovely. Kol told Bonnie about his army of pissed off ghosts and no one noticed her sneaking off with him. Kol didn't want the veil to come back up -- he wanted it down so he could live on this side. She took him down to her body, and said that's what she wanted, too -- but you can't always get what you want. She trapped him in that room.

Back to Damon... Vaughn shot him a few more times when he realized that Damon had played him. One more bullet and Damon would have died in seconds, but Alaric showed up and snapped Vaughn's neck and tossed him down into the quarry. Alaric also managed to grab the cure back from Vaughn in the process. Fantastic. Alaric phoned the others ask Stefan whether he should watch Damon die or force-feed him the cure. The witches interrupted the call to give Caroline, their killer, and everyone else the headache from hell. The lead witch whose name I'm not even going to bother to look up suddenly got decapitated by a graduation cap thrown at her. KLAUS! Impressive. Caroline smiled. Probably because she, too, thought it was so cute that Klaus had put on a suit for the occasion. He threatened to speed-toss more caps, and the ghosts retreated.

We found out Klaus had given Damon his blood when we saw Damon's chest perfectly healed. Elena slapped Damon -- which made Alaric proud and Lexi laugh. Suddenly I'm shipping Lexi and Alaric. They really would be great together in supernatural purgatory. They're both so nurturing. I'm pretty sure he was turned on when she was talking about peace being out there if it's what Silas was looking for. Once they serve their time for whatever bad things they've done, they can move on, she imagines. Purgatory: Date Night -- another spinoff, please.

Elena asked for a moment with Stefan, and don't get your hopes up, Stelena fans: She just wanted to thank him for not giving up on her. He said he'd owed her one. He gave her his heart, and she gave him a pen the cure. "The only person worse at being a vampire than me is you," she said. She said he'd taught them how to live as vampires, and now he deserves whatever he wants out of life. I totally thought Stefan would end up taking it.

Caroline, we learned, had sent Klaus a graduation announcement -- hoping for cash, he joked. Or a mini fridge, she admitted. He'd thought about offering her a first-class ticket to New Orleans, but then he opted for something she'd use: He was letting Tyler come back to town. That was sweet, but also sexy as hell: "He's your first love. I intend to be your last. However long it takes," he said. He kissed her on the cheek and escorted her off-screen. What a loving way to send Klaus off to The Originals.

NEXT: Elena's choice

Back at Salvatore Mansion, Elena stormed into a room for a change. Damon said he wanted to apologize, but then realized he wasn't sorry. Yes, he'd rather die than be human, both because he didn't want to age and because he didn't want to age while she remained the same. He's selfish, and no apology would encompass all the reasons he's wrong for her, he said. Elena said she wasn't going to apologize either then. She's not sorry she met him. Not sorry that in death, he's the one who made her feel more alive. Not sorry that even though she knows it'll be the worst decision she's made, she's in love with him. "I love you, Damon,"  she said. And he kissed her. This time it was real. We could enjoy it. I mean, until we cut to Stefan sitting alone in the house with tears in his eyes. Having busted Lexi earlier for eavesdropping, it was her turn to walk up behind him and say, "Now, who's eavesdropping?" She put her hand on his shoulder and he held it. HEARTBREAKING.

Stefan decided he was really going to bury Silas in the quarry and Damon offered to go along with him. Stefan said he had Lexi coming. Being the great guy that he is, Stefan told Damon he's not happy about Elena, but he's not NOT happy for him. The best you could hope for in that situation.

It was time for the veil to go up, so Jeremy wimped out and wrote Elena a letter before coming to look for Bonnie. He wanted to be with her when she sealed it. He eventually told her there was so much he wanted to say to her but nothing seemed right. She told him not to speak. Instead, they kissed. When the veil was up, Jeremy gasped for air. That's when Bonnie knew: The spell that had killed her had worked. He was alive. He was so happy, until he realized he couldn't feel her hands on his face. She's the ghost now. She made him promise to tell Caroline and Elena that she was staying with her mother for summer -- which I suppose would be believable since she's always unseen for random periods of time. She told him she'd be okay -- she had Grams, who was there to walk off with her hand-in-hand, and the other witches. (But don't the other witches kind of hate you, Bonnie? But enjoy that!)

Since Elena was off looking for Bonnie and Jeremy, Alaric was with Damon. "You got the girl, man," Alaric said. "I got the girl," Damon said. "Now don't screw it up," Alaric said. "Well, with you lookin' over my shoulder, how can I?" Damon said. And Alaric was gone.

Stefan and Lexi were in his car, and she was trying to get him to go to New York or Las Vegas -- anywhere to start living his life. What if Elena was the one, Stefan asked. She was, Lexi said. She'll always be an epic love, but there can be multiple of those. Especially for a vampire. The only way to find another one was to let go and move on. He said he'd never been to Portland, and she was gone. "See you, Lexi," he said. For the record: I agree with Lexi. My sister has always said she believes we have like five people we could be perfectly happy with. It's just a matter of when you decide to stop looking and commit to one of them. That's really comforting until you realize all five of your guys have apparently chosen to be with one of their other four women before meeting you.

NEXT: The ultimate survivor is going to have to work harder now

Elena's search for Bonnie ended with her finding Kol, who luckily disappeared right before he could kill her. But Katherine was there to wish her a happy graduation -- and death. While those two fought off-camera, we watched Rebekah go see Matt. She figured he'd only said it was a travel-the-world date because they were under extreme duress. He told her he couldn't invite her in because he promised Tyler he'd keep the house a low-vampire zone, which is exactly how he needed to keep his love life. She turned to walk away, and he essentially said, that's why they could never have a real relationship but they could have a great summer. He has no college plans, no future. Since she almost killed him a year ago, he thinks it's her obligation to show him how to live. Part of me has resisted this pairing because of the way the Rebekah-Stefan reunion abruptly ended, but good for Matt. He deserves to be a kept man for a while.

We joined the Katherine-Elena brawl in progress. They blame each other for their unhappiness. There might have been a little too much trash-talking for my taste. I like the all ass-kicking Arrow-style fight sequence. Katherine eventually stabbed Elena in the neck. She shouldn't have played with her. She should have gone straight for the heart. We flashed back to Stefan giving Elena back the cure because, he said, everything he'd done this entire season was to get it for her. Elena shoved it in Katherine's mouth. When Katherine passed out beside her, Elena told her to enjoy her human life. That felt like a bit of a disappointment to me, because while I'm sure we'll see Katherine next season, it's not like we'll see her EVERY episode (or Nina Dobrev would die!). So the impact, while interesting since the outcome is the polar opposite of what Katherine wanted, isn't as high as it would've been if it had been Stefan. (And also: Have we established that Katherine can't just become a vampire again? I assume that would be too easy.)

Speaking of Stefan, he was ready to toss Silas into the quarry when he realized there was no stone Silas. Silas appeared to him as Elena and explained that the spell that turned him to stone was broken when the living witch who bound it (Bonnie) died. He also explained that he created the immortality spell 2,00 years ago, and the witches, needing to find a balance, created a version of him that could be killed. A shadow self. A doppelgänger. Stefan thought he was looking at Silas' real face, and that explained the Petrova doppelgänger. "Not exactly," Silas said. The reflection in the car window: STEFAN. "Hello, my shadow self," he said to Stefan. Then he staked him in the stomach, asked him if he knew what it was like to starve for 2,000 years, put him in the large safe, and pushed it into the quarry. So not only was Stefan buried alive, the safe filled up with water as it sank. BRUTAL. Everyone will just think Stefan has left town. So will Silas pose as Stefan now in Mystic Falls, or will he go off to do whatever in another city? Does this mean everything Silas said about wanting to die and be with his one true love was a lie? Is this the Curse of the Sun and the Moon all over again? Everything we thought we knew was wrong -- only this time, we didn't get our beloved Elijah taking an hour to explain it to us?

Well, we have all summer to ponder it. Start in the comments, friends. Regardless, I'm happy Paul Wesley will get to play a bad guy for at least a portion of next season, it seems. Your turn.]]></ti.ew:seo-story>
			 
			 <ti.ew:episode-type>Regular Episode</ti.ew:episode-type>
			
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword><![CDATA[The Vampire Diaries]]></ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword>TV</ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[The Vampire Diaries]]></ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[The Vampire Diaries]]></ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name><![CDATA[The Vampire Diaries]]></ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name><![CDATA[The Vampire Diaries]]></ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name>
			 
			 
			 
			 <guid><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/vampire-diaries-season-4-episode-23/]]></guid>
			 <category><![CDATA[TV]]></category>
			 <title type="html"><![CDATA['The Vampire Diaries' season finale recap: A Whole New World]]></title>
			 
			 <description type="html"><![CDATA[The cure was digested, but all the twists in this episode will take a while]]></description>
			 <link><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/vampire-diaries-season-4-episode-23/]]></link>
			 <pubDate><![CDATA[Fri, 17 May 2013 00:55:02 -0400 ]]></pubDate>
			 <author><![CDATA[Mandi Bierly]]></author>			 
			 <ti.ew:excerpt type="html"><![CDATA[Exec producer Julie Plec has said that she viewed this season finale as a series finale, because there'd be so many changes come fall. And she wasn't kidding. Jeremy's alive, Bonnie's dead and gone, Klaus has agreed to let Tyler come back to town, Matt's having a summer fling with Rebekah, Elena and Damon are legitimately a couple, and Stefan is Silas' doppelgänger and buried alive when no one knows he's missing. To quote Crash Davis, "We're dealing with a lot of s---." Let's dig in.

We started with Kol motivating those who'd died in the massacres to make Graduation Day memorable, while Lexi and ......]]></ti.ew:excerpt>
			 <ti.ew:copyright type="html"><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></ti.ew:copyright>
			 <ti.ew:series><![CDATA[The Vampire Diaries]]></ti.ew:series>
			 <tvSeries><![CDATA[The Vampire Diaries]]></tvSeries>
			 
			 <utcDate><![CDATA[1368752102]]></utcDate>
			 <postID><![CDATA[33285]]></postID>
			 
			 <ti.ew:airdate>Thu, 16 May 2013 00:00:00 +0000</ti.ew:airdate>
			 <ti.ew:airdate-formatted>May 16</ti.ew:airdate-formatted>
			 <ti.ew:content-type>Recap</ti.ew:content-type>
			 <ti.ew:channel>TV</ti.ew:channel>
			 <ti.ew:community-section-name>TV Watch</ti.ew:community-section-name>
			 <ti.ew:eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:eyebrow>			
			 <ti.ew:network><![CDATA[The CW]]></ti.ew:network>
			 <tvNetwork><![CDATA[The CW]]></tvNetwork>
			
			 <ti.ew:communityCommentsID>tvr_33285</ti.ew:communityCommentsID>
			 <ti.ew:community-resource-id>tvr_33285</ti.ew:community-resource-id>			
			 <commentBoardId>tvr_33285</commentBoardId>
			 
			 <viewerLink></viewerLink>
			
			 <ti.ew:hilite><![CDATA[Thu, May 16 | The CW]]></ti.ew:hilite>
			 
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			 <ti.ew:image-credit><![CDATA[Curtis Baker/The CW]]></ti.ew:image-credit>
			 
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-credit>Curtis Baker/The CW</ti.ew:image-seo-credit>
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-caption>TAKE IT OFF Elena (Nina Dobrev) wanted to see Damon (Ian Somerhalder) shirtless -- and it really was life or death.</ti.ew:image-seo-caption>
			 
			 <ti.ew:media>TV</ti.ew:media>
			 
			 <ti.ew:starship>NO</ti.ew:starship>
			 <ti.ew:grade>--</ti.ew:grade>
			 
			 <ti.ew:genre>Drama</ti.ew:genre>
			 <ti.ew:episode>Episode 23</ti.ew:episode>
			 <ti.ew:season>Season 4</ti.ew:season>			
			 
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			  <media:credit role="photographer"><![CDATA[Curtis Baker/The CW]]></media:credit>
			  <media:copyright><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></media:copyright>
			  <media:caption type="html"><![CDATA[<p><strong>TAKE IT OFF </strong>Elena (Nina Dobrev) wanted to see Damon (Ian Somerhalder) shirtless -- and it really was life or death.</p>]]></media:caption>
			 </media:group>
						
			</item>
						
			<item>
			
			 <ti.ew:blog>TV Recaps</ti.ew:blog>
			 <ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>
			 <ti.ew:headline><![CDATA['Grey's Anatomy' season finale recap: Shocked]]></ti.ew:headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-headline><![CDATA['Grey's Anatomy' season finale recap: Shocked]]></ti.ew:seo-headline>
			 <ti.ew:headline-sort><![CDATA[Grey's Anatomy' season finale recap: Shocked]]></ti.ew:headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:headline-a>G</ti.ew:headline-a>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline><![CDATA['Grey's Anatomy' season finale recap: Shocked]]></ti.ew:tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-headline><![CDATA['Grey's Anatomy' season finale recap: Shocked]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-sort><![CDATA[Grey's Anatomy season finale recap: Shocked]]></ti.ew:tout-headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-a>G</ti.ew:tout-headline-a>
			 
			 <ti.ew:deck><![CDATA[The super storm hits the hospital, Meredith goes into labor, Jackson risks his life, and one Grey's veteran might not make it out alive]]></ti.ew:deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-deck><![CDATA[The super storm hits the hospital, Meredith goes into labor, Jackson risks his life, and one <em>Grey's</em> veteran might not make it out alive]]></ti.ew:seo-deck>
			 <ti.ew:tout-deck><![CDATA[The super storm hits the hospital, Meredith goes into labor, Jackson risks his life, and one Grey's veteran might not make it out alive]]></ti.ew:tout-deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-deck><![CDATA[The super storm hits the hospital, Meredith goes into labor, Jackson risks his life, and one <em>Grey's</em> veteran might not make it out alive]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-deck>			 
			 
			 <ti.ew:story><![CDATA[I'm freaking out. I spent the entire episode predicting which character was going to end the season in peril, and let's just say that the nature of the episode caused me to change my mind at least four times. And there wasn't any scenario I liked. The end result? Well, I'll say that I was able to understand it, but that does <em>not</em> mean I liked it.<strong> </strong>For one last time in season 9, let's do this... before my head explodes.

The first glimpse we got of the finale was a slow-motion running sequence. And no, we're not talking the <em>Baywatch</em> kind. Derek and Cristina ran down the hall of the hospital with looks of sheer panic on their faces as Meredith's voiceover was as cryptic as ever. Explaining that doctors define a "perfect storm" as a scenario in which everything that could have gone wrong did, she said, "Funny. Never thought it would happen to me." Cue my first guess in the game of "who might die" -- Meredith Grey. But was I right? Well, we'll have to wait to find out, because it's time for a time jump!

Five hours earlier...

Cristina and Owen <em>finally</em> said goodbye to Ethan, but that simply forced them to say hello to their own problems. Cristina confronted Owen on his wanting to adopt Ethan, but he assured her that he wanted his life to be with her. It was basically a battle of who knew Owen Hunt better, and both seemed to think they were winning. Before the staring contest could continue, Cristina got paged and the battle was put on hold. Meredith was in labor and needed Cristina there to repeat everything she said to McDreamy in a forceful manner so that he would listen. And it worked, all the way up until the moment when we learned that baby boy Shepherd was coming out face-first. For those of you, like me, who don't know anything about giving birth, that meant that Meredith had to have a C-section. And she had to have it right then.

But Meredith wasn't the only one making tough decisions in the middle of the super storm. Bailey scrubbed in for her surgery before backing out and forcing Richard (who was back to his old ways of running things -- that man is good in a crisis) to take over. On preparation duty, Callie was busy giving wedding ring advice to April (pin it to your scrub top!) and wondering who had seen Arizona. The answer? Well, Lauren had just recently seen way too much of Arizona if you ask me. And the guilt was already settling in when Arizona was paged to help take care of the babies. Luckily, Alex and Jo were there to help. But how much can you help when the power goes completely out in the hospital? Turns out, not much.

<strong>NEXT: Richard Webber is the Yoda of Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital</strong>



One man who wasn't being slowed down by the power outage was the veteran of all veterans, the Yoda of this hospital, Dr. Richard Webber. Using cell phones as flashlights, Webber teamed with Ben to try and save Bailey's former patient. And when he needed help from a very reluctant Cristina Yang, Webber did what he does best: He gave an epic speech. Before you knew it, Cristina was opening a man's chest in the dark. And when she complained about shadows and her vision being impaired, Richard had an answer for every problem. Everyone in the room turned out their headlights, flashlights, etc. and let Cristina listen to the patient's heart. She quickly had her hand on the bleeder. Done and done. Is Richard the best teacher this hospital has ever seen? Cristina thought so when she told Richard that he made her a better doctor in there. Ben also agreed when he told Richard that he finally understood what Bailey was always talking about -- Richard pulls out greatness in people. And suddenly, I'm really worried about Richard...

Speaking of Richard, Meredith could have used a little of her not-actual-father father as she became the one on the OR table. Did anyone else panic when Meredith told Derek that she would be "fine?" That word is the quickest way to doom yourself in the <em>Grey's</em> world. Just ask Denny. *moment of silence for remembering Denny* Okay, back to the OR, where Meredith and Derek bickered over baby names. She wanted Sebastian, but Sebastian Shepherd was a bit of a mouthful for McDreamy, who preferred Wayne, which was a bit too country for Mer. But the name game quickly became irrelevant when the baby boy finally said hello to the world. After panicking his mother (and me) with his silence, mini-McDreamy started to cry, and Derek headed off to be with his son at his wife's request. And at Derek's request, Brooks and Ross were not to leave Meredith's side. That was comforting, right? Not.

Derek traveled over to the land where Arizona was desperately trying to keep the tiny-human-makers happy while simultaneously failing at playing it cool around the woman she just slept with in the on-call room. With baby monitors slowly losing battery and no spare batteries to be found, Arizona tried to keep everyone calm, which led to some very uncomfortable smiling on the part of Karev. It just didn't seem to fit his face. Regardless, the team came together when more and more monitors started shutting off completely. Derek quieted the room while Jo taught parents how to bag their own babies. Talk about a partay.

And just in case all of the chaos in the hospital wasn't enough for you, Callie and Bailey witnessed a bus crashing directly in front of the hospital's doors. But why stop there? Then the bus started to catch fire. The rain tried to hold it off, but we all knew it was a ticking time bomb, so you can imagine my panic when both Jackson and Owen climbed inside to help. I'm all for heroics, but we all know where that got George. *moment of silence for remembering George* Deep breath, everybody. Jackson and Owen both got out of the bus, but Jackson didn't immediately go back inside like he was supposed to. When he spotted a little girl (the daughter of his patient), he lay down on the street to try to convince her to come with him. I had officially stopped breathing at this point... as had April. And when the bus caught completely on fire and then exploded, Matthew had to hold back his fiancée as she panicked like only a person in love could. Like I said, take a deep breath. Jackson walked out of the smoke with a little girl in his arms. Phew!

<strong>NEXT: Bailey's moment of truth</strong>



Jackson wasn't the only hero of the day. After Meredith's doctor got called away to deliver another baby, Shane fought for the opportunity to close up shop. It was as easy as 1,2,3 up until Meredith's spleen wouldn't stop bleeding. I knew that fall would come back to bite us! Meredith talked Shane through as much of the procedure as she could until she was about to pass out, at which point she made Shane promise not to revive her if she arrested for more than nine minutes. He promised, and Brooks ran to find help. Just as Meredith was about to tell Shane the baby's name, some random person put a gas mask on her. Really? Nice timing, random gas mask person. Thanks a lot.

Meanwhile, what Brooks found was a very frustrated Bailey, who wanted nothing more than to get meds for the patients. Trick was, the cart holding all of the meds required an electronic code. Power outage = no electricity = no meds. But when Brooks informed Bailey of Mer's situation, she took matters into her own, Nazi-like hands. Bailey physically busted open the meds cart (the best form of therapy for her) before putting on multiple pairs of gloves and getting back into the OR, where she operated on Meredith while Cristina and Derek sat outside the OR doors and discussed all the ways in which their best friend was going to be "fine" -- there's that word again. "Meredith Grey has survived a bomb, a drowning, a gunman, and a plane crash," Cristina said. Her prediction was that Mer was going to die in her bed at age 90. Or at least that's what she wanted for their person, who came out of surgery just fine after Bailey worked her uninfected magic. Another crisis, another hero.

And you can't have a hero help you through a tough delivery without naming your baby after him or her, right? We learned that in season 2! So <em>Grey's</em> fans, welcome Bailey Shepherd to the family. Here's to hoping he has his father's hair and stays as far away from his mother's luck as possible.

However, if crises only brought heroes to the light, they wouldn't be very much fun now would they? Back in babyland, Arizona told Alex about her infidelity, to which he confessed his love for Jo and admitted that he was scared that Jo would go crazy or get all cancer-y or mean if he told her. And that confession made him the worse person of the two of them. Well, according to him. But try telling that to Callie after she realized Lauren was wearing Arizona's scrub top (wedding ring pinned to it and all). Once the lights came back on in the hospital, it took about .5 seconds for Callie to connect those dots, and it's a good thing she did, because Lauren was not ashamed of what happened. In fact, she seemed in it to win it with Arizona. And how did Arizona feel? Like Callie has said all season, it always comes back to the leg. Arizona made it very clear that Callie was not on that plane and that she trusted her not to cut off her leg. As she put it, "You didn't lose anything. I did." But apparently, Callie had lost something... her wife.

<strong>NEXT: Love, loss and a major shock factor</strong>



After Avery got back inside, April gave him a good, frustrated, I-love-you-so-much-don't-scare-me-like-that-ever-again shove before taking a lap to cool down. But when she circled back around, all she could say was, "I want you, Jackson. I want <em>you.</em>" So now we know, all it took for those two to get together was one of them thinking the other was dead. We'll keep that in mind for next time. And as romantic as April's speech was, Jackson couldn't help but bring up the elephant in the room: She was getting married. "Unless you can give me a reason not to," she told him. I, personally, can think of six reasons, and they're sitting on the abdomen of that beautiful man right in front of you. Just sayin'.

Continuing with confessions of love, Alex finally said those three words to Jo, and Jolex shippers got the kiss they had been waiting for. Are these two just crazy enough to actually work? I think they might be. But not everything was crazy enough to work in this episode. And when Cristina finally reunited with Owen, she took him through her surgery-in-the-dark from earlier in the day. The OR is where Cristina feels joy. It's where she's content. And according to her, Owen was content with Ethan. And him wanting kids means that they can't work. Cristina asked if he truly believed that she would ever be enough, and Owen wasn't able to find words. As she walked away, he tried to stop her, but as she put it, "It already happened."

And now, just as all storms do, things came to an end. With Bailey on her way to find and apologize to Richard, Meredith's voiceover got even darker than normal: "There's an end to everything, every storm. Once all the trees have been uprooted, once all the houses have been ripped apart, the wind will hush, the clouds will part, the rain will stop, the sky will clear in an instant and only then, in those quiet moments after the storm do we learn who was strong enough to survive it." Unfortunately, one person wasn't strong enough to survive. Richard had gone down in the electrical room to try to fix the light situation and, by the end of the storm, he was left lying in a puddle after having suffered an electric shock... with no one around.

DISCUSS! Is Richard really dead? Are Owen and Cristina done for good? Will Jackson tell April how he really feels? And how much do you love that Meredith's baby is named Bailey? Also, are Arizona and Callie over? It doesn't seem like Arizona will ever get over this leg thing. Will Lauren be a permanent addition to the hospital?

My mind is reeling, and I can't stop reliving all of the Richard greatness of the past nine years. Yes, it would be nice for him to be reunited with his lady loves, but I just don't want to imagine a world without his sage wisdom and awesome goatee. What about you?

<em>Samantha on Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/samhighfill">@samhighfill</a></em>]]></ti.ew:story>
			 <ti.ew:seo-story><![CDATA[I'm freaking out. I spent the entire episode predicting which character was going to end the season in peril, and let's just say that the nature of the episode caused me to change my mind at least four times. And there wasn't any scenario I liked. The end result? Well, I'll say that I was able to understand it, but that does not mean I liked it. For one last time in season 9, let's do this... before my head explodes.

The first glimpse we got of the finale was a slow-motion running sequence. And no, we're not talking the Baywatch kind. Derek and Cristina ran down the hall of the hospital with looks of sheer panic on their faces as Meredith's voiceover was as cryptic as ever. Explaining that doctors define a "perfect storm" as a scenario in which everything that could have gone wrong did, she said, "Funny. Never thought it would happen to me." Cue my first guess in the game of "who might die" -- Meredith Grey. But was I right? Well, we'll have to wait to find out, because it's time for a time jump!

Five hours earlier...

Cristina and Owen finally said goodbye to Ethan, but that simply forced them to say hello to their own problems. Cristina confronted Owen on his wanting to adopt Ethan, but he assured her that he wanted his life to be with her. It was basically a battle of who knew Owen Hunt better, and both seemed to think they were winning. Before the staring contest could continue, Cristina got paged and the battle was put on hold. Meredith was in labor and needed Cristina there to repeat everything she said to McDreamy in a forceful manner so that he would listen. And it worked, all the way up until the moment when we learned that baby boy Shepherd was coming out face-first. For those of you, like me, who don't know anything about giving birth, that meant that Meredith had to have a C-section. And she had to have it right then.

But Meredith wasn't the only one making tough decisions in the middle of the super storm. Bailey scrubbed in for her surgery before backing out and forcing Richard (who was back to his old ways of running things -- that man is good in a crisis) to take over. On preparation duty, Callie was busy giving wedding ring advice to April (pin it to your scrub top!) and wondering who had seen Arizona. The answer? Well, Lauren had just recently seen way too much of Arizona if you ask me. And the guilt was already settling in when Arizona was paged to help take care of the babies. Luckily, Alex and Jo were there to help. But how much can you help when the power goes completely out in the hospital? Turns out, not much.

NEXT: Richard Webber is the Yoda of Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital



One man who wasn't being slowed down by the power outage was the veteran of all veterans, the Yoda of this hospital, Dr. Richard Webber. Using cell phones as flashlights, Webber teamed with Ben to try and save Bailey's former patient. And when he needed help from a very reluctant Cristina Yang, Webber did what he does best: He gave an epic speech. Before you knew it, Cristina was opening a man's chest in the dark. And when she complained about shadows and her vision being impaired, Richard had an answer for every problem. Everyone in the room turned out their headlights, flashlights, etc. and let Cristina listen to the patient's heart. She quickly had her hand on the bleeder. Done and done. Is Richard the best teacher this hospital has ever seen? Cristina thought so when she told Richard that he made her a better doctor in there. Ben also agreed when he told Richard that he finally understood what Bailey was always talking about -- Richard pulls out greatness in people. And suddenly, I'm really worried about Richard...

Speaking of Richard, Meredith could have used a little of her not-actual-father father as she became the one on the OR table. Did anyone else panic when Meredith told Derek that she would be "fine?" That word is the quickest way to doom yourself in the Grey's world. Just ask Denny. *moment of silence for remembering Denny* Okay, back to the OR, where Meredith and Derek bickered over baby names. She wanted Sebastian, but Sebastian Shepherd was a bit of a mouthful for McDreamy, who preferred Wayne, which was a bit too country for Mer. But the name game quickly became irrelevant when the baby boy finally said hello to the world. After panicking his mother (and me) with his silence, mini-McDreamy started to cry, and Derek headed off to be with his son at his wife's request. And at Derek's request, Brooks and Ross were not to leave Meredith's side. That was comforting, right? Not.

Derek traveled over to the land where Arizona was desperately trying to keep the tiny-human-makers happy while simultaneously failing at playing it cool around the woman she just slept with in the on-call room. With baby monitors slowly losing battery and no spare batteries to be found, Arizona tried to keep everyone calm, which led to some very uncomfortable smiling on the part of Karev. It just didn't seem to fit his face. Regardless, the team came together when more and more monitors started shutting off completely. Derek quieted the room while Jo taught parents how to bag their own babies. Talk about a partay.

And just in case all of the chaos in the hospital wasn't enough for you, Callie and Bailey witnessed a bus crashing directly in front of the hospital's doors. But why stop there? Then the bus started to catch fire. The rain tried to hold it off, but we all knew it was a ticking time bomb, so you can imagine my panic when both Jackson and Owen climbed inside to help. I'm all for heroics, but we all know where that got George. *moment of silence for remembering George* Deep breath, everybody. Jackson and Owen both got out of the bus, but Jackson didn't immediately go back inside like he was supposed to. When he spotted a little girl (the daughter of his patient), he lay down on the street to try to convince her to come with him. I had officially stopped breathing at this point... as had April. And when the bus caught completely on fire and then exploded, Matthew had to hold back his fiancée as she panicked like only a person in love could. Like I said, take a deep breath. Jackson walked out of the smoke with a little girl in his arms. Phew!

NEXT: Bailey's moment of truth



Jackson wasn't the only hero of the day. After Meredith's doctor got called away to deliver another baby, Shane fought for the opportunity to close up shop. It was as easy as 1,2,3 up until Meredith's spleen wouldn't stop bleeding. I knew that fall would come back to bite us! Meredith talked Shane through as much of the procedure as she could until she was about to pass out, at which point she made Shane promise not to revive her if she arrested for more than nine minutes. He promised, and Brooks ran to find help. Just as Meredith was about to tell Shane the baby's name, some random person put a gas mask on her. Really? Nice timing, random gas mask person. Thanks a lot.

Meanwhile, what Brooks found was a very frustrated Bailey, who wanted nothing more than to get meds for the patients. Trick was, the cart holding all of the meds required an electronic code. Power outage = no electricity = no meds. But when Brooks informed Bailey of Mer's situation, she took matters into her own, Nazi-like hands. Bailey physically busted open the meds cart (the best form of therapy for her) before putting on multiple pairs of gloves and getting back into the OR, where she operated on Meredith while Cristina and Derek sat outside the OR doors and discussed all the ways in which their best friend was going to be "fine" -- there's that word again. "Meredith Grey has survived a bomb, a drowning, a gunman, and a plane crash," Cristina said. Her prediction was that Mer was going to die in her bed at age 90. Or at least that's what she wanted for their person, who came out of surgery just fine after Bailey worked her uninfected magic. Another crisis, another hero.

And you can't have a hero help you through a tough delivery without naming your baby after him or her, right? We learned that in season 2! So Grey's fans, welcome Bailey Shepherd to the family. Here's to hoping he has his father's hair and stays as far away from his mother's luck as possible.

However, if crises only brought heroes to the light, they wouldn't be very much fun now would they? Back in babyland, Arizona told Alex about her infidelity, to which he confessed his love for Jo and admitted that he was scared that Jo would go crazy or get all cancer-y or mean if he told her. And that confession made him the worse person of the two of them. Well, according to him. But try telling that to Callie after she realized Lauren was wearing Arizona's scrub top (wedding ring pinned to it and all). Once the lights came back on in the hospital, it took about .5 seconds for Callie to connect those dots, and it's a good thing she did, because Lauren was not ashamed of what happened. In fact, she seemed in it to win it with Arizona. And how did Arizona feel? Like Callie has said all season, it always comes back to the leg. Arizona made it very clear that Callie was not on that plane and that she trusted her not to cut off her leg. As she put it, "You didn't lose anything. I did." But apparently, Callie had lost something... her wife.

NEXT: Love, loss and a major shock factor



After Avery got back inside, April gave him a good, frustrated, I-love-you-so-much-don't-scare-me-like-that-ever-again shove before taking a lap to cool down. But when she circled back around, all she could say was, "I want you, Jackson. I want you." So now we know, all it took for those two to get together was one of them thinking the other was dead. We'll keep that in mind for next time. And as romantic as April's speech was, Jackson couldn't help but bring up the elephant in the room: She was getting married. "Unless you can give me a reason not to," she told him. I, personally, can think of six reasons, and they're sitting on the abdomen of that beautiful man right in front of you. Just sayin'.

Continuing with confessions of love, Alex finally said those three words to Jo, and Jolex shippers got the kiss they had been waiting for. Are these two just crazy enough to actually work? I think they might be. But not everything was crazy enough to work in this episode. And when Cristina finally reunited with Owen, she took him through her surgery-in-the-dark from earlier in the day. The OR is where Cristina feels joy. It's where she's content. And according to her, Owen was content with Ethan. And him wanting kids means that they can't work. Cristina asked if he truly believed that she would ever be enough, and Owen wasn't able to find words. As she walked away, he tried to stop her, but as she put it, "It already happened."

And now, just as all storms do, things came to an end. With Bailey on her way to find and apologize to Richard, Meredith's voiceover got even darker than normal: "There's an end to everything, every storm. Once all the trees have been uprooted, once all the houses have been ripped apart, the wind will hush, the clouds will part, the rain will stop, the sky will clear in an instant and only then, in those quiet moments after the storm do we learn who was strong enough to survive it." Unfortunately, one person wasn't strong enough to survive. Richard had gone down in the electrical room to try to fix the light situation and, by the end of the storm, he was left lying in a puddle after having suffered an electric shock... with no one around.

DISCUSS! Is Richard really dead? Are Owen and Cristina done for good? Will Jackson tell April how he really feels? And how much do you love that Meredith's baby is named Bailey? Also, are Arizona and Callie over? It doesn't seem like Arizona will ever get over this leg thing. Will Lauren be a permanent addition to the hospital?

My mind is reeling, and I can't stop reliving all of the Richard greatness of the past nine years. Yes, it would be nice for him to be reunited with his lady loves, but I just don't want to imagine a world without his sage wisdom and awesome goatee. What about you?

Samantha on Twitter: @samhighfill]]></ti.ew:seo-story>
			 
			 <ti.ew:episode-type>Regular Episode</ti.ew:episode-type>
			
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword><![CDATA[Grey's Anatomy]]></ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword>TV</ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[Grey's Anatomy]]></ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[Grey's Anatomy]]></ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name><![CDATA[Grey's Anatomy]]></ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name><![CDATA[Grey's Anatomy]]></ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name>
			 
			 
			 
			 <guid><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/greys-anatomy-season-9-episode-24-finale/]]></guid>
			 <category><![CDATA[TV]]></category>
			 <title type="html"><![CDATA['Grey's Anatomy' season finale recap: Shocked]]></title>
			 
			 <description type="html"><![CDATA[The super storm hits the hospital, Meredith goes into labor, Jackson risks his life, and one <em>Grey's</em> veteran might not make it out alive]]></description>
			 <link><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/greys-anatomy-season-9-episode-24-finale/]]></link>
			 <pubDate><![CDATA[Fri, 17 May 2013 00:36:17 -0400 ]]></pubDate>
			 <author><![CDATA[Samantha Highfill]]></author>			 
			 <ti.ew:excerpt type="html"><![CDATA[I'm freaking out. I spent the entire episode predicting which character was going to end the season in peril, and let's just say that the nature of the episode caused me to change my mind at least four times. And there wasn't any scenario I liked. The end result? Well, I'll say that I was able to understand it, but that does not mean I liked it. For one last time in season 9, let's do this... before my head explodes.

The first glimpse we got of the finale was a slow-motion running sequence. And no, we're not talking the Baywatch kind. ......]]></ti.ew:excerpt>
			 <ti.ew:copyright type="html"><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></ti.ew:copyright>
			 <ti.ew:series><![CDATA[Grey's Anatomy]]></ti.ew:series>
			 <tvSeries><![CDATA[Grey's Anatomy]]></tvSeries>
			 
			 <utcDate><![CDATA[1368750977]]></utcDate>
			 <postID><![CDATA[33279]]></postID>
			 
			 <ti.ew:airdate>Thu, 16 May 2013 00:00:00 +0000</ti.ew:airdate>
			 <ti.ew:airdate-formatted>May 16</ti.ew:airdate-formatted>
			 <ti.ew:content-type>Recap</ti.ew:content-type>
			 <ti.ew:channel>TV</ti.ew:channel>
			 <ti.ew:community-section-name>TV Watch</ti.ew:community-section-name>
			 <ti.ew:eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:eyebrow>			
			 <ti.ew:network><![CDATA[ABC]]></ti.ew:network>
			 <tvNetwork><![CDATA[ABC]]></tvNetwork>
			
			 <ti.ew:communityCommentsID>tvr_33279</ti.ew:communityCommentsID>
			 <ti.ew:community-resource-id>tvr_33279</ti.ew:community-resource-id>			
			 <commentBoardId>tvr_33279</commentBoardId>
			 
			 <viewerLink></viewerLink>
			
			 <ti.ew:hilite><![CDATA[Thu, May 16 | ABC]]></ti.ew:hilite>
			 
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			 <ti.ew:image-credit><![CDATA[Eric McCandless/ABC]]></ti.ew:image-credit>
			 
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-credit>Eric McCandless/ABC</ti.ew:image-seo-credit>
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-caption>EYES WIDE OPEN Bailey (Chandra Wilson) and Callie (Sara Ramirez) witness a bus crash that creates chaos at the already-chaotic Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital.</ti.ew:image-seo-caption>
			 
			 <ti.ew:media>TV</ti.ew:media>
			 
			 <ti.ew:starship>NO</ti.ew:starship>
			 <ti.ew:grade>--</ti.ew:grade>
			 
			 <ti.ew:genre>Drama</ti.ew:genre>
			 <ti.ew:episode>Episode 24</ti.ew:episode>
			 <ti.ew:season>Season 9</ti.ew:season>			
			 
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			  <media:credit role="photographer"><![CDATA[Eric McCandless/ABC]]></media:credit>
			  <media:copyright><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></media:copyright>
			  <media:caption type="html"><![CDATA[<p><strong>EYES WIDE OPEN</strong> Bailey (Chandra Wilson) and Callie (Sara Ramirez) witness a bus crash that creates chaos at the already-chaotic Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital.</p>]]></media:caption>
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			 <ti.ew:blog>TV Recaps</ti.ew:blog>
			 <ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>
			 <ti.ew:headline><![CDATA['American Idol' recap: Kreedom and the Candy Girl]]></ti.ew:headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-headline><![CDATA['American Idol' recap: Kreedom and the Candy Girl]]></ti.ew:seo-headline>
			 <ti.ew:headline-sort><![CDATA[American Idol' recap: Kreedom and the Candy Girl]]></ti.ew:headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:headline-a>A</ti.ew:headline-a>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline><![CDATA['American Idol' recap: Kreedom and the Candy Girl]]></ti.ew:tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-headline><![CDATA['American Idol' recap: Kreedom and the Candy Girl]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-sort><![CDATA[American Idol recap: Kreedom and the Candy Girl]]></ti.ew:tout-headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-a>A</ti.ew:tout-headline-a>
			 
			 <ti.ew:deck><![CDATA[Candice Glover and Kree Harrison both prompt Keith Urban to throw up his gospel hand in the season 12 finals]]></ti.ew:deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-deck><![CDATA[Candice Glover and Kree Harrison both prompt Keith Urban to throw up his gospel hand in the season 12 finals]]></ti.ew:seo-deck>
			 <ti.ew:tout-deck><![CDATA[Candice Glover and Kree Harrison both prompt Keith Urban to throw up his gospel hand in the season 12 finals]]></ti.ew:tout-deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-deck><![CDATA[Candice Glover and Kree Harrison both prompt Keith Urban to throw up his gospel hand in the season 12 finals]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-deck>			 
			 
			 <ti.ew:story><![CDATA[Kree Harrison and Candice Glover sang their hearts -- and guts! -- out during Wednesday's hour-long performance finale in three rounds: Simon Fuller's Pick, Coronation Single, and Repeat of a Favorite Performance. Candice, who certainly Has Something <em></em> if you catch my drift, finished things out with a raging showstopper. Aw, Kree. I say that 1) because I can't believe I'm going to have to stop typing such a fun nonsense word -- "Kree" -- so often after tonight, and 2) because WHY WOULD SHE CHOOSE TO GO FIRST?

Well, let's have the top 2 ladies explain it. As Ryan flipped the coin last week, Kree actually whispered to Candice to ask, <em>while it was spinning</em>, which position she preferred, and Candice was like "I don't know? Second?" So Kree just obliged! "That's Kree. Every day," <a href="http://insidetv.ew.com/2013/05/16/american-idol-season-12-backstagefinals/" target="_blank">Candice told EW</a> after the finals. "She doesn't think about herself at all. She puts everyone before herself." And Kree weighed in: "I think it comes down to the singing, the connection. The order doesn't matter." [<a href="http://insidetv.ew.com/2013/05/16/american-idol-season-12-backstagefinals/" target="_blank">Read more.</a>]

Ryan Seacrest mercifully kept things moving by checking in with only two judges at a time at the end of the first two rounds. That was cool, right? They're all goners anyway, most likely, so why even bother? The exchanges were more like conversations this way, instead of the usual set of rehearsed speeches -- and every conversation ended right on time for a commercial break. Lovely!

<strong>SIMON FULLER'S PICK
</strong>

<strong>Kree, Sarah McLachlan's "Angel":</strong> <em>Idol</em> has always been very subtle in its onstage imagery, and the giant blue wings hovering around Kree's shoulders as she sang this late-'90s weeper were no exception. Was that supposed to represent an angel, maybe? I don't know what to think! This wasn't the strongest start Kree could have made -- some of her tonal variations to the original seemed off, and at times neither she nor the accompaniment seemed to have a handle on what the timing should be.

I did agree with Mariah that a delicate lyrical delivery can really work for Kree; I just don't know if "Angel" was the best venue for that.

On a superficial but nonetheless important note, this was Kree's boobiest performance to date.

Just felt like documenting this exceedingly awkward moment for Ryan!

<a href="http://ewtvrecaps.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/screen-shot-2013-05-15-at-5-57-54-pm.png"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-33277" alt="Screen Shot 2013-05-15 at 5.57.54 PM" src="http://ewtvrecaps.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/screen-shot-2013-05-15-at-5-57-54-pm.png?w=300" width="300" height="216" /></a>

GLORIA WANTS IT, RYAN.

<strong>NEXT: The Coronation Songs -- Kree's Emotional Instability vs. Candice's Body Image Issues!</strong> <strong>Candice, Adele's "Chasing Pavements":</strong> As usual, Candice did as much as she could with a shortened version of a really, really, really popular song. If she'd been given free range and a few more minutes, this could have been a major end-of-show moment for her. I liked the huge power run she threw in before the softer, pleading "Should I just...keep on..." and the extra, upward-lilting "Nowhere...." she tacked onto the end.

Randy said that unlike Kree in round 1, Candice at least tried to "make something more" of the song, and he and Mariah both complimented Candice's lower register: "So rangy!" I swear, watching Randy and Mariah attempt to basically say the same thing was like the best mediocre <em>SNL</em> "Garth and Kat" sketch ever.

<strong>CORONATION SINGLE
</strong>

<strong>Kree, "All Cried Out":</strong> I totally agreed with Nicki that this song made Kree "reach down in her gut" to showcase seemingly a new part of her voice. I actually got really excited for her that this could be her own song -- there was a fire in her eyes I haven't seen much when she does straight covers. At first the title and lyrics struck me as very agenda-based (we're supposed to think Kree has undergone major strides in "emotionally connecting to the audience"! blah), but the bottom line is that she sang the heck out of this song and the tune itself is at least musically a good fit for her style and voice.

<strong>Candice, "I Am Beautiful":</strong> The content of this song, too, struck me as heavy-handed, especially after the "GURL, you look good, have you lost weight?" reign of body image terror Nicki Minaj has recently inflicted upon the gorgeous-as-she-ever-was Candice. I guess that was a bigger plot in Candice's character development than I'd realized? That she needs to think she's beautiful? Eh. I'm not gonna harp too much on this because the coronation singles are always cheesy and these two songs were way better than some of the messes we've witnessed over the years. But overall this round played out like a big ol' flashing-lights marquee: "Welcome to the #IdolFinale! It's HEAVYSET CANDICE vs STILL VERY SAD KREE!"

"It makes so much sense for Candice to sing that," said Nicki. "It fits her like a glover," said Keith. Keith!

<strong>NEXT: I'll miss Keith Urban's violent, appreciative lean-backs most of all</strong> <strong>REPEAT OF A FAVORITE PERFORMANCE
</strong>

<strong>Kree, Patty Griffin's "Up to the Mountain":</strong> Yes! This reprise of Kree's standout effort from the Vegas round was just what she needed to close out the night (before Candice would swoop in and REALLY close it out). Kree looked stunning in that flowy red dress and didn't need to put on any airs or access any foreign energy from deep inside -- the two sets of backup singers and swelling orchestra were there to do that for her. Which is not to take away from Kree's alternating strong and subtle vocals. I just mean this was the perfect type of song for which Kree should be a frontwoman.

It was nice. Not mind-blowing, but a great moment for her. "That right there is a winning performance," Randy said, just in case.

<strong>Candice, Shirley Bassey's "I (Who Have Nothing)": </strong>YES! The finals were just fine up until this point -- but when Candice drawled out the ENTIRE first verse of this song <em>a cap-freaking-pella</em>, I finally felt like oh, thank God, someone is desperate to win this thing. Candice wants it, Ryan! And that majestic build at the end was just... well... why am I even trying to describe it in words?

<em>SEASON 12 IN 6 SECONDS, RIGHT?!</em>



<em>Source: <a href="https://vine.co/v/bEerVDW7vEW" target="_blank">Vine</a></em>

Overall on the night, I didn't think there was a blatant dud in the lineup (Kree's "Angel" was sleepy, but come on, so is that song). But after Candice's incredible final crescendo. I'd say the more deserving winner is clear. To borrow on Candice's most powerful note of the night, there's no "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY" she should lose this.

Kree is a finely tuned, consistent performer who can go far in the real world, but Candice can put on one hell of a SHOW in reality TV land. Her vocal gymnastics are just insane. And contrary to what the judges suggested over the course of the season, I see no reason she couldn't sell a soul record in the style of Adele.

<strong>Who's got your vote? </strong>See you back here tonight for the season 12 finale!

<strong>RELATED:
<a href="http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20312226_20700604,00.html" target="_blank">Where does 'Kree vs. Candice' fall among the best 'Idol' finale matchups ever?</a></strong>

<a class="twitter-follow-button" href="https://twitter.com/EWAnnieBarrett">Follow @EWAnnieBarrett</a>

<strong>Read more:</strong><strong></strong><a href="http://bit.ly/YzhByR" target="_blank"><strong>
</strong></a><a href="http://bit.ly/YzhByR" target="_blank">Randy Jackson's top 10 'American Idol' legacies</a><strong>
</strong><a href="http://bit.ly/14lI7QL" target="_blank">'American Idol': Are the judges to blame for decline?</a><strong>
</strong><a href="http://insidetv.ew.com/2013/05/09/american-idol-top-three-performances-backstage/" target="_blank">Top 3 night: How the ladies REALLY felt about song choices<strong></strong><strong></strong></a><a href="http://bit.ly/14lI7QL" target="_blank"><strong>
</strong></a><a href="http://bit.ly/Va5C67" target="_blank">All 'American Idol' recaps on EW.com</a>
<a href="http://bit.ly/Rer0rM" target="_blank">Mariah Carey gets the Nicki Minaj phone call: An 'Up Out My Face' dramatization</a>]]></ti.ew:story>
			 <ti.ew:seo-story><![CDATA[Kree Harrison and Candice Glover sang their hearts -- and guts! -- out during Wednesday's hour-long performance finale in three rounds: Simon Fuller's Pick, Coronation Single, and Repeat of a Favorite Performance. Candice, who certainly Has Something  if you catch my drift, finished things out with a raging showstopper. Aw, Kree. I say that 1) because I can't believe I'm going to have to stop typing such a fun nonsense word -- "Kree" -- so often after tonight, and 2) because WHY WOULD SHE CHOOSE TO GO FIRST?

Well, let's have the top 2 ladies explain it. As Ryan flipped the coin last week, Kree actually whispered to Candice to ask, while it was spinning, which position she preferred, and Candice was like "I don't know? Second?" So Kree just obliged! "That's Kree. Every day," Candice told EW after the finals. "She doesn't think about herself at all. She puts everyone before herself." And Kree weighed in: "I think it comes down to the singing, the connection. The order doesn't matter." [Read more.]

Ryan Seacrest mercifully kept things moving by checking in with only two judges at a time at the end of the first two rounds. That was cool, right? They're all goners anyway, most likely, so why even bother? The exchanges were more like conversations this way, instead of the usual set of rehearsed speeches -- and every conversation ended right on time for a commercial break. Lovely!

SIMON FULLER'S PICK


Kree, Sarah McLachlan's "Angel": Idol has always been very subtle in its onstage imagery, and the giant blue wings hovering around Kree's shoulders as she sang this late-'90s weeper were no exception. Was that supposed to represent an angel, maybe? I don't know what to think! This wasn't the strongest start Kree could have made -- some of her tonal variations to the original seemed off, and at times neither she nor the accompaniment seemed to have a handle on what the timing should be.

I did agree with Mariah that a delicate lyrical delivery can really work for Kree; I just don't know if "Angel" was the best venue for that.

On a superficial but nonetheless important note, this was Kree's boobiest performance to date.

Just felt like documenting this exceedingly awkward moment for Ryan!



GLORIA WANTS IT, RYAN.

NEXT: The Coronation Songs -- Kree's Emotional Instability vs. Candice's Body Image Issues! Candice, Adele's "Chasing Pavements": As usual, Candice did as much as she could with a shortened version of a really, really, really popular song. If she'd been given free range and a few more minutes, this could have been a major end-of-show moment for her. I liked the huge power run she threw in before the softer, pleading "Should I just...keep on..." and the extra, upward-lilting "Nowhere...." she tacked onto the end.

Randy said that unlike Kree in round 1, Candice at least tried to "make something more" of the song, and he and Mariah both complimented Candice's lower register: "So rangy!" I swear, watching Randy and Mariah attempt to basically say the same thing was like the best mediocre SNL "Garth and Kat" sketch ever.

CORONATION SINGLE


Kree, "All Cried Out": I totally agreed with Nicki that this song made Kree "reach down in her gut" to showcase seemingly a new part of her voice. I actually got really excited for her that this could be her own song -- there was a fire in her eyes I haven't seen much when she does straight covers. At first the title and lyrics struck me as very agenda-based (we're supposed to think Kree has undergone major strides in "emotionally connecting to the audience"! blah), but the bottom line is that she sang the heck out of this song and the tune itself is at least musically a good fit for her style and voice.

Candice, "I Am Beautiful": The content of this song, too, struck me as heavy-handed, especially after the "GURL, you look good, have you lost weight?" reign of body image terror Nicki Minaj has recently inflicted upon the gorgeous-as-she-ever-was Candice. I guess that was a bigger plot in Candice's character development than I'd realized? That she needs to think she's beautiful? Eh. I'm not gonna harp too much on this because the coronation singles are always cheesy and these two songs were way better than some of the messes we've witnessed over the years. But overall this round played out like a big ol' flashing-lights marquee: "Welcome to the #IdolFinale! It's HEAVYSET CANDICE vs STILL VERY SAD KREE!"

"It makes so much sense for Candice to sing that," said Nicki. "It fits her like a glover," said Keith. Keith!

NEXT: I'll miss Keith Urban's violent, appreciative lean-backs most of all REPEAT OF A FAVORITE PERFORMANCE


Kree, Patty Griffin's "Up to the Mountain": Yes! This reprise of Kree's standout effort from the Vegas round was just what she needed to close out the night (before Candice would swoop in and REALLY close it out). Kree looked stunning in that flowy red dress and didn't need to put on any airs or access any foreign energy from deep inside -- the two sets of backup singers and swelling orchestra were there to do that for her. Which is not to take away from Kree's alternating strong and subtle vocals. I just mean this was the perfect type of song for which Kree should be a frontwoman.

It was nice. Not mind-blowing, but a great moment for her. "That right there is a winning performance," Randy said, just in case.

Candice, Shirley Bassey's "I (Who Have Nothing)": YES! The finals were just fine up until this point -- but when Candice drawled out the ENTIRE first verse of this song a cap-freaking-pella, I finally felt like oh, thank God, someone is desperate to win this thing. Candice wants it, Ryan! And that majestic build at the end was just... well... why am I even trying to describe it in words?

SEASON 12 IN 6 SECONDS, RIGHT?!



Source: Vine

Overall on the night, I didn't think there was a blatant dud in the lineup (Kree's "Angel" was sleepy, but come on, so is that song). But after Candice's incredible final crescendo. I'd say the more deserving winner is clear. To borrow on Candice's most powerful note of the night, there's no "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY" she should lose this.

Kree is a finely tuned, consistent performer who can go far in the real world, but Candice can put on one hell of a SHOW in reality TV land. Her vocal gymnastics are just insane. And contrary to what the judges suggested over the course of the season, I see no reason she couldn't sell a soul record in the style of Adele.

Who's got your vote? See you back here tonight for the season 12 finale!

RELATED:
Where does 'Kree vs. Candice' fall among the best 'Idol' finale matchups ever?

Follow @EWAnnieBarrett

Read more:
Randy Jackson's top 10 'American Idol' legacies
'American Idol': Are the judges to blame for decline?
Top 3 night: How the ladies REALLY felt about song choices
All 'American Idol' recaps on EW.com
Mariah Carey gets the Nicki Minaj phone call: An 'Up Out My Face' dramatization]]></ti.ew:seo-story>
			 
			 <ti.ew:episode-type>Regular Episode</ti.ew:episode-type>
			
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword><![CDATA[American Idol]]></ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword>TV</ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[American Idol]]></ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[American Idol]]></ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name><![CDATA[American Idol]]></ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name><![CDATA[American Idol]]></ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name>
			 
			 
			 
			 <guid><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/american-idol-season-12-finas-candice-glover-kree-harrison/]]></guid>
			 <category><![CDATA[TV]]></category>
			 <title type="html"><![CDATA['American Idol' recap: Kreedom and the Candy Girl]]></title>
			 
			 <description type="html"><![CDATA[Candice Glover and Kree Harrison both prompt Keith Urban to throw up his gospel hand in the season 12 finals]]></description>
			 <link><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/american-idol-season-12-finas-candice-glover-kree-harrison/]]></link>
			 <pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 16 May 2013 01:45:14 -0400 ]]></pubDate>
			 <author><![CDATA[Annie Barrett]]></author>			 
			 <ti.ew:excerpt type="html"><![CDATA[Kree Harrison and Candice Glover sang their hearts -- and guts! -- out during Wednesday's hour-long performance finale in three rounds: Simon Fuller's Pick, Coronation Single, and Repeat of a Favorite Performance. Candice, who certainly Has Something  if you catch my drift, finished things out with a raging showstopper. Aw, Kree. I say that 1) because I can't believe I'm going to have to stop typing such a fun nonsense word -- "Kree" -- so often after tonight, and 2) because WHY WOULD SHE CHOOSE TO GO FIRST?

Well, let's have the top 2 ladies explain it. As Ryan flipped ......]]></ti.ew:excerpt>
			 <ti.ew:copyright type="html"><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></ti.ew:copyright>
			 <ti.ew:series><![CDATA[American Idol]]></ti.ew:series>
			 <tvSeries><![CDATA[American Idol]]></tvSeries>
			 
			 <utcDate><![CDATA[1368668714]]></utcDate>
			 <postID><![CDATA[33236]]></postID>
			 
			 <ti.ew:airdate>Wed, 15 May 2013 00:00:00 +0000</ti.ew:airdate>
			 <ti.ew:airdate-formatted>May 15</ti.ew:airdate-formatted>
			 <ti.ew:content-type>Recap</ti.ew:content-type>
			 <ti.ew:channel>TV</ti.ew:channel>
			 <ti.ew:community-section-name>TV Watch</ti.ew:community-section-name>
			 <ti.ew:eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:eyebrow>			
			 <ti.ew:network><![CDATA[Fox]]></ti.ew:network>
			 <tvNetwork><![CDATA[Fox]]></tvNetwork>
			
			 <ti.ew:communityCommentsID>tvr_33236</ti.ew:communityCommentsID>
			 <ti.ew:community-resource-id>tvr_33236</ti.ew:community-resource-id>			
			 <commentBoardId>tvr_33236</commentBoardId>
			 
			 <viewerLink></viewerLink>
			
			 <ti.ew:hilite><![CDATA[Wed, May 15 | Fox]]></ti.ew:hilite>
			 
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			 <ti.ew:thumbnail.large url="" width="175" height="175"></ti.ew:thumbnail.large>
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			 <thumbnail175x175></thumbnail175x175>
			 <thumbnail196x134>http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2013/05/15/Candice-Glover-Idol-Finale_196x134.jpg</thumbnail196x134>
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			 <thumbnail320x240>http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2013/05/15/Candice-Glover-Idol-Finale_320x240.jpg</thumbnail320x240>
			 <thumbnail380x380>http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2013/05/15/Candice-Glover-Idol-Finale_380x380.jpg</thumbnail380x380>
			 <thumbnail612x380>http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2013/05/15/Candice-Glover-Idol-Finale_612x380.jpg</thumbnail612x380>
			 
			 <ti.ew:image-credit><![CDATA[Fox]]></ti.ew:image-credit>
			 
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-credit>Fox</ti.ew:image-seo-credit>
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-caption>BABY YOU'RE A FIREWORK "Come on, Candice, lemme simulate tomorrow's confetti shower." --crafty Idol producers</ti.ew:image-seo-caption>
			 
			 <ti.ew:media>TV</ti.ew:media>
			 
			 <ti.ew:starship>NO</ti.ew:starship>
			 <ti.ew:grade>--</ti.ew:grade>
			 
			 <ti.ew:genre>Reality TV</ti.ew:genre>
			 <ti.ew:episode>Episode 36</ti.ew:episode>
			 <ti.ew:season>Season 12</ti.ew:season>			
			 
						 <media:group>
			  <media:content url="http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2013/05/15/Candice-Glover-Idol-Finale_320x240.jpg" isDefault="true" expression="full" width="320" height="240"></media:content>
			  			  			  			  <media:thumbnail url="http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2013/05/15/Candice-Glover-Idol-Finale_100x100.jpg" width="100" height="100"></media:thumbnail>
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			  <media:credit role="photographer"><![CDATA[Fox]]></media:credit>
			  <media:copyright><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></media:copyright>
			  <media:caption type="html"><![CDATA[<p><strong>BABY YOU'RE A FIREWORK</strong> "Come on, Candice, lemme simulate tomorrow's confetti shower." --crafty <em>Idol</em> producers</p>]]></media:caption>
			 </media:group>
						
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			<item>
			
			 <ti.ew:blog>TV Recaps</ti.ew:blog>
			 <ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>
			 <ti.ew:headline><![CDATA['Arrow' season finale recap: The Final Countdown]]></ti.ew:headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-headline><![CDATA['Arrow' season finale recap: The Final Countdown]]></ti.ew:seo-headline>
			 <ti.ew:headline-sort><![CDATA[Arrow' season finale recap: The Final Countdown]]></ti.ew:headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:headline-a>A</ti.ew:headline-a>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline><![CDATA['Arrow' season finale recap: The Final Countdown]]></ti.ew:tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-headline><![CDATA['Arrow' season finale recap: The Final Countdown]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-sort><![CDATA[Arrow season finale recap: The Final Countdown]]></ti.ew:tout-headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-a>A</ti.ew:tout-headline-a>
			 
			 <ti.ew:deck><![CDATA[In which there's a whole lot of destruction and a death that no one saw coming]]></ti.ew:deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-deck><![CDATA[In which there's a whole lot of destruction and a death that no one saw coming]]></ti.ew:seo-deck>
			 <ti.ew:tout-deck><![CDATA[In which there's a whole lot of destruction and a death that no one saw coming]]></ti.ew:tout-deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-deck><![CDATA[In which there's a whole lot of destruction and a death that no one saw coming]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-deck>			 
			 
			 <ti.ew:story><![CDATA[When I interviewed <em>Arrow</em> exec producers Mark Guggenheim and Andrew Kreisberg recently, they said that tonight's finale was more like a feature film. They weren't kidding.

From terrific action sequences to some incredibly poignant moments, the episode wrapped up this season's most pivotal storylines <em>and</em> set the stage for a stellar season 2 in a way that was both cinematic and substantial. Oh and of course, thanks to the final scene, absolutely shocking. (Now, before you read the next sentence, remember I'm writing this from the perspective of someone who has not read the comics. For those of you who have an idea of where this arc is headed, please keep spoilers to a minimum in the comments. Speculation however is totally welcome).

I knew someone was going to die in the finale, but not once did I think it would be Tommy. Thea? Sure. Lance? Why not! Moira? Maybe. But Tommy?! Well played, writers. Well played.

Don't worry. The death will be discussed in detail below, but first let's back up to the start of the episode...

After a brief flashback showing Oliver on the raft with his dad post-shipwreck, the episode cuts to Starling City, where our vigilante is chained to a ceiling and yes, shirtless. (Go ahead. Take a look. It'll be a few months before you see those abs again). Since discovering Oliver's hooded identity, Malcolm has decided to hold him hostage and sell him on his form of vengeance. Oliver however isn't exactly the easiest customer. The two are at an impasse, though it doesn't really matter because Malcolm is convinced he's winning either way. He thinks Oliver is a weak opponent because he doesn't know what he's fighting for or what he's willing to sacrifice. Before he (literally) leaves Oliver hanging, Malcolm promises that no one will be able to stop his plan to level the Glades -- not even the vigilante.

<strong>Flashback to the Island:</strong> Oliver stabs Fyers' minion just as he's about to launch the missile that's supposed to take down the commercial airliner (and consequently, China's economy). But he's not swift enough. The missile is on its way.

In Starling City, Oliver decides he's done being tied up. He flips himself upside down and works his way up the metal chain latching him to the ceiling until it releases. He ends up landing on his spine and it looks PAINFUL. (This stunt was great, but did it make anyone else cringe? I definitely felt like it was <em>my</em> spine hitting the floor).

Of course, he doesn't get to make a clean getaway. Oliver is accosted by Malcolm's men on his way out. Luckily, Diggle -- who found Oliver through a tracking device latched inside his boot (it came in handy!) -- arrives on the scene just in time.
<div>

The two head back to the hideaway, where Diggle tells Oliver that Felicity discovered the design schematics of the earthquake generator. In other words, they can shut it down, <em>if</em> they can find it.

Speaking of Felicity, she gets taken into custody by Det. Lance, who wants to know all about her hacking "hobby." He connects her to the Hood, but before he can make any headway he's interrupted by a call from Arrow, who tells him about Malcolm's plans to level the Glades. Lance realizes that a certain blonde IT girl is the least of his concerns, and lets Felicity go. Before she leaves, however, Felicity gets unnecessarily teary eyed and tells Lance that Arrow is truly a hero or whatever. Couldn't she have just made an awkward comment? I like her so much more when she's not emo.

<strong>NEXT: Oliver tells Tommy about Malcolm's plan to demolish the Glades...</strong>


So, what's Tommy been doing since he saw his ex-girlfriend and ex-bestfriend getting it on? Drowning his sorrows in alcohol, obviously. Tommy rages at Oliver (and deservedly so) for betraying him, but Ollie doesn't have time to tend his wounds. He gives Tommy a half-hearted apology and then moves on to a topic that's <em>slightly</em> more important: the impending destruction of the Glades. He tells Tommy about Malcolm's plans, but his pleas are ignored. Instead, Tommy tells Oliver that he wishes he had died on the island. After watching this scene, I was that much more convinced that Tommy was going to tip over to the dark side by the end of the episode. Weren't you?

<strong>Flashback to the Island:</strong> Though Oliver, Slade and Shado are in combat with Fyers' men, they manage to reprogram the missile. The only problem? It gets redirected toward the island. Oops!

Back in Starling City, Lance gets suspended for telling his boss they should clear out the Glades because Arrow said so. Okay Lance, I admit it, you're growing on me.

At the Queen Mansion, Oliver tells Moira they must to stop The Undertaking, but she's too scared -- or should I say selfish? -- to act. While they argue about the right thing to do, Malcolm calls Moira to tell her that he has decided to accelerate his plan to demolish the Glades. He wants the Undertaking to happen that night. Why he'd tell Moira this after knowing her son, Oliver, is the Hood, is beyond me, but all right.

Meanwhile, Laurel shows up at Oliver's house. She wants to know why he left without saying goodbye. Is she being insecure? Slightly. But given their history, it's more than warranted. Oliver calms Laurel down and tells her that she's the only one who always saw him for who he truly is. They kiss. She cries. Wait, why is she crying? Isn't this supposed to be a happy moment for them? Maybe I'm just heartless.

Cut to what might just be the best -- and certainly most cinematic (at least on an emotional level) scene in the episode: A still drunk Tommy tells his dad that Laurel left him for Oliver. Then he says that Oliver also accused Malcolm of trying to level the Glades. So crazy, right dad? Ha ha...um, wait what? Malcolm makes Tommy listen to a voicemail his mother left while she was dying. (In case you need a refresher, Malcolm wants to level the Glades because his darling wife -- who opened a clinic there -- was robbed and left to die on the street). Tommy is devastated and begs his father to stop playing the voicemail.

Meanwhile, Felicity has figured out that the earthquake machine is positioned underground. Oliver realizes he knows where it's hidden -- it's situated near where Tommy's mother died.

<strong>NEXT: Moira comes clean and gets arrested...</strong>


At the Queen Mansion, Moira decides to hold a press conference. Apparently, Oliver's chat about doing the right thing actually got through to her. She tells reporters that she has "failed this city" (way to steal Arrow's line, Moira!), and admits to her role in The Undertaking. She tells the press that the architect behind The Undertaking is Malcolm and offers proof that he's killed dozens in pursuit of his madness. She includes her husband and Frank (though, to be fair, her husband committed suicide and she was the one who put a target on Frank's back. But, whatever, technicalities, right?).

Why is every scene with Thea always so absurd? Before Moira is hauled away by the police, Thea angrily confronts her about The Undertaking. She just doesn't understand how her mother could want to destroy a place where her boyfriend (of what, two weeks?) lives. ANY OTHER PLACE MOM, BUT NOT WHERE ROY LIVES! Okay, so maybe that's not exactly what she meant, but still, her reaction was ridiculous. I know she's a lovesick teenager and all, but come on!

Malcolm shows a still-in-shock Tommy his Dark Archer suit, but he's interrupted by the arrival of a handful of cops. (Again, why wouldn't you send an entire task force to deal with a man who is planning to destroy a portion of a city??!). Malcolm easily kills the police officers, while Tommy begs him to stop. With no other option, Tommy picks up a gun and aims at his dad. Here, I was <em>convinced</em> that Tommy was going to kill Malcolm, and later, in despair, embrace the Dark Archer suit, but once again, I was completely wrong. Malcolm knocks Tommy out.

At the hideaway, Oliver asks Diggle to deactivate the device, while he goes after Malcolm. Diggle, however, refuses to let Oliver go alone. Felicity says she'll deal with the device but Oliver orders her to leave the Glades. He doesn't want to put her at risk, but she insists on helping. They end up compromising. Oliver asks Lance to go after the device and tells him that Felicity will walk him through the process.

Meanwhile, everyone is trying to get out of the Glades. Well, everyone except Roy, who hears about the chaos happening outside his door on the news. Late to the party much?

<strong>Flashback to the Island:</strong> The island is destroyed after the missile hits, but Oliver and Slade make it out okay. Unfortunately, so does Fyers, who takes Shado hostage. Oliver uses a newly discovered bow and arrow to take aim at Fyers. Shado gives him the go ahead to shoot, and he does. Turns out all of those water slapping lessons were pretty effective. Oliver doesn't miss.

In Starling City, Oliver and Diggle arrive at Malcolm's office where they see Tommy. Tommy admits that Oliver was right about his father. He asks Oliver if he plans to kill Malcolm, but Oliver doesn't give him a straight answer. Meanwhile, Diggle discovers a false wall. He and Oliver step inside and find Malcolm waiting for them. He says he wants Oliver and Diggle to watch their city die. They, however, would rather watch Malcolm die. They try to fight him, but he's too quick. Malcolm ends up stabbing Diggle in the shoulder.

Meanwhile, Lance locates the device and realizes he has only seven minutes to disarm it.

Cut to the Glades where Roy spots some hoodlums who are up to no good. Naturally, Arrow 2.0 <em>has</em> to get involved. He takes out a few of the men, when the leader of the pack pulls a gun on him. Before the man can do any harm though, Thea knocks him from behind with a glass bottle. It's pretty bad ass, but don't worry, she'll go back to being annoying <em>really</em> soon.

Meanwhile, Felicity and Lance inadvertently trigger an anti-tampering alarm that speeds up the detonation of the device. Now, they've only got two minutes to go before the Glades goes under. While Felicity tries to figure out a solution, a panicked Lance calls Laurel and tells her he's not going to make it and then begs her to leave her office in the Glades immediately. Leave it to Laurel to ignore her father's dying wish.

And now for the most ridiculous moment of the night... Roy and Thea are on their way out of the Glades, when she starts yelling at him for texting and driving. "You do know how dangerous it is to text and drive right?! It can wait!" Look, I agree. No one should text and drive, but was this scene <em>really</em> necessary? Shouldn't she be yelling about the impending earthquake instead? Whatever. Their escape is stopped short when Roy spots a man trapped between two vehicles. The man needs help getting out, and Roy <em>obviously</em> has to play hero again. He decides to stay and help the man while Thea drives off to safety. Does she make it? Does he? Do they reunite? Do I care? I might have if this scene wasn't so contrived.

Okay, now back to the real action: Arrow and the Dark Archer go head-to-head on the roof of Malcolm's office. Once again, it seems like the Dark Archer has the upper hand. He's seconds away from snapping Oliver's neck, when Oliver suddenly spots a stray arrow and pushes it right through Malcolm's chest.
<div>

Meanwhile, Lance manages to disarm the device. So, all is well, right? Not exactly. A dying Malcolm tells Oliver that there's <em>another</em> device. A back-up plan if you will. And it's too late for anyone to stop it. Oliver and a very injured Diggle watch from the roof as half the city is leveled.
<div>

We see Laurel get knocked down inside CNRI. (Did anyone else <del>hope</del> think she wasn't going to make it?). She's stranded underneath the rubble and begging for help. Oliver rushes to her rescue, but he's not the one who saves her. Tommy gets there first and pulls her to safety. He promises he's right behind her, but when she turns around the building collapses.

Oliver goes inside and finds Tommy, who knows he's not going to make it. He asks Oliver if he killed Malcolm, and Oliver tells him he didn't. Before he dies, Tommy apologizes to Oliver for being a bad friend.

As Tommy slips away, Oliver loses it. He thinks he should have been the one to die. But wait a minute, back-up, did Tommy really just die?!

Writers, you win. All season we've been led to believe that Tommy would go to the dark side in the finale, but instead, this episode proved to be his redemption. Not only is this a great twist, but it's a bold move. The show didn't need another do-gooder, and leaving the episode with Tommy suddenly stepping into the Dark Archer suit would have been both predictable and underwhelming -- and this finale was better than that. Much better than that. Here's to closing out the season right.

Now, time for your comments. What did you think of this episode? Were you as shocked as I was about Tommy's death? Will the writers find a way to bring Tommy back (I personally hope not. It would ruin the greatness of this twist)? Where does this leave Oliver?

</div>
</div>
</div>]]></ti.ew:story>
			 <ti.ew:seo-story><![CDATA[When I interviewed Arrow exec producers Mark Guggenheim and Andrew Kreisberg recently, they said that tonight's finale was more like a feature film. They weren't kidding.

From terrific action sequences to some incredibly poignant moments, the episode wrapped up this season's most pivotal storylines and set the stage for a stellar season 2 in a way that was both cinematic and substantial. Oh and of course, thanks to the final scene, absolutely shocking. (Now, before you read the next sentence, remember I'm writing this from the perspective of someone who has not read the comics. For those of you who have an idea of where this arc is headed, please keep spoilers to a minimum in the comments. Speculation however is totally welcome).

I knew someone was going to die in the finale, but not once did I think it would be Tommy. Thea? Sure. Lance? Why not! Moira? Maybe. But Tommy?! Well played, writers. Well played.

Don't worry. The death will be discussed in detail below, but first let's back up to the start of the episode...

After a brief flashback showing Oliver on the raft with his dad post-shipwreck, the episode cuts to Starling City, where our vigilante is chained to a ceiling and yes, shirtless. (Go ahead. Take a look. It'll be a few months before you see those abs again). Since discovering Oliver's hooded identity, Malcolm has decided to hold him hostage and sell him on his form of vengeance. Oliver however isn't exactly the easiest customer. The two are at an impasse, though it doesn't really matter because Malcolm is convinced he's winning either way. He thinks Oliver is a weak opponent because he doesn't know what he's fighting for or what he's willing to sacrifice. Before he (literally) leaves Oliver hanging, Malcolm promises that no one will be able to stop his plan to level the Glades -- not even the vigilante.

Flashback to the Island: Oliver stabs Fyers' minion just as he's about to launch the missile that's supposed to take down the commercial airliner (and consequently, China's economy). But he's not swift enough. The missile is on its way.

In Starling City, Oliver decides he's done being tied up. He flips himself upside down and works his way up the metal chain latching him to the ceiling until it releases. He ends up landing on his spine and it looks PAINFUL. (This stunt was great, but did it make anyone else cringe? I definitely felt like it was my spine hitting the floor).

Of course, he doesn't get to make a clean getaway. Oliver is accosted by Malcolm's men on his way out. Luckily, Diggle -- who found Oliver through a tracking device latched inside his boot (it came in handy!) -- arrives on the scene just in time.


The two head back to the hideaway, where Diggle tells Oliver that Felicity discovered the design schematics of the earthquake generator. In other words, they can shut it down, if they can find it.

Speaking of Felicity, she gets taken into custody by Det. Lance, who wants to know all about her hacking "hobby." He connects her to the Hood, but before he can make any headway he's interrupted by a call from Arrow, who tells him about Malcolm's plans to level the Glades. Lance realizes that a certain blonde IT girl is the least of his concerns, and lets Felicity go. Before she leaves, however, Felicity gets unnecessarily teary eyed and tells Lance that Arrow is truly a hero or whatever. Couldn't she have just made an awkward comment? I like her so much more when she's not emo.

NEXT: Oliver tells Tommy about Malcolm's plan to demolish the Glades...


So, what's Tommy been doing since he saw his ex-girlfriend and ex-bestfriend getting it on? Drowning his sorrows in alcohol, obviously. Tommy rages at Oliver (and deservedly so) for betraying him, but Ollie doesn't have time to tend his wounds. He gives Tommy a half-hearted apology and then moves on to a topic that's slightly more important: the impending destruction of the Glades. He tells Tommy about Malcolm's plans, but his pleas are ignored. Instead, Tommy tells Oliver that he wishes he had died on the island. After watching this scene, I was that much more convinced that Tommy was going to tip over to the dark side by the end of the episode. Weren't you?

Flashback to the Island: Though Oliver, Slade and Shado are in combat with Fyers' men, they manage to reprogram the missile. The only problem? It gets redirected toward the island. Oops!

Back in Starling City, Lance gets suspended for telling his boss they should clear out the Glades because Arrow said so. Okay Lance, I admit it, you're growing on me.

At the Queen Mansion, Oliver tells Moira they must to stop The Undertaking, but she's too scared -- or should I say selfish? -- to act. While they argue about the right thing to do, Malcolm calls Moira to tell her that he has decided to accelerate his plan to demolish the Glades. He wants the Undertaking to happen that night. Why he'd tell Moira this after knowing her son, Oliver, is the Hood, is beyond me, but all right.

Meanwhile, Laurel shows up at Oliver's house. She wants to know why he left without saying goodbye. Is she being insecure? Slightly. But given their history, it's more than warranted. Oliver calms Laurel down and tells her that she's the only one who always saw him for who he truly is. They kiss. She cries. Wait, why is she crying? Isn't this supposed to be a happy moment for them? Maybe I'm just heartless.

Cut to what might just be the best -- and certainly most cinematic (at least on an emotional level) scene in the episode: A still drunk Tommy tells his dad that Laurel left him for Oliver. Then he says that Oliver also accused Malcolm of trying to level the Glades. So crazy, right dad? Ha ha...um, wait what? Malcolm makes Tommy listen to a voicemail his mother left while she was dying. (In case you need a refresher, Malcolm wants to level the Glades because his darling wife -- who opened a clinic there -- was robbed and left to die on the street). Tommy is devastated and begs his father to stop playing the voicemail.

Meanwhile, Felicity has figured out that the earthquake machine is positioned underground. Oliver realizes he knows where it's hidden -- it's situated near where Tommy's mother died.

NEXT: Moira comes clean and gets arrested...


At the Queen Mansion, Moira decides to hold a press conference. Apparently, Oliver's chat about doing the right thing actually got through to her. She tells reporters that she has "failed this city" (way to steal Arrow's line, Moira!), and admits to her role in The Undertaking. She tells the press that the architect behind The Undertaking is Malcolm and offers proof that he's killed dozens in pursuit of his madness. She includes her husband and Frank (though, to be fair, her husband committed suicide and she was the one who put a target on Frank's back. But, whatever, technicalities, right?).

Why is every scene with Thea always so absurd? Before Moira is hauled away by the police, Thea angrily confronts her about The Undertaking. She just doesn't understand how her mother could want to destroy a place where her boyfriend (of what, two weeks?) lives. ANY OTHER PLACE MOM, BUT NOT WHERE ROY LIVES! Okay, so maybe that's not exactly what she meant, but still, her reaction was ridiculous. I know she's a lovesick teenager and all, but come on!

Malcolm shows a still-in-shock Tommy his Dark Archer suit, but he's interrupted by the arrival of a handful of cops. (Again, why wouldn't you send an entire task force to deal with a man who is planning to destroy a portion of a city??!). Malcolm easily kills the police officers, while Tommy begs him to stop. With no other option, Tommy picks up a gun and aims at his dad. Here, I was convinced that Tommy was going to kill Malcolm, and later, in despair, embrace the Dark Archer suit, but once again, I was completely wrong. Malcolm knocks Tommy out.

At the hideaway, Oliver asks Diggle to deactivate the device, while he goes after Malcolm. Diggle, however, refuses to let Oliver go alone. Felicity says she'll deal with the device but Oliver orders her to leave the Glades. He doesn't want to put her at risk, but she insists on helping. They end up compromising. Oliver asks Lance to go after the device and tells him that Felicity will walk him through the process.

Meanwhile, everyone is trying to get out of the Glades. Well, everyone except Roy, who hears about the chaos happening outside his door on the news. Late to the party much?

Flashback to the Island: The island is destroyed after the missile hits, but Oliver and Slade make it out okay. Unfortunately, so does Fyers, who takes Shado hostage. Oliver uses a newly discovered bow and arrow to take aim at Fyers. Shado gives him the go ahead to shoot, and he does. Turns out all of those water slapping lessons were pretty effective. Oliver doesn't miss.

In Starling City, Oliver and Diggle arrive at Malcolm's office where they see Tommy. Tommy admits that Oliver was right about his father. He asks Oliver if he plans to kill Malcolm, but Oliver doesn't give him a straight answer. Meanwhile, Diggle discovers a false wall. He and Oliver step inside and find Malcolm waiting for them. He says he wants Oliver and Diggle to watch their city die. They, however, would rather watch Malcolm die. They try to fight him, but he's too quick. Malcolm ends up stabbing Diggle in the shoulder.

Meanwhile, Lance locates the device and realizes he has only seven minutes to disarm it.

Cut to the Glades where Roy spots some hoodlums who are up to no good. Naturally, Arrow 2.0 has to get involved. He takes out a few of the men, when the leader of the pack pulls a gun on him. Before the man can do any harm though, Thea knocks him from behind with a glass bottle. It's pretty bad ass, but don't worry, she'll go back to being annoying really soon.

Meanwhile, Felicity and Lance inadvertently trigger an anti-tampering alarm that speeds up the detonation of the device. Now, they've only got two minutes to go before the Glades goes under. While Felicity tries to figure out a solution, a panicked Lance calls Laurel and tells her he's not going to make it and then begs her to leave her office in the Glades immediately. Leave it to Laurel to ignore her father's dying wish.

And now for the most ridiculous moment of the night... Roy and Thea are on their way out of the Glades, when she starts yelling at him for texting and driving. "You do know how dangerous it is to text and drive right?! It can wait!" Look, I agree. No one should text and drive, but was this scene really necessary? Shouldn't she be yelling about the impending earthquake instead? Whatever. Their escape is stopped short when Roy spots a man trapped between two vehicles. The man needs help getting out, and Roy obviously has to play hero again. He decides to stay and help the man while Thea drives off to safety. Does she make it? Does he? Do they reunite? Do I care? I might have if this scene wasn't so contrived.

Okay, now back to the real action: Arrow and the Dark Archer go head-to-head on the roof of Malcolm's office. Once again, it seems like the Dark Archer has the upper hand. He's seconds away from snapping Oliver's neck, when Oliver suddenly spots a stray arrow and pushes it right through Malcolm's chest.


Meanwhile, Lance manages to disarm the device. So, all is well, right? Not exactly. A dying Malcolm tells Oliver that there's another device. A back-up plan if you will. And it's too late for anyone to stop it. Oliver and a very injured Diggle watch from the roof as half the city is leveled.


We see Laurel get knocked down inside CNRI. (Did anyone else hope think she wasn't going to make it?). She's stranded underneath the rubble and begging for help. Oliver rushes to her rescue, but he's not the one who saves her. Tommy gets there first and pulls her to safety. He promises he's right behind her, but when she turns around the building collapses.

Oliver goes inside and finds Tommy, who knows he's not going to make it. He asks Oliver if he killed Malcolm, and Oliver tells him he didn't. Before he dies, Tommy apologizes to Oliver for being a bad friend.

As Tommy slips away, Oliver loses it. He thinks he should have been the one to die. But wait a minute, back-up, did Tommy really just die?!

Writers, you win. All season we've been led to believe that Tommy would go to the dark side in the finale, but instead, this episode proved to be his redemption. Not only is this a great twist, but it's a bold move. The show didn't need another do-gooder, and leaving the episode with Tommy suddenly stepping into the Dark Archer suit would have been both predictable and underwhelming -- and this finale was better than that. Much better than that. Here's to closing out the season right.

Now, time for your comments. What did you think of this episode? Were you as shocked as I was about Tommy's death? Will the writers find a way to bring Tommy back (I personally hope not. It would ruin the greatness of this twist)? Where does this leave Oliver?



]]></ti.ew:seo-story>
			 
			 <ti.ew:episode-type>Regular Episode</ti.ew:episode-type>
			
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword><![CDATA[Arrow]]></ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword>TV</ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[Arrow]]></ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name>
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			 <ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name><![CDATA[Arrow]]></ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name><![CDATA[Arrow]]></ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name>
			 
			 
			 
			 <guid><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/arrow-season-1-episode-23/]]></guid>
			 <category><![CDATA[TV]]></category>
			 <title type="html"><![CDATA['Arrow' season finale recap: The Final Countdown]]></title>
			 
			 <description type="html"><![CDATA[In which there's a whole lot of destruction and a death that no one saw coming]]></description>
			 <link><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/arrow-season-1-episode-23/]]></link>
			 <pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 16 May 2013 00:55:09 -0400 ]]></pubDate>
			 <author><![CDATA[Nuzhat Naoreen]]></author>			 
			 <ti.ew:excerpt type="html"><![CDATA[When I interviewed Arrow exec producers Mark Guggenheim and Andrew Kreisberg recently, they said that tonight's finale was more like a feature film. They weren't kidding.

From terrific action sequences to some incredibly poignant moments, the episode wrapped up this season's most pivotal storylines and set the stage for a stellar season 2 in a way that was both cinematic and substantial. Oh and of course, thanks to the final scene, absolutely shocking. (Now, before you read the next sentence, remember I'm writing this from the perspective of someone who has not read the comics. For those of you who have an ......]]></ti.ew:excerpt>
			 <ti.ew:copyright type="html"><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></ti.ew:copyright>
			 <ti.ew:series><![CDATA[Arrow]]></ti.ew:series>
			 <tvSeries><![CDATA[Arrow]]></tvSeries>
			 
			 <utcDate><![CDATA[1368665709]]></utcDate>
			 <postID><![CDATA[33235]]></postID>
			 
			 <ti.ew:airdate>Wed, 15 May 2013 00:00:00 +0000</ti.ew:airdate>
			 <ti.ew:airdate-formatted>May 15</ti.ew:airdate-formatted>
			 <ti.ew:content-type>Recap</ti.ew:content-type>
			 <ti.ew:channel>TV</ti.ew:channel>
			 <ti.ew:community-section-name>TV Watch</ti.ew:community-section-name>
			 <ti.ew:eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:eyebrow>			
			 <ti.ew:network><![CDATA[The CW]]></ti.ew:network>
			 <tvNetwork><![CDATA[The CW]]></tvNetwork>
			
			 <ti.ew:communityCommentsID>tvr_33235</ti.ew:communityCommentsID>
			 <ti.ew:community-resource-id>tvr_33235</ti.ew:community-resource-id>			
			 <commentBoardId>tvr_33235</commentBoardId>
			 
			 <viewerLink></viewerLink>
			
			 <ti.ew:hilite><![CDATA[Wed, May 15 | The CW]]></ti.ew:hilite>
			 
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			 <thumbnail380x380>http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2013/05/15/Arrow_380x380.jpg</thumbnail380x380>
			 <thumbnail612x380>http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2013/05/15/Arrow_612x380.jpg</thumbnail612x380>
			 
			 <ti.ew:image-credit><![CDATA[The CW]]></ti.ew:image-credit>
			 
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-credit>The CW</ti.ew:image-seo-credit>
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-caption>AB FAB Oliver's abs tell me so much about his internal struggles. I wonder if they have their own IMDB page at this point...</ti.ew:image-seo-caption>
			 
			 <ti.ew:media>TV</ti.ew:media>
			 
			 <ti.ew:starship>NO</ti.ew:starship>
			 <ti.ew:grade>--</ti.ew:grade>
			 
			 <ti.ew:genre>ActionAdventure</ti.ew:genre>
			 <ti.ew:episode>Episode </ti.ew:episode>
			 <ti.ew:season>Season 1</ti.ew:season>			
			 
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			  <media:content url="http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2013/05/15/Arrow_320x240.jpg" isDefault="true" expression="full" width="320" height="240"></media:content>
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			  <media:credit role="photographer"><![CDATA[The CW]]></media:credit>
			  <media:copyright><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></media:copyright>
			  <media:caption type="html"><![CDATA[<p><strong>AB FAB </strong>Oliver's abs tell me so much about his internal struggles. I wonder if they have their own IMDB page at this point...</p>]]></media:caption>
			 </media:group>
						
			</item>
						
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			 <ti.ew:blog>TV Recaps</ti.ew:blog>
			 <ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>
			 <ti.ew:headline><![CDATA['So You Think You Can Dance' recap: Too Le-Jit to Quit]]></ti.ew:headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-headline><![CDATA['So You Think You Can Dance' recap: Too Le-Jit to Quit]]></ti.ew:seo-headline>
			 <ti.ew:headline-sort><![CDATA[So You Think You Can Dance' recap: Too Le-Jit to Quit]]></ti.ew:headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:headline-a>S</ti.ew:headline-a>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline><![CDATA['So You Think You Can Dance' recap: Too Le-Jit to Quit]]></ti.ew:tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-headline><![CDATA['So You Think You Can Dance' recap: Too Le-Jit to Quit]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-sort><![CDATA[So You Think You Can Dance recap: Too Le-Jit to Quit]]></ti.ew:tout-headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-a>S</ti.ew:tout-headline-a>
			 
			 <ti.ew:deck><![CDATA[The show heads to Detroit for the first time, where tWitch joins the judges panel and the coaches learn all about jitting and exotic dancing]]></ti.ew:deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-deck><![CDATA[The show heads to Detroit for the first time, where tWitch joins the judges panel and the coaches learn all about jitting and exotic dancing]]></ti.ew:seo-deck>
			 <ti.ew:tout-deck><![CDATA[The show heads to Detroit for the first time, where tWitch joins the judges panel and the coaches learn all about jitting and exotic dancing]]></ti.ew:tout-deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-deck><![CDATA[The show heads to Detroit for the first time, where tWitch joins the judges panel and the coaches learn all about jitting and exotic dancing]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-deck>			 
			 
			 <ti.ew:story><![CDATA[Welcome to Detroit, dance fans! For the first time, <em>So You Think You Can Dance</em> is taking the auditions to the Motor City, where another first will take place: Season 4 favorite (and veteran all-star) tWitch brings his charm, killer abs and adorable glasses to the judges panel. The result is an episode full of impromptu yells, spontaneous dances, and one very memorable lap dance for Ms. Mary Murphy.

The warm-up is over. Cue music!

<strong>JADE ZUBERI, 21</strong>
First up is the animator who wishes to bend reality and take the audience into his illusion. And after a long audition -- strictly because Nigel doesn't want to stop the music -- Jade has won over everyone in the room, particularly tWitch, who "oohs" and "aahs" through the performance and later calls that easily one of the best auditions we've ever seen. Nigel adds a compliment about Jade's waving ability, and Mary thinks Jade is a star at what he does.
<strong>Next stop:</strong> Vegas!

After Jade's killer introduction to Detroit, Nigel gives the other dancers a word of advice: "That's all we need. Something unique. Good luck whoever's following him." And the lucky second dancer is ...

<strong>AMY YAKIMA, 19
</strong>Before Amy can take the stage, she lets the words "dad jazz" slip out of her mouth, which means that she has to make a little room on the stage for her old man. So with Amy in Nigel's seat, dad does a couple step-touches and one rather epic star jump before he turns things back over to his daughter, whom Nigel really hopes is good. Spoiler alert: She is. With her contemporary routine, Amy makes her dad cry and gets all three judges on their feet. Nigel loves her extensions and can't find anything bad about her audition. The hair on Mary's arms went up, which is rare, and tWitch loves both Amy's passion and her textures.
<strong>Next stop:</strong> Vegas!

<strong>NEXT: All about the Detroit Jit</strong>



<strong>MORGAN "MO" WILLIAMS, 22
</strong>After proclaiming that he has better abs than tWitch (six-pack versus tWitch's four-pack -- time for an ab-off!), Mo dedicates his dance to his grandmother, who recently passed away. The result is a gravity-defying contemporary routine that makes Mary "woo" once... or four times. Nigel plays it cool by staying yes to choreography, but Mary quickly screams out, reaches around Nigel, and offers Mo a ticket to the city of sin (in a very cute, planned way).
<strong>Next stop:</strong> Vegas!

Now it's time for one of my favorite parts of this show -- learning new dances! Detroit is all about the Detroit Jit, a homegrown dance style that's built around "fancy footwork, fast feet, fast arms and a lot of attitude." Basically, jitting is Detroit. And from what I can tell, it's a sped-up street style that I will never conquer, but what else is new?

<strong>WILL "SYSKO" GREEN, 27</strong>
Sysko is the lucky man who gets to represent the Detroit Jit in the competition. After a brief history of the dance and a failed attempt at getting Cat Deeley to jit, Sysko gets the judges clapping along with his quick feet and his lively performance. But it's not until after he finishes his audition and mentions he can also hip roll that things get interesting. With his shirt up behind his head and Mary in a chair on the stage, Sysko proves his hip-rolling skills and brings "blood to parts of her body that hasn't been there in years," according to Nigel. Afterward, the boys bring Mary back to the panel, where they fan her and then commend Sysko on his showmanship.
<strong>Next step:</strong> Choreography

During a quick break, Nigel and tWitch discuss how dancers never stop learning, which leads a member in the crowd to challenge tWitch to prove himself. I would like to personally thank that person, because watching tWitch dance is one of my favorite things in the world. Repping season 4, tWitch proves that 1) he knows how to hip roll, and 2) he has a lot more than a four-pack. I love that his shirt says "Come at me bro." I also love that tWitch just had this routine to whip out. Was that freestyle? Ugh, I love this man. Allison Holker is a <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xxvaps_twitch-proposal-to-allison-holker-marry-me-surprise-access-hollywood-2-28-13_lifestyle#.UZRD2aWzDzI">very lucky girl</a>.

<strong>NEXT: The staple contestant you've been waiting for</strong>



<strong>GARRETT FRYE, 26
</strong>Here we go. I was wondering when we would get our first just-for-fun audition. Enter Garrett, the man who defines his own style as "panic and have fun with it." Garrett is just doing him, and half the time, he's not even sure what that is. Up on stage, he tells the judges he will be doing some "hip-hop BUTTT." And now, Garrett boogies down with a forward roll, a very brief headstand, quite a bit of exhaustion, a little hip thrusting, some finger pointing, some jumping jacks, and a little something I like to call The Napster. Garrett gets the judges on their feet, grooving along. But at the end of the day, this is a competition that isn't well-suited for people Mary describes as those who you see dancing crazy in a corner at a wedding.
<strong>Next stop:</strong> Back to dancing as the Statue of Liberty for tax companies

In the choreography round, Sysko is called out on the big choreography no-no of freestyling in the middle of a routine and almost hurting his partner. So as Sysko goes home, eight more dancers get their hands on tickets to Vegas, and day one of Detroit comes to a close.

Sun's up! Time for day two:

<strong>TYRONE COBHAM JR, 18
</strong>The tap dancer who just wants to make his grandmother proud is exactly what the judges have been waiting for. After receiving a standing ovation from the judges, the crowd starts chanting "Vegas" before the judges can even speak. Nigel calls Tyrone "one of the best tappers we've had on the program," and Mary says he's the best tapper the show has had in 10 seasons. After Mary's praise brings tears to Tryone's eyes, tWitch says he wishes he could be as smooth in everyday life as Tyrone just was making music with his feet. Hey, I'm not so sure tWitch can't tap. The man is like a dance god. But back to Tyrone ...
<strong>Next stop:</strong> Vegas!

<strong>NEXT: Invasion of the exotic dancers</strong>



Time for another montage, and this one is centered around family support systems! From the brothers who paint their chests to the grandmother who gets on stage with the judges to do a little Gangnam Style, the lesson is simple: Good support systems lead to Vegas! Well, sometimes. Now let's get to the exotic dancers, shall we?

<strong>DARRYL "SMILEZ" HARRELL, 23</strong>
The first member of his crew to take the stage, Smilez wins the judges over with his jokes about crumping in the womb just before he wins them over with his spiky hat and impressive moves. But before the judges give him any feedback, they want to see all the members of his crew, which means lots of shirtlessness.

*insert montage of less-talented crew members auditioning here*

<strong>DEFONTE "PRINCE CHARMING" THOMAS, 20 </strong>
Rounding out Smilez' crew, Prince Charming loves to dance shirtless for the ladies. Luckily, he's good at what he does. As he starts his routine by lying down onstage, the judges are skeptical, but after all the body rolling, popping, and rhythm, they realize that he's more than just charming. And with the crew back up on the stage, the judges decide to take both Smilez and his Prince through to choreography. However, after a tough round, Smilez heads home. But the Prince is taking his shirtless lady-loving moves to Nevada, along with six other dancers from day two.

So what are your thoughts on Detroit? Should this become a regular stop for the show? And do you love seeing tWtich on the judges panel as much as I do? Honestly, the more tWitch the better -- that's my life motto. Which performance was your favorite of the night? Are you more of an animation addict, a tap-lover, or a contemporary junkie?

Next week, join me in Austin, where Minnie Driver graces the judges panel and Mary's hair seems to explode.

<em>Samantha on Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/samhighfill">@samhighfill</a></em>]]></ti.ew:story>
			 <ti.ew:seo-story><![CDATA[Welcome to Detroit, dance fans! For the first time, So You Think You Can Dance is taking the auditions to the Motor City, where another first will take place: Season 4 favorite (and veteran all-star) tWitch brings his charm, killer abs and adorable glasses to the judges panel. The result is an episode full of impromptu yells, spontaneous dances, and one very memorable lap dance for Ms. Mary Murphy.

The warm-up is over. Cue music!

JADE ZUBERI, 21
First up is the animator who wishes to bend reality and take the audience into his illusion. And after a long audition -- strictly because Nigel doesn't want to stop the music -- Jade has won over everyone in the room, particularly tWitch, who "oohs" and "aahs" through the performance and later calls that easily one of the best auditions we've ever seen. Nigel adds a compliment about Jade's waving ability, and Mary thinks Jade is a star at what he does.
Next stop: Vegas!

After Jade's killer introduction to Detroit, Nigel gives the other dancers a word of advice: "That's all we need. Something unique. Good luck whoever's following him." And the lucky second dancer is ...

AMY YAKIMA, 19
Before Amy can take the stage, she lets the words "dad jazz" slip out of her mouth, which means that she has to make a little room on the stage for her old man. So with Amy in Nigel's seat, dad does a couple step-touches and one rather epic star jump before he turns things back over to his daughter, whom Nigel really hopes is good. Spoiler alert: She is. With her contemporary routine, Amy makes her dad cry and gets all three judges on their feet. Nigel loves her extensions and can't find anything bad about her audition. The hair on Mary's arms went up, which is rare, and tWitch loves both Amy's passion and her textures.
Next stop: Vegas!

NEXT: All about the Detroit Jit



MORGAN "MO" WILLIAMS, 22
After proclaiming that he has better abs than tWitch (six-pack versus tWitch's four-pack -- time for an ab-off!), Mo dedicates his dance to his grandmother, who recently passed away. The result is a gravity-defying contemporary routine that makes Mary "woo" once... or four times. Nigel plays it cool by staying yes to choreography, but Mary quickly screams out, reaches around Nigel, and offers Mo a ticket to the city of sin (in a very cute, planned way).
Next stop: Vegas!

Now it's time for one of my favorite parts of this show -- learning new dances! Detroit is all about the Detroit Jit, a homegrown dance style that's built around "fancy footwork, fast feet, fast arms and a lot of attitude." Basically, jitting is Detroit. And from what I can tell, it's a sped-up street style that I will never conquer, but what else is new?

WILL "SYSKO" GREEN, 27
Sysko is the lucky man who gets to represent the Detroit Jit in the competition. After a brief history of the dance and a failed attempt at getting Cat Deeley to jit, Sysko gets the judges clapping along with his quick feet and his lively performance. But it's not until after he finishes his audition and mentions he can also hip roll that things get interesting. With his shirt up behind his head and Mary in a chair on the stage, Sysko proves his hip-rolling skills and brings "blood to parts of her body that hasn't been there in years," according to Nigel. Afterward, the boys bring Mary back to the panel, where they fan her and then commend Sysko on his showmanship.
Next step: Choreography

During a quick break, Nigel and tWitch discuss how dancers never stop learning, which leads a member in the crowd to challenge tWitch to prove himself. I would like to personally thank that person, because watching tWitch dance is one of my favorite things in the world. Repping season 4, tWitch proves that 1) he knows how to hip roll, and 2) he has a lot more than a four-pack. I love that his shirt says "Come at me bro." I also love that tWitch just had this routine to whip out. Was that freestyle? Ugh, I love this man. Allison Holker is a very lucky girl.

NEXT: The staple contestant you've been waiting for



GARRETT FRYE, 26
Here we go. I was wondering when we would get our first just-for-fun audition. Enter Garrett, the man who defines his own style as "panic and have fun with it." Garrett is just doing him, and half the time, he's not even sure what that is. Up on stage, he tells the judges he will be doing some "hip-hop BUTTT." And now, Garrett boogies down with a forward roll, a very brief headstand, quite a bit of exhaustion, a little hip thrusting, some finger pointing, some jumping jacks, and a little something I like to call The Napster. Garrett gets the judges on their feet, grooving along. But at the end of the day, this is a competition that isn't well-suited for people Mary describes as those who you see dancing crazy in a corner at a wedding.
Next stop: Back to dancing as the Statue of Liberty for tax companies

In the choreography round, Sysko is called out on the big choreography no-no of freestyling in the middle of a routine and almost hurting his partner. So as Sysko goes home, eight more dancers get their hands on tickets to Vegas, and day one of Detroit comes to a close.

Sun's up! Time for day two:

TYRONE COBHAM JR, 18
The tap dancer who just wants to make his grandmother proud is exactly what the judges have been waiting for. After receiving a standing ovation from the judges, the crowd starts chanting "Vegas" before the judges can even speak. Nigel calls Tyrone "one of the best tappers we've had on the program," and Mary says he's the best tapper the show has had in 10 seasons. After Mary's praise brings tears to Tryone's eyes, tWitch says he wishes he could be as smooth in everyday life as Tyrone just was making music with his feet. Hey, I'm not so sure tWitch can't tap. The man is like a dance god. But back to Tyrone ...
Next stop: Vegas!

NEXT: Invasion of the exotic dancers



Time for another montage, and this one is centered around family support systems! From the brothers who paint their chests to the grandmother who gets on stage with the judges to do a little Gangnam Style, the lesson is simple: Good support systems lead to Vegas! Well, sometimes. Now let's get to the exotic dancers, shall we?

DARRYL "SMILEZ" HARRELL, 23
The first member of his crew to take the stage, Smilez wins the judges over with his jokes about crumping in the womb just before he wins them over with his spiky hat and impressive moves. But before the judges give him any feedback, they want to see all the members of his crew, which means lots of shirtlessness.

*insert montage of less-talented crew members auditioning here*

DEFONTE "PRINCE CHARMING" THOMAS, 20 
Rounding out Smilez' crew, Prince Charming loves to dance shirtless for the ladies. Luckily, he's good at what he does. As he starts his routine by lying down onstage, the judges are skeptical, but after all the body rolling, popping, and rhythm, they realize that he's more than just charming. And with the crew back up on the stage, the judges decide to take both Smilez and his Prince through to choreography. However, after a tough round, Smilez heads home. But the Prince is taking his shirtless lady-loving moves to Nevada, along with six other dancers from day two.

So what are your thoughts on Detroit? Should this become a regular stop for the show? And do you love seeing tWtich on the judges panel as much as I do? Honestly, the more tWitch the better -- that's my life motto. Which performance was your favorite of the night? Are you more of an animation addict, a tap-lover, or a contemporary junkie?

Next week, join me in Austin, where Minnie Driver graces the judges panel and Mary's hair seems to explode.

Samantha on Twitter: @samhighfill]]></ti.ew:seo-story>
			 
			 <ti.ew:episode-type>Regular Episode</ti.ew:episode-type>
			
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword><![CDATA[So You Think You Can Dance]]></ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword>TV</ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[So You Think You Can Dance]]></ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[So You Think You Can Dance]]></ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name><![CDATA[So You Think You Can Dance]]></ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name><![CDATA[So You Think You Can Dance]]></ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name>
			 
			 
			 
			 <guid><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/so-you-think-you-can-dance-season-10-episode-2/]]></guid>
			 <category><![CDATA[TV]]></category>
			 <title type="html"><![CDATA['So You Think You Can Dance' recap: Too Le-Jit to Quit]]></title>
			 
			 <description type="html"><![CDATA[The show heads to Detroit for the first time, where tWitch joins the judges panel and the coaches learn all about jitting and exotic dancing]]></description>
			 <link><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/so-you-think-you-can-dance-season-10-episode-2/]]></link>
			 <pubDate><![CDATA[Thu, 16 May 2013 00:23:26 -0400 ]]></pubDate>
			 <author><![CDATA[Samantha Highfill]]></author>			 
			 <ti.ew:excerpt type="html"><![CDATA[Welcome to Detroit, dance fans! For the first time, So You Think You Can Dance is taking the auditions to the Motor City, where another first will take place: Season 4 favorite (and veteran all-star) tWitch brings his charm, killer abs and adorable glasses to the judges panel. The result is an episode full of impromptu yells, spontaneous dances, and one very memorable lap dance for Ms. Mary Murphy.

The warm-up is over. Cue music!

JADE ZUBERI, 21
First up is the animator who wishes to bend reality and take the audience into his illusion. And after a long audition -- strictly because ......]]></ti.ew:excerpt>
			 <ti.ew:copyright type="html"><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></ti.ew:copyright>
			 <ti.ew:series><![CDATA[So You Think You Can Dance]]></ti.ew:series>
			 <tvSeries><![CDATA[So You Think You Can Dance]]></tvSeries>
			 
			 <utcDate><![CDATA[1368663806]]></utcDate>
			 <postID><![CDATA[33241]]></postID>
			 
			 <ti.ew:airdate>Wed, 15 May 2013 00:00:00 +0000</ti.ew:airdate>
			 <ti.ew:airdate-formatted>May 15</ti.ew:airdate-formatted>
			 <ti.ew:content-type>Recap</ti.ew:content-type>
			 <ti.ew:channel>TV</ti.ew:channel>
			 <ti.ew:community-section-name>TV Watch</ti.ew:community-section-name>
			 <ti.ew:eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:eyebrow>			
			 <ti.ew:network><![CDATA[Fox]]></ti.ew:network>
			 <tvNetwork><![CDATA[Fox]]></tvNetwork>
			
			 <ti.ew:communityCommentsID>tvr_33241</ti.ew:communityCommentsID>
			 <ti.ew:community-resource-id>tvr_33241</ti.ew:community-resource-id>			
			 <commentBoardId>tvr_33241</commentBoardId>
			 
			 <viewerLink></viewerLink>
			
			 <ti.ew:hilite><![CDATA[Wed, May 15 | Fox]]></ti.ew:hilite>
			 
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			 <thumbnail196x134>http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2013/05/15/SYTYCD-Jade-Zuberi_196x134.jpg</thumbnail196x134>
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			 <ti.ew:image-credit><![CDATA[Fox]]></ti.ew:image-credit>
			 
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-credit>Fox</ti.ew:image-seo-credit>
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-caption>STRIKE A POSE 21-year-old animator Jade Zuberi kicks off the first-ever Detriot auditions with what tWitch calls one of the best tryouts of all time.</ti.ew:image-seo-caption>
			 
			 <ti.ew:media>TV</ti.ew:media>
			 
			 <ti.ew:starship>NO</ti.ew:starship>
			 <ti.ew:grade>--</ti.ew:grade>
			 
			 <ti.ew:genre>Reality TV</ti.ew:genre>
			 <ti.ew:episode>Episode 02</ti.ew:episode>
			 <ti.ew:season>Season 10</ti.ew:season>			
			 
						 <media:group>
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			  <media:credit role="photographer"><![CDATA[Fox]]></media:credit>
			  <media:copyright><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></media:copyright>
			  <media:caption type="html"><![CDATA[<p><strong>STRIKE A POSE</strong> 21-year-old animator Jade Zuberi kicks off the first-ever Detriot auditions with what tWitch calls one of the best tryouts of all time.</p>]]></media:caption>
			 </media:group>
						
			</item>
						
			<item>
			
			 <ti.ew:blog>TV Recaps</ti.ew:blog>
			 <ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>
			 <ti.ew:headline><![CDATA['So You Think You Can Dance' season premiere recap: Expect The Unexpected]]></ti.ew:headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-headline><![CDATA['So You Think You Can Dance' season premiere recap: Expect The Unexpected]]></ti.ew:seo-headline>
			 <ti.ew:headline-sort><![CDATA[So You Think You Can Dance' season premiere recap: Expect The Unexpected]]></ti.ew:headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:headline-a>S</ti.ew:headline-a>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline><![CDATA['So You Think You Can Dance' season premiere recap: Expect The Unexpected]]></ti.ew:tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-headline><![CDATA['So You Think You Can Dance' season premiere recap: Expect The Unexpected]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-sort><![CDATA[So You Think You Can Dance season premiere recap: Expect The Unexpected]]></ti.ew:tout-headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-a>S</ti.ew:tout-headline-a>
			 
			 <ti.ew:deck><![CDATA[Season 10 kicks off in the City of Angels, complete with street dancing, ballroom champions, and one dislocated knee]]></ti.ew:deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-deck><![CDATA[Season 10 kicks off in the City of Angels, complete with street dancing, ballroom champions, and one dislocated knee]]></ti.ew:seo-deck>
			 <ti.ew:tout-deck><![CDATA[Season 10 kicks off in the City of Angels, complete with street dancing, ballroom champions, and one dislocated knee]]></ti.ew:tout-deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-deck><![CDATA[Season 10 kicks off in the City of Angels, complete with street dancing, ballroom champions, and one dislocated knee]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-deck>			 
			 
			 <ti.ew:story><![CDATA[<em>So You Think You Can Dance</em> is back for season 10, and it's full of montages, inspirational stories, one foreign rapper, and more montages. But we should probably get right into things. Cat Deeley waits for no one!

After the hour's first montage, which involves former contestants reliving the stress of first auditions, Mary and Nigel take the stage with our favorite quirky ginger of a guest judge, <em>Modern Family</em>'s Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Cat quickly reminds everyone how things work: Each dancer gets one audition. If the judges don't like them, they go home. If the judges want to see more of them, they advance to the choreography round. And if the judges love them bunches and bunches, they get a ticket straight through to the next round in none other than Las Vegas. First up, a street performer...

<strong>DO-SHAUNT "FIK-SHUN" STEGALL, 18
</strong>A young street performer from Las Vegas, Fik-Shun is just looking for the opportunity to go home. And after popping his way through a mind-boggling performance, a ticket to Las Vegas isn't the only thing he gets. Technically, the judges offer him three tickets to Vegas, along with a well-deserved standing ovation (which the rest of the crowd also jumps in on). We'll see you back home, Fik-Shun! In the meantime, can you please come up with an easier way to spell your name?
<strong>Next stop:</strong> Vegas!

Next up, we keep going with the youngins!

<strong>MALECE MILLER, 19
</strong>With a heartbreaking story, a (very loud) supportive mother, and a face like a doll, Malece takes the stage for a contemporary routine. The judges love everything about her. Mary and Nigel agree that she is a cutie pa-tootie, and agree that though there is work to be done, there is so much "right" in Malece. And Jesse? Well, he just loves looking at her. "Is that weird?" he asks. Maybe just a little.
<strong>Next stop:</strong> Vegas!

Time for another montage of all the great dancers we don't get to see. But at least we do get to see what happens next, when the winner of <em>So You Think You Can Dance Armenia</em> (it's a real thing!) takes the stage.

<strong>PAUL KARMIRYAN, 21</strong>
The Armenian champ takes on a Latin ballroom routine that is more fun than anything. His feet are faster than his hips, and his hips are pretty darn fast. I love him. The judges love him. Nigel even says that he reminds him of Benji! It's not surprising that the judges want to see more of this former champ.
<strong>Next stop:</strong> Vegas!

<strong>NEXT: A neck tutu and a slow-motion injury</strong>


<strong>ELIJAH LAURANT, 20</strong>
At first glance, Elijah looks to me like the out-of-this-world, hard-to-watch audition of the night. However, he turns out to be a very talented man who just so happens to wear a tutu around his neck to help his body move in ways human bodies wouldn't be able to move. How could I have ever second-guessed him, right? I know. I'm ashamed. But in the end, all that matters is that Nigel is picking up what Elijah is putting down, and that is an androgynous performance. Mary won't forget his audition, and Jesse comments on his ability to make viewers feel something.
<strong>Next stop:</strong> Vegas!

In our next montage, we get a screaming contest -- have you guys missed Mary Murphy? -- a Japanese horror movie reference -- have you guys missed Nigel Lythgoe? -- and a war dance -- have you guys missed this show?

<strong>TAYLOR WARD, 20</strong>
The tomboy from California who played softball her whole life up until just a bit ago, Taylor tells us an emotional story about her grandfather passing recently. Then, just before she goes out on stage, she dislocates her knee rehearsing. And we have to watch it ... multiple times ... IN SLOW MOTION. Never again, <em>So You Think You Can Dance</em>. Never. Again.
Luckily, Taylor's knee pops itself back in (she has loose joints; it's NBD), which we also get to watch multiple times, and she takes the stage in what the judges call a beautiful and effortless performance.
<strong>Next stop:</strong> Choreography

<strong>MORRIS ISBY, 28</strong>
No <em>SYTYCD</em> episode is complete without a good b-boy, and Morris claims to be one of the best in LA. It quickly becomes clear that he has the skills to back up that claim, and the judges are impressed with his audition, as is Cyrus, who is in the crowd cheering him on! Did anybody else really want Cyrus to get up onstage and show everyone how it's done?! Maybe a little <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6yXlUFuuFs">something like this</a>?!
Back to Morris, the judges think he's excellent at what he does and love how exciting he is.
<strong>Next stop:</strong> Choreography

<strong>NEXT: A rapper does ballroom</strong>



Insert street-dancing montage here.

<strong>ARMEN "ARMEN WAY" AVETISOV, 27</strong>
The Russian(?) -- what is that accent -- rapper gives us a glimpse at some of his music videos, which predictably involve cars and women in bikinis, before taking the stage to perform a little ballroom. Not-so-predictably, he's actually really good. Those toes could not be more pointed, and those hips do not lie. Simply put, Mary loves him.
<strong>Next stop:</strong> Vegas!

Time for another <em>SYTYCD</em> staple: Tonight's inspirational story features three brothers. After the loss of their dad, two brothers started heading down a dark path when the older brother returned (are they actually related?) to help get them back on track. Now, the brothers run The Great Relaters (spelled with 8's and things to be cool), which teaches the positive influence of hip-hop to kids. And when all three take the stage (though only two are technically auditioning), the brothers look to spread their message to children everywhere.

<strong>ERIC AND LORENZO CHAPMAN, 21 &amp; 22</strong>
These guys are cool. Not only are their moves a lot better than I expected, but it's always fun to watch someone who genuinely loves what they're doing. And the judges agree that they want more. That being said, they're not quite the right fit for the show, but Nigel pledges that if the "program" can do anything to help, they're happy to. Is he a man of his word? I guess we'll see.
<strong>Next stop:</strong> Back home to inspire children

In the choreography round, Taylor and her dislocated knee make their way to Vegas. But sadly, b-boy Morris Isby won't be joining her.

At the end of the day, 10 more dancers are through to the Vegas rounds. I will see you all tonight when our favorite golden boy (with equally golden abs) hits the judging panel for the first time! In the meantime, who were your favorites of the premiere?

<em>Samantha on Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/samhighfill">@samhighfill</a></em>]]></ti.ew:story>
			 <ti.ew:seo-story><![CDATA[So You Think You Can Dance is back for season 10, and it's full of montages, inspirational stories, one foreign rapper, and more montages. But we should probably get right into things. Cat Deeley waits for no one!

After the hour's first montage, which involves former contestants reliving the stress of first auditions, Mary and Nigel take the stage with our favorite quirky ginger of a guest judge, Modern Family's Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Cat quickly reminds everyone how things work: Each dancer gets one audition. If the judges don't like them, they go home. If the judges want to see more of them, they advance to the choreography round. And if the judges love them bunches and bunches, they get a ticket straight through to the next round in none other than Las Vegas. First up, a street performer...

DO-SHAUNT "FIK-SHUN" STEGALL, 18
A young street performer from Las Vegas, Fik-Shun is just looking for the opportunity to go home. And after popping his way through a mind-boggling performance, a ticket to Las Vegas isn't the only thing he gets. Technically, the judges offer him three tickets to Vegas, along with a well-deserved standing ovation (which the rest of the crowd also jumps in on). We'll see you back home, Fik-Shun! In the meantime, can you please come up with an easier way to spell your name?
Next stop: Vegas!

Next up, we keep going with the youngins!

MALECE MILLER, 19
With a heartbreaking story, a (very loud) supportive mother, and a face like a doll, Malece takes the stage for a contemporary routine. The judges love everything about her. Mary and Nigel agree that she is a cutie pa-tootie, and agree that though there is work to be done, there is so much "right" in Malece. And Jesse? Well, he just loves looking at her. "Is that weird?" he asks. Maybe just a little.
Next stop: Vegas!

Time for another montage of all the great dancers we don't get to see. But at least we do get to see what happens next, when the winner of So You Think You Can Dance Armenia (it's a real thing!) takes the stage.

PAUL KARMIRYAN, 21
The Armenian champ takes on a Latin ballroom routine that is more fun than anything. His feet are faster than his hips, and his hips are pretty darn fast. I love him. The judges love him. Nigel even says that he reminds him of Benji! It's not surprising that the judges want to see more of this former champ.
Next stop: Vegas!

NEXT: A neck tutu and a slow-motion injury


ELIJAH LAURANT, 20
At first glance, Elijah looks to me like the out-of-this-world, hard-to-watch audition of the night. However, he turns out to be a very talented man who just so happens to wear a tutu around his neck to help his body move in ways human bodies wouldn't be able to move. How could I have ever second-guessed him, right? I know. I'm ashamed. But in the end, all that matters is that Nigel is picking up what Elijah is putting down, and that is an androgynous performance. Mary won't forget his audition, and Jesse comments on his ability to make viewers feel something.
Next stop: Vegas!

In our next montage, we get a screaming contest -- have you guys missed Mary Murphy? -- a Japanese horror movie reference -- have you guys missed Nigel Lythgoe? -- and a war dance -- have you guys missed this show?

TAYLOR WARD, 20
The tomboy from California who played softball her whole life up until just a bit ago, Taylor tells us an emotional story about her grandfather passing recently. Then, just before she goes out on stage, she dislocates her knee rehearsing. And we have to watch it ... multiple times ... IN SLOW MOTION. Never again, So You Think You Can Dance. Never. Again.
Luckily, Taylor's knee pops itself back in (she has loose joints; it's NBD), which we also get to watch multiple times, and she takes the stage in what the judges call a beautiful and effortless performance.
Next stop: Choreography

MORRIS ISBY, 28
No SYTYCD episode is complete without a good b-boy, and Morris claims to be one of the best in LA. It quickly becomes clear that he has the skills to back up that claim, and the judges are impressed with his audition, as is Cyrus, who is in the crowd cheering him on! Did anybody else really want Cyrus to get up onstage and show everyone how it's done?! Maybe a little something like this?!
Back to Morris, the judges think he's excellent at what he does and love how exciting he is.
Next stop: Choreography

NEXT: A rapper does ballroom



Insert street-dancing montage here.

ARMEN "ARMEN WAY" AVETISOV, 27
The Russian(?) -- what is that accent -- rapper gives us a glimpse at some of his music videos, which predictably involve cars and women in bikinis, before taking the stage to perform a little ballroom. Not-so-predictably, he's actually really good. Those toes could not be more pointed, and those hips do not lie. Simply put, Mary loves him.
Next stop: Vegas!

Time for another SYTYCD staple: Tonight's inspirational story features three brothers. After the loss of their dad, two brothers started heading down a dark path when the older brother returned (are they actually related?) to help get them back on track. Now, the brothers run The Great Relaters (spelled with 8's and things to be cool), which teaches the positive influence of hip-hop to kids. And when all three take the stage (though only two are technically auditioning), the brothers look to spread their message to children everywhere.

ERIC AND LORENZO CHAPMAN, 21 &amp; 22
These guys are cool. Not only are their moves a lot better than I expected, but it's always fun to watch someone who genuinely loves what they're doing. And the judges agree that they want more. That being said, they're not quite the right fit for the show, but Nigel pledges that if the "program" can do anything to help, they're happy to. Is he a man of his word? I guess we'll see.
Next stop: Back home to inspire children

In the choreography round, Taylor and her dislocated knee make their way to Vegas. But sadly, b-boy Morris Isby won't be joining her.

At the end of the day, 10 more dancers are through to the Vegas rounds. I will see you all tonight when our favorite golden boy (with equally golden abs) hits the judging panel for the first time! In the meantime, who were your favorites of the premiere?

Samantha on Twitter: @samhighfill]]></ti.ew:seo-story>
			 
			 <ti.ew:episode-type>Regular Episode</ti.ew:episode-type>
			
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword><![CDATA[So You Think You Can Dance]]></ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword>TV</ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[So You Think You Can Dance]]></ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[So You Think You Can Dance]]></ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name><![CDATA[So You Think You Can Dance]]></ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name><![CDATA[So You Think You Can Dance]]></ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name>
			 
			 
			 
			 <guid><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/so-you-think-you-can-dance-season-10-episode-1/]]></guid>
			 <category><![CDATA[TV]]></category>
			 <title type="html"><![CDATA['So You Think You Can Dance' season premiere recap: Expect The Unexpected]]></title>
			 
			 <description type="html"><![CDATA[Season 10 kicks off in the City of Angels, complete with street dancing, ballroom champions, and one dislocated knee]]></description>
			 <link><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/so-you-think-you-can-dance-season-10-episode-1/]]></link>
			 <pubDate><![CDATA[Wed, 15 May 2013 02:00:25 -0400 ]]></pubDate>
			 <author><![CDATA[Samantha Highfill]]></author>			 
			 <ti.ew:excerpt type="html"><![CDATA[So You Think You Can Dance is back for season 10, and it's full of montages, inspirational stories, one foreign rapper, and more montages. But we should probably get right into things. Cat Deeley waits for no one!

After the hour's first montage, which involves former contestants reliving the stress of first auditions, Mary and Nigel take the stage with our favorite quirky ginger of a guest judge, Modern Family's Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Cat quickly reminds everyone how things work: Each dancer gets one audition. If the judges don't like them, they go home. If the judges want to see more ......]]></ti.ew:excerpt>
			 <ti.ew:copyright type="html"><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></ti.ew:copyright>
			 <ti.ew:series><![CDATA[So You Think You Can Dance]]></ti.ew:series>
			 <tvSeries><![CDATA[So You Think You Can Dance]]></tvSeries>
			 
			 <utcDate><![CDATA[1368583225]]></utcDate>
			 <postID><![CDATA[33183]]></postID>
			 
			 <ti.ew:airdate>Tue, 14 May 2013 00:00:00 +0000</ti.ew:airdate>
			 <ti.ew:airdate-formatted>May 14</ti.ew:airdate-formatted>
			 <ti.ew:content-type>Recap</ti.ew:content-type>
			 <ti.ew:channel>TV</ti.ew:channel>
			 <ti.ew:community-section-name>TV Watch</ti.ew:community-section-name>
			 <ti.ew:eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:eyebrow>			
			 <ti.ew:network><![CDATA[Fox]]></ti.ew:network>
			 <tvNetwork><![CDATA[Fox]]></tvNetwork>
			
			 <ti.ew:communityCommentsID>tvr_33183</ti.ew:communityCommentsID>
			 <ti.ew:community-resource-id>tvr_33183</ti.ew:community-resource-id>			
			 <commentBoardId>tvr_33183</commentBoardId>
			 
			 <viewerLink></viewerLink>
			
			 <ti.ew:hilite><![CDATA[Tue, May 14 | Fox]]></ti.ew:hilite>
			 
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			 <ti.ew:image-credit><![CDATA[Mathieu Young/FOX]]></ti.ew:image-credit>
			 
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-credit>Mathieu Young/FOX</ti.ew:image-seo-credit>
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-caption>THREESOME Host Cat Deeley reunites with judges Nigel Lythgoe and Mary Murphy for season 10 of the hit dance competition.</ti.ew:image-seo-caption>
			 
			 <ti.ew:media>TV</ti.ew:media>
			 
			 <ti.ew:starship>NO</ti.ew:starship>
			 <ti.ew:grade>--</ti.ew:grade>
			 
			 <ti.ew:genre>Reality TV</ti.ew:genre>
			 <ti.ew:episode>Episode 01</ti.ew:episode>
			 <ti.ew:season>Season 10</ti.ew:season>			
			 
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			  <media:credit role="photographer"><![CDATA[Mathieu Young/FOX]]></media:credit>
			  <media:copyright><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></media:copyright>
			  <media:caption type="html"><![CDATA[<p><strong>THREESOME</strong> Host Cat Deeley reunites with judges Nigel Lythgoe and Mary Murphy for season 10 of the hit dance competition.</p>]]></media:caption>
			 </media:group>
						
			</item>
						
			<item>
			
			 <ti.ew:blog>TV Recaps</ti.ew:blog>
			 <ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>
			 <ti.ew:headline><![CDATA['Dancing With the Stars' recap: 300th Time&#039;s the Charm]]></ti.ew:headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-headline><![CDATA['Dancing With the Stars' recap: 300th Time&#039;s the Charm]]></ti.ew:seo-headline>
			 <ti.ew:headline-sort><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars' recap: 300th Time&#039;s the Charm]]></ti.ew:headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:headline-a>D</ti.ew:headline-a>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline><![CDATA['Dancing With the Stars' recap: 300th Time&#039;s the Charm]]></ti.ew:tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-headline><![CDATA['Dancing With the Stars' recap: 300th Time&#039;s the Charm]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-sort><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars recap: 300th Time&#039;s the Charm]]></ti.ew:tout-headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-a>D</ti.ew:tout-headline-a>
			 
			 <ti.ew:deck><![CDATA[The right couple heads home as Planet Mirrorballus celebrates its 300th episode; we all fall a little more in love with Sharna and Gleb]]></ti.ew:deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-deck><![CDATA[The right couple heads home as Planet Mirrorballus celebrates its 300th episode; we all fall a little more in love with Sharna and Gleb]]></ti.ew:seo-deck>
			 <ti.ew:tout-deck><![CDATA[The right couple heads home as Planet Mirrorballus celebrates its 300th episode; we all fall a little more in love with Sharna and Gleb]]></ti.ew:tout-deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-deck><![CDATA[The right couple heads home as Planet Mirrorballus celebrates its 300th episode; we all fall a little more in love with Sharna and Gleb]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-deck>			 
			 
			 <ti.ew:story><![CDATA[Season 16 has been truly crazy in that each week, the right person has gone home. It's unheard of! Quite frankly it freaks me out!

<strong>Dapper Ingo Rademacher and Flapper Kym Johnson</strong> waltzed away from Planet Mirrorballus -- frame intact! -- on tonight's results show, which was also the 300th episode of <em>Dancing With the Stars</em>. Ohhhh. So <em>that's</em> where the best years of my life have gone -- disintegrated into the shimmery ether, never to be seen again. Oh well! Could be worse. I could be reporting liiiiiive from Earth instead. How awful!

As the lowest-scorer this week, Ingo completely expected his elimination. Truth be told, he thought he'd be outta there long ago. Sometimes he said "within the first two weeks," and once he said "on Week 4." Whatever! Making it to the semifinals was a surprise for the German-born, Australian-raised, Hawaiian-by-marriage soap star who looks absolutely fabulous in pink.

Ingo's ballroom legacy includes a few very decent dances, multiple memories of him lookin' hot in either pink or Just a Vest, and possibly the cutest kid to ever sit on the edge of the Rectagon: Peanut, the Tot-emacher. (Some of you have mentioned that in German, this nickname carries undertones of death. I still don't care! It's so good!)

<strong>Zendaya and Val Chmerkovskiy</strong> joined Ingo and Kym "in jeopardy" but were "not necessarily the bottom two."

<strong>Kellie Pickler and Derek Hough</strong> got the Len-core this week -- I noticed her opening dip-to-the-floor was even more oww-inspiring than <a href="http://bit.ly/10vdWyR" target="_blank">Monday</a>'s, and instead of finishing the Argentine tango clutching Derek's leg from the side, she wrapped her entire body around it from behind. Meaningless details! I like 'em. <strong>Aly Raisman and Mark Ballas</strong> and <strong>Jacoby Jones and Karina Smirnoff</strong> will round out the Final Four. All deserving. Well done, America!

I had two favorite moments tonight -- that amazing group opener choreographed by Jason Gilkison, and the fiercely wind-blown "bedroom dance" (literally, this time) from season 16 breakout stars Gleb Savchenko and Sharna Burgess. I loved singer-songwriter Christina Grimmie's stirring cover of Drake's "Take Care," but what's more, I loved how the dancing never stopped for the sake of cutting away to the musical guest. Her rendition perfectly complemented the dance and it was just such a dynamic, balanced performance.



<em>Source: <a href="https://vine.co/v/bEmB07X3Hqw" target="_blank">Vine</a></em>

I was really FEELING SOME THINGS during this one, as Gleb and Sharna thrashed around, mirroring the white wind-plumped panels that were like the ghosts of their tense relationship (or maybe the ghosts of all of Gleb's past ponytails) catching up to them. That Sharna can really tell a story with her choreography. I'm so glad they're both here.

<em>Exalt her!</em>

<a href="http://instagram.com/p/ZUPvWZhIYH/"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-33225" alt="Screen Shot 2013-05-14 at 7.59.07 PM" src="http://ewtvrecaps.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/screen-shot-2013-05-14-at-7-59-07-pm.png?w=300" width="300" height="281" /></a>

<em>Source: <a href="http://instagram.com/p/ZUPvWZhIYH/" target="_blank">Instagram</a></em>

<em>A whopping 300 episodes down the glittery boob tube and I'm somehow still aliiiiiiiive!</em>

Just wanted to give you an alternate angle to the main recap photo. It's screengrabs like this that remind me why this often inexplicable, absurdly long-running show is so magical.

Awwww.  #SPARKLEBARF

<strong>NEXT: The Top 7 moments of the results show</strong> 

<strong>Annie's Top 7 ("Seh-<em>vehhhhn!</em>") Results Show Moments for Tuesday, May 14, 2013
</strong>

7. Val mentioning his initial disappointment that Zendaya was his partner, and Tom's reminder post-segment: "Val, you don't <em>always</em> have to be honest!"

6. The split-second fear that Peta might pierce her own skull with a backward-lashing high heeled kick during her little pre-commercial jaunt with Dmitry

5. Ten-year-old pirouette phenom Sophia Lucia's reaction to the blondes: "OMG. It's Chelsie Hightower and three other girls!"

4. "It all sounds better with an accent." --Tom's brilliant way of breaking the ice after The Wanted's well-intentioned but jilted delivery of rehearsed lines about hungry American kids. (Visit <a href="http://www.childhungerendshere.com/" target="_blank">childhungerendshere.com</a> to learn more.)

3. "What's great is I'm deaf, dumb, and have no memory." --Carrie Ann Inaba

2. The Cheryl Burke/Louis Van Amstel pairing: A <em>DWTS</em> classic!

1. Aly's sparkly-bangle kleptomania. I admire her so much more now. She's right -- there are hundreds of them just wasting away in a saturated rainbow up in wardrobe. Wouldn't any of us do the same? (I've given away five of my six bangles from my first visit to the show, if you were wondering -- to friends, super-fan guests, and my mom. Worst decisions I've ever made. Aly, you've got the right idea, girl. Hoard dozens in your bag and never let them go!)

*

<strong>Happy with the results show? Discuss!</strong>

<a href="http://bit.ly/15LjQVp"><img title="carrieannimal" alt="07" src="http://ewpopwatch.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/071.jpg" width="330" height="261" /></a>

In the meantime,<strong> <a href="http://bit.ly/15LjQVp" target="_blank"><strong>EW.com's Hidden Gems of the Semifinals</strong></a></strong> await your expert appraisal....<strong></strong>

XOXO,
<a href="http://on.fb.me/QCZaYj" target="_blank">Fringe Fairy</a>

<a class="twitter-follow-button" href="https://twitter.com/EWAnnieBarrett">Follow @EWAnnieBarrett</a>

<strong>Read more:
</strong><a href="http://tvrecaps.ew.com/tv-show/dancing-with-the-stars-2/" target="_blank">All 'DWTS' recaps on EW.com</a>
<a href="http://popwatch.ew.com/tag/hidden-gems-uncategorized/" target="_blank">'DWTS': All Hidden Gems of the Week!</a>
<a href="http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20356896_20687086,00.html" target="_blank">Top 10 'Dancing With the Stars' Pros of All Time -- PHOTOS</a><strong>
</strong><a href="http://bit.ly/Zy46hM" target="_blank">Tristan MacManus tours the 'DWTS' rehearsal space -- EXCLUSIVE VIDEO</a>

<em><a href="http://on.fb.me/QCZaYj" target="_blank">Annie Barrett's 'DWTS' Facebook page</a></em>]]></ti.ew:story>
			 <ti.ew:seo-story><![CDATA[Season 16 has been truly crazy in that each week, the right person has gone home. It's unheard of! Quite frankly it freaks me out!

Dapper Ingo Rademacher and Flapper Kym Johnson waltzed away from Planet Mirrorballus -- frame intact! -- on tonight's results show, which was also the 300th episode of Dancing With the Stars. Ohhhh. So that's where the best years of my life have gone -- disintegrated into the shimmery ether, never to be seen again. Oh well! Could be worse. I could be reporting liiiiiive from Earth instead. How awful!

As the lowest-scorer this week, Ingo completely expected his elimination. Truth be told, he thought he'd be outta there long ago. Sometimes he said "within the first two weeks," and once he said "on Week 4." Whatever! Making it to the semifinals was a surprise for the German-born, Australian-raised, Hawaiian-by-marriage soap star who looks absolutely fabulous in pink.

Ingo's ballroom legacy includes a few very decent dances, multiple memories of him lookin' hot in either pink or Just a Vest, and possibly the cutest kid to ever sit on the edge of the Rectagon: Peanut, the Tot-emacher. (Some of you have mentioned that in German, this nickname carries undertones of death. I still don't care! It's so good!)

Zendaya and Val Chmerkovskiy joined Ingo and Kym "in jeopardy" but were "not necessarily the bottom two."

Kellie Pickler and Derek Hough got the Len-core this week -- I noticed her opening dip-to-the-floor was even more oww-inspiring than Monday's, and instead of finishing the Argentine tango clutching Derek's leg from the side, she wrapped her entire body around it from behind. Meaningless details! I like 'em. Aly Raisman and Mark Ballas and Jacoby Jones and Karina Smirnoff will round out the Final Four. All deserving. Well done, America!

I had two favorite moments tonight -- that amazing group opener choreographed by Jason Gilkison, and the fiercely wind-blown "bedroom dance" (literally, this time) from season 16 breakout stars Gleb Savchenko and Sharna Burgess. I loved singer-songwriter Christina Grimmie's stirring cover of Drake's "Take Care," but what's more, I loved how the dancing never stopped for the sake of cutting away to the musical guest. Her rendition perfectly complemented the dance and it was just such a dynamic, balanced performance.



Source: Vine

I was really FEELING SOME THINGS during this one, as Gleb and Sharna thrashed around, mirroring the white wind-plumped panels that were like the ghosts of their tense relationship (or maybe the ghosts of all of Gleb's past ponytails) catching up to them. That Sharna can really tell a story with her choreography. I'm so glad they're both here.

Exalt her!



Source: Instagram

A whopping 300 episodes down the glittery boob tube and I'm somehow still aliiiiiiiive!

Just wanted to give you an alternate angle to the main recap photo. It's screengrabs like this that remind me why this often inexplicable, absurdly long-running show is so magical.

Awwww.  #SPARKLEBARF

NEXT: The Top 7 moments of the results show 

Annie's Top 7 ("Seh-vehhhhn!") Results Show Moments for Tuesday, May 14, 2013


7. Val mentioning his initial disappointment that Zendaya was his partner, and Tom's reminder post-segment: "Val, you don't always have to be honest!"

6. The split-second fear that Peta might pierce her own skull with a backward-lashing high heeled kick during her little pre-commercial jaunt with Dmitry

5. Ten-year-old pirouette phenom Sophia Lucia's reaction to the blondes: "OMG. It's Chelsie Hightower and three other girls!"

4. "It all sounds better with an accent." --Tom's brilliant way of breaking the ice after The Wanted's well-intentioned but jilted delivery of rehearsed lines about hungry American kids. (Visit childhungerendshere.com to learn more.)

3. "What's great is I'm deaf, dumb, and have no memory." --Carrie Ann Inaba

2. The Cheryl Burke/Louis Van Amstel pairing: A DWTS classic!

1. Aly's sparkly-bangle kleptomania. I admire her so much more now. She's right -- there are hundreds of them just wasting away in a saturated rainbow up in wardrobe. Wouldn't any of us do the same? (I've given away five of my six bangles from my first visit to the show, if you were wondering -- to friends, super-fan guests, and my mom. Worst decisions I've ever made. Aly, you've got the right idea, girl. Hoard dozens in your bag and never let them go!)

*

Happy with the results show? Discuss!



In the meantime, EW.com's Hidden Gems of the Semifinals await your expert appraisal....

XOXO,
Fringe Fairy

Follow @EWAnnieBarrett

Read more:
All 'DWTS' recaps on EW.com
'DWTS': All Hidden Gems of the Week!
Top 10 'Dancing With the Stars' Pros of All Time -- PHOTOS
Tristan MacManus tours the 'DWTS' rehearsal space -- EXCLUSIVE VIDEO

Annie Barrett's 'DWTS' Facebook page]]></ti.ew:seo-story>
			 
			 <ti.ew:episode-type>Regular Episode</ti.ew:episode-type>
			
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars]]></ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword>TV</ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars]]></ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars]]></ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars]]></ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars]]></ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name>
			 
			 
			 
			 <guid><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/dwts-ingo-rademacher-kym-johnson-eliminated-300th-episode/]]></guid>
			 <category><![CDATA[TV]]></category>
			 <title type="html"><![CDATA['Dancing With the Stars' recap: 300th Time&#039;s the Charm]]></title>
			 
			 <description type="html"><![CDATA[The right couple heads home as Planet Mirrorballus celebrates its 300th episode; we all fall a little more in love with Sharna and Gleb]]></description>
			 <link><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/dwts-ingo-rademacher-kym-johnson-eliminated-300th-episode/]]></link>
			 <pubDate><![CDATA[Wed, 15 May 2013 01:09:23 -0400 ]]></pubDate>
			 <author><![CDATA[Annie Barrett]]></author>			 
			 <ti.ew:excerpt type="html"><![CDATA[Season 16 has been truly crazy in that each week, the right person has gone home. It's unheard of! Quite frankly it freaks me out!

Dapper Ingo Rademacher and Flapper Kym Johnson waltzed away from Planet Mirrorballus -- frame intact! -- on tonight's results show, which was also the 300th episode of Dancing With the Stars. Ohhhh. So that's where the best years of my life have gone -- disintegrated into the shimmery ether, never to be seen again. Oh well! Could be worse. I could be reporting liiiiiive from Earth instead. How awful!

As the lowest-scorer this week, Ingo completely expected ......]]></ti.ew:excerpt>
			 <ti.ew:copyright type="html"><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></ti.ew:copyright>
			 <ti.ew:series><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars]]></ti.ew:series>
			 <tvSeries><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars]]></tvSeries>
			 
			 <utcDate><![CDATA[1368580163]]></utcDate>
			 <postID><![CDATA[33181]]></postID>
			 
			 <ti.ew:airdate>Tue, 14 May 2013 00:00:00 +0000</ti.ew:airdate>
			 <ti.ew:airdate-formatted>May 14</ti.ew:airdate-formatted>
			 <ti.ew:content-type>Recap</ti.ew:content-type>
			 <ti.ew:channel>TV</ti.ew:channel>
			 <ti.ew:community-section-name>TV Watch</ti.ew:community-section-name>
			 <ti.ew:eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:eyebrow>			
			 <ti.ew:network><![CDATA[ABC]]></ti.ew:network>
			 <tvNetwork><![CDATA[ABC]]></tvNetwork>
			
			 <ti.ew:communityCommentsID>tvr_33181</ti.ew:communityCommentsID>
			 <ti.ew:community-resource-id>tvr_33181</ti.ew:community-resource-id>			
			 <commentBoardId>tvr_33181</commentBoardId>
			 
			 <viewerLink></viewerLink>
			
			 <ti.ew:hilite><![CDATA[Tue, May 14 | ABC]]></ti.ew:hilite>
			 
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			 <thumbnail612x380>http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2013/05/14/DWTS-Recap_612x380.jpg</thumbnail612x380>
			 
			 <ti.ew:image-credit><![CDATA[ABC]]></ti.ew:image-credit>
			 
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-credit>ABC</ti.ew:image-seo-credit>
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-caption>DIAMONDS ARE A PRO'S BEST FRIEND Love lifts Sharna up where she belongs during the 300th-episode opener.</ti.ew:image-seo-caption>
			 
			 <ti.ew:media>TV</ti.ew:media>
			 
			 <ti.ew:starship>NO</ti.ew:starship>
			 <ti.ew:grade>--</ti.ew:grade>
			 
			 <ti.ew:genre>Reality TV</ti.ew:genre>
			 <ti.ew:episode>Episode 17</ti.ew:episode>
			 <ti.ew:season>Season 16</ti.ew:season>			
			 
						 <media:group>
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			  <media:credit role="photographer"><![CDATA[ABC]]></media:credit>
			  <media:copyright><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></media:copyright>
			  <media:caption type="html"><![CDATA[<p><strong>DIAMONDS ARE A PRO'S BEST FRIEND</strong> Love lifts Sharna up where she belongs during the 300th-episode opener.</p>]]></media:caption>
			 </media:group>
						
			</item>
						
			<item>
			
			 <ti.ew:blog>TV Recaps</ti.ew:blog>
			 <ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>
			 <ti.ew:headline><![CDATA['The Voice' recap: Out of the Fire]]></ti.ew:headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-headline><![CDATA['The Voice' recap: Out of the Fire]]></ti.ew:seo-headline>
			 <ti.ew:headline-sort><![CDATA[Voice' recap: Out of the Fire]]></ti.ew:headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:headline-a>V</ti.ew:headline-a>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline><![CDATA['The Voice' recap: Out of the Fire]]></ti.ew:tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-headline><![CDATA['The Voice' recap: Out of the Fire]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-sort><![CDATA[Voice recap: Out of the Fire]]></ti.ew:tout-headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-a>V</ti.ew:tout-headline-a>
			 
			 <ti.ew:deck><![CDATA[Tonight: Two so-not-surprising eliminations and the power of air conditioning]]></ti.ew:deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-deck><![CDATA[Tonight: Two so-not-surprising eliminations and the power of air conditioning]]></ti.ew:seo-deck>
			 <ti.ew:tout-deck><![CDATA[Tonight: Two so-not-surprising eliminations and the power of air conditioning]]></ti.ew:tout-deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-deck><![CDATA[Tonight: Two so-not-surprising eliminations and the power of air conditioning]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-deck>			 
			 
			 <ti.ew:story><![CDATA[Things may be cooler in <em>Voice</em>-land tonight (oh y'all it was so hot last night, says Carson Daly/everyone) but they are no less bloody, continuing to dispatch wannabe singing stars with a speed that <em>American Idol </em>hasn't come close to matching since its inaugural summer season. Another week, another batch cut.

Carson Daly reminds us that, "Last night, if it wasn't hot enough [<em>Ed. note: oh y'all so hot</em>], the Top 12 lit up the stage with some incredible performances." The show is breaking voting records and this week's performances <em>all </em>charted on iTunes -- something without precedent. But that won't save two of our performers. Consolation: Robin Thicke will sing for and/or adjacent to several of you. Bonus: He will throw his sunglasses violently to the stage for you to steal!

Here's how it shook out:

Carson introduces Robin Thicke to sing his latest single, "Blurred Lines," which sounds so much catchier than its video would suggest. It helps that Pharrell carries the hook like a bouncing ball, making it easier for America to collectively avert our eyes from T.I.'s camo pants and vest. Hotlanta does not agree! Kris Thomas and Vedo are apparently also on stage, but they do so little that it's a shock when the camera cuts to them. Did they know they were performing?

Before saving anyone, Carson talks to the coaches to talk about everyone. They love their teams! Usher is wearing a shirt! (One of these is a direct quote.) Adam says that his team has work to do while Shakira admits her lack of objectivity and then lies by saying that her team needed to shake things up in order to improve and then covers that lie with the truth: "Guys, I love you." Blake is celebrating his anniversary to <del>better</del> fellow country star Miranda Lambert and also blathering on about how "important" Danielle Bradberry is -- not just to his team or to this season or to the country music industry but to <em>the world</em>. Usher is hopeful that America will make the right choices (foreshadowing).

It's almost time to save two singers <em>but first </em>it's time for the confessional. A rapid-fire: Michelle confesses that the clapper is too heavy; Kris is terrified of clowns; Vedo used to sing to help sell body oils; Sasha used to have a really strong New York accent; Judith has sung the word "farts" to children; Colton-of-the-Swons is <em>not </em>a germophobe, if anyone asks/Zach's face is more than 50 percent rubber; Danielle <em>is </em>addicted to selfies; and Josiah owes his college hockey career to <em>The Mighty Ducks. </em>

<strong>NEXT: First there were two</strong>



Back on stage, our Top 12 has assembled while Carson tells them not to be surprised if he asks them randomly probing questions. Then he asks Vedo a randomly probing question and prefaces it with the revelation that his dead mother is proud of him. Now what would making it further in this competition mean to him?

Let's skip straight to the votes...

<strong>America saves: Kris Thomas and The Swon Brothers</strong>

It's worth noting that Kris and the Swons aren't necessarily the Top 2, but are just who was saved "first" -- and though neither save is, like, <em>right on</em>, it's understandable, especially given the latter duo's influx of melodic capital from their George Jones cover last night. Regardless, all three are <em>ecstatic </em>while Carson reminds the rest that they are all still at risk because he learned how to host from someone who is very rude.

We return to see Blake has marshaled the "dream team" (his words) to sing "Play Something Country" with a giant jukebox. It's <em>fine </em>but the song is only better-than karaoke bric-a-brac on its best day and Team Blake seems weirdly disparate. Did no one tell them that country is their genre, that they're the stuff Blake's dreamed of? Blake dreams of Danielle Bradberry. The poor girl -- who is a very, very good singer -- is not-not-not a star, not yet. She looks stranded, more than once, on the stage, and ends up far out in the crowd, slapping her hands along to the beat. Danielle's got potential (talented people always do) but Blake's <em>ne plus ultra </em>narrative that she will deliver us has a few holes.

<em>Any</em>way. It's time for some more not-eliminations:

<strong>America saves: Sarah Simmons and Josiah Hawley</strong>

<strong></strong>Okay, so do we like Josiah now? Because he looks like a shoestring question mark that's only just discovered how to be charming without being concurrently irritating. I guess we like him now. I like him! I want his V-neck.

(As Samantha Highfill said when I told her he was safe: "No.")

Next is Lady Antebellum singing newest single, "Goodbye Town," with assists from Team Adam. If I told you that I loved the performance or the song, I would be lying. But whatever: Lies are less than the sum total of goodwill built up by Lady A letting Sarah, Judith, and Amber actually do something alongside them. Charles Kelly even looked at Amber! Hillary Scott did not. (Amber's voice sounded better than Hillary Scott's.)

Christina Milian sighting: She's up in the skybox talking to the Swons and Kris about being saved. Both would like to thank America. Colton actually blesses America, but he didn't ask America's permission first so we'll ignore it.<em>
</em>

<strong>NEXT: <em>Idol </em>shade at almost-10 o'clock</strong>



At the firing line, Carson asks Michelle about her not quite fitting in, as well as her continued ability to succeed in a mainstream singing competition dependent on currying favor with very-very many people. She's just thankful for the incredible opportunity and for being appreciated.

<strong>America saves: Judith Hill and Danielle Bradberry</strong>

<strong></strong>That means it's time for another musical break: Adam and his ladies do a cover of "Love Song," which, like, really? You can close your eyes and pretend that <em>Idol </em>isn't a thing but then you really shouldn't invite comparisons between <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7acuT6Sydc4">one of its season-best performances</a> and whatever happens when people sit on rugged risers and sing about their feelings. It's a boho-awkward performance that neither allows the singers to stand out nor does anything with the song's skeleton. It's just different. But different-<em>bad.</em>

<b>America saves: Michelle Chamuel and Amber Carrington</b>

<strong></strong>How cute was it, seeing Michelle and Vedo huddle together? And how angry, or fey-angry, was Blake preparing to be about Adam's arm pump before he realized the cameras weren't going to cut to him because <em>there were only minutes left</em>?

But one last thing from Carson: Hey Garrett, can you tell us a bit more about what it means to make it to the Top 12 this year since you were eliminated last season? The secret word is "trying." (Happy birthday, Garrett's dad!)

<strong>America saves: Holly Tucker and Sasha Allen</strong>

And with only seconds to spare, we learn that...

<strong></strong><strong>America eliminates: Vedo and Garrett Gardner</strong>

Even midway through the season, it's clear that <em>The Voice </em>will be run by the women. They are all the strongest performers, personalities, and singers. And last night was a step up from mediocre for remaining male contestants Kris, Josiah, and the Swons. All that said: Vedo(/Garrett) aren't bad and Tops 11/12 are usually reserved for bad performers. I hope one of them grabbed Robin Thicke's sunglasses.

Were you sad to see either of them go? And are you excited for the return of Cee-Lo? (Do we really think Joel Madden is in Australia?)

<a href="https://twitter.com/acarlson91"><em>Follow Adam on Twitter</em></a>]]></ti.ew:story>
			 <ti.ew:seo-story><![CDATA[Things may be cooler in Voice-land tonight (oh y'all it was so hot last night, says Carson Daly/everyone) but they are no less bloody, continuing to dispatch wannabe singing stars with a speed that American Idol hasn't come close to matching since its inaugural summer season. Another week, another batch cut.

Carson Daly reminds us that, "Last night, if it wasn't hot enough [Ed. note: oh y'all so hot], the Top 12 lit up the stage with some incredible performances." The show is breaking voting records and this week's performances all charted on iTunes -- something without precedent. But that won't save two of our performers. Consolation: Robin Thicke will sing for and/or adjacent to several of you. Bonus: He will throw his sunglasses violently to the stage for you to steal!

Here's how it shook out:

Carson introduces Robin Thicke to sing his latest single, "Blurred Lines," which sounds so much catchier than its video would suggest. It helps that Pharrell carries the hook like a bouncing ball, making it easier for America to collectively avert our eyes from T.I.'s camo pants and vest. Hotlanta does not agree! Kris Thomas and Vedo are apparently also on stage, but they do so little that it's a shock when the camera cuts to them. Did they know they were performing?

Before saving anyone, Carson talks to the coaches to talk about everyone. They love their teams! Usher is wearing a shirt! (One of these is a direct quote.) Adam says that his team has work to do while Shakira admits her lack of objectivity and then lies by saying that her team needed to shake things up in order to improve and then covers that lie with the truth: "Guys, I love you." Blake is celebrating his anniversary to better fellow country star Miranda Lambert and also blathering on about how "important" Danielle Bradberry is -- not just to his team or to this season or to the country music industry but to the world. Usher is hopeful that America will make the right choices (foreshadowing).

It's almost time to save two singers but first it's time for the confessional. A rapid-fire: Michelle confesses that the clapper is too heavy; Kris is terrified of clowns; Vedo used to sing to help sell body oils; Sasha used to have a really strong New York accent; Judith has sung the word "farts" to children; Colton-of-the-Swons is not a germophobe, if anyone asks/Zach's face is more than 50 percent rubber; Danielle is addicted to selfies; and Josiah owes his college hockey career to The Mighty Ducks. 

NEXT: First there were two



Back on stage, our Top 12 has assembled while Carson tells them not to be surprised if he asks them randomly probing questions. Then he asks Vedo a randomly probing question and prefaces it with the revelation that his dead mother is proud of him. Now what would making it further in this competition mean to him?

Let's skip straight to the votes...

America saves: Kris Thomas and The Swon Brothers

It's worth noting that Kris and the Swons aren't necessarily the Top 2, but are just who was saved "first" -- and though neither save is, like, right on, it's understandable, especially given the latter duo's influx of melodic capital from their George Jones cover last night. Regardless, all three are ecstatic while Carson reminds the rest that they are all still at risk because he learned how to host from someone who is very rude.

We return to see Blake has marshaled the "dream team" (his words) to sing "Play Something Country" with a giant jukebox. It's fine but the song is only better-than karaoke bric-a-brac on its best day and Team Blake seems weirdly disparate. Did no one tell them that country is their genre, that they're the stuff Blake's dreamed of? Blake dreams of Danielle Bradberry. The poor girl -- who is a very, very good singer -- is not-not-not a star, not yet. She looks stranded, more than once, on the stage, and ends up far out in the crowd, slapping her hands along to the beat. Danielle's got potential (talented people always do) but Blake's ne plus ultra narrative that she will deliver us has a few holes.

Anyway. It's time for some more not-eliminations:

America saves: Sarah Simmons and Josiah Hawley

Okay, so do we like Josiah now? Because he looks like a shoestring question mark that's only just discovered how to be charming without being concurrently irritating. I guess we like him now. I like him! I want his V-neck.

(As Samantha Highfill said when I told her he was safe: "No.")

Next is Lady Antebellum singing newest single, "Goodbye Town," with assists from Team Adam. If I told you that I loved the performance or the song, I would be lying. But whatever: Lies are less than the sum total of goodwill built up by Lady A letting Sarah, Judith, and Amber actually do something alongside them. Charles Kelly even looked at Amber! Hillary Scott did not. (Amber's voice sounded better than Hillary Scott's.)

Christina Milian sighting: She's up in the skybox talking to the Swons and Kris about being saved. Both would like to thank America. Colton actually blesses America, but he didn't ask America's permission first so we'll ignore it.


NEXT: Idol shade at almost-10 o'clock



At the firing line, Carson asks Michelle about her not quite fitting in, as well as her continued ability to succeed in a mainstream singing competition dependent on currying favor with very-very many people. She's just thankful for the incredible opportunity and for being appreciated.

America saves: Judith Hill and Danielle Bradberry

That means it's time for another musical break: Adam and his ladies do a cover of "Love Song," which, like, really? You can close your eyes and pretend that Idol isn't a thing but then you really shouldn't invite comparisons between one of its season-best performances and whatever happens when people sit on rugged risers and sing about their feelings. It's a boho-awkward performance that neither allows the singers to stand out nor does anything with the song's skeleton. It's just different. But different-bad.

America saves: Michelle Chamuel and Amber Carrington

How cute was it, seeing Michelle and Vedo huddle together? And how angry, or fey-angry, was Blake preparing to be about Adam's arm pump before he realized the cameras weren't going to cut to him because there were only minutes left?

But one last thing from Carson: Hey Garrett, can you tell us a bit more about what it means to make it to the Top 12 this year since you were eliminated last season? The secret word is "trying." (Happy birthday, Garrett's dad!)

America saves: Holly Tucker and Sasha Allen

And with only seconds to spare, we learn that...

America eliminates: Vedo and Garrett Gardner

Even midway through the season, it's clear that The Voice will be run by the women. They are all the strongest performers, personalities, and singers. And last night was a step up from mediocre for remaining male contestants Kris, Josiah, and the Swons. All that said: Vedo(/Garrett) aren't bad and Tops 11/12 are usually reserved for bad performers. I hope one of them grabbed Robin Thicke's sunglasses.

Were you sad to see either of them go? And are you excited for the return of Cee-Lo? (Do we really think Joel Madden is in Australia?)

Follow Adam on Twitter]]></ti.ew:seo-story>
			 
			 <ti.ew:episode-type>Regular Episode</ti.ew:episode-type>
			
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword><![CDATA[The Voice]]></ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword>TV</ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[The Voice]]></ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[The Voice]]></ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name><![CDATA[The Voice]]></ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name><![CDATA[The Voice]]></ti.ew:topics-label-or-category-name>
			 
			 
			 
			 <guid><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/the-voice-season-4-episode-17/]]></guid>
			 <category><![CDATA[TV]]></category>
			 <title type="html"><![CDATA['The Voice' recap: Out of the Fire]]></title>
			 
			 <description type="html"><![CDATA[Tonight: Two so-not-surprising eliminations and the power of air conditioning]]></description>
			 <link><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/the-voice-season-4-episode-17/]]></link>
			 <pubDate><![CDATA[Wed, 15 May 2013 01:00:47 -0400 ]]></pubDate>
			 <author><![CDATA[Adam Carlson]]></author>			 
			 <ti.ew:excerpt type="html"><![CDATA[Things may be cooler in Voice-land tonight (oh y'all it was so hot last night, says Carson Daly/everyone) but they are no less bloody, continuing to dispatch wannabe singing stars with a speed that American Idol hasn't come close to matching since its inaugural summer season. Another week, another batch cut.

Carson Daly reminds us that, "Last night, if it wasn't hot enough [Ed. note: oh y'all so hot], the Top 12 lit up the stage with some incredible performances." The show is breaking voting records and this week's performances all charted on iTunes -- something without precedent. But that won't save two of our performers. ......]]></ti.ew:excerpt>
			 <ti.ew:copyright type="html"><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></ti.ew:copyright>
			 <ti.ew:series><![CDATA[The Voice]]></ti.ew:series>
			 <tvSeries><![CDATA[The Voice]]></tvSeries>
			 
			 <utcDate><![CDATA[1368579647]]></utcDate>
			 <postID><![CDATA[33205]]></postID>
			 
			 <ti.ew:airdate>Tue, 14 May 2013 00:00:00 +0000</ti.ew:airdate>
			 <ti.ew:airdate-formatted>May 14</ti.ew:airdate-formatted>
			 <ti.ew:content-type>Recap</ti.ew:content-type>
			 <ti.ew:channel>TV</ti.ew:channel>
			 <ti.ew:community-section-name>TV Watch</ti.ew:community-section-name>
			 <ti.ew:eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:eyebrow>			
			 <ti.ew:network><![CDATA[NBC]]></ti.ew:network>
			 <tvNetwork><![CDATA[NBC]]></tvNetwork>
			
			 <ti.ew:communityCommentsID>tvr_33205</ti.ew:communityCommentsID>
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			 <ti.ew:hilite><![CDATA[Tue, May 14 | NBC]]></ti.ew:hilite>
			 
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			 <ti.ew:image-credit><![CDATA[NBC]]></ti.ew:image-credit>
			 
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-credit>NBC</ti.ew:image-seo-credit>
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-caption>THE BEST MAN Kris Thomas improved his chances with a solid live performance this week, saving him from the elimination that befell two of his fellows.</ti.ew:image-seo-caption>
			 
			 <ti.ew:media>TV</ti.ew:media>
			 
			 <ti.ew:starship>NO</ti.ew:starship>
			 <ti.ew:grade>--</ti.ew:grade>
			 
			 <ti.ew:genre>Reality TV</ti.ew:genre>
			 <ti.ew:episode>Episode 17</ti.ew:episode>
			 <ti.ew:season>Season 4</ti.ew:season>			
			 
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			  <media:copyright><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></media:copyright>
			  <media:caption type="html"><![CDATA[<p><strong>THE BEST MAN </strong>Kris Thomas improved his chances with a solid live performance this week, saving him from the elimination that befell two of his fellows.</p>]]></media:caption>
			 </media:group>
						
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			<item>
			
			 <ti.ew:blog>TV Recaps</ti.ew:blog>
			 <ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>TV Recap</ti.ew:seo-eyebrow>
			 <ti.ew:headline><![CDATA['Dancing With the Stars' recap: Jungle Boogie]]></ti.ew:headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-headline><![CDATA['Dancing With the Stars' recap: Jungle Boogie]]></ti.ew:seo-headline>
			 <ti.ew:headline-sort><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars' recap: Jungle Boogie]]></ti.ew:headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:headline-a>D</ti.ew:headline-a>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline><![CDATA['Dancing With the Stars' recap: Jungle Boogie]]></ti.ew:tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-headline><![CDATA['Dancing With the Stars' recap: Jungle Boogie]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-headline>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-sort><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars recap: Jungle Boogie]]></ti.ew:tout-headline-sort>
			 <ti.ew:tout-headline-a>D</ti.ew:tout-headline-a>
			 
			 <ti.ew:deck><![CDATA[The five couples take on absurdly non-ballroom styles in the semifinals. Plus: sparkle-infused champagne. Let's party!]]></ti.ew:deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-deck><![CDATA[The five couples take on absurdly non-ballroom styles in the semifinals. Plus: sparkle-infused champagne. Let's party!]]></ti.ew:seo-deck>
			 <ti.ew:tout-deck><![CDATA[The five couples take on absurdly non-ballroom styles in the semifinals. Plus: sparkle-infused champagne. Let's party!]]></ti.ew:tout-deck>
			 <ti.ew:seo-tout-deck><![CDATA[The five couples take on absurdly non-ballroom styles in the semifinals. Plus: sparkle-infused champagne. Let's party!]]></ti.ew:seo-tout-deck>			 
			 
			 <ti.ew:story><![CDATA[It's the semifinals! Time to abandon ballroom dancing as we know it and watch <em>Mark Ballas presents The Lion King</em>!

<em>Will the judges please reveal their scores? Carrie Ann Inahhhh-ber!</em>

<strong>Jacoby Jones and Karina Smirnoff: 30/30 Argentine tango + 29/30 Lindy Hop = 59/60</strong> These two are officially the most-bleeped couple of season 16 during rehearsal footage, and that's not even counting Sunday's camera blocking session, at which Karina landed on her jaw during a Lindy Hop lift. (Sorry, I know this is serious stuff, but I kept thinking of Cher from <em>Clueless</em> describing her mother's death: "Freak accident during a routine liposuction!")

Krazy K decided to put her neck on the line and dance anyway, of course, and she positively shimmered in their round 1 Argentine tango. I could barely remove my eyes from the sparkly purple netting on her headpiece, let alone her body, especially as she slithered down Jacoby mid-lift as the music slowed. Hooray for all the "upbeat orchestra" tango music tonight, by the way! Lyrics can be so bothersome. Seriously.

This tango didn't <em>quite</em> do it for me -- I loved the platform setting, their costumes, and the music, but it seemed to have everything but the timing. I found him slightly sloppy in the background of Karina's extreme polish. I didn't see the "slick, clean, prowling predator" that Bruno did. I mean, I know they gotta give Jacoby a 30 at some point so that he's firmly established as a <em>contendah</em> (not a pretendah!) in next week's finals. But I actually thought Jacoby's second dance, the Lindy Hop, was much more impressive. Not only did it electrify the ballroom in a very real way, but....

HAROLD WHEELER SPOKE! The band leader convincingly scolded Jacoby and Karina to quit being not-so-hidden gems as part of the brass section at the top of the Lindy Hop. "Get out of here... <em>now!!!</em>" He really sold me. The man has gotta protect his band from the Sparkalien species, who probably just want to use Team Harold's jacuzzi (a figment of Tom's imagination...<em>or a real thing?</em>) to treat their various injuries.

Unbelievably, Jacoby and Karina executed lifts just as freaky and complicated as the one that had given them trouble during rehearsal. From her adorable purple-toed flats, to the little number 12 on his left sleeve, to the speed of the dance that fit the NFL star like a sequined glove, this dance was pretty perfect to me.

"Without a doubt, I vote you the number one entertainer of season 16!" proclaimed Carrie Ann after the Lindy Hop -- and this was much more eloquent than her first critique, which was NOTHING...just an apology for getting "all heated up again" and some contrived writhing. Tom, pressed for time, had to just be like, <em>Okay, no. Enough now.</em> "I think that said volumes," he assured her, shooing the dancers away. "That said it all."

Mama Jacoby, by the way, was remarkably subdued this week for someone with a sparkly '10' paddle. <strong>***SPARKLEBARF ALERT***</strong> After seeing all those photos of Jacoby and his mom during his Overcoming Obstacles segment, I had a sudden surge of love for her and no longer find her so annoying. Ah, the magic of editing...and timing. Happy belated Mother's Day to that enthusiastic weirdo!

<strong>NEXT: Most Improved Player Aly Raisman has perfected the seething hug</strong> <strong>Alexandra Raisman and Mark Ballas: 30/30 rumba + 29/30 afro jazz = 59/60</strong> Sometimes I think the judges try to force the "personal growth" arc, but I see it in Aly. She's technically just as talented as ever, but the difference between week 1's robotic stiffness and week 9's relaxed vulnerability is significant. She's hamming it up like never before (Mark must be so proud) and readily flings herself into those "seething hugs" mid-rehearsal. You know the ones I'm talking about, right? Where apparently the best way to convey SEXY is to get really ANGRY that you're about to wrap your arms around someone? You totally know what I mean. Aly can do that now without laughing at herself. She's come so far! Most improved dancer of the season!

Kudos to the costumers for finding Aly her most flattering look yet -- I loved the raspberry-to-indigo gradient on the drapery wrapped around her black rumba bodice. Her shiny little gymnast booties made me a bit sad, but hey, if that's what makes her comfortable, let's just go with it. Flats City. The sensuality of the rumba can really trip people up, but Aly was ready for it. "You were all woman out there!" cried Carrie Ann, while Bruno insisted Aly had transformed into a butterfly.

Break out the loincloth, elaborate headdresses, and paper-punch dots for the face, because it's time for Afro Jazz! Sure the costumes were trite and stereotypical, but they were nothing a severe eye roll and hearty swig of Project Paso red wine couldn't fix. Aly rocked this dance, whatever the heck it was. I was exhausted after seeing even those two-second snippets of her Olympic workouts -- so by the time she finished this 90-second Adventures in Athleticism display, I was sweating by association. Thank God for my recapping ice cream which was sitting right there to cool me off!

"QUEEN OF THE JUNGLE!" announced Bruno. Aly was at times a warrior princess, at times a bird of paradise. You know Mark was jealous that all of these comparisons weren't aimed his way as well.

Len thought the dance caused Aly and Mark to "isolate each other a little bit," which was absolutely true, but of course the crowd freaked out. "MY VIEWS ARE ONLY MY OPINION!" roared the head judge as Carrie Ann helpfully chirped "Old school....New school!" to delineate the great age difference between them.

Oh, people. I know it's on TV and all, but this is still supposed to be a ballroom dancing competition. If the only ballroom traditionalist is gonna get booed after an Afro Jazz sendup to<em> The Lion King</em> for merely announcing the definition of a point of view, we might just need to call the whole thing off. Everyone please behave.

<strong>NEXT: The Fast and the Furious, Dancing Crayons</strong> <strong>Kellie Pickler and Derek Hough: 30/30 Argentine tango + 28/30 flamenco = 58/60</strong> Ooooooh, yes. That Argentine tango definitely deserved a 30 -- much more than Jacoby's, or Aly's rumba, if you ask me. The only gripe I have about it is that against the hazy red background, Kellie's moves were difficult to make out once she and Derek progressed beyond Silhouette Land. But oh my! Her lines in silhouette were so perfect. This was a cool callback to Derek and Ricki Lake's <em>Psycho</em> tango from season 13...but better! Some of those lifted, split-leg spins were so quick I thought my DVR might have launched into fast-forward mode without my permission. (Like Mark, it was just really excited for Afro Jazz.) "Like watching Chita Rivera!" cried Bruno.

Kellie's Overcoming Obstacles package was so sweet and inspiring (with guest appearances from Brad Paisley, Carrie Underwood, and her often-jailed dad) that I wanted her best dance to be smushed up against it. The flamenco was not that. I'm sure Derek choreographed a true-to-form routine, but Kellie was visibly straining under the pressure of the week and the weight of her thousand-pound ruffly white dress. I got annoyed by all the clapping -- yes, I understand it's part of the dance; I deserve death! -- and just wanted this particular round of the Feats of Strength to be over.

Bruno held up what Tom called "a Freudian paddle" -- a 10 instead of the 9 he'd written down post-flamenco. Bruno may have been scoring Derek's shirtless/suspenders combo instead of the dance. Happens to all of us, though I probably would have gone with a "seh-<em>vehhhhhhhn!</em>" to show solidarity with the burdened-by-too-much-fabric Kellie.

<strong>Zendaya and Val Chmerkovskiy: 25/30 quickstep + 30/30 hip hop = 55/60</strong> Whaaaaat was this quickstep? The race car concept was really fun, but woof, those costumes.They looked like giant crayons! I could barely detect that Zendaya and Val were performing any dance at all amidst my great marvel, and concern, that these crayons had butts. That's all I looked at the whole time: their butts. Two fine butts, to be sure -- undulating fiercely in their deceptively loose-fitting polyester sausage casings. I'm sorry! But this is not my fault! Blame the person who thought of the crayon costumes! I'm sure Zendaya makes a fabulous quickstepper. We will simply never know. Crayon butts.

Big dress-up night for Val, actually -- he was hilariously out of his element, and hotter than ever I might add, in that hip hop routine, but the teacher-cum-student made the transition work, big-time. There's no use in wondering WHY the teenager who's a professional hip-hop dancer got to dance a hip-hop routine in the semifinals of a ballroom dancing competition. All you need to know is that one-time Nutella spokesperson Kobe Bryant can vouch for her, and also Val looks hot in nerd glasses and pink All-Stars. That's pretty much it. You're cool with that, right?

<strong>NEXT: I'm a monster, and Ingo Rademacher looks super hot in Just a Vest</strong> I was always a little iffy on Zendaya, but her Overcoming Quasi-Obstacles package really sold me this week. Learning that she was a shy kid who made a better observer than a performer was so endearing, and helped explain her goofy/relaxed/self-aware vibe. I'd sort of been viewing her as a Disney product with no real soul, which was superficial of me. (Not surprising, though. You just read that thing about the butts. I'm an asshole!) Her 6'4" mom is the best -- the total opposite of your aggressive, cliched stage mom. Have I drunk the Kool-Aid? Whatever. I like the girl.

Anyway, along with stodgy old Len, I was relieved that this hip-hop routine erred on the "Pop" side of hip-hop (<em>So You Think You Can Dance</em> fans know the safe, music video-esque style I'm talking about) instead of the "crash-banging tension" the head judge expected. "There was a real cheekiness going on," Len said. "Great rhythm." And Val made sure to keep the rhythm alive with an adorable sideways Moonwalk on the way up to Brookebot Mountain.

<strong>Ingo Rademacher and Kym Johnson: 24/30 samba + 27/30 Charleston = 51/60</strong> This week Kym and Ingo took their State of the Union chat outside, after-school special-style, because nothing says "Underdogs" like a BLEAK BRICK WALL. Their training package offered beautiful highs and lows. Ingo had put in extra hours -- would he peak at the right time?

Sort of! Costuming-wise, YES. "Just a vest" is an amazing look on any fit, spray-tanned male, which is just one of the thousands of lessons I've learned from <em>Dancing With the Stars</em>. That all-black getup for his samba and the pink tie and brim-ribbon (on his hat from the Gavin DeGraw Collection) in the Charleston somehow both offset his ice-blue eyes perfectly. I realize I haven't mentioned Ingo's technique. Well, if I must! His hip action on the samba -- though admirably jerked forth -- was a bit awkward, and the pair appeared to be playing catch-up with the music during the final series of dips.

The Charleston was more Ingo's speed, for sure, and Kym wisely made use of both his great frame and a static-y sepia-toned opening section. Len called this Ingo's best dance without really explaining why -- I think Len just might really, really like champagne. And who doesn't, especially when it comes in a Peanut Rademacher-sized bottle and shoots out glitter upon corkage? Let's party!

Two Speedo mentions tonight -- I feel like this is an important thing to document on <em>DWTS</em>. Ingo's wife Ehiku told the story of how they met -- she was sitting on the Hawaiian sand with a friend and suddenly Ingo and his friend -- both in Speedos -- approached with the goods on display at eye level. "We were both like, 'Hiiiiii....'" Ehiku remembered, ducking off to the side and shielding her eyes. She's so cute!

Oh, and then Bruno announced that if Aly and Mark don't make it to next week's finals, "I'm gonna judge in Speedos." Oh, Bruno. You know he actually wants to do this. Why not make the promise/threat to Ingo and Kym instead?<em> </em>

<strong>So who goes home tonight? Ingo, obviously, right? Discuss!</strong>

<em>Nominate your hidden gems by 2 p.m. ET <a href="http://popwatch.ew.com/2013/05/13/dancing-with-the-stars-semifinals-are-live/" target="_blank">over on PopWatch</a>.</em>

XOXO,
<a href="http://on.fb.me/QCZaYj" target="_blank">Fringe Fairy</a>

<a class="twitter-follow-button" href="https://twitter.com/EWAnnieBarrett">Follow @EWAnnieBarrett</a>

<strong>Read more:
</strong><a href="http://tvrecaps.ew.com/tv-show/dancing-with-the-stars-2/" target="_blank">All 'DWTS' recaps on EW.com</a>
<a href="http://popwatch.ew.com/tag/hidden-gems-uncategorized/" target="_blank">'DWTS': All Hidden Gems of the Week!</a>
<a href="http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20356896_20687086,00.html" target="_blank">Top 10 'Dancing With the Stars' Pros of All Time -- PHOTOS</a><strong>
</strong><a href="http://bit.ly/Zy46hM" target="_blank">Tristan MacManus tours the 'DWTS' rehearsal space -- EXCLUSIVE VIDEO</a>

<em><a href="http://on.fb.me/QCZaYj" target="_blank">Annie Barrett's 'DWTS' Facebook page</a></em>]]></ti.ew:story>
			 <ti.ew:seo-story><![CDATA[It's the semifinals! Time to abandon ballroom dancing as we know it and watch Mark Ballas presents The Lion King!

Will the judges please reveal their scores? Carrie Ann Inahhhh-ber!

Jacoby Jones and Karina Smirnoff: 30/30 Argentine tango + 29/30 Lindy Hop = 59/60 These two are officially the most-bleeped couple of season 16 during rehearsal footage, and that's not even counting Sunday's camera blocking session, at which Karina landed on her jaw during a Lindy Hop lift. (Sorry, I know this is serious stuff, but I kept thinking of Cher from Clueless describing her mother's death: "Freak accident during a routine liposuction!")

Krazy K decided to put her neck on the line and dance anyway, of course, and she positively shimmered in their round 1 Argentine tango. I could barely remove my eyes from the sparkly purple netting on her headpiece, let alone her body, especially as she slithered down Jacoby mid-lift as the music slowed. Hooray for all the "upbeat orchestra" tango music tonight, by the way! Lyrics can be so bothersome. Seriously.

This tango didn't quite do it for me -- I loved the platform setting, their costumes, and the music, but it seemed to have everything but the timing. I found him slightly sloppy in the background of Karina's extreme polish. I didn't see the "slick, clean, prowling predator" that Bruno did. I mean, I know they gotta give Jacoby a 30 at some point so that he's firmly established as a contendah (not a pretendah!) in next week's finals. But I actually thought Jacoby's second dance, the Lindy Hop, was much more impressive. Not only did it electrify the ballroom in a very real way, but....

HAROLD WHEELER SPOKE! The band leader convincingly scolded Jacoby and Karina to quit being not-so-hidden gems as part of the brass section at the top of the Lindy Hop. "Get out of here... now!!!" He really sold me. The man has gotta protect his band from the Sparkalien species, who probably just want to use Team Harold's jacuzzi (a figment of Tom's imagination...or a real thing?) to treat their various injuries.

Unbelievably, Jacoby and Karina executed lifts just as freaky and complicated as the one that had given them trouble during rehearsal. From her adorable purple-toed flats, to the little number 12 on his left sleeve, to the speed of the dance that fit the NFL star like a sequined glove, this dance was pretty perfect to me.

"Without a doubt, I vote you the number one entertainer of season 16!" proclaimed Carrie Ann after the Lindy Hop -- and this was much more eloquent than her first critique, which was NOTHING...just an apology for getting "all heated up again" and some contrived writhing. Tom, pressed for time, had to just be like, Okay, no. Enough now. "I think that said volumes," he assured her, shooing the dancers away. "That said it all."

Mama Jacoby, by the way, was remarkably subdued this week for someone with a sparkly '10' paddle. ***SPARKLEBARF ALERT*** After seeing all those photos of Jacoby and his mom during his Overcoming Obstacles segment, I had a sudden surge of love for her and no longer find her so annoying. Ah, the magic of editing...and timing. Happy belated Mother's Day to that enthusiastic weirdo!

NEXT: Most Improved Player Aly Raisman has perfected the seething hug Alexandra Raisman and Mark Ballas: 30/30 rumba + 29/30 afro jazz = 59/60 Sometimes I think the judges try to force the "personal growth" arc, but I see it in Aly. She's technically just as talented as ever, but the difference between week 1's robotic stiffness and week 9's relaxed vulnerability is significant. She's hamming it up like never before (Mark must be so proud) and readily flings herself into those "seething hugs" mid-rehearsal. You know the ones I'm talking about, right? Where apparently the best way to convey SEXY is to get really ANGRY that you're about to wrap your arms around someone? You totally know what I mean. Aly can do that now without laughing at herself. She's come so far! Most improved dancer of the season!

Kudos to the costumers for finding Aly her most flattering look yet -- I loved the raspberry-to-indigo gradient on the drapery wrapped around her black rumba bodice. Her shiny little gymnast booties made me a bit sad, but hey, if that's what makes her comfortable, let's just go with it. Flats City. The sensuality of the rumba can really trip people up, but Aly was ready for it. "You were all woman out there!" cried Carrie Ann, while Bruno insisted Aly had transformed into a butterfly.

Break out the loincloth, elaborate headdresses, and paper-punch dots for the face, because it's time for Afro Jazz! Sure the costumes were trite and stereotypical, but they were nothing a severe eye roll and hearty swig of Project Paso red wine couldn't fix. Aly rocked this dance, whatever the heck it was. I was exhausted after seeing even those two-second snippets of her Olympic workouts -- so by the time she finished this 90-second Adventures in Athleticism display, I was sweating by association. Thank God for my recapping ice cream which was sitting right there to cool me off!

"QUEEN OF THE JUNGLE!" announced Bruno. Aly was at times a warrior princess, at times a bird of paradise. You know Mark was jealous that all of these comparisons weren't aimed his way as well.

Len thought the dance caused Aly and Mark to "isolate each other a little bit," which was absolutely true, but of course the crowd freaked out. "MY VIEWS ARE ONLY MY OPINION!" roared the head judge as Carrie Ann helpfully chirped "Old school....New school!" to delineate the great age difference between them.

Oh, people. I know it's on TV and all, but this is still supposed to be a ballroom dancing competition. If the only ballroom traditionalist is gonna get booed after an Afro Jazz sendup to The Lion King for merely announcing the definition of a point of view, we might just need to call the whole thing off. Everyone please behave.

NEXT: The Fast and the Furious, Dancing Crayons Kellie Pickler and Derek Hough: 30/30 Argentine tango + 28/30 flamenco = 58/60 Ooooooh, yes. That Argentine tango definitely deserved a 30 -- much more than Jacoby's, or Aly's rumba, if you ask me. The only gripe I have about it is that against the hazy red background, Kellie's moves were difficult to make out once she and Derek progressed beyond Silhouette Land. But oh my! Her lines in silhouette were so perfect. This was a cool callback to Derek and Ricki Lake's Psycho tango from season 13...but better! Some of those lifted, split-leg spins were so quick I thought my DVR might have launched into fast-forward mode without my permission. (Like Mark, it was just really excited for Afro Jazz.) "Like watching Chita Rivera!" cried Bruno.

Kellie's Overcoming Obstacles package was so sweet and inspiring (with guest appearances from Brad Paisley, Carrie Underwood, and her often-jailed dad) that I wanted her best dance to be smushed up against it. The flamenco was not that. I'm sure Derek choreographed a true-to-form routine, but Kellie was visibly straining under the pressure of the week and the weight of her thousand-pound ruffly white dress. I got annoyed by all the clapping -- yes, I understand it's part of the dance; I deserve death! -- and just wanted this particular round of the Feats of Strength to be over.

Bruno held up what Tom called "a Freudian paddle" -- a 10 instead of the 9 he'd written down post-flamenco. Bruno may have been scoring Derek's shirtless/suspenders combo instead of the dance. Happens to all of us, though I probably would have gone with a "seh-vehhhhhhhn!" to show solidarity with the burdened-by-too-much-fabric Kellie.

Zendaya and Val Chmerkovskiy: 25/30 quickstep + 30/30 hip hop = 55/60 Whaaaaat was this quickstep? The race car concept was really fun, but woof, those costumes.They looked like giant crayons! I could barely detect that Zendaya and Val were performing any dance at all amidst my great marvel, and concern, that these crayons had butts. That's all I looked at the whole time: their butts. Two fine butts, to be sure -- undulating fiercely in their deceptively loose-fitting polyester sausage casings. I'm sorry! But this is not my fault! Blame the person who thought of the crayon costumes! I'm sure Zendaya makes a fabulous quickstepper. We will simply never know. Crayon butts.

Big dress-up night for Val, actually -- he was hilariously out of his element, and hotter than ever I might add, in that hip hop routine, but the teacher-cum-student made the transition work, big-time. There's no use in wondering WHY the teenager who's a professional hip-hop dancer got to dance a hip-hop routine in the semifinals of a ballroom dancing competition. All you need to know is that one-time Nutella spokesperson Kobe Bryant can vouch for her, and also Val looks hot in nerd glasses and pink All-Stars. That's pretty much it. You're cool with that, right?

NEXT: I'm a monster, and Ingo Rademacher looks super hot in Just a Vest I was always a little iffy on Zendaya, but her Overcoming Quasi-Obstacles package really sold me this week. Learning that she was a shy kid who made a better observer than a performer was so endearing, and helped explain her goofy/relaxed/self-aware vibe. I'd sort of been viewing her as a Disney product with no real soul, which was superficial of me. (Not surprising, though. You just read that thing about the butts. I'm an asshole!) Her 6'4" mom is the best -- the total opposite of your aggressive, cliched stage mom. Have I drunk the Kool-Aid? Whatever. I like the girl.

Anyway, along with stodgy old Len, I was relieved that this hip-hop routine erred on the "Pop" side of hip-hop (So You Think You Can Dance fans know the safe, music video-esque style I'm talking about) instead of the "crash-banging tension" the head judge expected. "There was a real cheekiness going on," Len said. "Great rhythm." And Val made sure to keep the rhythm alive with an adorable sideways Moonwalk on the way up to Brookebot Mountain.

Ingo Rademacher and Kym Johnson: 24/30 samba + 27/30 Charleston = 51/60 This week Kym and Ingo took their State of the Union chat outside, after-school special-style, because nothing says "Underdogs" like a BLEAK BRICK WALL. Their training package offered beautiful highs and lows. Ingo had put in extra hours -- would he peak at the right time?

Sort of! Costuming-wise, YES. "Just a vest" is an amazing look on any fit, spray-tanned male, which is just one of the thousands of lessons I've learned from Dancing With the Stars. That all-black getup for his samba and the pink tie and brim-ribbon (on his hat from the Gavin DeGraw Collection) in the Charleston somehow both offset his ice-blue eyes perfectly. I realize I haven't mentioned Ingo's technique. Well, if I must! His hip action on the samba -- though admirably jerked forth -- was a bit awkward, and the pair appeared to be playing catch-up with the music during the final series of dips.

The Charleston was more Ingo's speed, for sure, and Kym wisely made use of both his great frame and a static-y sepia-toned opening section. Len called this Ingo's best dance without really explaining why -- I think Len just might really, really like champagne. And who doesn't, especially when it comes in a Peanut Rademacher-sized bottle and shoots out glitter upon corkage? Let's party!

Two Speedo mentions tonight -- I feel like this is an important thing to document on DWTS. Ingo's wife Ehiku told the story of how they met -- she was sitting on the Hawaiian sand with a friend and suddenly Ingo and his friend -- both in Speedos -- approached with the goods on display at eye level. "We were both like, 'Hiiiiii....'" Ehiku remembered, ducking off to the side and shielding her eyes. She's so cute!

Oh, and then Bruno announced that if Aly and Mark don't make it to next week's finals, "I'm gonna judge in Speedos." Oh, Bruno. You know he actually wants to do this. Why not make the promise/threat to Ingo and Kym instead? 

So who goes home tonight? Ingo, obviously, right? Discuss!

Nominate your hidden gems by 2 p.m. ET over on PopWatch.

XOXO,
Fringe Fairy

Follow @EWAnnieBarrett

Read more:
All 'DWTS' recaps on EW.com
'DWTS': All Hidden Gems of the Week!
Top 10 'Dancing With the Stars' Pros of All Time -- PHOTOS
Tristan MacManus tours the 'DWTS' rehearsal space -- EXCLUSIVE VIDEO

Annie Barrett's 'DWTS' Facebook page]]></ti.ew:seo-story>
			 
			 <ti.ew:episode-type>Regular Episode</ti.ew:episode-type>
			
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars]]></ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 <ti.ew:seo-keyword>TV</ti.ew:seo-keyword>
			 
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars]]></ti.ew:key-topics-id-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars]]></ti.ew:key-topics-label-or-primary-category-name>
			 <ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars]]></ti.ew:topics-id-or-category-name>
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			 <guid><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/dancing-with-the-stars-season-16-semifinals-afro-jazz/]]></guid>
			 <category><![CDATA[TV]]></category>
			 <title type="html"><![CDATA['Dancing With the Stars' recap: Jungle Boogie]]></title>
			 
			 <description type="html"><![CDATA[The five couples take on absurdly non-ballroom styles in the semifinals. Plus: sparkle-infused champagne. Let's party!]]></description>
			 <link><![CDATA[http://tvrecaps.ew.com/recap/dancing-with-the-stars-season-16-semifinals-afro-jazz/]]></link>
			 <pubDate><![CDATA[Tue, 14 May 2013 01:40:14 -0400 ]]></pubDate>
			 <author><![CDATA[Annie Barrett]]></author>			 
			 <ti.ew:excerpt type="html"><![CDATA[It's the semifinals! Time to abandon ballroom dancing as we know it and watch Mark Ballas presents The Lion King!

Will the judges please reveal their scores? Carrie Ann Inahhhh-ber!

Jacoby Jones and Karina Smirnoff: 30/30 Argentine tango + 29/30 Lindy Hop = 59/60 These two are officially the most-bleeped couple of season 16 during rehearsal footage, and that's not even counting Sunday's camera blocking session, at which Karina landed on her jaw during a Lindy Hop lift. (Sorry, I know this is serious stuff, but I kept thinking of Cher from Clueless describing her mother's death: "Freak accident during a routine ......]]></ti.ew:excerpt>
			 <ti.ew:copyright type="html"><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></ti.ew:copyright>
			 <ti.ew:series><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars]]></ti.ew:series>
			 <tvSeries><![CDATA[Dancing With the Stars]]></tvSeries>
			 
			 <utcDate><![CDATA[1368495614]]></utcDate>
			 <postID><![CDATA[33179]]></postID>
			 
			 <ti.ew:airdate>Mon, 13 May 2013 00:00:00 +0000</ti.ew:airdate>
			 <ti.ew:airdate-formatted>May 13</ti.ew:airdate-formatted>
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			 <ti.ew:hilite><![CDATA[Mon, May 13 | ABC]]></ti.ew:hilite>
			 
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			 <ti.ew:image-seo-credit>ABC</ti.ew:image-seo-credit>
			 <ti.ew:image-seo-caption>ALL THAT AFRO JAZZ Mark begs the god of spats for forgiveness as a magical mist conjures up a perfect 30.</ti.ew:image-seo-caption>
			 
			 <ti.ew:media>TV</ti.ew:media>
			 
			 <ti.ew:starship>NO</ti.ew:starship>
			 <ti.ew:grade>--</ti.ew:grade>
			 
			 <ti.ew:genre>Reality TV</ti.ew:genre>
			 <ti.ew:episode>Episode 16</ti.ew:episode>
			 <ti.ew:season>Season 16</ti.ew:season>			
			 
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			  <media:copyright><![CDATA[Copyright (c) 2013 Entertainment Weekly. All rights reserved.]]></media:copyright>
			  <media:caption type="html"><![CDATA[<p><strong>ALL THAT AFRO JAZZ</strong> Mark begs the god of spats for forgiveness as a magical mist conjures up a perfect 30.</p>]]></media:caption>
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